ghost-dad-is-rad-blog - Tumblr blog

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

ooc!

[[okay, i've finished tagging everything. blog's back in business! most of the complete story can be read on the arcs page, if you're interested]]

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

Important Notice!

[[The group this blog is for is totally dead, but I really miss roleplaying this John. Sooooo, I'm converting this into a indie rp blog. I'm going to start posting again and if anyone wants to interact, feel free!

I'm also going to work on tagging everything here, mostly for my own convienience.]]

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

movie night 26: ghostbusters 2

Our names are different here because we quit using our skypes for RP exclusive things, sorry!

John finally gets round to showing Karkat a REAL CLASSIC. 

[27/07/2012 02:50:29] John {Kat!}: *john open the door before karkat has a chance to knock, grinning wildly*

[27/07/2012 02:50:50] John {Kat!}: hey dude! today, we are watching one of the GREATEST MOVIES EVER.

[27/07/2012 02:50:55] John {Kat!}: i hope you're excited.

[27/07/2012 02:53:02] Karkat || Vena: WELL DAMN, YOU TOTALLY BEAT ME TO THE DOOR. NICE REACTION TIME. FOR YOU, ANYWAYS. *goes past him, claiming his spot*

[27/07/2012 02:53:15] Karkat || Vena: ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES EVER? WELL FUCK, I'M ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT HERE! *literally scoots to the edge of the seat* YOU BETTER TELL ME QUICK, BEFORE ALL OF THIS EXCITEMENT GIVES ME A HEART ATTACK!

[27/07/2012 02:53:31] John {Kat!}: what do you mean, "for me"?? my reaction are always first rate!

[27/07/2012 02:54:15] John {Kat!}: *climbs on the couch, and sticks his legs in the space between karkat and the back of it*

[27/07/2012 02:54:30] John {Kat!}: okay, here's what we're watching!

[27/07/2012 02:54:38] John {Kat!}: ..............ghostbusters! the SEQUEL.

[27/07/2012 02:55:41] Karkat || Vena: *makes an overdramatic gasping sound* REALLY? AFTER ALL THIS TIME WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO WATCH THE SEQUEL? YOU WERE RIGHT, I AM PRETTY DAMN EXCITED FOR THIS!

[27/07/2012 02:55:42] John {Kat!}: most people say it was shitty, but every true ghostbusters fan knows the second movie supases the first!

[27/07/2012 02:56:17] John {Kat!}: *quickly presses play, the movie already on standby*

[27/07/2012 02:56:49] Karkat || Vena: WOW, IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE FIRST? WHAT WITH ITS SLIMER GHOST AND STAYPUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN? AND WHO COULD FORGET ZUUL? I SURE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT SORT OF SHENANIGANS THEY GET INTO THIS TIME!

[27/07/2012 02:57:23] John {Kat!}: take your sarcasm and shove it, you wait and see.

[27/07/2012 02:57:45] John {Kat!}: *kicks him playfully*

[27/07/2012 02:58:39] Karkat || Vena: WHAT SARCASM? THAT WAS TOTALLY SINCERE! *shoves him playfully back*

[27/07/2012 02:58:55] Karkat || Vena: HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS IT WITH MOVIES AND PUTTING BABIES IN DANGER?

[27/07/2012 02:59:31] John {Kat!}: pssh, i don't think it was REALLY in danger since it dodged all the cars. the ghost was probably pulling a friendly prank!

[27/07/2012 03:00:00] Karkat || Vena: PULLING A FRIENDLY PRANK BY KIDNAPPING A BABY AND SENDING IT SHOOTING DOWN THE STREET? SOUNDS REAL FRIENDLY TO ME!

[27/07/2012 03:00:11] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD, THEY'RE STUCK DOING BIRTHDAY PARTIES?

[27/07/2012 03:00:16] John {Kat!}: if i ever die and become a ghost i will be such a prankster.

[27/07/2012 03:00:49] John {Kat!}: i think my gambit would skyrocket, hahaha.

[27/07/2012 03:01:51] John {Kat!}: you can totally expect a bunch of ghostly visits from me too, obviously.

[27/07/2012 03:02:01] John {Kat!}: it will be just like THAT ONE SCENE.

[27/07/2012 03:02:06] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD.

[27/07/2012 03:02:06] John {Kat!}: ehehehe.

[27/07/2012 03:04:42] Karkat || Vena: WOW, LOOK AT ALL THESE SHITTY JOBS THEY HAVE NOW.

[27/07/2012 03:05:29] John {Kat!}: yup! sucks to be them.

[27/07/2012 03:05:59] Karkat || Vena: REAL BUMMER.

[27/07/2012 03:06:11] John {Kat!}: i am sure you're already hoping for peter and the woman to get together again. haha.

[27/07/2012 03:06:21] John {Kat!}: pffffff, this woman.

[27/07/2012 03:06:36] Karkat || Vena: OH, SHUT UP. I WASN'T THINKING THAT.

[27/07/2012 03:06:40] Karkat || Vena: RIGHT AWAY.

[27/07/2012 03:07:11] John {Kat!}: and i dunno, i think his job is actually kind of cool looking.

[27/07/2012 03:07:19] John {Kat!}: i'd love to chat to those weirdos.

[27/07/2012 03:07:44] Karkat || Vena: BUT YOU HEARD HIM, HE'S A BIG FRAUD.

[27/07/2012 03:08:23] John {Kat!}: still! it looks like a fun job. interviewing phoney psychics.

[27/07/2012 03:08:25] Karkat || Vena: WELL THAT PAINTING SURE LOOKS OMINOUS.

[27/07/2012 03:09:31] Karkat || Vena: WOW, THIS GUY IS THE WORST FLIRT.

[27/07/2012 03:09:46] John {Kat!}: pretty much, yeah.

[27/07/2012 03:09:49] Karkat || Vena: JESUS FUCK, I TOTALLY CALLED IT ON THAT PAINING.

[27/07/2012 03:09:54] John {Kat!}: he's worse than you!

[27/07/2012 03:10:16] Karkat || Vena: WORSE THAN ME? I WAS GOING TO SAY WORSE THAN YOU! BUT THAT WOULD BE GIVING YOU A LITTLE TOO MUCH CREDIT, HAHAHA.

[27/07/2012 03:11:10] John {Kat!}: shut up, i'm the best flirt. i see how red you always go!

[27/07/2012 03:11:47] Karkat || Vena: THAT ISN'T AN AFFECTIONATE RED, THAT'S AN EMBARRASSED RED. EMBARRASSED FOR YOUR FLIRTING, THAT IS.

[27/07/2012 03:12:39] John {Kat!}: yeah, lie all you want! it is a flustered red full of animal lust.

[27/07/2012 03:14:50] Karkat || Vena: JESUS CHRIST, IT'S DEFINITELY FROM EMBARRASSMENT. *rolls his eyes, turning slightly red* SEE THIS? THIS ISN'T FLUSTERING. I'M JUST SORRY FOR YOUR FLIRTING. I AM SO SORRY FOR IT.

[27/07/2012 03:15:18] John {Kat!}: it is okay karkat, i understand.

[27/07/2012 03:15:23] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD, WHAT IS HE DOING?

[27/07/2012 03:16:01] John {Kat!}: being adorable is what.

[27/07/2012 03:16:08] John {Kat!}: you can tell he likes him really.

[27/07/2012 03:16:29] Karkat || Vena: GOD, YEAH, OKAY THIS IS REALLY CUTE.

[27/07/2012 03:18:25] John {Kat!}: man they did a really good job of avoiding the question.

[27/07/2012 03:18:48] Karkat || Vena: YEAH, NO KIDDING.

[27/07/2012 03:18:58] John {Kat!}: oh no, not mr terrible flirt!

[27/07/2012 03:19:21] Karkat || Vena: OH FUCK, IS HE GOING TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER?

[27/07/2012 03:19:45] Karkat || Vena: OH SHIT.

[27/07/2012 03:19:54] John {Kat!}: what, you don't like him?!

[27/07/2012 03:20:01] John {Kat!}: come on, the man's hilarious.

[27/07/2012 03:20:19] Karkat || Vena: WELL AFTER THAT IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S JUST GOING TO BE KIND OF CREEPY.

[27/07/2012 03:20:48] Karkat || Vena: A RIVER OF SLIME.

[27/07/2012 03:21:49] John {Kat!}: a whole RIVER of it.

[27/07/2012 03:22:04] Karkat || Vena: AND NO ONE HAS NOTICED THIS BEFORE.

[27/07/2012 03:22:16] John {Kat!}: oops.

[27/07/2012 03:22:41] Karkat || Vena: THEY SURE FIXED THAT RIGHT UP!

[27/07/2012 03:23:07] John {Kat!}: man check out that ominous red light.

[27/07/2012 03:23:33] Karkat || Vena:  YEAH, NO KIDDING. THAT DOESN'T LOOK SUSPICIOUS AT ALL.

[27/07/2012 03:24:50] John {Kat!}: man, the law seriously denies the existance of the slime river.

[27/07/2012 03:25:15] Karkat || Vena: HOW COULD THEY EVEN THINK IT MIGHT NOT BE REAL?

[27/07/2012 03:25:46] John {Kat!}: it's pretty dumb. there's ghost evidence all over the place.

[27/07/2012 03:25:58] Karkat || Vena: NO KIDDING! WHAT ABOUT ALL THE SHIT THAT HAPPENED FIVE YEARS AGO?

[27/07/2012 03:26:34] John {Kat!}: didn't anyone see the stay puff marshmallow man!

[27/07/2012 03:27:04] Karkat || Vena: EXACTLY! HE WAS PRETTY FUCKING HUGE AND DEFINITELY HARD TO MISS!

[27/07/2012 03:28:04] John {Kat!}: hahahha, he's the best.

[27/07/2012 03:37:49] John {Kat!}: oh noooooooo.

[27/07/2012 03:37:54] John {Kat!}: shut up, judge.

[27/07/2012 03:38:10] Karkat || Vena: HOW IN THE HELL DID HE NOT SEE THAT?

[27/07/2012 03:38:39] Karkat || Vena: WELL THAT SURE SHOWED HIM.

[27/07/2012 03:39:33] John {Kat!}: man, ghostbusters back in action!!

[27/07/2012 03:39:57] John {Kat!}: karkat if we ever meet ghosts you and i should form a team like theirs.

[27/07/2012 03:40:03] John {Kat!}: only SEXIER.

[27/07/2012 03:40:13] Karkat || Vena: WAY SEXIER, DEFINITELY.

[27/07/2012 03:41:09] John {Kat!}: it will be like if ghostbusters crossed over with mr and mrs smith, haha.

[27/07/2012 03:42:28] Karkat || Vena: NOW THAT'S AN IDEA. THAT WOULD SURE AS HELL BE A GREAT MOVIE, AT ANY RATE.

[27/07/2012 03:43:35] Karkat || Vena: THAT WAS THE CHEESIEST COMMERCIAL I'VE EVER SEEN, HAHAHA.

[27/07/2012 03:43:38] John {Kat!}: sexy homosexual paranormal invesigator couple: the movie? count me in.

[27/07/2012 03:44:09] John {Kat!}: check it, that's my main man.

[27/07/2012 03:44:12] John {Kat!}: slimer ghost.

[27/07/2012 03:44:27] Karkat || Vena: I DIDN'T THINK HE'D BE IN THE SECOND ONE FOR SOME REASON.

[27/07/2012 03:45:57] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD.

[27/07/2012 03:45:59] John {Kat!}: omg.

[27/07/2012 03:46:25] John {Kat!}: he is loving the SHIT out of that slime.

[27/07/2012 03:47:35] Karkat || Vena: WHAT IS IT WITH THESE GUYS AND THEIR GHOSTS AND ECTO SLIME? IN THE FIRST ONE THE OTHER GUY AND IN THIS ONE JUST. WOW.

[27/07/2012 03:47:54] Karkat || Vena: THEY SURE DO LOVE THEIR JOBS. MAYBE A LITTLE TOO MUCH.

[27/07/2012 03:48:20] John {Kat!}: you underestimate the allure of the paranormal, karkat.

[27/07/2012 03:48:59] John {Kat!}: hmmmm, would i date a ghost...........

[27/07/2012 03:49:13] Karkat || Vena: OH RIGHT, MY BAD. BECAUSE I'D LOVE TO SLEEP WITH SLIME. THAT SOUNDS REAL ALLURING.

[27/07/2012 03:50:16] John {Kat!}: i dunno man! it could be pretty great.

[27/07/2012 03:50:39] Karkat || Vena: PRETTY GREAT? I WOULD ASK HOW BUT I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING KNOW.

[27/07/2012 03:50:49] John {Kat!}: it's definitely up there on my sexual fantasy list.

[27/07/2012 03:51:47] Karkat || Vena: HOLY SHIT. THAT MUST BE A PRETTY INTERESTING LIST YOU HAVE THERE THEN.

[27/07/2012 03:51:47] John {Kat!}: btw i am joking just in case it wasn't obvious.

[27/07/2012 03:52:25] Karkat || Vena: OH NO, I TOTALLY BELIEVED THAT YOUR NUMBER ONE SEXUAL FANTASY WAS TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY WITH SOME GHOSTLY SLIME. YOU'RE SICK, JOHN. SICK, SICK, SICK.

[27/07/2012 03:53:30] John {Kat!}: oops, you got me. i am not joking at all, it is a thing i ardently desire.

[27/07/2012 03:54:56] Karkat || Vena: WELL FUCK, YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

[27/07/2012 03:55:15] Karkat || Vena: BUT WOW, LOOK AT THOSE THREE. THEY BETTER GET TOGETHER AGAIN.

[27/07/2012 03:55:33] John {Kat!}: hahahaha. of course.

[27/07/2012 03:55:52] John {Kat!}: they're a pretty cute couple and it is a shame they didn't work out the first time round.

[27/07/2012 03:57:26] Karkat || Vena: EXACTLY! AND JUST LOOK AT HOW MUCH HE LIKES THE BABY!

[27/07/2012 03:57:52] Karkat || Vena: WOW, HE IS THE MOST OVER THE TOP GUY I HAVE EVER SEEN.

[27/07/2012 03:58:03] John {Kat!}: they'd make a pretty adorable family, right?

[27/07/2012 03:58:17] John {Kat!}: he was trying to get a rouse out of it, dummy.

[27/07/2012 03:58:22] John {Kat!}: like the feeling-slime.

[27/07/2012 03:59:49] Karkat || Vena: OF COURSE. BUT STILL, THAT WAS ONLY ONE INSTANCE. EVERYTHING HE DOES IS OVER THE TOP.

[27/07/2012 04:00:35] Karkat || Vena: UGH, DON'T LEAVE THE KID ALONE WITH THIS LADY, THE MOMENT THEY LEAVE IT'S OBVIOUS SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

[27/07/2012 04:01:02] John {Kat!}: well, yeah. that is what makes him funny!

[27/07/2012 04:01:49] Karkat || Vena: WHO INVITES DATES TO BABYSIT? I THOUGHT THAT WAS ONLY A TEENAGER THING? JESUS CHRIST.

[27/07/2012 04:01:54] John {Kat!}: loads of the commedians you like are over the top, too.

[27/07/2012 04:02:36] John {Kat!}: how about if you ever get a babysitting job you invite me over just to make sure you don't fuck up too badly?

[27/07/2012 04:03:03] Karkat || Vena: OH LIKE I WOULD FUCK UP SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS BABYSITTING! IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD, RIGHT?

[27/07/2012 04:03:25] John {Kat!}: and then we can make out on the couch once the kids go to bed. it will be perfect!

[27/07/2012 04:03:38] John {Kat!}: the parents will probably not even suspect.

[27/07/2012 04:05:24] Karkat || Vena: OH, OF COURSE NOT. WHAT IF THEY COME IN WHILE WE ARE DOING THIS HYPOTHETICAL MAKING OUT?

[27/07/2012 04:05:44] Karkat || Vena: NO FLAWS IN THIS PLAN AT ALL!

[27/07/2012 04:05:50 | Edited 04:05:56] John {Kat!}: i will just jump off you real quick, duh.

[27/07/2012 04:06:51] Karkat || Vena: OH RIGHT, RIGHT. PERFECT.

[27/07/2012 04:07:17] Karkat || Vena: THEY WOULD NEVER SUSPECT!

[27/07/2012 04:08:03] Karkat || Vena: GHOST TRAIN, OF COURSE.

[27/07/2012 04:08:05] John {Kat!}: no way! i think what with us both being dudes they wouldn't suspect in the first place.

[27/07/2012 04:08:07] John {Kat!}: yeeeeeeeeees.

[27/07/2012 04:08:29] John {Kat!}: that did look pretty fucking terrifying. as did those heads from before.

[27/07/2012 04:09:30] Karkat || Vena: GOOD POINT. OKAY, YOU'VE CONVINCED ME. IF I EVER GET INVITED TO BABYSIT, YOU'RE DEFINITELY COMING WITH ME.

[27/07/2012 04:10:37] John {Kat!}: sweet. you can come with me if i ever get a job, too.

[27/07/2012 04:11:20 | Edited 04:11:40] Karkat || Vena: THIS IS THE BEST TELLING OF SNOW WHITE I'VE EVER HEARD.

[27/07/2012 04:11:52] John {Kat!}: her dress is nice, though.

[27/07/2012 04:12:37] John {Kat!}: though wow "i think motherhood i a natural instinct" is the worst pickup line.

[27/07/2012 04:12:54] Karkat || Vena: HOLY FUCK, THAT MAKES THE OTHER GUY LOOK LIKE A GREAT FLIRT.

[27/07/2012 04:13:39] John {Kat!}: i'm pretty sure it'd scare most dudes right off, hahaha.

[27/07/2012 04:15:27] Karkat || Vena: THEY WEREN'T EVEN WATCHING THE BABY.

[27/07/2012 04:15:43] Karkat || Vena: FUCK, I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

[27/07/2012 04:15:52] John {Kat!}: the baby was sleeping!

[27/07/2012 04:15:57] John {Kat!}: but yeah, man.

[27/07/2012 04:16:17] Karkat || Vena: WELL THEY NEVER EVEN WENT IN TO CHECK ON HIM. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO?

[27/07/2012 04:16:40] John {Kat!}: yeah ok that was pretty crappy of them.

[27/07/2012 04:17:03] John {Kat!}: when we are the babysitters we will do better.

[27/07/2012 04:17:14] John {Kat!}: both sexy AND responsible.

[27/07/2012 04:17:34] Karkat || Vena: YES, WE'LL BE THE BEST BABYSITTING DUO THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.

[27/07/2012 04:18:59] Karkat || Vena: STRAIGHTJACKETS? REALLY?

[27/07/2012 04:19:08] John {Kat!}: ugh, noooo.

[27/07/2012 04:19:14] Karkat || Vena: WELL THE WHOLE CITY IS TOTALLY FUCKED NOW.

[27/07/2012 04:19:24 | Edited 04:19:36] John {Kat!}: why do people never believe them?????

[27/07/2012 04:19:44] Karkat || Vena: ESPECIALLY AFTER THEY'VE SEEN GHOSTS?

[27/07/2012 04:20:32] John {Kat!}: oh man, that guy's so gross.

[27/07/2012 04:20:50] John {Kat!}: so karkat, do YOU love horses?

[27/07/2012 04:21:08] Karkat || Vena: OH, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM, HOW DID YOU KNOW?

[27/07/2012 04:21:40] Karkat || Vena: NO NO NO NO!

[27/07/2012 04:22:22] John {Kat!}: i think they're kind of cool, i guess.

[27/07/2012 04:22:30] John {Kat!}: oh, shit!

[27/07/2012 04:23:51] Karkat || Vena: FUCK, WHY? AND THESE GUYS ARE STUCK HERE AND CAN'T DO ANYTHING!

[27/07/2012 04:24:32] John {Kat!}: it's so great how you get invested in like every movie, oh my god.

[27/07/2012 04:24:57] Karkat || Vena: WELL IT'S HARD NOT TO WHEN BABIES AND KIDS ARE IN TROUBLE!

[27/07/2012 04:26:20] John {Kat!}: hehehe, true enough! but still.

[27/07/2012 04:27:02] John {Kat!}: it's pretty freaking adorable.

[27/07/2012 04:28:02] Karkat || Vena: *gives him a slight shove* OH, SHUT UP.

[27/07/2012 04:29:33] Karkat || Vena: WELL AT LEAST ALL THESE SKEPTICS BELIEVE IN GHOSTS NOW! TOO FUCKING LATE, OF COURSE.

[27/07/2012 04:29:39] John {Kat!}: heh, never. *kicks him a little again*

[27/07/2012 04:31:01] Karkat || Vena: THIS GUY, HOLY SHIT.

[27/07/2012 04:31:29] John {Kat!}: yeah, what a creep.

[27/07/2012 04:32:51] John {Kat!}: talk about the worst marriage proposal ever.

[27/07/2012 04:33:01] John {Kat!}: worse even than "we're the same species".

[27/07/2012 04:33:49] Karkat || Vena: YEAH, DEFINITELY. AND THAT WAS A SHITTY MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. THIS ONE JUST TOO THE ICING OFF THE CAKE.

[27/07/2012 04:35:19] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD.

[27/07/2012 04:36:22] John {Kat!}: i think they're kind of an attrative couple!

[27/07/2012 04:36:29] John {Kat!}: in a way.

[27/07/2012 04:36:55] Karkat || Vena: NO, I CAN AGREE WITH THAT. THEY DEFINITELY HAVE SOME ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THEM.

[27/07/2012 04:38:00] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD THIS GHOST AGAIN.

[27/07/2012 04:38:40] John {Kat!}: when the baby was merging it looked kind of like those make your own baby websites.

[27/07/2012 04:38:52] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD, IT REALLY DID.

[27/07/2012 04:40:26] Karkat || Vena: DON'T LEAVE THE BABY ALONE!!!

[27/07/2012 04:41:46] Karkat || Vena: NOOO!

[27/07/2012 04:42:43] John {Kat!}: they sure to like to diss new york in this movie. is it that bad?

[27/07/2012 04:43:38 | Edited 04:44:02] Karkat || Vena: NO KIDDING, HAHAHA. MAYBE IT IS? I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE MYSELF.

[27/07/2012 04:44:24] John {Kat!}: vriska is from new york, i think?

[27/07/2012 04:44:38] Karkat || Vena: WELL THEN IT REALLY MUST BE THAT TERRIBLE.

[27/07/2012 04:44:43] John {Kat!}: she usually says it's pretty gr8, too.

[27/07/2012 04:44:52] John {Kat!}: though she says that about everything.

[27/07/2012 04:45:05] John {Kat!}: hehehehe, shoosh. vriska's not so-

[27/07/2012 04:45:14] John {Kat!}: well okay she pretty much is that bad. haha.

[27/07/2012 04:46:33] Karkat || Vena: THANK YOU. AT LEAST YOU COULD ADMIT IT-

[27/07/2012 04:46:42] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD THAT PAINTING.

[27/07/2012 04:47:09] John {Kat!}: it's a great painting.

[27/07/2012 04:47:27] Karkat || Vena: A GHOSTBUSTERS RAP.

[27/07/2012 04:47:29] Karkat || Vena: OH MY GOD.

[27/07/2012 04:47:30] John {Kat!}: but see, don't you think it was just as good as the first if not better???

[27/07/2012 04:48:33] Karkat || Vena: IT HAD A CHARM TO IT, SURE. IF I HAD TO PICK BETWEEN THE TWO YOU'RE RIGHT, I THINK THIS ONE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE BETTER THAN THE FIRST.

[27/07/2012 04:48:35] John {Kat!}: don't you love how slimer is credited? :D

[27/07/2012 04:48:50] Karkat || Vena: BUT WOW THAT SLIME SHIT WAS REALLY DISGUSTING.

[27/07/2012 04:48:56] John {Kat!}: yeeeeeees. this is why i love you.

[27/07/2012 04:51:19] Karkat || Vena: OH, JUST SHUT UP. *gives him another playful shove* BUT YOU KNOW, THEY DIDN'T GIVE ANY CLOSURE ON THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THOSE TWO! THERE ISN'T A GHOSTBUSTERS 3, IS THERE?

[27/07/2012 04:53:04] John {Kat!}: nope! :(

[27/07/2012 04:53:42] Karkat || Vena: SO THAT NEVER GETS RESOLVED? WE NEVER GET TO FIND OUT IF THEY RAISE OSCAR TOGETHER? HOW COULD THEY LEAVE A LOOSE END LIKE THAT??

[27/07/2012 04:54:24] John {Kat!}: there are rumors about a third film, but yeah. we never find out.

[27/07/2012 04:54:35] John {Kat!}: unless you get into like, the expanded universe.

[27/07/2012 04:54:49] John {Kat!}: y'know, there were cartoons. video games.

[27/07/2012 04:55:13] Karkat || Vena: HOLY SHIT, REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

[27/07/2012 04:55:49] Karkat || Vena: WELL, IF IT WAS NEVER ADDRESSED IN ANY OF THAT STUFF EITHER, I'M JUST GONE TO SAY THEY GOT MARRIED AND RAISED THE BABY TOGETHER. THE END.

[27/07/2012 04:57:24] John {Kat!}: okay, that is what i like to think, too.

[27/07/2012 04:57:34] John {Kat!}: they were so cute together, after all.

[27/07/2012 04:57:47] Karkat || Vena: EXACTLY! AND HE GOT ALONG WITH THE BABY FANTASTICALLY.

[27/07/2012 04:57:59] Karkat || Vena: THEY WERE DEFINITELY MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.

[27/07/2012 05:01:27] John {Kat!}: pfft, probably.

[27/07/2012 05:01:48 | Edited 05:01:55] John {Kat!}: you always go on about people being "meant for each other" and it is another thing that is adorable.

[27/07/2012 05:05:37] Karkat || Vena: COME ON, THERE'S NO WAY IT'S CUTE. I'M JUST STATING FACTS! IT'S PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS TO ANYONE THAT HAS EYES THAT MOST OF THESE COUPLES ARE JUST REALLY GREAT FOR EACH OTHER.

[27/07/2012 05:06:32] John {Kat!}: yeah, but you make it sound so overly romantic and sweet. it's definitely cute.

[27/07/2012 05:07:18] John {Kat!}: but you know! you are cute in general. *lightly bops him on the nose*

[27/07/2012 05:10:47] Karkat || Vena: *wrinkles his nose afterwords and gently flicks him on the forehead in retaliation* UGH, IF ONE OF US IS ADORABLE IT'S DEFINITELY YOU, GOT IT? YOU GET SO EXCITED ABOUT THE DUMBEST LITTLE THINGS AND YOUR BIG DOPEY GRIN IS WAY TOO FUCKING CUTE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

[27/07/2012 05:13:14] John {Kat!}: no no no, you're the one with the great smile! it doesn't come out that often either so  when it does it's like wow, awesome, a karkat smile.

[27/07/2012 05:13:22] John {Kat!}: they are rare and beautiful things!

[27/07/2012 05:18:26] Karkat || Vena: *smiles just a tiny bit and gives him another shove* MY SMILE'S LIKE A RARE ANIMAL, JOHN. THOUGH DEFINITELY NOT AS RARE AS THEY ONCE WERE. YOU'RE SLOWLY BRINGING THE ONCE-ENDANGERED SPECIES OF KARKATICUS SMILIUS BACK FROM THE BRINK OF EXTINCTION. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF!

[27/07/2012 05:20:01] John {Kat!}: i am so proud. like, in total seriousness! it is an honor because your smile is totally perfect in every way.

[27/07/2012 05:20:46] John {Kat!}: and it really is nice to see you doing it more often. haha.

[27/07/2012 05:23:46] Karkat || Vena: *puffs his cheeks out slightly and tries to hide the slight rednes in his face* UGH, THESE COMPLIMENTS ARE TOO MUCH! SERIOUSLY THOUGH, YOU CAN'T JUST SIT HERE AND COMPLIMENT MY DOOFY GRIN AND NOT EXPECT ME TO COMPLIMENT YOURS BACK. SURE, IT'S NOT EVEN REMOTELY DIFFICULT TO GET YOU TO SMILE, BUT THAT'S NICE. THAT JUST MEANS I GET TO SEE YOURS A HELL OF A LOT, AND I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH THAT, HAHA.

[27/07/2012 05:26:59] John {Kat!}: i'm glad me smiling a lot does you such a great service! because sometimes my face kind of hurts from grinning too much after seeing you, hehe. it's particularlay easy for you in particular to get me to smile, obviously. at least it's appreciated!

[27/07/2012 05:41:09] Karkat || Vena: IT IS DEEPLY APPRECIATED. NEVER STOP SMILING, OKAY? HUH, CAN YOUR MUSCLES STICK LIKE THAT? BECAUSE I SWEAR, IF THEY CAN BEING AROUND YOU SO MUCH MIGHT MAKE MY FACE GET STUCK IN A STUPID GRIN. AND IT WOULD BE ALL YOUR FAULT.

[27/07/2012 05:44:54] John {Kat!}: i dunno! i hope so because that would be pretty awesome.

[27/07/2012 05:45:15] John {Kat!}: and okay, before things get any sappier here i think we'd better head to bed!

[27/07/2012 05:48:07] Karkat || Vena: YEAH, IF WE DON'T GO TO SLEEP NOW WE MIGHT WIND UP DROWNING IN ALL OF THIS SAP.

[27/07/2012 05:49:05] John {Kat!}: yup! and we really wouldn't want that, as nice as a death as it may be.

[27/07/2012 05:49:23] John {Kat!}: do not forget, my ghost would haunt your ass.

[27/07/2012 05:49:30] John {Kat!}: in the sexiest possible way.

[27/07/2012 05:50:21] Karkat || Vena: WELL SHIT, MY ASS HAD BETTER WATCH OUT THEN! NOT LIKE YOU DON'T HAUNT MY ASS WHILE YOU'RE ALIVE ANYWAYS, HAHAHA.

[27/07/2012 05:50:48] John {Kat!}: it's only haunting if you're a ghost, karkat!

[27/07/2012 05:50:56] John {Kat!}: this is just regular stalkin'.

[27/07/2012 05:52:29] Karkat || Vena: WELL FUCK, IF IT'S STALKING THEN YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL, LEST MY BUTT PULL OUT A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU! THOUGH MY BUTT IS CURRENTLY GOING TO DRAG ITSELF OVER TO YOUR BED. IT COULD PROBABLY HOLD OF ON FILING ALL THAT DOCUMENTATION UNTIL MORNING.

[27/07/2012 05:53:28] John {Kat!}: if you butt pulls out a restraining order on me i will cry so much.

[27/07/2012 05:53:59] John {Kat!}: also i like how this conversation is about your butt now. i didn't even litterally mean your ass.

[27/07/2012 05:54:44] John {Kat!}: though thinking about it, most haunting will definetely be centered around the butt-region.

[27/07/2012 05:55:17] John {Kat!}: okay wow let's go to bed. *slides off the couch and drags himself over*

[27/07/2012 05:56:25] Karkat || Vena: DOESN'T EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAVE SEEM TO END UP ON THE TOPIC OF BUTTS? MY BUTT IN PARTICULAR? I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ASS-HAUNTING YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. *quickly follows suit, rolling up next to him* BUT ENOUGH BUTTS FOR NOW. GOOD NIGHT, JOHN.

[27/07/2012 05:58:14] John {Kat!}: *snuggles up next to him, quietly sneaking in a brief assgrab* heh, you should be. goodnight, karkat!

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

movie night 25: no strings attached

John and Karkat watch another romcom: Karkat makes a joke about fucking John's dad, John decides to gift Karkat with a "congratulations" baloon when they eventually bang, and John lists which girls at school he'd pick for no string attached sex. Then they looks at John's baby photos, talk about MEETING THE PARENTS (John makes his dad sound super intimidating to mess with Karkat) and discuss the art of pranking. 

[21/06/2012 02:01:34] John Egbert: yo, moroncake. are you coming in?

[21/06/2012 02:02:46] Karkat Vantas: YEAH YEAH, STEP ASIDE AND GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WAY FUCKBREATH.

[21/06/2012 02:03:48] John Egbert: fuckbreath? ooh, that's a new one. *not making that much effort to get out of the way, annoying as ever*

[21/06/2012 02:05:13] Karkat Vantas: GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE NOTICED. *gives him a light smack on the shoulder with a dvd case* WELL? ARE WE GOING TO WATCH THIS OR JUST STAND IN THE DOORWAY ALL NIGHT?

[21/06/2012 02:07:10 | Edited 02:07:15] John Egbert: of course i noticed! your nicknames are the sexiest. *grins and swipes the dvd, putting it in the player* so, what's this piece of shit you brought this week?

[21/06/2012 02:08:41] Karkat Vantas: THIS "WONDERFUL MASTERPIECE" IS CALLED NO STRINGS ATTACHED. *takes a seat* AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THIS MOVIE IS GREAT, OKAY? DEFINITELY NOT A PIECE OF SHIT.

[21/06/2012 02:09:55] John Egbert: sure, sure. *scoots over and snuggles up to him.* hahaha, these guys are so awkward.

[21/06/2012 02:11:02] Karkat Vantas: JUST A BIT, YEAH. AND SHE'S WRONG OF COURSE, PEOPLE WERE DEFINITELY MADE TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER. *rests against him*

[21/06/2012 02:12:01] John Egbert: oh yeah, totally. maybe it doesn't work out for EVERYONE, but yeah.

[21/06/2012 02:12:10] John Egbert: is she the chick in star wars?

[21/06/2012 02:12:47] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, THAT'S THE SAME GIRL. NATALIE PORTMAN I THINK IS HER NAME?

[21/06/2012 02:13:01] John Egbert: yeah, she's pretty.

[21/06/2012 02:13:08] John Egbert: wow, what a first date.

[21/06/2012 02:13:19] Karkat Vantas: NO KIDDING. FUNERAL, WOW.

[21/06/2012 02:13:38] Karkat Vantas: AND JESUS, LOOK AT HIS SWEATER. HE OBVIOUSLY WASN'T PREPARED FOR THAT, HAHAHA.

[21/06/2012 02:13:57] John Egbert: fourteen? holy shit.

[21/06/2012 02:16:15] Karkat Vantas: AREN'T THESE COINCIDENCES GREAT? OR MAYBE THEY'RE NOT COINCIDENCES AT ALL.

[21/06/2012 02:16:43] John Egbert: oh yeah, of course. it's like in serendipity. pffffhahaha.

[21/06/2012 02:17:48] John Egbert: oh god, they're filming one of your godawful musicals.

[21/06/2012 02:18:04] John Egbert: or pop videos, maybe. shitty, either way.

[21/06/2012 02:18:31] Karkat Vantas: IT'S NOT GODAWFUL, JESUS FUCK. ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH ANOTHER MUSICAL FOR ME TO AGAIN TRY AND MAKE THIS POINT?

[21/06/2012 02:18:45] John Egbert: noooooooo thanks.

[21/06/2012 02:20:04] Karkat Vantas: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. I GUESS THE DEEP STORIES AND THE INTRICATE MUSICAL NUMBERS ARE JUST LOST ON AN IGNORAMUS LIKE YOU.

[21/06/2012 02:20:36] John Egbert: LOL! "deep stories".

[21/06/2012 02:21:00] John Egbert: right so, this guys a tv writer?

[21/06/2012 02:21:21] John Egbert: a failing one i guess, but that sounds like a cool job.

[21/06/2012 02:21:51] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, HE IS. I GUESS IT COULD BE INTERESTING ANYWAYS.

[21/06/2012 02:22:13] John Egbert: ew, what is it with these movies a horrible embarassing parents?

[21/06/2012 02:22:32] John Egbert: my dad starts giving me sex tips, i cut my ears off.

[21/06/2012 02:23:17 | Edited 02:23:34] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, NO THANKS. I'D RATHER JUST GOUGE OUT MY EAR DRUMS TO BE MORE EFFECTIVE.

[21/06/2012 02:23:25 | Edited 02:23:46] John Egbert: omg. if you hook up with my dad i'll murder you.

[21/06/2012 02:23:44] Karkat Vantas: HA HA HA HA, FUCK THAT.

[21/06/2012 02:24:05] John Egbert: no karkat. no fucking my dad, okay. :(

[21/06/2012 02:24:39] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY THAT HE FILLS OUT THAT HAT.

[21/06/2012 02:25:16] John Egbert: oh my god, no. stop. you've never even met him in person!

[21/06/2012 02:27:11] Karkat Vantas: YEAH YEAH, I CAN STOP HA HA HA. IT WAS WORTH IT TO SEE YOUR REACTION, THOUGH.

[21/06/2012 02:28:18] John Egbert: bluh, you suck. *elbows him in the rib*

[21/06/2012 02:28:32] John Egbert: and wow, she totally is pretty.

[21/06/2012 02:29:10] John Egbert: isn't he gonna put any underwear on?

[21/06/2012 02:30:06] Karkat Vantas: *nudges him back* THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION. THAT'S GOTTA BE FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE AS ALL HELL.

[21/06/2012 02:31:02] Karkat Vantas: NOT LIKE HE'S GONNA NEED THEM FOR LONG, I GUESS.

[21/06/2012 02:31:04] John Egbert: ugh, what a waste of time even putting them on.

[21/06/2012 02:32:04] John Egbert: *kind of red in the face, trying not to be too silly about it.*

[21/06/2012 02:33:03] John Egbert: karkat, i swear to god you watch the raunchiest shit.

[21/06/2012 02:34:57] Karkat Vantas: *is also kind of red, giving him another nudge* OH COME ON, THAT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT THE MAIN REASON I WATCH THESE FILMS. THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER THINGS SURROUNDING THOSE SCENES. AND THEY HELP BUILD UP THE CHARACTERS' RELATIONSHIPS, ANYWAYS.

[21/06/2012 02:35:56 | Edited 02:36:10] John Egbert: oh yeah, the overly prolonged sexy sex is totally needed for building up the relationship.

[21/06/2012 02:37:05] John Egbert: friends WITH BENEFITS.

[21/06/2012 02:38:00] Karkat Vantas: IT IS! JUST LOOK AT HIM, HE'S STARTING TO TREAT HER DIFFERENTLY NOW, DESPITE THE FACT THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP. *gives him a slight shove* AND BESIDES, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS OFTEN EVOLVE INTO A RELATIONSHIP.

[21/06/2012 02:38:31] John Egbert: i think a baloon's awesome. i'm totally getting you one next time we climb a rung on the boyfriend ladder.

[21/06/2012 02:39:21] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD, WHAT KIND OF BALLOON? IF IT'S CONGRATS I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU.

[21/06/2012 02:39:38] John Egbert: yeah, i guess! did with dane cook, anyway. not like i'd know much about it.

[21/06/2012 02:39:44] John Egbert: it totally will be.

[21/06/2012 02:40:12] John Egbert: or do you want, "sorry for your loss"? lol!

[21/06/2012 02:40:20] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD.

[21/06/2012 02:40:33] John Egbert: wait, you don't get baloons for that.

[21/06/2012 02:41:25] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, THOSE ARE SITUATIONS THAT YOU USUALLY GET A CARD RATHER THAN A BALLOON. BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

[21/06/2012 02:42:42] John Egbert: maybe i'll get both? i dunno, i like the idea of a congratulations baloon.

[21/06/2012 02:42:53] John Egbert: no staring deeply into each others eyes? lame.

[21/06/2012 02:43:46 | Edited 02:44:15] Karkat Vantas: GOD, I MIGHT HAVE TO BEAT YOU WITH SAID BALLOON IF THIS REALLY HAPPENS.

[21/06/2012 02:44:09] John Egbert: oh yeah, that'll be really painful.

[21/06/2012 02:44:32 | Edited 02:44:40] Karkat Vantas: THOUGH IT'D PROBABLY POP BEFORE DOING ANY REALY DAMAGE, YOU'D BE FINE.

[21/06/2012 02:45:01] John Egbert: and bluh, sex friends seems so pointless, haha.

[21/06/2012 02:45:34] John Egbert: like, why even bother?

[21/06/2012 02:45:50] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY. YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT SORT OF THING UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR THE OTHER PERSON.

[21/06/2012 02:46:15] Karkat Vantas: THOUGH IT'S OBVIOUS HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER, HE'S NOT EVEN VERY GOOD AT HIDING IT.

[21/06/2012 02:46:24] John Egbert: well, i wouldn't say "shouldn't"! but it does seem kinda dumb to me.

[21/06/2012 02:47:25] Karkat Vantas: I THINK IT'D HOLD A PERSON BACK FROM FINDING WHO THEY REALLY WANT TO BE WITH IS ALL I'M SAYING.

[21/06/2012 02:48:20] John Egbert: yeah, probably! like if you ran into somebody it'd be so weird courting them with some other girl on the side, hah.

[21/06/2012 02:49:12] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY. AND I HIGHLY DOUBT THE GIRL YOU'RE COURTING WOULD STICK AROUND FOR LONG IF THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS FRIEND WITH BENEFITS, EITHER. I KNOW I SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T.

[21/06/2012 02:50:39] John Egbert: i probably wouldn't either. not that i'll ever end up in that position, hopefully.

[21/06/2012 02:50:59] John Egbert: and wow, twenty two does seem kind of young!

[21/06/2012 02:51:52] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, HOPEFULLY. DON'T GO MAKING ANY TOO TERRIBLY CLOSE FRIENDS, NOW.

[21/06/2012 02:51:55] John Egbert: oh my GOD.

[21/06/2012 02:52:10] Karkat Vantas: THAT IS THE MOST AWKWARD KIND OF MIX EVER. JESUS FUCK.

[21/06/2012 02:52:33] John Egbert: oh man, i dunno. me and vriska might totally be gonna go down that route.

[21/06/2012 02:53:48] Karkat Vantas: THAT BETTER BE A FUCKING JOKE. I MEAN VRISKA OF ALL PEOPLE? THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

[21/06/2012 02:54:27] John Egbert: come on, vriska would totally be my first choice. hahahahhahahaha.

[21/06/2012 02:54:34] John Egbert: or roxy, maybe?

[21/06/2012 02:55:08] Karkat Vantas: YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE A FIRST CHOICE FOR THAT, HOLY SHIT! *gives him a nudge*

[21/06/2012 02:55:16] John Egbert: *strokes an imaginary beard in mock deep throught*

[21/06/2012 02:55:55 | Edited 02:56:06] John Egbert: *nudges him back* oh man, you don't want to hear my whole list?

[21/06/2012 02:56:57] Karkat Vantas: YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE LIST. WOW. DO I EVEN VENTURE FAR ENOUGH TO HEAR IT?

[21/06/2012 02:58:15] John Egbert: well, i don't actually keep one!

[21/06/2012 02:58:21] John Egbert: ...or do i?

[21/06/2012 02:59:12] Karkat Vantas: *rolls his eyes* IF YOU DO, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, HA HA HA.

[21/06/2012 02:59:24] John Egbert: wow, what the hell?

[21/06/2012 02:59:33] John Egbert: i don't have one, omg.

[21/06/2012 03:00:30] John Egbert: why the heck would i? i'm basically not interested in anyone else at all.

[21/06/2012 03:00:56] John Egbert: like, ever.

[21/06/2012 03:01:56] Karkat Vantas: I WOULD FUCKING HOPE NOT AT ANY RATE. *gives him a quick kiss on the cheek* LIKE, EVER? REALLY? THAT SEEMS LIKE AN AWFULLY LONG TIME.

[21/06/2012 03:04:35] John Egbert: oh uh. yeah, pretty much! i mean, i don't see it. but i could be wrong i guess.

[21/06/2012 03:06:10] John Egbert: wow, his workplace is so nice. i want a job with nice coworkers when i'm older. hopefully.

[21/06/2012 03:07:13] Karkat Vantas: LIKE EVER SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. BECAUSE I REALLY COULDN'T SEE MYSELF WITH ANYONE BESIDES YOU. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

[21/06/2012 03:07:54] John Egbert: good, me too. total love of my life.

[21/06/2012 03:09:10] John Egbert: like besides if i was ever with somebody else that would mean you were too and so it'd suck like, twice as much.

[21/06/2012 03:10:21] John Egbert: his ex girlfriend is fucking weird, btw.

[21/06/2012 03:11:12] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, NO KIDDING. THAT WOULD REALLY SUCK A LOT. LET'S JUST AGREE THAT IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, HA HA.

[21/06/2012 03:11:45] Karkat Vantas: AND YEAH, NO KIDDING. WHY WOULD YOU BE ATTRACTED TO YOUR BOYFRIEND'S DAD LIKE THAT? NATALIE REALLY STUCK IT TO THEM.

[21/06/2012 03:12:25] John Egbert: natalie's kickass. his dad's a douchenozzle.

[21/06/2012 03:12:43] John Egbert: awww. come on natalie, go for it.

[21/06/2012 03:13:06] Karkat Vantas: NO FLOWERS? OBVIOUSLY SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A PROPER DATE.

[21/06/2012 03:14:17] John Egbert: yeah, even we did better than this for a first date and ours wasn't even a proper one.

[21/06/2012 03:15:11] Karkat Vantas: A MINI GOLF DATE. CLASSIC.

[21/06/2012 03:16:06] John Egbert: yeah, mini golf's kind of cute i guess.

[21/06/2012 03:16:10] Karkat Vantas: THERE IS NO HUMANLY POSSIBLE WAY ANYONE IS THAT GOOD AT MINI GOLF IN REAL LIFE.

[21/06/2012 03:16:27] John Egbert: yeeees, milkshakes.

[21/06/2012 03:16:56] Karkat Vantas: YES, A GREAT CHOICE ON ANY DATE FOR SURE.

[21/06/2012 03:17:06] John Egbert: oh shit, too early, dude.

[21/06/2012 03:17:30] John Egbert: ESPECIALLY with someone as blatantly commitment-phobic as her.

[21/06/2012 03:18:28] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY. JUST LISTEN TO HER. SHE JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THOSE FEELINGS.

[21/06/2012 03:19:33] Karkat Vantas: IT'S KIND OF SAD, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. ESPECIALLY WHEN BY HER ACTIONS IT'S OBVIOUS SHE HAS FEELINGS FOR HIM IN RETURN. SHE JUST DOESN'T SEE IT OR KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

[21/06/2012 03:20:14] John Egbert: yeah, poor girl. i think it's fear, kind of? like she knows relationships are difficult and she's scared of taking that risk?

[21/06/2012 03:22:31] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, IT'S A PRETTY BIG STEP AFTER ALL. USUALLY, ANYWAYS. ESPECIALLY FOR HER, IT SEEMS. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY HURT IN THE PAST TO ACT THE WAY SHE DOES NOW.

[21/06/2012 03:22:41] John Egbert: oh shit, the rival girl's showing up.

[21/06/2012 03:23:35] John Egbert: he's going to try being with her and realise he just can't, etc.

[21/06/2012 03:23:56] Karkat Vantas: THOUGH SHE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME SPARK. MAN, THEIR CHEMISTRY WAS AWFUL. THAT EXCHANGE WAS ALMOST PAINFUL.

[21/06/2012 03:25:24] John Egbert: tell me about it! awkward stuff it's really all that cute, i think couples being all natural around each other and stuff is the most romantic.

[21/06/2012 03:26:25] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY. IT'S THE ONES THAT CAN BE TOTALLY NATURAL WITH THE OTHER PERSON THAT SHOWS JUST HOW WELL SUITED THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER.

[21/06/2012 03:26:40] John Egbert: god, these shitty high school musicals. so lame.

[21/06/2012 03:27:03] Karkat Vantas: THEY'RE NOT SHITTY! I'M SURE THE WHOLE THING WAS GREAT.

[21/06/2012 03:27:14] John Egbert: yeah! especailly if its like, right from the start chemistry. aww.

[21/06/2012 03:27:40] John Egbert: yeah, you'd probably love to get your hands on that dumb script.

[21/06/2012 03:28:13] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY. AND JUST LISTEN TO HER, SHE'S JUST ALL AROUND KIND OF AWKWARD.

[21/06/2012 03:28:34] Karkat Vantas: MAYBE I WOULD! I'M SURE THE WRITING WAS DECENT AND THAT MUSICAL NUMBER DIDN'T LOOK HALF BAD.

[21/06/2012 03:29:42] John Egbert: he's like, the opposite of you.

[21/06/2012 03:30:21] John Egbert: tall and happy, hahhaha.

[21/06/2012 03:30:37] John Egbert: shit, answer! :(

[21/06/2012 03:31:18] Karkat Vantas: OH HA HA, THAT'S HILARIOUS. *gives him a shove*

[21/06/2012 03:31:52] Karkat Vantas: OUCH.

[21/06/2012 03:32:00] John Egbert: oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. ouch.

[21/06/2012 03:32:41] John Egbert: *shoves him back* yeah, you're probably out of luck for being a romcom hero.

[21/06/2012 03:33:14] John Egbert: you don't really get angry midgets in them.

[21/06/2012 03:34:03] Karkat Vantas: FUCK OFF, I'M NOT THAT SHORT ALRIGHT? *nudges him with his elbow* OH, BUT YOU'RE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE. TALL AND HAPPY? I THINK YOU'D FIT RIGHT IN!

[21/06/2012 03:34:56] John Egbert: oh man, that basically explains why you find me so attractive. the romcom heroism in me.

[21/06/2012 03:37:34] Karkat Vantas: I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU! HOW COULD I NOT HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE NOW? IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ASHTON KUTCHER, EXCEPT NOT AS GENERALLY FROWNED UPON BY SOCIETY. AND BETTER LOOKING.

[21/06/2012 03:38:19] John Egbert: better looking? seriously? hahaha, wow.

[21/06/2012 03:41:17] Karkat Vantas: YES, BETTER LOOKING. THEN ASHTON! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

[21/06/2012 03:43:07] Karkat Vantas: TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN. THOUGH HIS DAD'S A DOUCHE CANOE HE'S LEARNED TO GIVE GOOD ADVICE.

[21/06/2012 03:43:27] John Egbert: yeah, thank god. hahahah.

[21/06/2012 03:43:46] John Egbert: and wow, i'm flattered! pffft. *kisses his cheek*

[21/06/2012 03:45:09] John Egbert: oh man. see she's kind of like i was?

[21/06/2012 03:46:06] Karkat Vantas: APART FROM THE WHOLE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS THING, SHE KIND OF WAS.

[21/06/2012 03:46:26] Karkat Vantas: GOD, THESE TWO. JUST LISTEN TO THEM. THEY WORK SO WELL TOGETHER.

[21/06/2012 03:47:07] John Egbert: hahaha, the thing at the end there just totally rang a few bells.

[21/06/2012 03:47:31] John Egbert: and yes, they do. they're a pretty good couple, actually. i expected worse.

[21/06/2012 03:47:59] Karkat Vantas: YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THAT IN THE MOVIES I PICK. NEARLY ALL HAVE FLAWLESS CHEMISTRY.

[21/06/2012 03:48:05] John Egbert: i always expect the worst, though.

[21/06/2012 03:48:36] Karkat Vantas: AND HE'S DATING THE EX AGAIN. WHAT A FANTASTIC DAD. SOMEONE SHOULD GIVE HIM A FUCKING MEDAL.

[21/06/2012 03:49:08] John Egbert: year, like reverse dad of the year.

[21/06/2012 03:49:14] John Egbert: anti-dad of the year.

[21/06/2012 03:49:54] Karkat Vantas: HE'D WIN IT EVERY YEAR. THOUGH HE MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TO COMPETE WITH DANE COOK'S DAD FROM MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL. I FEEL LIKE THEY MIGHT GET ALONG.

[21/06/2012 03:50:39] John Egbert: probably, yeah! like i said, douchy parents are a kind of running theme in your movies.

[21/06/2012 03:50:51] John Egbert: or at least, embarassing ones.

[21/06/2012 03:51:54] Karkat Vantas: WELL WE'VE GOTTA FACE THE FACTS THAT MOST PARENTS ARE PRETTY EMBARRASSING ANYWAYS. THE FILMS JUST BLOW IT OUT OF PROPORTION FOR COMEDIC EFFECT, HONESTLY. AND ALSO TO MAKE YOU MORE THANKFUL THAT YOUR OWN PARENTS AREN'T LIKE THAT.

[21/06/2012 03:54:13] Karkat Vantas: I MEAN JESUS CHRIST IF MY DAD WAS ANYTHING LIKE SOME OF THESE SHITSTAINS I WOULD HAVE MENTALLY DETATCHED MYSELF FROM HIS PRESENCE YEARS AGO.

[21/06/2012 03:54:30] John Egbert: hahaha, they certainly leave me thinking my dad's not so bad.

[21/06/2012 03:54:52] John Egbert: if your dad was like that, i would be litterally terrified to meet him.

[21/06/2012 03:56:22] Karkat Vantas: IF MY DAD WERE LIKE THAT I'D PROBABLY NEVER INTRODUCE YOU. THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING MY PARENTS WOULD DO IS SHOW YOU BABY PICTURES. THEY'RE PRETTY HARMLESS, AND THIS IS SOMETHING I'M THANKFUL FOR EVERY DAY.

[21/06/2012 03:56:48] John Egbert: i've seen a bunch of pictures of you as a kid, anyway.

[21/06/2012 03:57:00] John Egbert: oh hey, wasn't i meant to show you some of mine? hehe.

[21/06/2012 03:57:40] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SHOW ME A FEW. AND I HAVE YET TO SEE ANY OF THEM. I'M STILL GOING TO HOLD YOU TO THAT, BY THE WAY.

[21/06/2012 03:58:55] John Egbert: okay. hold on! *digs out laptop* there's not much on here, but there's some elementary school pictures.

[21/06/2012 03:59:47] Karkat Vantas: THAT'S ALRIGHT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PICTURES, HUH? THESE I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE.

[21/06/2012 04:01:16] John Egbert: psssh, they're not that bad. *places it right on the edge of his lap so karkat can see.* okay, here's me in like third grade.

[21/06/2012 04:01:29] John Egbert: i had longer hair, haha.

[21/06/2012 04:02:50] Karkat Vantas: *stares down at the screen, grinning* WOW, LOOK AT YOU. AND YOUR HAIR! PLEASE TELL ME YOU AT LEAST BRUSHED IT BACK THEN, HA HA HA!

[21/06/2012 04:04:33] John Egbert: dad used to brush it for me most of the time, haha. anyway, it's not THAT long.

[21/06/2012 04:06:07] Karkat Vantas: EVEN IN THIRD GRADE? WOW, YOU MUST HAVE REALLY HAD AN AVERSION TO HAIR BRUSHING. *rustles his hair around a bit* IT WASN'T MUCH LONGER, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY A CHANGE FROM THIS, HA HA. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?

[21/06/2012 04:08:21] John Egbert: okay, let's seeee. there's some pictures of my with my kind of buddies. here's my 8th birthday, note the fucking MOUNTAIN of cake, ew.

[21/06/2012 04:11:07] Karkat Vantas: OH HOLY SHIT, THAT IS A FUCKTON OF CAKE. *looks a bit closer* DID YOUR DAD REALLY MAKE ALL OF THAT? WOW. HOW DID YOU EVER GET RID OF IT ALL?

[21/06/2012 04:12:42] John Egbert: i dunno, i think a lot of it got thrown away? or he ate it all, god forbid.

[21/06/2012 04:12:57] John Egbert: this happens EVERY YEAR, karkat. it kind of sucks!

[21/06/2012 04:13:43] John Egbert: oh hey, there's totally some todler pictures too. i was a hideous little kid, hahahaha.

[21/06/2012 04:15:17] Karkat Vantas: EVERY YEAR? HOW DOES HE FIND THE TIME TO BAKE ALL OF THAT SHIT? MY PARENTS DON'T EVEN BAKE MY BIRTHDAY CAKES, THEY USUALLY PICK THEM UP FROM THE SUPERMARKET. AND EVEN THEN WE USUALLY DON'T FINISH THE WHOLE THING!

[21/06/2012 04:15:48] Karkat Vantas: OH SHIT, YOU HAVE TODDLER PICTURES TOO? COME ON, YOU COULDN'T HAVE BEEN AS TERRIBLE AS I WAS BACK THEN, HA HA HA.

[21/06/2012 04:17:19] John Egbert: i dunno. i mean, damn, look at those teeth. they're bad now, but back then i looked terrifying.

[21/06/2012 04:18:08] John Egbert: and eh, dad is kind of a baking wizzard! i think he should run a bakery or something so he can put it to decent use instead of filling the house with his crap, but whatever.

[21/06/2012 04:19:50] Karkat Vantas: YOU'RE BLOWING IT WAY OUT OF PROPORTION, JOHN. JESUS CHRIST, THEY REALLY DON'T LOOK THAT BAD AT ALL, ALRIGHT? WHEN I WAS A TODDLER I'M SURPRISED MORE PEOPLE DIDN'T MISTAKE ME FOR A GHOST OR SOMETHING.

[21/06/2012 04:20:50] Karkat Vantas: OH WOW, HE DOESN'T HAVE A BAKERY? WITH THE AMOUNT OF CAKE HE SEEMS TO WHIP UP, HE SHOULD AT LEAST WORK PART TIME AT ONE. IF HE'S A "BAKING WIZARD" I'LL ASSUME HIS PASTRIES TASTE ALRIGHT?

[21/06/2012 04:21:55] John Egbert: yeah, they're good! though like i said, too many of them. i've kind of gone off them a little over the years, i guess?

[21/06/2012 04:22:16] John Egbert: and wow, you're supposed to be cooing over how adorable i was, you ass.

[21/06/2012 04:26:08] Karkat Vantas: I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. I'LL DEFINITELY HAVE TO TRY THIS CAKE SOMETIME TOO, IT'S GOTTA BE BETTER THAN THE SAME OLD DRY VANILLA CAKES FROM THE STORE FOR SURE.

[21/06/2012 04:27:49] John Egbert: maybe you'll get the chance sometime! well, you almost definetely will, assuming you want to meet dad eventually.

[21/06/2012 04:29:32] Karkat Vantas: AND OH FUCK, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. JUST LOOK AT YOU! I DON'T GET WHAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT YOUR TEETH THOUGH, THEY JUST MAKE YOU EVEN CUTER HAHAHA. GOD YOU WERE AN ADORABLE LITTLE SHIT WEREN'T YOU?

[21/06/2012 04:30:07] Karkat Vantas: WELL OF COURSE I WANT TO MEET YOUR DAD. HE SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY OKAY GUY. I MEAN HE RAISED YOU, DIDN'T HE? *grins as he gives him a playful nudge*

[21/06/2012 04:30:41] John Egbert: wait, i can't tell if you're being sincire or not! you're as bad as rose with sarcasm sometimes.

[21/06/2012 04:31:23] John Egbert: and yeah, he's okay i GUESS. when he's not being totally lame. but wow, meeting THE PARENT, huh?

[21/06/2012 04:31:57] John Egbert: if your romcoms are to believed, that's totally a big deal. you have to try and impress him and fail miserably, then wacky hijinks happen.

[21/06/2012 04:35:12] Karkat Vantas: I AM BEING COMPLETELY SINCERE HERE. YOU REALLY WERE A FAIRLY CUTE KID. A SHAME YOU DIDN'T KEEP THE LOOKS AS YOU AGED, THOUGH.

[21/06/2012 04:35:51] Karkat Vantas: WELL FUCK, WHAT IN THE HELL AM I GOING TO IMPRESS YOUR DAD WITH? I HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING ASIDE FROM PERHAPS SHOWING HIM HOW WIDE OF A RANGE MY VOCABULARY HAS, HA HA HA.

[21/06/2012 04:37:00] John Egbert: oh my god, please don't start swearing at my dad. that would be basically the worst!

[21/06/2012 04:37:18] John Egbert: he's kind of strict sometimes.

[21/06/2012 04:37:39] Karkat Vantas: IS THAT WACKY ENOUGH HIJINKS FOR YOU? SOUNDS LIKE ROMANTIC COMEDY GOLD HERE!

[21/06/2012 04:37:57] John Egbert: but aww, thanks, i guess! you were definetely cuter, though.

[21/06/2012 04:38:11] Karkat Vantas: BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS I WILL TONE IT DOWN AROUND YOUR DAD. AT FIRST, AT LEAST, HA HA.

[21/06/2012 04:38:14] John Egbert: oh maaaaaaan. it's everything i ever wanted.

[21/06/2012 04:40:20] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T THINK I'D AGREE ABOUT THAT. I'M SURPRISED I DIDN'T SHOW UP AS A FUCKING GLARE ON THE OLD PHOTOGRAPHS OF ME.

[21/06/2012 04:41:55] John Egbert: oh, don't start. you were a total cutie, case closed!

[21/06/2012 04:42:35] John Egbert: but yes you should definetely meet my dad at some point so he can assess you properly! heheh.

[21/06/2012 04:42:48] John Egbert: tell you you're not good enough to marry his son, etc.

[21/06/2012 04:45:03] Karkat Vantas: UGH, IF YOU SAY SO. AT LEAST AS I GOT OLDER I WAS ABLE TO CHANGE MY HAIR. I SHOULD HAVE DYED IT AGES AGO. BUT THAT'S ALL IN THE PAST AND TOTALLY NOT THE POINT HERE.

[21/06/2012 04:45:41] Karkat Vantas: NOT GOOD ENOUGH, HUH? SHIT, I MIGHT HAE TO TRY REALLY HARD TO CONVINCE HIM OTHERWISE! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS WHEN I MEET HIM IF THAT'S THE CASE!

[21/06/2012 04:48:54] John Egbert: all the stops, huh? can't wait for see what you got up your sleeve.

[21/06/2012 04:49:14] John Egbert: though btw, you hair looked fine white. really.

[21/06/2012 04:52:23] Karkat Vantas: I'VE STUDIED ENOUGH FILMS TO KNOW EXACTLY WHICH THINGS SHOULD IMPRESS YOUR DAD AND WHICH THINGS TO NOT FUCK UP ROYALLY. HOPEFULLY ANYWAYS. WOW, WHAT IF I TOTALLY SCREW THINGS OVER THOUGH? I DON'T WANT TO FALL SHORT. SHIT, WHAT KIND OF EXPECTATIONS DOES YOUR DAD HAVE?

[21/06/2012 04:53:29] Karkat Vantas: ...AND THANKS. A LOT. I'M SURE I'LL GET OVER THE HAIR SOMEDAY, HA HA.

[21/06/2012 04:54:24] John Egbert: aww, are you actually worried? that's adorable. but i dunno, really. it's not as if i ever really bring boyfriends home. lol!

[21/06/2012 04:55:56] John Egbert: you should probably wear a suit and tie, and call him "sir". you also have to talk about your deep and sincire feelings for me, and all that jazz. bring flowers, too!

[21/06/2012 04:56:09] John Egbert: and be all like, "beautiful house, mr egbert."

[21/06/2012 04:57:19] Karkat Vantas: A SUIT AND TIE, HUH? I HAVE THAT. I THINK THEY SHOULD STILL FIT, ANYWAYS. NOT LIKE I'VE GROWN ANY IN THE PAST TWO YEARS, UGH.

[21/06/2012 04:58:04] Karkat Vantas: SO BASICALLY BE SUPER POLITE AND COURTEOUS AND SPILL OUT ALL MY FEELINGS. SOUNDS LIKE A PIECE OF CAKE. METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING.

[21/06/2012 05:00:21] John Egbert: i'm joking! oh my god.

[21/06/2012 05:00:37 | Edited 05:00:43] John Egbert: just be yourself. but maybe a little less angry.

[21/06/2012 05:01:48] Karkat Vantas: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TAKING THIS ISSUE A BIT SERIOUSLY!

[21/06/2012 05:02:42] Karkat Vantas: BUT YEAH, I THINK I CAN DO THAT. I'LL ALSO TRY TO REASSES MY IMMENSE VOCABULARY AND REMOVE MOST INSULTS. NOT THAT I THINK THERE'D BE ANYONE AROUND TO INSULT BUT YOU, HA HA.

[21/06/2012 05:03:00] John Egbert: hahahahahahhaha, "issue". my dad's fine, kitkat. the only worry you have is like, a pie to the face.

[21/06/2012 05:04:53] Karkat Vantas: A PIE TO THE FACE? I GUESS THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I'VE EVER HAD TO WORRY ABOUT BEFORE. WELL FUCK, HOW DO YOU EVEN PREPARE FOR THAT?

[21/06/2012 05:05:56] John Egbert: you make sure it happens in as funny a way as it possibly can, duh.

[21/06/2012 05:06:20] John Egbert: and hey, that's true. i've barely pranked you at all! apart from psycological pranks.

[21/06/2012 05:06:41] John Egbert: omg what if our whole relationship was one big psycological prank??

[21/06/2012 05:06:45] John Egbert: LOL.

[21/06/2012 05:07:31] Karkat Vantas: DON'T YOU EVEN START THAT SHIT! *gives him a nudge* BUT NO, YOU HAVEN'T REALLY PRANKED ME. SHIT, DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO START?

[21/06/2012 05:08:19] John Egbert: ...maybe i will, maybe i won't. you're gonna have to WAIT AND SEE.

[21/06/2012 05:10:08] Karkat Vantas: WARNING! WARNING! PSYCHOLOGICAL BULLSHIT AHEAD! IF I SUDDENLY GET A PIE IN THE FACE TOMORROW I'M GOING TO BASH YOUR HEAD IN WITH THE TIN AFTERWORDS.

[21/06/2012 05:11:28] John Egbert: oh man, it'll be worth it.

[21/06/2012 05:11:43] John Egbert: besides, when are you EVER actually violent?

[21/06/2012 05:12:32] Karkat Vantas: WHO KNOWS? MAYBE I'M JUST TRYING TO LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY. WILL I STRIKE OUT? YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.

[21/06/2012 05:21:55] John Egbert: oh man, so basically using my own tactics against me? nice.

[21/06/2012 05:22:17] John Egbert: i think this raises your prankster's gambit a few points, hehehe.

[21/06/2012 05:25:16] Karkat Vantas: OF COURSE. I AM A MASTER OF MIND GAMES AND A FOUNTAIN OF REVERSE WARFARE. I'M SURE YOU MEAN MY GAMBIT HAS JUST BEEN BLOWN TO FUCKING SMITHEREENS.

[21/06/2012 05:28:40] John Egbert: can you even own a prankster's gambit if you're not a real prankster? hmmmm.

[21/06/2012 05:31:36] Karkat Vantas: IF I DID HAVE ONE, I DON'T THINK I DO ANYMORE. IF I DIDN'T, IT WOULD BE JUST AS WELL. I AM JUST THAT GOOD AT THIS SHIT.

[21/06/2012 05:37:15] John Egbert: what, cos it exploded? pffft.

[21/06/2012 05:37:46] John Egbert: but okay pranking master, you win for now. *sticks his tounge out* are you coming to bed? i'm kinda tired.

[21/06/2012 05:42:40] Karkat Vantas: THAT'S RIGHT I DO. AND I DON'T INTEND TO LOSE ANYTIME SOON. *stretches a bit as he rises* YEAH, I'M COMING. ALL OF THIS WINNING HAS MADE ME TIRED TOO. *migrates to the bed, pulling up the blanket*

[21/06/2012 05:45:02] John Egbert: *scrambles in after him, shuffling close* yeah yeah, enjoy winning for now. it won't last! goodnight, karkat.

[21/06/2012 05:47:28] Karkat Vantas: WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT! *makes himself comfortable against him* BUT GOODNIGHT, JOHN.

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

movie night 24: employee of the month

John and Karkat watch another movie featuring Dane Cook. 

[12/07/2012 02:40:46] John {Kat!}: hey, good lookin'. what've you brought this week?

[12/07/2012 02:44:18] Karkat Vantas: EVENING, FUCKNUTS. THIS WEEK I'VE BROUGHT ANOTHER GEM. I HAVE ANOTHER DANE COOK FILM HERE CALLED EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

[12/07/2012 02:45:38] John {Kat!}: hmm, more dane cook? okay, cool. the last one of his we watched was pretty legit.

[12/07/2012 02:46:14] John {Kat!}: *gestures to couch* come sit down, assmuffin.

[12/07/2012 02:47:09] Karkat Vantas: YEAH YEAH, HERE I COME. *sits down next to him, making himself comfortable*

[12/07/2012 02:47:51] John {Kat!}: *puts an arm round him, not even bothering to attempt smoothness*

[12/07/2012 02:48:03] John {Kat!}: oh boy, i love those wheelie shoes.

[12/07/2012 02:48:43] Karkat Vantas: THOSE WHEELIE SHOES SEEM LIKE MUCH MORE OF  HAZARD THAN A HELP IN MY OPINION. *rests his head against his shoulder*

[12/07/2012 02:49:18] John {Kat!}: pfft, annal.

[12/07/2012 02:49:32] John {Kat!}: i think they look fun. maybe i'll get some? hmmm.

[12/07/2012 02:50:07] Karkat Vantas: IF YOU DO, DON'T COME CRAWLING TO ME WHEN YOU WIND UP ROLLING YOURSELF INTO A WALL OR DOWN A SET OF STAIRS.

[12/07/2012 02:50:45] John {Kat!}: oh man, i'd be falling down all those stairs?

[12/07/2012 02:50:58] Karkat Vantas: ALL OF THOSE STAIRS. ALL OF THEM.

[12/07/2012 02:52:18] John {Kat!}: hahaha, ulysses works at a shitty store like them.

[12/07/2012 02:52:45] John {Kat!}: but okay, i am, already hating this vince guy.

[12/07/2012 02:53:10] Karkat Vantas: HAHAHA, YEAH, AND HE'S A WALMART GREETER. THAT SOUNDS A HELL OF A LOT WORSE THAN BEING A BOX BOY. I'D RATHER BREAK EVERY BONE IN MY BODY THAN GET STUCK AS ONE OF THEM.

[12/07/2012 02:53:34] John {Kat!}: imagining you smiling and greeting people is fucking hilarious.

[12/07/2012 02:53:52] Karkat Vantas: OH FUCK NO. I'D GET FIRED WITHIN THE FIRST FIVE MINTUES.

[12/07/2012 02:54:29] John {Kat!}: "welcome, john. do you need help with anything? what can i do for you?"

[12/07/2012 02:54:32] John {Kat!}: hahaha. yeeees.

[12/07/2012 02:55:12] John {Kat!}: i think his tiny motorcycle's pretty sweet, too.

[12/07/2012 02:55:47] Karkat Vantas: OF COURSE YOU DO. BUT LET ME GUESS, HE DOESN'T PULL IT OFF LIKE MCCONAUGHEY PULLS OFF HIS MOTORCYCLE?

[12/07/2012 02:56:13] John {Kat!}: well, it is like a baby one. doesn't have quite the same appeal!

[12/07/2012 02:56:37] John {Kat!}: bleh, she's not that hot.

[12/07/2012 02:57:35] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, I AGREE WITH THAT. JESSICA SIMPSON LOOKS NICE, BUT NOT QUITE HOT.

[12/07/2012 02:58:17] John {Kat!}: that's jessica simpson? yeah she's ok i guess but not really my type.

[12/07/2012 02:58:49] John {Kat!}: aww, they're alreasy pretty in sync, though.

[12/07/2012 02:59:23] Karkat Vantas: AREN'T THEY? IT'S ALWAYS GREAT WHEN THE COUPLES HIT IT OFF SO QUIKLY.

[12/07/2012 02:59:36] John {Kat!}: but i am so unconvinced, who would go for that weird looking guy over dane cook anyway?

[12/07/2012 03:00:03] John {Kat!}: his hair doesn't match his eyebrows :(

[12/07/2012 03:00:31 | Edited 03:00:42] Karkat Vantas: BECAUSE HE'S SUCCESSFUL AT HIS JOB? THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY REASON I CAN COME UP WITH. HIS PERSONALITY LEAVES A LOT TO BE DESIRED, THAT'S FOR SURE.

[12/07/2012 03:00:59] John {Kat!}: oh my GOD. karkat. check out that clubhouse. that's the coolest thing EVER.

[12/07/2012 03:02:09] John {Kat!}: karkat i think we need a secret base somewhere in the school.

[12/07/2012 03:02:12] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD, OF COURSE YOU'D THINK IT LOOKS COOL. THOUGH I GUESS IT DOES LOOK LIKE A NEAT PLACE TO HANG OUT AT WORK, ANYWAYS.

[12/07/2012 03:02:16] John {Kat!}: kind of like a love nest.

[12/07/2012 03:02:18] John {Kat!}: lol!

[12/07/2012 03:02:33] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD, A LOVE NEST?

[12/07/2012 03:02:34] John {Kat!}: it's dead cool, how can you not think so?

[12/07/2012 03:02:45] Karkat Vantas: YOU DID ACTUALLY JUST SAY 'LOVE NEST'. WOW.

[12/07/2012 03:03:04] John {Kat!}: yes! come on, like a top secret make out den doesn't appeal to you.

[12/07/2012 03:03:47] Karkat Vantas: WELL PUTTING IT THAT WAY MAKES IT SOUND A BIT MORE APPEALING, YEAH.

[12/07/2012 03:04:11 | Edited 03:04:38] Karkat Vantas: BUT WHERE IN THE HELL WOULD WE PUT IT? THE SCHOOL IS SORT OF, YOU KNOW, A PUBLIC BUILDING? ACCESS TO EVERY ROOM?

[12/07/2012 03:05:33] John {Kat!}: i bet we can figure out something. an abandoned room or something? or maybe like, somewhere outside.

[12/07/2012 03:05:36] John {Kat!}: i dunno.

[12/07/2012 03:06:09] John {Kat!}: maybe there's some hidden room somewhere, like in harry potter.

[12/07/2012 03:07:28] Karkat Vantas: FUCK, LIKE HARRY POTTOR? THOUGH I DOUBT IT'D BE QUITE AS AMAZING AS THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT. MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING AROUND, THOUGH.

[12/07/2012 03:08:35] John {Kat!}: man, what would even be in there if you were just looking for a place to get your mack on? maybe a load of pillows and blankets? hahaha.

[12/07/2012 03:08:37] John {Kat!}: let's go investigate next lunch.

[12/07/2012 03:08:52] John {Kat!}: meanwhile, this guy is still a tool.

[12/07/2012 03:09:23] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, HAHAHA. LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT NEXT LUNCH, I'M SURE WE'LL FIND SOMETHING.

[12/07/2012 03:09:40] Karkat Vantas: AND YEAH, THE BIGGEST TOOL. JESSICA, DON'T FALL FOR HIS BULLSHIT!

[12/07/2012 03:10:31] John {Kat!}: yeah, who'd possibly fall for that crap? if he was REALLY COOL he'd make it a magic show rather than just juggling.

[12/07/2012 03:11:08] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD, THAT'S YOUR ONLY ARGUEMENT? I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING, HAHA.

[12/07/2012 03:11:45] John {Kat!}: i think the idea of making being a cashier a show is cool! he's just an asshole, though.

[12/07/2012 03:12:41] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, HE MAKES ALMOST ALL OF THE OTHER ASSHOLES LOOK LIKE DECENT PEOPLE.

[12/07/2012 03:12:56] John {Kat!}: ew, with vince? you suck, jessica.

[12/07/2012 03:13:32] Karkat Vantas: JESSICA, CANCEL YOUR DINNER PLANS AND GO TO THIS PARTY! ISN'T IT OBVIOUS WHO THE BETTER CHOICE OF GUY IS? DANE IS ACTUALLY A NICE GUY.

[12/07/2012 03:13:36] Karkat Vantas: JESUS, LOOK AT THIS DICK.

[12/07/2012 03:14:20] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS ASSWIPE.

[12/07/2012 03:14:54] John {Kat!}: i don't actully like dane cook as much in this role, though.

[12/07/2012 03:15:15] John {Kat!}: i like him as a huge asshole, pffft.

[12/07/2012 03:16:13] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, I ADMIT HE WAS BETTER IN MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL. AGREED, HUGE ASSHOLE IS PROBABLY WHAT HE PLAYS BEST. THOUGH HE DOES ANY ROLE HE TAKES WELL, WHETHER IT BE IN A MOVIE OR DURING ONE OF HIS COMEDY ACTS.

[12/07/2012 03:17:33] Karkat Vantas: WOW, THAT WAITRESS TOTALLY GAVE HER THE LOOK.

[12/07/2012 03:17:45] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD.

[12/07/2012 03:17:57] John {Kat!}: he just has that same HUGE JERK charm you've got.

[12/07/2012 03:18:22] John {Kat!}: and yeah, she's so put off. ugh, vince.

[12/07/2012 03:18:33] Karkat Vantas: WELL AT LEAST SHE CAN SEE IT.

[12/07/2012 03:18:41] John {Kat!}: hahaha, gross.

[12/07/2012 03:18:49] John {Kat!}: wow, even we're better kissers.

[12/07/2012 03:18:56] Karkat Vantas: OH MY FUCKING LORD, HE IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG.

[12/07/2012 03:19:06] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY! EVEN WE'RE NOT THAT BAD!

[12/07/2012 03:23:50] John {Kat!}: [[ew sorry my computer decided to reset and install an update]]

[12/07/2012 03:24:54] Karkat Vantas: [[that's alright i hate when mine does that too darn computers :I]]

[12/07/2012 03:25:20] John {Kat!}: man, my teeth are totally like that too.

[12/07/2012 03:25:23] John {Kat!}: hehehehe.

[12/07/2012 03:25:47] Karkat Vantas: SO INVITING AND SUPPLE, JOHN.

[12/07/2012 03:25:59] John {Kat!}: and we're both awesome kissers at this point.

[12/07/2012 03:26:13] John {Kat!}: haha, are they now? *eyebrow wiggle*

[12/07/2012 03:27:42] Karkat Vantas: OH, DEFINITELY. IS THERE A LITTLE IVORY IN THEM AS WELL? *grins a little as he gives him a tiny nudge*

[12/07/2012 03:28:31] John {Kat!}: why not FIND OUT??

[12/07/2012 03:28:39] John {Kat!}: does that work as a pick up, even?

[12/07/2012 03:28:53] John {Kat!}: i'm pretty sure you can't actually taste ivory.

[12/07/2012 03:28:58] John {Kat!}: dang.

[12/07/2012 03:29:42] Karkat Vantas: HOW WOULD WE KNOW UNLESS WE TRIED? HAHAHA, WHO KNOWS, MAYBE IVORY HAS A DISTINCT TASTE NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT?

[12/07/2012 03:30:11] John {Kat!}: i dunno man, i guess not everyone goes about licking ivory?

[12/07/2012 03:31:08] John {Kat!}: you could be making some real scientific discoveries here.

[12/07/2012 03:32:14] Karkat Vantas: I COULD BE! I DON'T KNOW, THINK WE SHOULD CHECK? MANKIND MIGHT BE BETTERED BY THIS POSSIBLE DISCOVERY!

[12/07/2012 03:33:24] John {Kat!}: i think we definetely should, karkat. for the sake of the world.

[12/07/2012 03:33:50] John {Kat!}: *leans forward with his SEXIEST FACE on"

[12/07/2012 03:35:17] Karkat Vantas: WELL, WHO COULD ARGUE WITH THE SAKE OF THE WORLD? SOUNDS PRETTY IMPORTANT TO ME.

[12/07/2012 03:36:18] Karkat Vantas: *leans forward as well, grinning before giving him a kiss*

[12/07/2012 03:37:27] John {Kat!}: *deliberately uses too much teeth, before pulling back in a fit of giggles*

[12/07/2012 03:39:48] Karkat Vantas: *also deliberately runs his tongue over his teeth a lot before pulling back, snorting a little* WELL, MAYBE IT DIDN'T HAVE MUCH OF A DISTINCT TASTE AFTER ALL. UNLESS IVORY TASTES A LITTLE BIT LIKE THE PIZZA WE HAD FOR DINNER. IN THAT CASE, WE'VE SOLVED THE UNIVERSE'S MOST COMPLEX MYSTERY.

[12/07/2012 03:40:54] John {Kat!}: it's cool, i think we probably made a good discovery here.

[12/07/2012 03:41:00] John {Kat!}: also, his date is adorable.

[12/07/2012 03:42:20] Karkat Vantas: ISN'T IT THOUGH? AND LISTEN TO HER, SHE WAS TOTALLY IMPRESSED THAT HE WAS JUST BEING HIMSELF.

[12/07/2012 03:43:11] John {Kat!}: yes, they're total cuties.

[12/07/2012 03:44:10] John {Kat!}: and it's cool that she has huge ears. i can RELATE to her.

[12/07/2012 03:44:26] John {Kat!}: being basically perfect aside from a minor visual flaw.

[12/07/2012 03:44:33] John {Kat!}: hehe.

[12/07/2012 03:45:45] Karkat Vantas: ARE YOU KIDDING? I DON'T SEE ANY MINOR VISUAL FLAWS, JOHN. I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO HERE! AS STATED BY DANE COOK, I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

[12/07/2012 03:46:51] John {Kat!}: d'aww. wow, way to be totally fucking romantic.

[12/07/2012 03:48:47] John {Kat!}: i like everything about you too, dunderhead. you're basically perfect.

[12/07/2012 03:50:47] Karkat Vantas: LOOKS LIKE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S GOOD AT BEING ROMANTIC HERE, DAMN. I LOVE YOU, FUCKFACE. *gives him a quick kiss on the cheek*

[12/07/2012 03:52:23] John {Kat!}: *grins and kisses the top of his head*

[12/07/2012 03:52:30] John {Kat!}: love you too, kitkat.

[12/07/2012 03:53:09] John {Kat!}: and woah, things are starting to turn flipways for vince. good.

[12/07/2012 03:54:17] Karkat Vantas: *smiles as he rests against him a bit more* I KNOW, RIGHT? HE'S TOTALLY FUCKING UP NOW AND IT'S GREAT TO SEE.

[12/07/2012 03:54:29] Karkat Vantas: WHT DID I TELL YOU? THOSE SHOES ARE FUCKING DANGEROUS!

[12/07/2012 03:54:34] John {Kat!}: his friend is totally fucking gay for him, too.

[12/07/2012 03:54:51] John {Kat!}: not if you know how to use em! i'll be fiiiine.

[12/07/2012 03:55:03 | Edited 03:55:09] Karkat Vantas: DOES THAT MEAN YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THEM?

[12/07/2012 03:55:15] John {Kat!}: ew, asshole. that's not what serendipitious means.

[12/07/2012 03:56:34] Karkat Vantas: NOT AT ALL. IF I DIDN'T DISLIKE HIM BEFORE, MISUSING THAT WORD DEFINITELY WARRENTS HEAVY AMOUNTS OF HATE.

[12/07/2012 03:57:03] John {Kat!}: you're telling me! that's like, our word.

[12/07/2012 03:57:28] John {Kat!}: most couples have a song, we have a song, several movies and a favourite word.

[12/07/2012 03:59:39] Karkat Vantas: YES, YES WE DO. AND ALL OF THEM ARE GREAT. OTHER COUPLES ARE COMPLETELY MISSING OUT.

[12/07/2012 04:00:45] John {Kat!}: other couples are missing out in general because pretty much none of them have it as good as us.

[12/07/2012 04:01:08] John {Kat!}: like pssh, i'd so rather be with you than any of them.

[12/07/2012 04:01:34] John {Kat!}: they're all missing out on the karkat-kisses.

[12/07/2012 04:02:33] Karkat Vantas: THEY REALLY DON'T, DO THEY? AND LIKEWISE, I'D MUCH RATHER BE WITH YOU THAN ANYONE ELSE.

[12/07/2012 04:03:03] Karkat Vantas: KARKAT-KISSES? I THINK THE MAIN THING THEY'RE MISSING OUT ON ARE THE JOHN-KISSES. OR EVEN THE JOHN-CUDDLES. OR THE JOHN-MOVIE NIGHTS.

[12/07/2012 04:03:55] John {Kat!}: they're just missing out on the whole dating-karkat package, okay.

[12/07/2012 04:04:50] Karkat Vantas: THOUGH I THINK THE DATING-JOHN PACKAGE IS A BIT LARGER THAN THE DATING-KARKAT ONE. IT'S A BIT TALLER, AT LEAST.

[12/07/2012 04:06:14] John {Kat!}: pssh, true. but y'know. good things come in small packages?

[12/07/2012 04:07:35] Karkat Vantas: OH DAMN, YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE REAL GOOD.

[12/07/2012 04:08:29] John {Kat!}: yeah well, you're the best.

[12/07/2012 04:09:23] John {Kat!}: shit, working in a superstore is such SERIOUS BUISINESS in this?

[12/07/2012 04:09:46] Karkat Vantas: OH SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU FUCKNUTS. *gives him an embarrassed shove*

[12/07/2012 04:10:37] Karkat Vantas: BUT ISN'T IT? WHAT AN INTENSE COMPETITION THIS IS. EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH IS NO LAUGHING MATTER AFTER ALL!

[12/07/2012 04:10:54] John {Kat!}: heh, never. *shoves him back, and gives him a light prod in the cheek*

[12/07/2012 04:11:28] John {Kat!}: oh no, it's a huge deal. this is probably ulysses' future we're seeing.

[12/07/2012 04:12:29] Karkat Vantas: UGH, YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. *puffs his cheeks out a little, prodding him in the side*

[12/07/2012 04:13:31] John {Kat!}: no way, i'm a super lovely guy wuth a heart of gold and stuff.

[12/07/2012 04:13:33] Karkat Vantas: OH FUCK, I'D BETTER LET HIM BORROW THIS FILM SO HE CAN LEARN JUST HOW BAD HE'S GOING TO GET IT. IF THIS IS INDEED HIS FUTURE, I WEEP.

[12/07/2012 04:14:47] Karkat Vantas: DAMMIT, THE SAD THING IS THAT THAT'S MOSTLY TRUE. *pokes him in the chest* HEART OF GOLD, RIGHT HERE. MAYBE EVEN MORESO THAN CAMERON POE.

[12/07/2012 04:15:36] John {Kat!}: oh wow, what a compliment! that golden heart's melting, right here.

[12/07/2012 04:16:46] John {Kat!}: and you'rre an even more charming jerkface than dane cook, okay?

[12/07/2012 04:16:53] John {Kat!}: that's a compliment.

[12/07/2012 04:18:47 | Edited 04:18:58] Karkat Vantas: WELL FUCK, THAT'S A PRETTY DAMN GOOD COMPLIMENT. THIS JERKFACE IS ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS OF A JERKFACE WHEN YOU'RE AROUND. THOUGH ACTUALLY THAT MAKES ME MORE OF A JERKFACE, USUALLY.

[12/07/2012 04:20:33] John {Kat!}: yeah, you're pretty jerky when you're arround me, too!

[12/07/2012 04:22:07] Karkat Vantas: UGH, I FORGOT HOW TERRIBLE THIS PART WAS.

[12/07/2012 04:22:50] John {Kat!}: wow, how's he even going to get down?

[12/07/2012 04:25:42] John {Kat!}: oh man, it's crunch time!

[12/07/2012 04:26:18] John {Kat!}: these two are still really gay.

[12/07/2012 04:27:20] Karkat Vantas: I KNOW RIGHT? AND VINCE IS PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE OBLIVIOUS TO IT?

[12/07/2012 04:27:36] John {Kat!}: like i think them interacting is gayer than anything we do.

[12/07/2012 04:28:05] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, I CAN DEFINITELY AGREE WITH THAT.

[12/07/2012 04:29:30] John {Kat!}: gayer than like, when we made out for an hour in prom dresses.

[12/07/2012 04:29:33] John {Kat!}: THAT GAY.

[12/07/2012 04:29:48] John {Kat!}: and aww, come on zack.

[12/07/2012 04:30:27] Karkat Vantas: HOLY FUCK, THOSE ARE SOME STAGGERING AMOUNTS OF GAY THERE. BUT THE SAD THING IS THAT IT'S TRUE.

[12/07/2012 04:30:59] Karkat Vantas: DAMN, THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST INTENSE SUPERSTORE I'VE EVER SEEN.

[12/07/2012 04:31:04] John {Kat!}: yup! we're only the second gayest out there.

[12/07/2012 04:31:27] John {Kat!}: and wow, if working in retail is this hardcore it actually looks sort of fun?

[12/07/2012 04:33:25] Karkat Vantas: I HIGHLY DOUBT IT'S ACTUALLY ANYTHING LIKE THIS. ALBIET I'VE NEVER WORKED IN RETAIL, OR AT ALL REALLY, IT CAN'T BE ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

[12/07/2012 04:33:41] John {Kat!}: nah, not in real life.

[12/07/2012 04:34:06] John {Kat!}: wow, i should get a job eventually. maybe i could work in a bakery?

[12/07/2012 04:36:01] John {Kat!}: wow karkat, what if we had movie theatre jobs?

[12/07/2012 04:36:05] Karkat Vantas: I COULD DEFINITELY SEE THAT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I'D WORK. DEFINITELY NOT IN FUCKING RETAIL, THAT'S FOR SURE.

[12/07/2012 04:36:14] Karkat Vantas: OKAY, THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE A FANTASTIC JOB.

[12/07/2012 04:36:19] John {Kat!}: we could sit in that room at the top where the projector is and stuff.

[12/07/2012 04:36:47] Karkat Vantas: OH HELL YES. AND WOULD WE GET LIKE, DISCOUNTED OR FREE MOVIE PASSES?

[12/07/2012 04:36:53] John {Kat!}: it'd be like, the REAL back of the theatre.

[12/07/2012 04:36:58] John {Kat!}: oooh, i hope so.

[12/07/2012 04:38:19] Karkat Vantas: MAYBE WE SHOULD CHECK THIS OUT WHEN WE'RE OLD ENOUGH. THEATRE JOBS SOUND LIKE THE BEST, WOW.

[12/07/2012 04:38:52] John {Kat!}: hahaha, it's probably cooler in our heads than reality. but yeah, the idea is pretty dang cool.

[12/07/2012 04:39:41] John {Kat!}: although! i'd do such a poor job at work if we were working in the same place. you're so distracting.

[12/07/2012 04:40:32] Karkat Vantas: OH SHIT, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT. I DON'T THINK I'D GET ANY WORK DONE AT ALL WITH YOU AROUND, HAHAHA.

[12/07/2012 04:42:07] John {Kat!}: no way, it'd be even worse than school. i'd keep grabbing you and we'd be fired for gross indecency.

[12/07/2012 04:42:23] John {Kat!}: unless we had a secret den, of course! haha.

[12/07/2012 04:44:05] Karkat Vantas: OH YES, WE'D NEED TO MAKE A SECRET 'LOVE DEN' IN THE WORKPLACE AS WELL AS AT SCHOOL. SHIT, WE MIGHT NEED ONE EVERY PLACE WE GO AT THIS RATE!

[12/07/2012 04:45:21] John {Kat!}: oh man, we should find somewhere in the park, too.

[12/07/2012 04:45:33] John {Kat!}: maybe some bushes? idk, that's not all that romantic.

[12/07/2012 04:46:03] John {Kat!}: what we really need is a freaking TREEHOUSE. ah.

[12/07/2012 04:46:13] John {Kat!}: i always wanted a treehouse.

[12/07/2012 04:47:21] Karkat Vantas: A PRIVATE TREEHOUSE IN THE PUBLIC PARK. SOUNDS LIKE A CAPITAL IDEA. SHALL I PHONE THE LOCAL PARK DISTRICT AND HAVE THEM SIGN OFF ON SUCH A PROJECT? I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE TO HELP US IN OUR QUEST TO MAKE ANY MAKEOUT URGES WE GET IN PUBLIC SLIGHTLY LESS PUBLIC!

[12/07/2012 04:48:48] John {Kat!}: pahaha, i'm just joking. but how great would that be? although actually climbing up would be a total chore. maybe not.

[12/07/2012 04:50:22] Karkat Vantas: MAYBE SOMEDAY, JOHN. SOMEDAY WE WILL GET A TREEHOUSE. AND IT WILL BE SUCH A GREAT TREEHOUSE, IT WOULD BE BETTER TO LIVE IN SAID HOUSE THAN A REAL HOME OR APARTMENT BUILDING. IT WILL JUST BE THAT DAMN AMAZING.

[12/07/2012 04:51:36] John {Kat!}: wow! i think we have our future home all figured out, dude.

[12/07/2012 04:52:10] John {Kat!}: though okay, my future home right now is my bed.

[12/07/2012 04:52:23] John {Kat!}: future like, 30 seconds in the future.

[12/07/2012 04:52:53] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE MY FUTURE IN THE SAME TIMEFRAME AS WELL.

[12/07/2012 04:53:55] John {Kat!}: we're fucking fortune tellers, karkat.

[12/07/2012 04:54:17] Karkat Vantas: OH SHIT, MAYBE THAT WILL BE OUR FUTURE CAREER. SOOTHSEERS.

[12/07/2012 04:54:48] Karkat Vantas: THOUGH MY SOOTHSEEING SKILLS ARE TELLING ME IF WE DON'T MAKE IT TO YOUR BED SOON, WE MIGHT NOT LEAVE THE COUCH FOR ANOTHER EIGHT HOURS.

[12/07/2012 04:55:25] John {Kat!}: *gets up and climbs in, tugging karkat after him* alrighty, then. can't argue with that! night, gaypuff.

[12/07/2012 04:56:17] Karkat Vantas: *goes along, lying down next to him once they reach the bed* NIGHT YOURSELF, FUCKCAKES.

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

movie night 23: the wedding planner

Finally posting some old logs I missed. John and Karkat watch another movie featuring John's mancrush. They talk about karkat's glasses kink, flower meanings, and the terrible state of John's hair. Karkat brushes it for him.

[10/06/2012 04:11:08] John Egbert: come in dude, we're doing another matthew flick.

[10/06/2012 04:11:27] John Egbert: his romcoms are pretty much the best ones.

[10/06/2012 04:11:43] John Egbert: *hasn't bothered to get up, just beckoning him over*

[10/06/2012 04:12:05] Karkat Vantas: OH SWEET, THE WEDDING PLANNER? THIS IS PROBABLY HIS BEST FILM IN MY OPINION. *quickly takes a seat next to him, leaning against him*

[10/06/2012 04:13:37] John Egbert: well, my favourite is probably failure to launch, maybe? though i dunno, i have more of a thing for how to lose a guy now.

[10/06/2012 04:13:57] John Egbert: *snakes an arm round him in the least subtle way imaginable*

[10/06/2012 04:14:57] Karkat Vantas: THEY WERE BOTH GOOD, BUT OF THE TWO I'D HAVE TO SAY HOW TO LOSE A GUY WAS BETTER. THAT COUPLE HAD A LOT MORE CHEMISTRY ANYWAYS.

[10/06/2012 04:15:32] John Egbert: yeah, that is definetely true. i used to think failure to launch was better, but i dunno. maybe my tastes have changed a little.

[10/06/2012 04:16:17] John Egbert: hahaha, look at all those suplies.

[10/06/2012 04:16:19] Karkat Vantas: I WONDER WHY THAT COULD BE? BUT LET ME GUESS. YOU THOUGHT FAILURE TO LAUNCH WAS BETTER BECAUSE OF THE ANIMAL ATTACK SCENES?

[10/06/2012 04:16:36] Karkat Vantas: WELL, SHE'S DEFINITELY PREPARED. HAVE TO GIVE HER PROPS FOR THAT.

[10/06/2012 04:16:38] John Egbert: yeah. but also! zooey's character.

[10/06/2012 04:17:24] Karkat Vantas: OH THAT'S RIGHT. I ALMOST FORGOT THAT YOU LIKED HER. SHE AND THE OTHER GUY MADE A BETTER COUPLE THAN THE MAIN TWO, AT ANY RATE.

[10/06/2012 04:17:58] John Egbert: yeah, i watch the movie for them, the animal antics and y'know, matthew's cool charisma.

[10/06/2012 04:18:28] Karkat Vantas: OH YES, WHO COULD EVER FORGET ABOUT ALL OF THAT CHARISMA? IT'S SO BLINDING SOMETIMES I CAN'T EVEN SEE HIS FACE.

[10/06/2012 04:18:49] John Egbert: and ok, i see. she's like, a lonely woman or something.

[10/06/2012 04:19:05] John Egbert: careful, you don't wanna miss his face, it's great.

[10/06/2012 04:19:44] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, VERY LONELY. AND SHE'S A WEDDING PLANNER. HELPING ALL OF THOSE COUPLES PLAN WEDDINGS MUST BE TOUGH.

[10/06/2012 04:20:14] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD, THIS GUY IS SO RUDE. WOW. WHAT A FUCKING ASS.

[10/06/2012 04:20:29] John Egbert: yeah, jesus. who acts like that?

[10/06/2012 04:20:58] Karkat Vantas: ESPECIALLY WHEN OH, I DON'T KNOW, YOU WANT TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION ON A GIRL YOU ARE TRYING TO GET WITH?

[10/06/2012 04:21:21] John Egbert: yeah, and you start demanding how many kids you want? noooo.

[10/06/2012 04:22:16] John Egbert: "made contact", man if only this movie had aliens. hahaha.

[10/06/2012 04:23:03] Karkat Vantas: OH SHUT UP, HA HA HA. THE WEDDING PLANNER? WITH ALIENS? WHAT, WOULD SHE ARRANGE AN ALIEN WEDDING OR SOMETHING? FUCK THAT, HA HA HA HA.

[10/06/2012 04:23:56] Karkat Vantas: "ADORABLE"? WOW.

[10/06/2012 04:24:03] John Egbert: alien wedding, oh man. that'd be hilarious. maybe that will be another smash hit of mine.

[10/06/2012 04:25:24] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW THAT WOULD GO. I WONDER IF HOLLYWOOD WOULD ACTUALLY PRODUCE THAT.

[10/06/2012 04:25:40] John Egbert: it would.

[10/06/2012 04:25:51] John Egbert: or maybe i'll be an independant filmaker, i guess.

[10/06/2012 04:26:28] Karkat Vantas: AN INDEPENDANT FILMMAKER, HUH? THAT WOULD BE PRETTY COOL, ACTUALLY.

[10/06/2012 04:27:02] John Egbert: yes and then slowly i would become super popular and famous and INFILTRATE HOLLYWOOD.

[10/06/2012 04:27:33] John Egbert: but you know, being a lower class director would be fine too.

[10/06/2012 04:27:46] John Egbert: for all i know hollywood could be pretty lame?

[10/06/2012 04:28:08] John Egbert: oh wow.

[10/06/2012 04:28:27] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, HOLLYWOOD ONLY CARES ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY A MOVIE WOULD NET, RATHER THAN THE ACTUAL CONTENT.

[10/06/2012 04:28:32] Karkat Vantas: WHAT A MEETING, HUH?

[10/06/2012 04:28:45] John Egbert: yeeeeeees. it's a pretty good one.

[10/06/2012 04:29:20] John Egbert: shit he's so charming. oh my god.

[10/06/2012 04:29:43] Karkat Vantas: OKAY, EVEN I CAN'T DENY THAT.

[10/06/2012 04:30:47] John Egbert: and he's a DOCTOR. though that isn't really my thing, haha.

[10/06/2012 04:31:08] Karkat Vantas: HE IS INDEED A DOCTOR. A CHILDREN'S DOCTOR, NO LESS.

[10/06/2012 04:31:46] John Egbert: i'm pretty sure that is an attractive job to have.

[10/06/2012 04:32:02] John Egbert: though i dunno, i prefer him as a boat salesman.

[10/06/2012 04:32:16] Karkat Vantas: LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WANTED TO IMPRESS HIM, HA HA.

[10/06/2012 04:32:46] John Egbert: can't say i blame her, hahahaha.

[10/06/2012 04:33:08] Karkat Vantas: OF COURSE NOT. MAYBE YOU'D ACTUALLY TAKE A BRUSH TO YOUR HAIR? HA HA HA HA.

[10/06/2012 04:33:29] John Egbert: oh shit, yeah. i should do that at some point.

[10/06/2012 04:33:41] John Egbert: it's been like, 3 weeks or so?

[10/06/2012 04:34:06] Karkat Vantas: THREE WEEKS? REALLY? YEESH. AM I GOING TO HAVE TO BRUSH IT FOR YOU?

[10/06/2012 04:34:15] Karkat Vantas: "PICK APART YOUR BRAIN". SO SMOOTH.

[10/06/2012 04:34:33] John Egbert: nah, you don't have to. unless you want to, i guess.

[10/06/2012 04:35:08] Karkat Vantas: I'D HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT. NOT BRUSHING FOR THREE WEEKS? I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE EVEN FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO IT PROPERLY, HA HA.

[10/06/2012 04:35:31] John Egbert: pfft, how hard can it be?

[10/06/2012 04:35:45] John Egbert: hehehe, he looks so silly with the glasses.

[10/06/2012 04:36:00] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T KNOW, I THINK THOSE GLASSES FRAME HIS FACE REALLY NICELY.

[10/06/2012 04:36:49] John Egbert: "frame his face"? i don't know about that.

[10/06/2012 04:37:15] John Egbert: they only really frame his eyes, haha.

[10/06/2012 04:37:45] Karkat Vantas: WELL YES, BUT THEY GIVE AN ACCENT TO HIS WHOLE FACE. WHY DOESN'T HE WEAR THEM MORE OFTEN, ANYWAYS?

[10/06/2012 04:38:36] John Egbert: i dunno, he doesn't usually play doctors. they don't fit his character so much?

[10/06/2012 04:39:13] John Egbert: glasses are pretty lame, anyway. i only wear them becaise i'm practically blind without 'em.

[10/06/2012 04:39:44] Karkat Vantas: WELL, YEAH, I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE. BUT STILL. HE'S A LAWYER IN A FEW FILMS, RIGHT? DOES HE WEAR THEM IN THE OTHER ONES BESIDES A TIME TO KILL, TOO? I GUESS IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER MUCH THOUGH.

[10/06/2012 04:40:23] Karkat Vantas: OH, WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM? I THINK YOU LOOK UH, REALLY NICE WITH THEM ON. I MEAN, NOT THAT YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD WITHOUT THEM, BUT YOU DO, JUST. UH. FUCK.

[10/06/2012 04:40:48] John Egbert: well, one of them is a period film, so no. but theres a couple of others where he has them, i guess. you sure seemed interested in matthew mcconaughey's glasses, dude.

[10/06/2012 04:41:38] John Egbert: oh, um. thanks? i always figured they were just dorky but it only figures that you'd like them.

[10/06/2012 04:43:20] John Egbert: oh. shit.

[10/06/2012 04:43:26] John Egbert: why, matthew? :(

[10/06/2012 04:43:32] Karkat Vantas: I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED IN THEM, I WAS JUST ASKING AN INNOCENT QUESTION, IS ALL. AND NO, YOU DON'T LOOK DORKY AT ALL. ESPECIALLY NOT WITH THE GLASSES. BUT UH, WE CAN STOP TALKING ABOUT THOSE NOW.

[10/06/2012 04:43:41] Karkat Vantas: FIGURES HE'S ALREADY ENGAGED, HUH?

[10/06/2012 04:44:36] Karkat Vantas: HURT IT SAVING AN OLD LADY, WOW. WHAT A NICE COMPLIMENT.

[10/06/2012 04:44:38] John Egbert: pfft, you're just making it sound more incriminating. but sure, i guess we can stop.

[10/06/2012 04:44:48] John Egbert: ...maybe i'll get contacts.

[10/06/2012 04:45:33] Karkat Vantas: ...WHY? A SUDDEN DESIRE TO GET CONTACTS? DO YOU THINK YOU'D BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH POKING YOUR EYES EVERY DAY?

[10/06/2012 04:45:59] Karkat Vantas: I HEAR THEY ARE EXPENSIVE SOMETIMES, TOO. SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA TO ME.

[10/06/2012 04:47:00] John Egbert: i dunno, just wanted to see how you'd react. ehe.

[10/06/2012 04:48:23] Karkat Vantas: IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL! I AM NOT REACTING OR ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY.

[10/06/2012 04:49:25] John Egbert: yeah, you're not reacting that much. i guess i was wrong, haha.

[10/06/2012 04:49:49] Karkat Vantas: ..YOU WON'T GET THEM THOUGH, RIGHT?

[10/06/2012 04:50:02] John Egbert: see, he even makes lame sports like golf look good.

[10/06/2012 04:50:17 | Edited 04:50:25] John Egbert: ...maybe i will, maybe i won't. i'll see what dad says.

[10/06/2012 04:51:48] Karkat Vantas: SO YOU PLAN ON ASKING HIM FOR THEM. I DUNNO, YOU'LL HAVE TO KEEP THEM HYDRATED ALL THE TIME, AND MAINTENENCE IS EXPENSIVE, TOO. SOUNDS LIKE A BIG WASTE OF MONEY TO ME.

[10/06/2012 04:52:59] Karkat Vantas: AND HERE'S THIS DICKFACE AGAIN.

[10/06/2012 04:53:05] John Egbert: oh come on, they're not all THAT expensive. i don't think?

[10/06/2012 04:53:17] John Egbert: ahaha, yeah. what an assbutt.

[10/06/2012 04:53:59] John Egbert: ew, why doesn't she just SAY "fuck off dude we're not getting married"?

[10/06/2012 04:54:50] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, NO KIDDING. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE SHE WAS TRYING TO MAKE MATTHEW JEALOUS OR SOMETHING. OR SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY? SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST TOLD HIM TO COMPLETELY FUCK OFF AND LEAVE HER ALONE, THOUGH.

[10/06/2012 04:55:16] John Egbert: yeah absolutely. i would, if i was her.

[10/06/2012 04:55:26] Karkat Vantas: AND I DON'T KNOW, CONTACTS JUST SEEM LIKE THEY'D BE REALLY ANNOYING. WHY DO YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE ANY? NOT THAT I WOULD NEED THEM FOR CORRECTIVE PURPOSES.

[10/06/2012 04:55:36] John Egbert: although i doubt some weird italian man would try to marry me. i think i'm good.

[10/06/2012 04:55:48] John Egbert: oh, not this shit again.

[10/06/2012 04:56:01] John Egbert: we both know you don't wear contact lenses, karkat.

[10/06/2012 04:56:12] John Egbert: you'd have to take them out before bed.

[10/06/2012 04:56:52] Karkat Vantas: OH NO, I WASN'T SAYING I DID, I WAS JUST SAYING 'IF'. THEY ARE TOO MUCH TROUBLE. AND I'M JUST SAYING THAT THEY WOULD GET ANNOYING REALLY QUICK FOR YOU, I'M SURE.

[10/06/2012 04:57:33] Karkat Vantas: SO MUCH FOR A PLEASANT HORSE RIDE. AND LOOK WHO IS OFF TO SAVE HER ONCE AGAIN.

[10/06/2012 04:57:41] John Egbert: oh right. but why would you get them anyway? your eyes are lovely as they are.

[10/06/2012 04:57:58] John Egbert: damn, he has some kind of hero complex, hahaha.

[10/06/2012 04:58:06] John Egbert: he can rescue me any day, though.

[10/06/2012 05:00:36] Karkat Vantas: OH, SHUT UP. I GUESS I DON'T NEED THEM, ESPECIALLY IF YOU THINK THEY LOOK OKAY THE WAY THEY ARE. BUT I GUESS I'M SAYING THE SAME THING. YOUR EYES ARE LOOKING VERY GREAT RIGHT NOW. YOU KNOW, BEHIND GLASSES. NOT THAT THEY'D LOOK ANY WORSE WITHOUT THEM, BUT. YEAH.

[10/06/2012 05:00:38] John Egbert: though man is he a dick in this movie.

[10/06/2012 05:01:16] Karkat Vantas: AND SHE STILL ISN'T DENYING BEING ENGAGED TO THAT ITALIAN. MAYBE THEY REALLY ARE ENGAGED?

[10/06/2012 05:01:29] John Egbert: hahaha, i get it. you do have a thing for glasses. lol.

[10/06/2012 05:02:32] Karkat Vantas: THAT'S NOT WHAT I AM SAYING! THAT'S FUCKING CRAZY. WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

[10/06/2012 05:02:50] Karkat Vantas: ...OH WHO AM I KIDDING. YEAH, I HAVE A THING FOR GLASSES. GOOD FOR YOU! YOU FIGURED IT OUT!

[10/06/2012 05:02:58] John Egbert: big eyebrows and a low iq. sounds like you, dude.

[10/06/2012 05:03:17] Karkat Vantas: OH HA. HA. HA. VERY FUNNY. *playfully nudges him*

[10/06/2012 05:03:31] John Egbert: pfft, i have no idea why you were being so defensive over it! it's not a big deal at all.

[10/06/2012 05:04:48] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T KNOW, IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING. BUT IT CAN'T BE HELPED NOW, I INCRIMINATED MYSELF RIGHT INTO THE GROUND.

[10/06/2012 05:04:55] John Egbert: that pout she did was totally unattractive, pfft.

[10/06/2012 05:05:35] John Egbert: i don't see how it's any more embarrasing than anything else you find attractive. you're so lame.

[10/06/2012 05:08:24] Karkat Vantas: OH, JUST SHUT UP. LET'S JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT GLASSES NOW, OKAY? *smiles as he gives him another gentle shove*

[10/06/2012 05:09:06] Karkat Vantas: LET'S JUST ADMIRE THE BEAUTY OF THEIR GROWING LOVE INSTEAD.

[10/06/2012 05:09:48] Karkat Vantas: AWWWWWWW.

[10/06/2012 05:09:59] John Egbert: fiiiiiiiine. and i'll keep them on next time we're doing stuff, hehehe.

yeah, i guess. i don't think they're as good as some couples we've seen.

[10/06/2012 05:10:52] John Egbert: j-lo is kind of bland and this is possibly mcconaughey's douchiest movie. (though he's still awesome.)

[10/06/2012 05:12:34 | Edited 05:13:58] Karkat Vantas: ...YEAH, OKAY. THAT SOUNDS GOOD THEN. BUT I WILL AGREE, LOPEZ IS DEFINITELY KIND OF BLAND. SHE WAS RATHER STIFF IN MAID IN MANHATTAN, TOO. NOT THE USUAL FEMALE LEAD. THOUGH I THINK SHE'S BETTER WITH MCCONAUGHEY THAN SHE WAS WITH THE OTHER GUY. THE BEST PART OF THAT MOVIE WAS HER SON.

[10/06/2012 05:14:08] John Egbert: well, she is more of a singer than an actress. her acting career never really took off, haha.

[10/06/2012 05:14:30] John Egbert: bluh, flower meanings. who even cares about the meaning of a flower if it looks pretty?

[10/06/2012 05:14:50] Karkat Vantas: VERY TRUE. NOT EVERY SINGER CAN MAKE IT AS AN ACTOR OR ACTRESS, THAT'S FOR SURE.

[10/06/2012 05:16:00] Karkat Vantas: AND WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? FLOWER MEANINGS ARE VERY IMPORTANT. SOME FLOWERS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL, BUT HAVE A HORRIBLE MEANING OR SIGNIFICANCE ATTACHED TO THEM. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL GETTING A FLOWER THAT SYMBOLIZED REJECTION OR SOMETHING? NOT GOOD, THAT'S FOR SURE.

[10/06/2012 05:17:01] John Egbert: eh, it's not like it would really matter unless they were actually giving it to me as a form of rejection. people should attach their own meanings to them! :D

[10/06/2012 05:18:00] John Egbert: the sentiment behind flowers is way more important than some bullshit meaning the people might not even know about.

[10/06/2012 05:22:18] Karkat Vantas: AS MUCH AS I KNOW AND PLACE STOCK IN THE MEANING BEHIND JUST ABOUT ANY FLOWER YOU COULD NAME LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND, I GUESS THAT'S TRUE. REMEMBER WHEN YOU GOT THOSE GARDENIA FLOWERS FOR ME ON OUR DATE? I PICKED THOSE BECAUSE THE SYMBOLISM WAS "SECRET LOVE". THOUGH IT'S DEFINITELY NOT A SECRET NOW, HA HA HA.

[10/06/2012 05:23:09] Karkat Vantas: WOW, JUST LISTEN TO MCCONAUGHEY GO.

[10/06/2012 05:24:15] Karkat Vantas: AND SHE JUST SHOOTS HIM DOWN. UGH, THIS PART IS AWFUL.

[10/06/2012 05:24:41] John Egbert: oh man, but if i was giving the flowers wouldn't that mean me having a secret love? which i guess is true.

so secret i didn't even know about it! hahah.

[10/06/2012 05:24:55 | Edited 05:25:04] John Egbert: yeah, how could she turn down that? though i guess it made sense.

[10/06/2012 05:26:38] Karkat Vantas: SO SECRET YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT. THAT IS A GOOD WAY TO PUT IT I SUPPOSE, HA HA.

[10/06/2012 05:27:03] John Egbert: why's she trying to sort them out? they don't even like each other.

[10/06/2012 05:27:54] John Egbert: like, all that stuff she said about not knowing why they were together and not wanting him to be the last person she's ever with? that sucks.

[10/06/2012 05:28:45] Karkat Vantas: I KNOW, RIGHT? ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE LIKES HIM TOO, AND SHE KNOWS HE LIKED HER TOO! IF SHE COUDN'T STAND SO MANY THINGS, I FEEL LIKE THE MARRIAGE ACTUALLY WOULD NOT WORK. SHE SAYS SHE IS AN EXPERT AT GAUGING THESE THINGS, BUT HONESTLY I THINK I'D BE BETTER AT IT THAN HER. HELL, YOU MIGHT EVEN BE BETTER AT IT THAN HER.

[10/06/2012 05:28:46] John Egbert: and yeah, i'm basically just really great at keeping secrets. heheh.

[10/06/2012 05:29:22] John Egbert: she's good at planning weddings but not at like, ACTUAL ROMANCE.

[10/06/2012 05:29:53] Karkat Vantas: WOW, OKAY. THIS GUY REALLY SHAPED UP. HE REALLY DOES LIKE HER. HE'S ACTUALLY REALLY SWEET.

[10/06/2012 05:30:14] Karkat Vantas: BUT WE ALL KNOW SHE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY OF COURSE.

[10/06/2012 05:30:29 | Edited 05:31:21] John Egbert: yeah,  i guess. but could you marry a dude you'd known about 3 weeks? i couldn't, no matter how sweet they were.

[10/06/2012 05:31:13] John Egbert: besides, they don't really have any chemistry.

[10/06/2012 05:32:23] Karkat Vantas: WELL YEAH, THAT IS ALSO TRUE. I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BIT HASTY. AND SHE WENT AND SAID YES. WHEN SHE SHOULDN'T. SHE KNEW SHE DIDN'T FEEL THAT STRONGLY FOR HIM, AND SHE STILL SAID YES. JESUS FUCK, WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? IT WON'T GET ANY BETTER THEN THAT? IT'S LIKE SHE WAS SETTLING. WHICH IS AWFUL. SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

[10/06/2012 05:32:51 | Edited 05:33:00] John Egbert: she was thinking about her parents and how they grew to love each other over time, obviously.

[10/06/2012 05:33:37] Karkat Vantas: TRUE. BUT HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? AND THEIR PROPOSAL WAS UNDER COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES.

[10/06/2012 05:33:40] John Egbert: ew, he's not supposed to see her now. their wedding is so gonna fail.

[10/06/2012 05:34:11] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY! THE BRIDE AND GROOM DON'T SEE EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING. IF IT WASN'T GOING TO FAIL BEFORE, IT DEFINITELY WILL NOW.

[10/06/2012 05:35:10] Karkat Vantas: WOW, LISTEN TO THESE TWO.

[10/06/2012 05:36:03] Karkat Vantas: THEY ARE SO OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE. WOW.

[10/06/2012 05:36:21] John Egbert: oh, thank god.

[10/06/2012 05:36:29] Karkat Vantas: AT LEAST SHE ADMITTED IT.

[10/06/2012 05:37:10] John Egbert: still, that's awful. forgetting how to love someone and just kind of falling out of it over the years.

[10/06/2012 05:37:13] John Egbert: :(

[10/06/2012 05:39:39] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, I COULDN'T IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE. IT WOULD BE TERRIBLE, FOR SURE. BUT FROM THE SOUNDS OF IT, THEY WEREN'T VERY COMPATIBLE FOR A LONG TIME, THEY JUST NEVER REALLY STOPPED TO QUESTION ANYTHING.

[10/06/2012 05:40:17] John Egbert: i guess. ugh.

[10/06/2012 05:40:28] John Egbert: and yeeeeeees, the mad dash to stop the wedding.

[10/06/2012 05:40:41] John Egbert: always a highlight.

[10/06/2012 05:41:13] Karkat Vantas: WELL AT LEAST HER WHOLE FAMILY OBJECTED TO THE WEDDING.

[10/06/2012 05:41:29] Karkat Vantas: BUT HER VIEWS ON LOVE ARE ALL COMPLETELY INACCURATE.

[10/06/2012 05:42:20] John Egbert: noooo, j-lo. she's totally wrong.

[10/06/2012 05:43:00] John Egbert: there's totally such a thing as fairytale style love.

[10/06/2012 05:43:18] John Egbert: though she's right about love at first sight. that's basically bullshit.

[10/06/2012 05:43:58] Karkat Vantas: THEY ARE BOTH COMPLETELY ACCURATE AND VALID FORMS OF LOVE, ALRIGHT? EVEN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

[10/06/2012 05:44:47] John Egbert: bluuuuh. if you say so. it's never happening to me, anyway.

[10/06/2012 05:45:18] Karkat Vantas: FOR SOME PEOPLE IT DOES, THOUGH. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

[10/06/2012 05:46:09] John Egbert: i am kind of skeptical about that. it's a nice idea, but it seems so unlikely.

[10/06/2012 05:46:35] John Egbert: awwww, nice ending. but overly-sappy, even for a romance.

[10/06/2012 05:47:42] Karkat Vantas: IT MAY SEEM UNLIKELY, BUT I THINK THAT SOME PEOPLE JUST HAVE THAT FEELING DEEP DOWN WHEN THEY FIRST MEET SOMEONE. BUT I GUESS THIS IS JUST A MATTER OF OPINION. NOT LIKE THERE'S ANY WAY TO PROVE OR DISPROVE ANY OF THIS.

[10/06/2012 05:49:00] Karkat Vantas: I THINK IT WAS A GOOD ENDING. THEIR FIRST KISS IN THE PARK, THE SAME PLACE THEY WENT ON THEIR FIRST DATE. THOUGH THEY COULD HAVE GIVEN A LITTLE MORE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER, I THINK IT WAS NICE THAT THE FILMMAKER GAVE THE AUDIENCE SOMETHING OPEN, SO THEY COULD THINK OF WHAT THEY DID THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF HAVING IT COMPLETELY SET IN STONE.

[10/06/2012 05:49:01] John Egbert: yeah, probably not! at any rate, it's obvious i am not the sort of person who would pick up on that sort of thing.

[10/06/2012 05:49:30] Karkat Vantas: OH FUCK NO, I HIGHLY DOUBT YOU'D EVER NOTICE IF THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, HA HA HA HA.

[10/06/2012 05:49:37] John Egbert: they should have shown them getting married like a year later, aww.

[10/06/2012 05:50:04] John Egbert: who knows, MAYBE IT DID.

[10/06/2012 05:50:42] John Egbert: but i doubt it. i am fairly certain falling in love with you was more of a gradual thing.

[10/06/2012 05:51:01] Karkat Vantas: WELL WE CAN JUST IMAGINE THEIR WEDDING INSTEAD. SMALL, LIKE THEY BOTH WANTED OF COURSE. FAMILY AND MAYBE A FEW FRIEND ATTENDING.

[10/06/2012 05:53:02] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, IT WAS DEFINITEY A GRADUAL THING FOR ME, TOO. GOD, REMEMBER HOW WE WERE WHEN WE FIRT MET? I ALREADY HAD YOU PEGGED AS A MORONIC DIPSHIT WHO KNEW JACK ABOUT ANY ROMANTIC FILMS BASED ON OUR FIRST FEW CONVERSATIONS. AND LOOK HOW THAT TURNED OUT, HA HA.

[10/06/2012 05:55:01] John Egbert: i dunno, i kinda liked you from the begining. not for any of the right reasons,  but still.

[10/06/2012 05:55:10] John Egbert: you were so entertaining, hehehe. *prods*

[10/06/2012 05:58:30] Karkat Vantas: OH, WELL I AM SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SO MUCH ENTERTAINMENT THEN. *nudges back* YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, WERE COMPLETELY INFURIATING. BUT I SUPPOSE YOU DID HAVE ENOUGH GOOD QUALITIES THAT I STILL WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH YOU. *smirks*

[10/06/2012 06:01:29] John Egbert: oh man, you mean i have good qualities? *snorts*

[10/06/2012 06:01:55] John Egbert: or are you just talking about my dashing good looks? i will admit those must have been quite the incentive.

[10/06/2012 06:04:43] Karkat Vantas: *rolls his eyes* OH OF COURSE, YOUR SMOULDERING GAZE IS WHAT COMPLETELY DREW ME IN. ONE LOOK IN THOSE EYES AND THERE WAS NO GOING BACK. *mumbles* THOUGH THAT'S ACTUALLY HALF TRUE. *clears his throat* THOUGH YES I GUESS THERE ARE A COUPLE OF GOOD QUALITIES YOU SPORT, WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR MOST PEOPLE.

[10/06/2012 06:07:12] John Egbert: pfft, you're so negative about people! everyone has good qualities, dude.

[10/06/2012 06:07:22] John Egbert: you just need to know where to look!

[10/06/2012 06:08:33] Karkat Vantas: MAYBE I COULD STAND TO LOOK A LITTLE HARDER FOR THESE. YOU DEFINITELY SEEM TO BE GOOD AT FINDING THEM, AT ANY RATE.

[10/06/2012 06:10:29] John Egbert: yeah, i mean. i found them in you! and you're full of shitty qualities.

[10/06/2012 06:10:39] John Egbert: *more gentle prodding*

[10/06/2012 06:13:34] Karkat Vantas: OH, OF COURSE. HOW COULD YOU FIND ANYTHING GOOD BURIED IN ALL OF MY BULLSHIT? YOU MUST HAVE HAD TO PICK THEM OUT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS AND TWEEZERS.

[10/06/2012 06:14:26] Karkat Vantas: *gives another slight nudge in return*

[10/06/2012 06:14:53] John Egbert: yeah, that is an accurate description of what happened. soooooo accurate.

[10/06/2012 06:17:23] John Egbert: *grabs onto his hand in what is vaugely supposed to be keeping him from any more nudging, but carries on holding it*

[10/06/2012 06:20:26] Karkat Vantas: OH YES, INDEED. MEANWHILE I WAS OVER HERE PICKING THROUGH YOUR OWN DICKASS ATTITUDE WITH A FINE-TOOTHED COMB. THOUGH YOU KNOW, I HIGHLY DOUBT YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT ONE OF THOSE EVEN LOOK LIKE. *gives a small smile as he quits nudging him, entwining their finger together slightly*

[10/06/2012 06:21:26] John Egbert: i don't, actually. are they different to regular combs?

[10/06/2012 06:23:21] Karkat Vantas: *snorts* THEY LOOK LIKE REGULAR COMBS. EXCEPT YOU KNOW, WITH FINER TEETH. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BRUSH THROUGH HAIR BETTER, APPARENTLY. THUS THE METPHOR.

[10/06/2012 06:23:43] John Egbert: oh, also! is you brushing my hair still going to be a thing?

[10/06/2012 06:23:50] John Egbert: oh, i see. boooooring.

[10/06/2012 06:24:58] Karkat Vantas: OF COURSE IT IS. I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE IT'S DONE RIGHT AT LEAST ONCE.  YOU DIDN'T LOSE YOUR BRUSH, DID YOU?

[10/06/2012 06:26:16] John Egbert: of course not, how could i lose such a magnifient brush? uh... i think it's on the floor somewhere. *rolls off reluctantly to pick it up*

[10/06/2012 06:28:01] Karkat Vantas: ON THE FLOOR, I SEE. BEST PLACE TO KEEP A BRUSH. DEFINITELY NOT WITH THE REST OF YOUR HYGENE PRODUCTS, OH NO! WHAT AN AWFUL IDEA! *watches as he goes off to get it*

[10/06/2012 06:29:16] John Egbert: *jokingly* what other hygine products? *hands it to him, pulling a face* do you actually want to do this? hahaha.

[10/06/2012 06:32:28] Karkat Vantas: *gives another eye roll as he accepts the brush* YES, YES I DO 'ACTUALLY WANT TO DO THIS'. GOD, JUST HOW TANGLED IS YOUR HAIR GOING TO BE? HOPEFULLY CON AIR KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WHEN THEY MADE THIS BRUSH, HA HA. JUST COME HERE AND STOP COMPLAINING, MAKE AS MANY FACES AS YOU WANT, I'M STILL GOING TO DO THIS.

[10/06/2012 06:34:20] John Egbert: bluh, okay. *sits cross-legged on the floor just in front of him, rolling his eyes* i dunno! it shouldn't be TOO bad. i mean, my hair's fairly short.

[10/06/2012 06:37:12] Karkat Vantas: TRUE. BUT AS I'VE MENTIONED BEFORE, IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOUR SCALP IF YOU DON'T BRUSH ENOUGH. YOU CAN GET A BUILDUP OF DANDRUFF, WHETHER OR NOT YOU WASH YOUR HAIR. *begins to pull the brush through his hair* THIS IS BETTER THEN TRYING TO EVER COMB THROUGH RAPUNZEL'S HAIR THOUGH, THAT'S FOR SURE.

[10/06/2012 06:38:15] John Egbert: yeah yeah, whatever. like i give a crap about that stuff.

ouch.

[10/06/2012 06:38:51] John Egbert: well, yeah. rapunzel's hair was so impractical, omg. i kind of liked it more short, actually.

[10/06/2012 06:41:35] Karkat Vantas: YOU SHOULD. IF YOU DON'T BRUSH THE DEAD SKIN CELLS AND LOOSE HAIRS OUT I'M JUST SAYING IT'S NOT THAT HEALTHY. *keeps going, making sure to brush through a few tangles gently but firmly*

[10/06/2012 06:41:52] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, COMPLETELY IMPRACTICAL. I'M SURPRISED IT DIDN'T GET CAUGHT ON MORE THINGS, HONESTLY.

[10/06/2012 06:43:58] John Egbert: *wriggles slighlty, but makes no real move to get away*

hahaha, yeah. in real life it'd end up all muddy and full of twigs, too.

[10/06/2012 06:49:13] Karkat Vantas: *chuckles a little as he brushes it through a few more times, making sure all of the knots are gone* ALRIGHT, I THINK I AT LEAST GOT THE TANGLES SORTED OUT. NOT THAT IT MATTERS MUCH IF WE'LL BE GOING TO BED, BUT AT LEAST THEY'LL BE GONE FOR A LITTLE BIT. *sets the brush down, pausing for a minute before running his fingers through his hair a little* WOW, IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE, TOO! YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO DO THIS SOMETIME. I LEARNED WHEN I WAS THREE.

[10/06/2012 06:53:50] John Egbert: i know HOW to, i just can't be bothered. *leans backwards so that his head is resting in karkat's lap* but fine, maybe i'll do it a little more. like, once a week.

[10/06/2012 06:57:06] Karkat Vantas: ONCE A WEEK IS DEFINITELY A STEP UP FROM THREE WEEKS, I'D SAY. THOUGH STILL A BIT LESS THEN A NORMAL HUMAN BEING. *leans down to press a kiss to hi forehead* BUT I GUESS I CAN'T COMPLAIN.

[10/06/2012 06:59:43 | Edited 06:59:53] John Egbert: *tries to angle his head to kiss karkat on the lips, but can't seem to reach properly. buh.* normal human being is such an exageration. i bet there are a whole bunch of people who're the same.

[10/06/2012 07:02:26] Karkat Vantas: YOU'RE ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE I KNOW WHO DOESN'T, AT LEAST. YOU RUN A BRUH THROUGH YOUR HAIR A COUPLE OF TIMES IN THE MORNING AND DONE. NOT SO HARD, IS IT? *smiles as he leans over and angles himself a bit more, giving him that kiss on the lips*

[10/06/2012 07:05:07] John Egbert: fine, i GUESS. *grins into the kiss* heheh, it's kind of like spiderman. only not really at all.

*stands up with a quick stretch* so, i'm gonna get into bed. you comming?

[10/06/2012 07:07:58] Karkat Vantas: *laughs after they pull apart* CLOSE ENOUGH. I DON'T THINK EITHER OF US CAN HANG FROM THE CEILING, AT ANY RATE.

*stretches slightly as he gets up as well* NAH, I THINK I'LL HEAD ON BACK TO MY ROOM TONIGHT. KIDDING, OF COURSE. I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

[10/06/2012 07:10:27] John Egbert: yeah, you better be. because as we've established it is not as if you have any choice, at all. *climbs in, deliberately leaving practically no room for the other boy*

[10/06/2012 07:13:46 | Edited 07:17:11] Karkat Vantas: OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I ALMOST FORGOT I WAS STARTING TO DEVELOP STOCKHOLM SYNDROME HERE, HA HA HA. *stares down at him for a moment before jumping up, landing right on top of him* NOT GOING TO LEAVE ANY ROOM, HUH? I THINK I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. *tries to make himself as heavy on top of him as possible* READY TO SCOOT YOUR ASS OVER YET, FUCKNUTS?

[10/06/2012 07:16:13] John Egbert: ugh! get off me, fatty. i'm gonna die.*clearly doesn't actually care, giggling and trying to wriggle out the way*

[10/06/2012 07:19:04] Karkat Vantas: NOPE, NOT GOING TO MOVE. YOU WILL BE CRUSHED UNDER MY ENORMOUS GIRTH. YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE TAKING UP THE WHOLE BED! *unable to keep a straight face anymore as he doesn't budge, but eventually rolls a bit to the side so he can move*

[10/06/2012 07:22:03] John Egbert: oh dang. please, forgive me. i clearly wasn't thinking straight! *moves to one side, but not all that far, sticking close to karkat.*

[10/06/2012 07:25:14] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T KNOW, I'M GETTING PRETTY DAMN COMFORTABLE UP HERE. THOUGH I SUPPOSE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOU JUST THIS ONCE. JUST THIS ONCE THOUGH. MAYBE. *attempts to squeeze down next to him on the bed*

[10/06/2012 07:30:48] John Egbert: hehehe, okay. in all fairness, i don't think the bed is designed for two. *moves over and settles down next to him, yawning.* well, night dude.

[10/06/2012 07:34:03] Karkat Vantas: WELL IT'S A GOOD THING I'M SO COMPACT THEN. YOU CAN HAVE MOST OF THE BED ANYWAYS. *settles down with him, snuggling down under the blanket* GOOD NIGHT TO YOU TOO, JOHN.

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

relevant! 

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

POST-DANCE MAKEOUTS WITH JOHN AND KARKAT

[[Okay so. 

REMEMBER WHEN WE HAD THAT PROM NIGHT AND JOHN AND KARKAT DECIDED TO MAKE OUT FOR A BIT AFTERWARDS???

WE FINALLY FINISHED IT?!

contains butttouching, eye contact and awkward painful mishaps.

the bit at the dance that serves as the prelude is also included]]

"Hush, Karkat. My hummingbird. You compare to her in every department. You compare to everyone in every department. You're pretty much just the best. In all of the departments. All of them." Wow, how very coherent of John. But you know, he didn't care about making sense right now he was just holding Karkat and everything was perfect. Annnnd then the song was coming to a close. He held onto him for a few moment longer, before reluctantly letting go.

With each word, Karkat's heart beat a little faster. Jesus, he'd have to remember to stop denying John's compliments before he got all sappy like this. But sappy was good. Great, in fact. God, he was the luckiest guy in the world, he really was. Everyone else and their significant others just didn't know what they were missing in their lives. Not that he'd ever let anyone else find out. He really hoped so, anyways. "God, you're too fucking sweet, just listen to yourself." He was smiling the whole time, and it was audible in the way he spoke. As the song drew to a close, he held on as long as he could before he felt John pulling away. He slid his hands down from his neck and he lifted his head up, glancing around. Where had everyone else disappeared to? Shit, was the dance over?

Yeah, he probably was. John seemed to have a tendency to get horribly sappy when it came to Karkat. Horribly, horribly sappy. But it was totally worth it for Karkat's reactions. And it was usually all true, besides. "Pfft, you love it. There is never too much sweetness for you, ever." He paused for a second, also looking around. Woah, they were the last ones there. The DJ was looking sort of impatient. Hahaha. "Come on then dude, let's split. You should like, come back to my dorm and stuff."

He gave a quick roll of his eyes, unable to remove the smile from his face. "Okay, there might be just a small nugget of truth in that. But just a small one." Not true one bit, Karkat. Denial, of course. And shit, the DJ was definitely giving them the stink eye. "Yeah, okay. That doesn't sound too bad," he replied, reaching down to grab his hand. Finally, soon he'd be out of these fucking shoes. Or maybe a little sadly instead.

"Hahaha, bullshit. More like a huuuuuuge nugget." He grabbed Karkat's hand and dragged him off the floor, bending down to pick up his own shoes on the way. Yeah, he wasn't putting those things back on. And they'd only been tiny heels! Poor Karkat.

"In your dreams, maybe," he laughed, allowing himself to be dragged. However, this time, his feet were definitely not as coordinated as they had been the rest of the night. Not that they were really coordinated at all anyways. His left foot bent at and awkward angle and came down a little too sharply, and after a moment there was a loud SNAP. "Oh JESUS FUCK!" he shouted loudly, the heel cracking in half like a toothpick as he went tumbling to the floor. He quickly sat back up, glaring at the broken shoe. Fuck, fuck, fuck, did his ankle hurt. Not only were his feet burning, but now this? He gingerly reached out and touched it, feeling around in case he broke something. Each poke hurt, but he could tell that nothing serious was wrong with it. It was probably just a sprain. Great. "Holy shit did that hurt," he grumbled, kicking both shoes off. Good riddance. "Ugh, could you help me up? I might have little trouble getting back to the room. You're going to have to support me."

John laughed. He laughed so hard. Those stupid shoes had been an accident waiting to happen! Okay, right. He really needed to treat this with the appropriate seriousness. "Shit, are you okay?" There really was SOME concern, mixed in with a large amount of amusement. He leaned down and offered a hand to pull him up, still sniggering a tiny bit.

Karkat rolled his eyes, huffing a little with about the laughter. He could at least pretend to be a little worried. What if he actually /had/ broken his ankle? But whatever, he would take what he could get. He reached out and took his hand, Using the other to pull himself up. "Yeah, yeah, I'm just fine," he growled, setting his left foot down carefully. He tried to take a step on it, shifting his weight to it. Bad idea. He almost went down again, but he'd kept ahold of John. "God dammit, this is just perfect."

He put Karkat's arm over him, trying to prop the other boy up. "Hahaha, I warned you about heels. I told you, dog! ...Can you still walk, or do you need to lean on me the whole way? Or will you need to hop?" He face broke into a michievous grin. "Am I gonna have to carry you?"

He gave him a playful punch with his free hand, laughing for a moment. "I still stand by my statement that they were a good idea. Even after this," he chuckled, looking down at his feet again. He tried shifting his weight onto his foot again, and with a wince he was pretty sure he was not getting very far on that thing. "Just..let me lean on you, I think I can walk back still," he replied, completely bluffing. But there was no way in hell he was going to ask for any more than that. He could definitely toughen though it. Totally.

"Fuck that. I saw your face just then, and there is no way you're getting anywhere on that dumb foot of yours. Come here." Yup, John was going to carry him. Karkat was pretty light, how hard could it be? Besides, it'd be just like in the movies. He kept one arm around Karkat's back, then used the other to try and scoop up his legs, bridal-style. Okay, wow, this was a lot harder than it looked.

Karkat had been about to complain and mention that he was in prime walking condition, but then he felt John's arm around his back and before he knew it he was being scooped up into the air. "FUCK! If you're going to do that you need to warn me, okay?" he sounded just a bit startled as he clung to him for dear life, as if he were going to fall straight down again. "Do you even think you can make it all the way back to your room like this?"

Hmmm. Was he sure he even could? "Uh... probably! It'll be fine," he insisted, "and sure, I can warn you next time. But you know, hopefully this won't have to be too regular a thing!" And he headed out of the gym clumsily, both of their shoes just left abandoned on the floor. Pssh, well. It wasn't like they'd wear them again, right? And they could always come collect them later, he guessed.

"Alright, if you're sure," he conceded, incredibly glad that eveyrone else had left so they wouldn't have to see this display. Except the DJ. But he'd seen enough tonight, this probably didn't even phase him anymore. He held on tight as John began moving, not really liking the fact that he couldn't do much to help. Did willing himself to be just a little bit lighter help? Probably not, but it made him feel the tiniest bit better about it. "...Thanks," he mumbled, tempted to hide his face against his shoulder in shame. In this position he was incredibly glad he'd worn a long dress. Thank god.

Carrying Karkat all the way back was kind of hard! Not that he was heavy, but it made his arms ache a bit after a while holding him up like that. Still, it was kind of awesome. They were like Shrek and Fiona, haha. Wait, weren't they supposed to be Donkey and Shrek? Eh, who the hell cared. It was a great relief though, when he finally reached their dorm room. Thank god the boys rooms were on the first floor. And thank god Sollux wasn't around. Maybe he'd anticipated John bringing Karkat back here, he laughed to himself, dumping Karkat unceremoniously onto the bed.

The journey back had been rather uneventful, Karkat really unable to make any other comments or remarks as they continued the trek back. They made it into the room, and Karkat found himself pretty carelessly dropped onto the bed. "Well fuck you too," he whined, though he was obviously not upset at all. He was sure John had just wanted to rid his arms of their load as soon as possible. He could live with that. At least he'd chosen the bed and not the floor to dump him on. Wonderful job, John. Simply wonderful.

"Oh what, that's how you thank me for carrying me all the way back? Show some damn gratitude, dorkdumpling." He folded him arms and tried to look severe, but it was pretty obvious he was still smiling. Damn. He sat down on the bed next to him heavily with a sigh, leaning over to ruffle his hair. "Haha. So..."

"Oh, right, I suppose I could give you a small bit of gratitude for not dropping me, even though I said I could walk back myself," he have a small chuckle, shifting himself up so he could be seated next to him (being careful not to bump his feet against anything), grinning as he shoved his arms away from his head. After his quiet laugh, he glanced down at his feet for a moment. "Hahaha. Yeah..." he sort of laughed in response, looking up at him. Was it okay to kiss now? Was that something that was alright? Because damn if their last kiss during the dance hadn't been near long enough. And you know, it's not like they were in public anymore. And if John was going to object, well then too fucking bad for him. Besides, he thought it was about time he initiated one. He leaned up as casually as he could (which wasn't really all that casual considering the height difference), and pressed their lips together.

John pressed back eagerly into the kiss. Yeah, okay. This was essentially the best possible way for Karkat to be 'showing some gratitude'. It struck him that this was actually the first time Karkat had kissed him. Guh, about time too. It was nice knowing it wasn't just him who wanted to kiss 24/7. The height difference wasn't quite as prominent when they were sitting down, which was definitely a nice change from the norm. Haha, he'd have to make sure he was the same level as Karkat more often, he thought, as he slipped an arm round his waist again.

Yeah, okay, it looked like this had been a good idea after all. As he felt the other press back, he began moving his lips against his. Maybe this time they'd be able to find something of a rhythm between them? Not likely, but it still felt good anyways. He leaned in a little closer, slowly moving his arms around him. He turned his torso to face him more, making the angle a little better. Though it was already better than usual, considering their sitting height was a lot closer than their standing height. His eyes began to close, wondering if it was alright to go a little further. John had gotten to explore his mouth (if not a little too thoroughly), and he wanted a chance too. That was okay, right? His tongue slid forward cautiously, poking a bit at his lower lip to ask for entrance. That's how it was done, right? He knew better than to try what John had previously.

He let his eyes flutter shut, twisting his torso in the same manner. Oh yes, he'd been giving Karkat small kisses and had totally been anticipating finally getting to kiss him properly all night. And wow, he thought they were getting better at this whole kissing thing? But then, they'd had a little practice now, and John was trying to pay more attention to what Karkat was doing instead of just pushing ahead with his own thing. Instead, it was Karkat pushing ahead, which was a great change of pace. And woah, was that his tongue? Oh, hell yes. Right, how to show you were most certainly receptive to this stuff. John just sort of open his mouth? Possibly a little too widely, but never mind. At least the message was clear!

Okay, good. John definitely seemed like he was receptive to his advance. Almost a little too receptive, as he could feel just how far he opened his mouth. Well, at least his movement wouldn't be hampered? They would probably both wind up adjusting their mouths as he proceeded, anyways. He was a little nervous, not quite sure what he was doing, but he figured just sliding it in in one swift motion would be best. He made sure not to go in too far, wondering what to do now. He pressed his body a little closer as he began to explore. His tongue pressed against the roof of his mouth, holding it there a moment before going back down to touch it with his tongue. That had felt the best last time, and it still felt as good as he remembered. It felt a lot different being the one with his tongue in the other's mouth, definitely weird, and he really had  no clue what he was supposed to be doing, but as he ran his tongue along the side of John's he definitely didn't care as the electric sensation seemed to spread through his chest as well.

John wasn't really all that sure what he should do himself while Karkat probed around his mouth, but damn if it didn't feel good. Like woah. Karkat was definitely a better kisser than he was. Was he just naturally better at this stuff, or had he been reading some kind of instruction manual? Did kissing come with a manual? Maybe he should try Wiki-How. Kanaya had mentioned it giving how-tos on a variety of romantic situations, haha. Right, okay. He should proooobably start moving his tongue, too. John lifted it up to meet Karkat's, moving it in like, a kind of circular motion? Haha, he didn't have a clue what he was doing, but practicing a whole bunch was definetely going to be fun. He rested his free hand on the back of Karkat's head, stroking his hair with his thumb. He was fairly certain that was a thing people did, and besides, his hair felt really nice.

He was a little worried when John didn't do anything at first, but when he brought his tongue up to meet his, any worry or other feelings were completely tossed out the window. God damn, even though as they both moved their tongues in slightly different patters, the contact was almost intoxicating. And now that they were alone, without anyone to bother them, and definitely no one to throw water on them, he would definitely try his hardest to make this kiss worth it. He almost wanted to slide onto his lap to make the height difference almost nonexistant, but with John's poor choice in dresses he thought it might be the tiniest bit uncomfortable. He continued moving his tongue, trying to keep constant contact with his, unable to hold back a quiet, pleased sound. Ugh, being quiet was hard.

He was moving his tongue with a lot more confidence now, pushing back against Karkat's and tracing its sides, kind of like Karkat had been doing with him because holy shit did that feel nice. And then Karkat let out another little noise and he could kind of feel the vibrations from it which was really fantastic and John felt like he'd totally hit the jackpot. Like, he'd been waiting for a chance to get Karkat to do that again ever since that first kiss which had been so rudely interrupted, and it was just as awesome the second time. Damn, Karkat was great. The arm he had around him tightened to pull their bodies tighter together and his mind dimly registered the face that him and Karkat were still wearing dresses. Hahaha, oh man. It hardly mattered right now.

Oh. Dear. God. Okay, John was now doing this thing with his tongue where he was sliding it along the side of his, similar to what he had been doing before. And that made any other feeling feel like a dull buzz in the back of his mind in comparison. He wasn't able to hold back another sound, a small moan that vibrated between their lips. His ears burned with embarrassment, unable to hide it. John wasn't making a sound at all, and here he was making all sorts of little sounds. And he was even trying to hold it back! He'd be even more vocal if he wasn't feeling slightly embarrassed by it. His tongue continued to move against his, small sighs and quiet moans slipping between them as he held on tighter, sliding his hands up to knit gently into his hair. It was just the tiniest bit sticky, but he didn't mind at all. He could care less about anything right now that wasn't their mouths connecting.

Oh, wow. Wow. Just wow. He was definitely doing something right here because Karkat was being, like, kind of noisy? Which made sense, since Karkat was alway pretty noisy. Hehehe. He was a lot noisier than him, anyway. John found he wasn't quite sure whether he should be letting low some quiet groans himself, but it felt kind of weird trying to do something like that as he was reasonably sure you weren't supposed to force it. And anyway the point was this was just another thing about Karkat that he decided was completely great, and he couldn't just hear him moaning, he could sort of feel it too and guh. Perfect. If it weren't for the fact that John didn't want to pull away from him for a second, he'd totally inform him of this fact. He wondered if pulling him so that they'd be lying down facing each other would be okay, and tried giving him a light nudge in that direction. Subtle was totally something he could do! Maybe.

This was really, really great. The sensations of their tongues touching and even the sounds hovering between their lips was more than Karkat was used to. But that didn't mean it was a bad thing at all, far from it. It was a little difficult sneaking breaths in, but he really didn't want to pull away from him. Especially for something as simple as just breathing, anyways. His eyes opened partway as he felt John nudging them back a little. Oh god, that might be even better, that would definitely give them a better angle to face each other with. Good thinking for once, John. He slowly and carefully eased them down, both to keep their mouths from parting and also to keep his ankle from moving too much as they shifted positions slightly. As they touched down on the bed, Karkat wasted no time in pulling himself closer to the other. In the back of his mind he vaguely wondered if this would be any easier with one on top of the other rather than laying side by side, but that would probably require breaking the kiss off for a moment. He might consider it in just a bit, but right now he was too distracted as his tongue began exploring a bit again.

He opened his eyes a bit as they moved, since wow it would probably be a bad idea to not look and see what was going on, but they made it down with relative ease. Yup, the shift in positions had been a huge improvement, even if trying to get into it was a little awkward. Much less strain on the neck, and so much more closeness. It was really cool having Karkat actually take the initiative, too. He needed to be in control more often. Especially since he was a hell of a lot more competent, haha. John manoeuvring them would have been an accident waiting to happen. Right right, time to focus on the kissing. It was easy to forget this was supposed to be a two-way thing what with Karkat sort of dominating the kiss. He pushed his tongue forward again, making sure not to just shove Karkat's out of his mouth.

He couldn't help but focus his eyes on John's as they slid down, enjoying the brief glance. He was almost tempted to just keep them open once they hit the bed, and he did for about a minute, but he didn’t think it was very appropriate. After all, if movies were anything to go by, the eyes were usually closed most of the time. But that was probably just because other people didn’t have eyes quite like John’s. He stared for just a moment longer before they fluttered shut again, gently threading his fingers through his hair as they began to turn their attention to the kissing again. While being inside John’s mouth was definitely nice, he wanted to give John a shot at his again too. That was okay, right? Alternating? He was still just a bit worried that he might not be enjoying this quite as much, because he really wasn’t making much noise at all. He slowly slid his tongue back (though with John pushing on his tongue it wasn’t that difficult), not quite all the way, but he just let it linger between his lips. Was this how you tried inviting the other over to your mouth instead? Jesus, he really had no idea how he was supposed to do that without actually saying it.

Yeah, John definitely enjoyed their moment of eye-looking-into. He could just stare at Karkat's eyes all day, probably. He wondered if Karkat was serious when he'd said something along those lines. Maybe they actually should take time out later to just gaze at each other. Lol, that would probably be weird. So he closed them again once they actually made it to the bed, his arms still wrapped around his waist. Well, maybe a little lower than his waist. But oh hey, it looked like Karkat was still receptive to John poking his tongue forward. That was good. At least, he assumed that was what it meant, since he wasn't pulling back entirely? Slowly, cautiously, he sliped it into Karkat's mouth, deciding there was no reason to risk possibly ruining everything with another slip-up. It was going so well, after all.

Okay, this was good. John picked up on the hint, and now they had shifted into his mouth. His tongue almost instinctively pulled back in an effort to shield his throat, and he felt a little stupid for doing so. He made a slightly displeased sound as he moved his tongue forward again. He'd forgotten how different it felt with his tongue in his mouth instead, and suddenly he felt unsure of what to do with his tongue now. It just sort of hovered at the bottom of his mouth, not really moving much. John should be taking the lead now, right? Or what should he do now? He lifted his tongue slightly, still only sort of hovering. He'd felt John's hands lower a bit, but he didn't really think much of it. They hadn't encroached far enough down for him to make much of a fuss just yet.

John quickly decided there was no real reason to be TOO overly cautious. It's no like this was going to a repeat of that first kiss attempt, after all. He probed around with his tongue, running it along the roof of his mouth and slowly across his teeth. Wait, was teeth-licking even a thing people did? He wasn't sure if it was, and quickly returned to Karat's actual tongue, brushing the tips together before tracing the sides again. That had seemed to work pretty well so far, right? He kind of hoped this would distract from the fact that his hands were venturing lower, eventually coming to a rest on his ass. Hopefully Karkat wouldn't deem this a step too far and et mad. Although frankly, John didn't really care if he got mad, what with the fact that an angry Karkat was an endearing Karkat and besides he'd actually kind of wanted to do this all night. Because damn did his butt look good in that dress.

He allowed John to poke around with his tongue, relief setting in when he didn't feel it thrust down into his throat again. Yeah, there was no way he was going to let anything like that happen again. He made another sound when the other's tongue grazed across the roof of his mouth, and wow, did that feel good. When he felt it on his teeth, he waited patiently for the other to move it back into touching distance. He made another quiet groan as the tips touched, and the sensations were indeed distracting him as he didn't even notice this time as the other's hands travelled further down. That is, until they actually came to a stop on his rear end. That sensation definitely drew his attention. His eyes snapped open and he made a very disgruntled sound, his mouth reflexively closing. Oh shit, he'd closed it waaay too quickly, and he wound up biting down on John's tongue. Fuck fuck fuck, and things had been going so smoothly, too! He reluctantly pulled his head back, the look on his face something between I-can't-believe-you-just-did-that and oh-shit-are-you-okay. "Fuck, sorry," he mumbled, lowering his hands to wrap around his neck instead. He hoped in the back of his mind that once they made sure he hadn't bitten it too terribly hard they might get back to the previous act. Jesus, was there no shame? Not when it came to kissing, apparently. "Are you okay? I'm sorry about that, but you know, I wasn't exactly expecting your hands to wind up right on my ass."

The groan reverberated the two of them, and the sensation was really just great. Hahaha, John's mental vocabulary was really not up to scratch right now. But the way their mouths were working together right now was seriously freaking perfect and- ouch. Ouuuch. "Oh, shit!" he yelped, pulling back abruptly. Jesus, he'd expected Karkat to maybe pull away or give him a light smack across the head, but actually biting his tongue as a punishment for those wandering hands? Harsh. It took him a moment to realise wait, Karkat hadn't done that on purpose. "Uh, it's okay! You'll just have to make it up to me," he grinned. It still really hurt and he kind of wanted to be mad about it, but when Karkat's arms were wrapped round his neck and he was looking at him with that hilariously mixed expression and those amazing eyes of his, it was pretty much impossible. "You're ass it like a magnet, okay? It just totally drew me in and it was like I could not even control what my hands were doing! I was under the influence, and basically can't be held responsible for my actions," he paused, his expression turning sheepish, "hahaha. It won't happen again."

"And what exactly did you have in mind?" he questioned, quirking an eyebrow slightly. He really did feel badly about the whole thing, especially since he'd gone and messed up yet another kiss. Though John had nearly choked him the last time, at least it hadn't really been painful. But no, he'd just had to go and chomp down on the other boy's tongue. That was definitey worse. He gave a snort and rolled his eyes at the other's comments about his backside. A magnet, huh? He wasn't really sure if he was supposed to be flattered by that or not. And it wasn't like it'd felt bad or anything, just… weird. and different. And definitely startling. He gazed back into the others' eyes (he couldn't even stay too annoyed at this point), giving him a playful smirk. "Oh, I see how it is. There's just no way I can hold you accountable for something like that, now can I? Especially not if you couldn't control where they were going." he noticed the change in the other's expression, his smirk turning more into a small smile. "Don't worry about it. If it's that irresistible, there's not much I can do now can I? Just. Try your best to control the urge."

Okay, Karkat really needed to stop doing sexy things wth his eyebrows. It wasn't helping! He waggled his flirtatiously in return, though. "Oh, I don't knoooow. I'm sure you'll think of something." He smiled to himself, remembering a similarly flirty conversation they'd had on that 'date' of theirs. Wow, they needed to go on a proper date sometime. "Maybe you could like, just let me touch your butt some more. Or you could kiss me some more. Or maybe both, hahaha." Oh, that smirk. Why was everything Karkat did so stupidly attractive? He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Guh, Karkat. Everything about you is irresistible. Everything." He gave his ass a quick pat. Frankly it was kind of hard to tell whether Kakat was saying he was okay with this or not, so this would do. "I can resist everything except temptation!" he quoted. Where was that quote from, anyway? Mark Twain?

Oh god, not the eyebrow thing again. It had been bad enough the first time, but pulling it out now felt like a cheap shot. Mother of fuck, why was that so attractive? Simple movement of a pair of eyebrows should not look that good. He definitely must have had some practice, because he was sure it just looked stupid when he attempted it. Not that he was about to try. He couldn't stop the flush that crept onto his cheeks at his suggestions. "Well, I guess if that's all you want then I'd be happy to make it up to you," he replied, actually deciding to try that eyebrow waggle thing. He was sure it was probably the least sexy thing he'd ever done in his life. Never again. And wow, the effect of that compliment was really lost with the sudden ass pat following it. He could feel his face heat up a little more, still not sure what to think about the sensation. "Coming from the one who is truly irresistible, I highly doubt that." So, now what? Which of them were supposed to initiate any further make outs? Was he supposed to? Was John supposed to? There really should have been a manual for these sorts of situations. Chapter One: The Dos and Don'ts of Making Out.

Never mind what Karkat thought, John was convinced that eyebrow waggle was the hottest thing ever. Okay, maybe it did look a little silly. But there was something unmistakably attractive about it regardless, just as there was something unmistakably attractive in pretty much everything Karkat did. Especially right now. Which was weird since they were both wearing dresses and Karkat had never looked stupider, and John supposed it had everything to do with the fact that they were currently making out. Or at least, they had been. They should probably be getting right back onto that, because Karkat has essentially just extended an open invitation, so John wasted no time in leaning forwards and pressing their lips together again, barely waiting a moment before pushing his tongue forward once more. Hey, it was injured; it could do what it liked. It still really hurt actually, but the feeling of their tongues coming into contact made it more than worth it. John snuck an eye open, because Karkat was all flushed and adorable and who wouldn’t want to see that, and also snuck his hands back down again. Karkat had said it was fine, after all! Sort of.

Well, John certainly wasted no time getting back to the main event. Their lips had barely even made contact again before he felt his tongue back in his mouth. Did it still hurt? Was he sure he should be doing this right after that previous disaster? At least that meant it hopefully felt a bit better. And when their tongues made contact, his motions were definitely a lot more tentative and careful, keeping his mouth open just a little wider than before. It felt a bit more awkward, but he wanted to make sure he was alright. He made very small, ginger movements with his tongue, much different than before. He did want to get right back into the quicker swing of things, but he wasn't a total ass. He'd bitten his own tongue plenty of times before and knew the sting definitely lasted longer than this. He took in a sharp inhale as he felt John's hands crawl back to his butt, his eyes opening again as he did so. He resisted the urge to bite down again, opening his mouth a little wider instead. He caught John's one open eye and focused his own on it. Even just one eye open it completely drew his own to it.

Oh, oh. This was kind of different. Their movements were almost achingly slow, their tongues sliding over each other ever-so-gently. It was kind of necessary since there was still a dull pain in his tongue, and John couldn’t quite decide if the change of pace was really nice or just some form of torture, eventually settling for both. He opened his mouth more after Karkat did, quickly deciding that open mouths were good. Very good. Then shit, Karkat’s eyes were opening and he was focused on John’s sly open eye and oops, he’d been totally busted. But Karkat didn’t exactly look like he minded, and actually when he thought about it Karkat was staring way more openly. Oh boy, he could feel his face lighting up and heart hammering that was probably why you were supposed to keep your eyes closed when kissing, because holy shit this was intense and kind of embarrassing and instinct was yelling at him to just shut his stupid eye already. But he kind of didn’t want to? So he did the opposite and cautiously let the other open, gazing directly into Karkat’s eyes, which were wow really close.

 As much as he really wanted to dive right back in, this slow pacing was actually a lot nicer than he'd originally thought it would be. The flitting touches and the gentle, soft movements felt great at first, but after a bit it was becoming almost torturously slow. He fought back his urges though, deciding it would be best if John started moving more again first so he didn't accidentally wind up hurting him more. Maybe pressing against him again would make the wait a little easier? He drew himself closer again, their chests pressing together (his dress poofed out a little since he had no boobs to fill it, but that was the last thing he was noticing right now), but this really only succeeded in making him want to increase the pacing more. No no, couldn't do that. To continue distracting himself, he paid a little more attention to the fact that both of their mouths were pretty wide open now. Wow, even with the slowness it felt different than before. But it was definitely a good different. Oh shit, now John was opening his other eye and before he could close his own he really lost all desire to do so. They had never been able to observe each other this close before, and if his eyes hadn't been hypnotic before there was definitely no way he could tear them away now. Though his body was telling him to lid his eyes shut again, he shoved the urge away as he really didn't want to stop looking. And it wasn't like John had closed his eyes either, so he assumed that this was an okay thing to do.

Wow, yeah. This eye contact thing at such an intimate time was definitely pretty intense and kind of too much for John to handle without blushing furiously. And knowing Karkat could totally see him flush really didn’t help matters, haha. But fuck it, there was no way he was closing them again now, because looking into the other boy's eyes was making him feel all kinds of feelings. The whole pressing of their chests together was pretty great too and John moved forward as well, desperate to try and get that little bit closer. At this point carrying on this slow sort of kissing speed was basically impossible, John slowly starting to kiss back with more force again. Which felt really weird when they were looking at each other. But you know, in a good way. The best possible way. Even though it did hurt a tiny bit, haha.

Karkat caught John's steadily growing blush out of the corner of his eyes, his own deepening to match. Being able to see each other during this kind of thing was definitely a bit embarrassing, but he was definitely not going to close his eyes again. Being able to gaze into the other's rich blue pools was definitely something he wanted to do. Though they were already very close physically at the moment, just being able to get that small look was giving him what felt like an emotional one as well, if the feelings bubbling around in his chest were any indication. And then he started adding a bit more force to the kiss again and once more he couldn't hold back a few quiet sighs and a small moan or two. John still hadn't made much noise, what was still worrying, but as he began to push back with a little more force as well it wasn't quite as concerning. He was still being a bit gentler, though he was glad the pacing wasn't as laboriously slow anymore. His eyes didn't glance away from the other's for a moment; the eye contact did admittedly make him a lot more self-conscious of what they were doing, but that feeling was definitely overpowered by all of the others that it gave.

Keeping his eyes locked on Karkat’s without smiling or letting out a kind of happy-nervous giggle was really difficult, but John was just about managing and it gave his stomach this terrifying-but-pleasant swooping sensation in the pit of his stomach, like he was standing on top of a very high building. A feeling which only magnified when Karkat started moaning again. Wow. He seriously made the most wonderful noises and John had basically decided making him do that more often was his goal in life. Sexiest life mission ever, screw just trying to infuriate him all the time. The way they were positioned right now meant that Karkat was lying on one of his arms, though, and it was starting to ache a little. Maybe they could move a little? John started to twist his body round so he'd be lying on his back, trying to gently nudge Karkat so that he'd follow and climb on top of him? Though his hand were still glued to his ass (why would he want to move them?), so his nudging wasn't even remotely subtle. Ah well.

Having their gazes locked like this was adding an entirely new dynamic that hadn’t been present in their kisses before. Being able to see what the other was doing, while being seen yourself made Karkat feel a little vulnerable, but damn if it didn’t also give him good feeling as well. There was a warm, tingly sensation spreading itself through his chest, his own moans reverberating between them making it spread even quicker. He wondered if there was anything he could do to get John to make these sorts of noises too. But before he could begin his attempt, he felt John trying to get him to move. What? Oh, okay. He wanted him to climb on top of him. Seemed simple enough, right? Though actually trying to manoeuvre was definitely something NOT that simple. Especially when the other wasn’t trying to help much, considering his hands were not making any sort of migration away from his butt. Jesus, maybe it really was a magnet after all. He shifted himself very carefully, wincing only slightly as he moved his feet, and began to manoeuvre himself on top of the other. His lips broke away from John’s slightly, but he definitely didn’t look too pleased about that. Since the kiss was already momentarily broken,  he used this moment to move himself much quicker, giving a very small hiss as he moved his injured ankle. The frills of John’s dress pressed around him and it felt weird, especially within the confines of his own dress, but it wasn’t really that important, was it? Not when John’s lips were still there. He pressed them together again, keeping his mouth open this time to give the other better access right off the bat. He didn’t even bother closing his eyes this time, hoping the action would be acceptable.

Good, Karkat was willing enough to go along with what he wanted. Of course, the change of positions would have been so much easier if they’d just broken off the kiss to begin with, but whatever, that didn’t stop John making a brief whining noise the their lips finally did part. Woah, where had that come from? He looked a little surprised at himself, his expression quickly shifting into one of concern when Karkat let out a hiss. And not the awesome, sexy kind, an actually-in-pain one. John was about to ask if he was okay, but Karkat’s mouth was on his again before he had time to voice his concern. Not that John was really complaining! He must be okay if he was willing to jump back into things this quickly, after all. And boy, was he jumping in quickly! He didn’t even close his mouth, or his eyes for that matter. Which was a good thing, totally, and he quickly decided to just follow suit and meet Karkat’s open mouth with his, poking forward with his tongue again hastily as soon as their lips met. He kept his eyes open too, of course. Because regardless of how incredibly nervous it made him, it felt seriously good (he vaguely wondered if they’d both just be kissing in this manner often, because god he hoped so). The feeling was even stronger now that he had the other boy’s weight pressed over his body. Guh.

Oh, ohoho, okay. This was definitely acceptable. The little whine John made when he’d pulled away made the feelings pooling in his chest begin to merge with his stomach. Jesus, if this was how he sounded to the other, maybe being a little vocal wouldn’t be that bad after all. He turned the thought over once or twice before becoming instantly embarrassed again. Maybe if John made a little noise when they were actually kissing, he’d be willing to totally let himself go. But how did he get him to do that? Once again, he found himself wishing there were a manual for this sort of thing. Chapter Two: How to get your Significant Other to Make a lot of Noise When You Kiss. Wow, that would have been a long and incredibly stupid title in a book. Not that he was about to go on thinking about that much longer as he felt John poke his tongue forward again, eagerly meeting it with his own. How exactly would he go about getting John to make a few sounds as well? Time to try something a little different. He tried swirling his tongue around the other’s, definitely succeeding in making himself let out a quiet groan as his fingers made their way back to gently sift through his hair again. He bumped the edge of his glasses as he moved up and it startled him for just a moment, hopefully not making them poke the other too uncomfortably until he righted them again. Fuck was he glad John had left them on, because even though he was sure the other didn’t know it, he definitely looked even more attractive while wearing them. But John didn’t need to find out about his weird thing for glasses anytime soon. Definitely not.

John definitely liked that Karkat was being so forward, now. It had been him initiating almost every kiss they’re shared up until this session, and letting Karkat take some control was really good. Especially that thing he was doing with his tongue right now, that was great and he found himself gripping onto Karkat’s butt tighter. Oops. Ah well, that was what it were there for, right? Wow it was seriously unfair how much better at kissing he was then John. That was how it felt to him, anyway. Karkat was still dong all these little moans and groans and John was totally trying to commit each one to memory, and he was barely thinking about trying to attempt anything like it himself, now. Which was why he was a little surprised when he let out a quiet moan, just when Karkat brushed the underside of his tongue. It was really, really quiet, a rare occasion in which John was successfully subtle. Probably because he had done it totally by accident. But he picked up on his straight away, his eyes widening a little as soon as he realised that wow, that had actually come from him. He was starting to feel like he’d been invading Karkat’s mouth for too long though, and maybe it was about time they switched back again, drawing his tongue back whilst keeping their mouths connected. That was what Karkat had done, right?

Karkat made an abrupt, surprised sound as he felt John giving his rear end a firmer squeeze, definitely startled by the sudden action but knowing better than to clamp his mouth shut again. His brows furrowed slightly, and his look at the other became slightly annoyed. Jesus, that was definitely not something he was going to get used to for a while. It didn’t feel bad, just… really weird. It wasn’t like he’d ever let any hand touch his butt before let alone grab it. Was there even much butt there to grab? He blamed the dress for accentuating whatever ass he might have had. Though whatever annoyance he had quickly choked itself and disappeared the moment he heard John make that sound. His eyes widened as well as he felt John drawing his tongue back. Fuck, he really wanted to hear that again. But how? He wasn’t even quite sure where his own tongue had been when he’d let that quiet moan slip between them. He realized that John was now extending an invitation to his mouth again, and he took it gladly. Maybe exploring his mouth again would do the trick? He himself had definitely found that he was more vocal when the other had taken over, so maybe that meant it was the same? He pressed his tongue forward, following the retreating one, deciding to explore a little again. He brought only the tip to brush against the roof of his mouth before trying to lick his teeth like John had done to him previously.  He sort of liked the feel of them, but he had no idea if John liked it or not, so he decided to bring his tongue back to meet his. And fuck, he let out another small sigh as soon as they were in contact again. How come it was so easy to be vocal himself, but so difficult to get John to do the same?

Uh, oh, the open eyes thing meant that John could totally see Karkat glaring at him a little. What? It was not as if he had done at butt grabbing on purpose! He’d tightened his grasp more out of surprise than any planning, after all. He’d better be more careful next time, he guessed! Pfft who was he kidding? John was incredibly proud of Karkat’s irritated reaction and was definitely planning on doing it again. Because come on, there really was nothing more attractive than Karkat when he was that little bit pissed off. Hehehe. Yup, the fact that they were making out right now didn’t really do much to quell John’s desire to really irritate his significant other. And oh good, Karkat was in his mouth again. John couldn’t decide which way round he preferred things, but the change was definitely a good one. Karkat seemed to be copying that teeth thing he’d done earlier, which was sort of surprising since he’s assumed that was a stupid thing to do. He liked it, though. How did you signal that something was good when you couldn’t just respond with your tongue? Oh right, sound, he guessed. That was what Karkat had been doing, probably. John wasn’t sure quite how to go about doing it deliberately, and made a sort of “mmm” noise. Though he felt really silly doing so, especially with Karkat looking him in the eye as he did.

Okay, this was definitely good. As he’d ran his tongue along John’s teeth, he made a sort of noise as he’d done it. It wasn’t quite the same as the one he’d made before, but he assumed it meant something, at least. Did he want him to do it again? He pulled his tongue back again to run it along his teeth again, but really with no elegance whatsoever. He was still really new at this whole taking charge thing, and he wasn’t really sure what was good and what wasn’t. Though this had apparently been, right? Right. He brought it along both sets, top and bottom a couple of times each before delving back into the whole of John’s mouth. As much as he liked doing that, the feeling of their tongues against each other was too good to ignore for too long. Maybe he’d try the other again later. Their tongues met again, and he did his best to try and move in time with John’s. But wait, wasn’t he supposed to be the one taking charge? Right. He tried to begin his own stream of movements, though he wasn’t sure if John would be able to do much with it. He was really mostly trying to find that spot that had gotten him to make that sound again. He was definitely letting out a few quiet groans himself, feeling a bit more embarrassed with each sound with John looking him in the eye as he was. In the back of his head, his mind still dully registered that there were hands still eagerly placed on his caboose. When it wasn’t being squeezed, he didn’t really seem to mind it. It felt weird, but a good sort of weird? Oh fuck Karkat, you were not admitting to yourself that you didn’t mind having hands on your ass. Well shit, maybe you were.

Yeah, having your teeth licked was PROBABLY a weird thing to find sexy, but what the hell. Karkat seemed happy enough to comply, and he tried making a couple of other appreciative noises as he did so. Bluh, he sounded so dumb. He got the feeling this whole noise-making thing came much more naturally to his boyfriend. (He still got a brief sense of glee whenever he referred to Karkat as 'his boyfriend', even in his head.) But when Karkat finally moved away and brought their lounges together again, he didn't mind in the slightest, raising his tongue to meet the other enthusiastically. He was pretty enthusiastic about everything Karkat was doing, honestly, but he was particularly happy that Karkat was taking the lead again. They kissed for a few more moments, Karkat's movements being kind of different to previously, before Karkat's tongue brushed underneath his again, which was really nice. Before he had a chance to think that he should probably make some kind of noise again, he was already letting out a kind of sigh. John flushed, almost wanting to break the eye contact again. Oh, man.

Yes, this was definitely a good thing. Definitely, very good. It still wasn’t quite the same, but the sounds that John were making were like music to Karkat’s ears. He revelled in the fact that after what had seemed like forever, he was finally getting some sound from his significant other. He made a few noises back, and the feeling of the two of their voices mixing together was even better than when it was just him. And oh, wait, he’d heard something similar to the first sound John had made. And this time, he was sure he’d made it when he had ran it along under his tongue. Well, there was only one way to find out, wasn’t there? He ran it along the bottom of the other’s tongue again, scanning his face for any sort of reaction. Wow, that wasn’t creepy in the slightest, was it? Though it was the last thing on his mind at that particular moment. He felt like he needed to be doing more with his hands. John’s were in a nice spot for him, but his hadn’t been doing much at all. He ran them through John’s hair a little more, tugging very gently to get them even closer. Oh shit, his nose poked the edge of his frames and he was sure that they were probably poking into the bridge of John’s nose. His eyes suddenly squeezed shut as his face heated up quickly from the mistake. Way to go and make things a little worse again, Karkat.

Was being this vocal during a simple thing like kissing normal? If Karkat was this noisy now, just imagine- woah John, not going down that route, thanks. But regardless of whether it was standard or not, it was totally hot. (John got the feeling that a lot of what they were doing wasn’t totally standard since he’d never seen kisses quite like this in the movies, but hey. It worked for them and that was what was important, right?) It also definitely made him feel less embarrassed about the not-so-voluntary groan he produced when Karkat touched the underside if his tongue again. Jeez, Karkat was almost definitely doing that on purpose. He was tugging his hair too, which was surprisingly nice until he felt his glassed digging in a little too sharply. He made an annoyed sound when Karkat suddenly closed his eyes, pulling away for a second so that he could murmur against his lips. “Dammit, I should just take these stupid things off.”

Oh holy fuck, that was definitely the right spot after all. Once he’d brushed his tongue along the underside of John’s, he was making a bit more noise again. Though it still wasn’t nearly as much sound as he was making, even small ones from the other was making his head spin. It never even occurred to him that maybe kissing shouldn’t be this noisy, though that was due in part to the fact that everything was noisy for him, at least. This was no different. Damn, if these small noises sounded this good, what would it be like if he were louder? Or they were more frequent? Nope, nope, not going down this train of thought. Fuck no. Especially not in their current getup. Wait, what did that even have to do with it? The train completely derailed when he felt John pulling away slightly, his eyes opening again at the mention of removing his glasses. “No, you don’t really have to if you don’t want. I’ll be more careful. Though if you do want I mean don’t let me stop you,” he murmured back almost a bit too quickly. Wow, way to form a coherent sentence there. But how could he help it? He was still flying sky high after what had been happening right before his big mess-up.

Wow, that was probably one of the most fumbled sentences he’d ever heard Karkat make. What was the deal? Right, right, they had just been snogging pretty hard and making a whole bunch of little noises. Duh, he was going to be a little groggy. But still, Karkat was usually so eloquent! Even in that love confession of his. He paused, though. It sounded like Karkat actually didn’t want him to take them off? He’d expected him to be eager to get the glasses out of the way, so he was honestly a little surprised. A kind of grin spread across him face, “it is okay, Karkat, have no fear. I’ll only need to take my hands away for a brief moment, and then they can reclaim their position atop your rear.” Oh Jesus, that had even rhymed. John was a total genius. He gave his ass a firm squeeze, followed by a wink. “Or if you honestly can’t bear for my hands not to be on you for even a moment, you can always take them off yourself!” He was nearly a hundred per cent certain that this has NOTHING to do with it, but he was unable to resist teasing Karkat a little. Well, a lot. Karkat was just really cute when he was annoyed, and if he got thumped for this it would be worth it.

Oh god, that wasn’t why he thought he didn’t want the glasses to be taken off, did he? Because he didn’t want him to stop touching his ass? Before he had a chance to respond to his idiotic statement he gave a slight squawk of surprise as said ass was firmly groped, his eyebrows tugging down in annoyance again as he lowered his hands and gave his sides a semi-rough, semi-playful squeeze. He pressed their foreheads together, snorting. “You wish that were the reason, I’m sure. Though I’m sure you would be in far too much pain to be parted from my choice butt for even a few moments.” Holy fuck, was he really joking about his own rear? Yes, yes he was. Wow. Well, he had a couple of options. He could take John’s glasses off, he could complain enough until John took them off himself, or he could just tell him to leave them because they definitely looked great right where they were. Just the thought of mentioning his thing for glasses had his cheeks flaring a little bit again, and decided that maybe now wasn’t the best time to mention it. He could live for one make out session without them, he supposed. As much as he didn’t want to he reluctantly lifted his head far enough that he could slide them off without causing too much of a problem, folding them carefully and stretching over to set them off to the side. The front of his dress poofed! again as he settled himself back down, rolling his eyes. “There. Crisis averted. And you didn’t even have to move a muscle, you lazy ass! You should thank me.” This was probably a very inappropriate time to be making ass jokes, Karkat. It really was.

The irritated look on his face was actually even more rewarding than the act of ass-squeezing itself. “Ha, that totally IS the reason. Look how eager you were to go with my helpful alternative suggestion. Your choice butt just NEEDS to have me looking after it.” Yup, absolutely true as far as John was concerned. It was a pretty choice butt that felt rather nice to touch. John had never really thought of himself as an “ass man” (he hadn’t really thought of himself as an anything man) but it was quickly becoming apparent that he kind of was. Especially if his prior fascination with Mathew McConaughey’s pasty rear was any indication, which it totally was. But yeah, it was pretty obvious that was not the actual reason. But Karkat wasn’t explaining the actual reason? And he was kind of blushing? Not that John was able to piece what it all meant together, but it was definitely something to note! He’d ask about it later. Right now he had other things to worry about, and he was hardly paying attention to the fact that his tights were getting seriously twisted and uncomfortable, his attention was solely on Karkat. This was at least partially down to the fact that without his glasses, he couldn’t really make out much if it was more than a few inches from his face. Wow, his eyesight sucked.  “Thank you, oh great one,” he muttered, grinning up at Karkat, “how shall I ever replay you?”

Wow, this conversation was quickly taking a turn for the embarrassing. Though it had been skydiving into that territory a while ago, really. He should not have made that joke about his butt, but it was far too late now. “Oh yes, I’m completely ecstatic. I don’t know how my ass managed to survive without your hands here to keep it safe and warm.” He snorted, giving his forehead a small flick before resting them against each other. So this was what John looked like without glasses, up close and personal. He’d caught glimpses at sleepovers, but he’d never been this close. Especially since his feet would usually be where his face was right now. Though he hadn’t wanted to take the glasses away, he did have to admit that he liked being able to get this close to his eyes. Maybe taking them off just this once wouldn’t be totally horrible. He attempted another eyebrow wiggle; since he was already being silly (this one was even worse than the first holy shit how was that even possible) and not even remotely sexy. Not by any standards whatsoever. “You’re welcome. I really am great, aren’t I?” he chuckled, resting his hands around his shoulders, “Well, I don’t know. You could keep complimenting me, if you’d like. I am all about the praise. Or, you know, you could always kiss me again.” Oh wow, he hadn’t actually meant to say that last bit as quickly as he had. But oh god, did he like kissing. That was why the glasses had come off in the first place, wasn’t it? Yes. Yes it was. Fuck, could you become a kissing addict? Was that a thing that was possible?

“Yup, the greatest,” John grinned, rubbing their noses together, “more compliments, huh? Let’s see. You have a wonderful ass,” he tried not to snigger, knowing fully well that wasn’t quite the sort of compliment Karkat was going for, “it is the nicest ass I have ever laid hands on although it is also the only ass I have ever laid hands on aside from like, my own. But I don’t want to hold onto anybody else’s ass ever because holding onto it feels oh-so-perfectly right. Though, holding onto you in general feels even more completely right, hahaha.” Damn, he’d quickly managed to travel from stupid comments on his butt (that were all completely true) to sappier stuff. Oh well, might as well do this properly. “And oh hey, you know what else? I love you.” He lifted his chin up to press a quick kiss to the tip of Karkat’s nose, before deciding that maybe delivering on that second part of Karkat’s request and kissing him again. Usually he wouldn’t be so eager to appease Karkat on his whims but- oh bullshit he would totally always do anything Karkat asked. This was just something he was like, particularly happy to do.

And the compliments were, of course, about his ass. Why hadn’t he seen this coming? His rear end seemed to be the only topic of conversation at this point. His face got redder and redder with each additional comment, though his eyes widened for just a moment at the last one. That one had actually seemed a bit more romantic. He gave a soft sigh, unable to hide the small smile that had crawled onto his face when his nose had been kissed. “Know what else feels perfectly right? You do. All of you. I love you too, o righteous keeper of butts,” he snorted, unable to help himself. He never wanted to speak of his bum this much again. And then John kissed him again, and he put any thoughts about his tush on the backburner. He wasn’t quick to push with his tongue this time, figuring maybe they could build up to it a little. As nice as tonguing each other was, there was nothing wrong with this style of kissing, either. His lips were a little chapped, and he hoped the other didn’t mind it too much. He gave a soft, pleasant sigh into the kiss, fighting the instinctual urge his eyes had to close. Though his lip movements were still a bit awkward (he was still new to this after all), it still felt nice. And quite romantic, after all of that ass talk.

Conversations about Karkat’s ass would become a staple of their future interactions, John had decided. They were hilarious. ‘Righteous keeper of butts’ had a lovely ring to it. Although it wasn’t as if there were multiple butts to be keeping. Unless there were multiple Karkats. Wow, that sounded kind of awesome. What if he was dating like two Karkats at once? What if? Or maybe three, because that way when he was making out with one of them, the other two could make out with each other. Yes. Good. Very good. John quickly realised he was getting a little carried away with this elaborate fantasy scenario, and had definitely not been giving nearly enough attention to kissing the one Karkat he had in front of him. He put a little more effort into moving his lips in sync with Karkat’s before realising that shit - he’d automatically closed his eyes, too. After a moment’s hesitation, he opened them again, pleased to find Karkat’s were still open, too. Yup, kissing like this was definitely the most romantic, and he wondered vaguely why you never saw it in the movies.

Though John had originally closed his eyes, he was a bit relieved when he opened them again just as he was getting ready to close his own. Though he never ever saw people kissing like this in films or any other sort of media, he liked it. He liked being able to look into John’s eyes, and John must not have minded it too much if he kept opening his eyes as well. He felt as though he were sitting a bit awkwardly on top of him, so he figured a small shift would be easy enough to pull off. Without breaking lip contact, he began to shift himself into a better position, but all the moving had his ankle spiking in pain again. His eyes twitched slightly with the pain, and he made slight grunting sounds against the other’s lips. Fucking high heels, ruining his kissing even now. The more he adjusted, the more it hurt and even when he stopped moving the dull throbbing was increasingly distracting. Ugh, as much as he really didn’t want to, he slowly and gently pulled back again, huffing slightly as he did so. “Shit… sorry, but I don’t think my ankle’s going to agree with anything else tonight,” he sighed, the disappointment clear in his tone. He cleared his throat, carefully rolling off of John and on to the empty space next to him. “Maybe I should have taken your advice about the high heels after all.”

The pain in Karkat’s face was readily apparent, and John was concerned straight away. Oh crap, had he done something wrong? His boyfriend seemed to keep trying for a moment, before wincing again and giving up. Oh what, it was his ankle? Well, at least that put it firmly in realm of “Karkat’s fault”, which was a relief. If he’s accidentally done something to hurt him, that’d suck and he’d feel guilty. But he could deal with Karkat injuring himself. That was funny. It wasn’t funny that they had to stop kissing, though. That was the worst. John glared at the ankle for an angry moment, furious at the interruption. Not to mention the fact that the ass had escaped from him. How dare it. Karkat, why did you have to wear those stupid shoes? “I warned you about stupid shoes, bro! I told you, dog! Nah, it’s okay. Not your fault!” Haha, it totally WAS his fault. But it was okay! “My tongue was kind of starting ache, actually, hehe.” He stood up triumphantly, making a mental note to share all the detail of this encounter with Dave when he got the chance. “So, um. Do you need help getting back to your room?”

Karkat gave a sarcastic grin, slowly sitting himself up to avoid any further ankle irritation. “You did warn me about the shoes, yes. But if this was the price to pay for being the same height as you for an hour, it was worth it.” He waited as the other hopped up, wondering indeed if he would need any help getting back too. He gingerly stood up, making sure all of his weight was on his uninjured foot for the moment. He set the other forward, nearly falling but catching himself quickly as he moved the other foot up to complete the movement. Yeah, that ankle hurt like hell. Though he was sure he could make it to his room with little to no problems. It wasn’t that far down the hall (too bad they weren’t still right next door), and he didn’t know if he’d be able to survive John carrying him again. Not that it was a bad thing, it just made him feel smaller than usual. Not to mention the dress made it incredibly uncomfortable, even if it WAS a lot longer than John’s. “Nah, I think I can make it. If something happens, I’m sure you’d be able to hear it though,” he snorted, doing his best to walk straight at least to the door. It only half worked, and he definitely had a limp. He made it without falling, casually opening the door. “Good night, John. I know you love that dress, but don’t sleep in it. You don’t want to get it wrinkled, after all,” he gave one last wave and a quick smile that quickly twisted as he turned around and hobbled out the door.

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

[[ EVERY SINGLE LOG WE DO IS JUST A LONG WINDED BUILD UP TO A LOAD OF STUPID BUTT JOKES WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING ]]

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

I THINK THIS HAS SOULMATE WRITTEN ALL OVER IT, JOHN. THE SIGNS ARE ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE! BUT ESPECIALLY IN OUR BUTTS.

-karkat, on the wonders of butttouching

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

movie night 22: my best friend's girl

Karkat introduces John to the wonders of Dane Cook. And also touches his ass.

[04:03:10] John Egbert: *opens door again* yo, karkat, get in here. we have another shitty romcom to watch.

[04:04:10] Karkat Vantas: *enters, claiming his usual spot* OF COURSE WE DO. BUT I WOULD LIKE TO REPLACE THE WORD 'SHITTY' WITH 'FUCKING FANTASTIC'. I PICKED OUT A GREAT ONE THIS TIME.

[04:05:10 | Edited 04:05:14] John Egbert: *sits right up next to him, as is becominging customary* oh? do tell. what have you got for us?

[04:05:39] Karkat Vantas: TONIGHT, YOU ARE IN FOR A REAL TREAT.

[04:06:04] Karkat Vantas: MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL! STARRING THE MULTI-TALENTED DANE COOK!

[04:07:01] John Egbert: dane cook, huh? i have not actually seen much of his stuff?

[04:07:14] John Egbert: dave tells me it's total shit, but what does he know, i guess.

[04:07:26] Karkat Vantas: WE WILL HAVE TO FIX THAT. STARTING TONIGHT. I'LL HAVE TO LEND YOU SOME OF MY CDS SOMETIME.

[04:07:26] John Egbert: let's find out, hehehe.

[04:07:37] Karkat Vantas: AND DAVE CAN SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS, HE'S THE ONE WHO IS SHIT.

[04:07:48] John Egbert: i can't wait. *deadpan*

[04:08:16] Karkat Vantas: I CAN TELL. *playfully nudges*

[04:08:48] John Egbert: *nudges back, only a tiny bit harder*

[04:09:19] John Egbert: wow, what a tool.

[04:09:25] Karkat Vantas: YEP. COMPLETELY.

[04:10:25] John Egbert: does he actually think any of that's appealing, or...?

[04:10:44] Karkat Vantas: YOU'LL SEE! I'M NOT GOING TO SPOIL ANYTHING.

[04:11:27] Karkat Vantas: GOD HE IS HILARIOUS, HA HA HA HA.

[04:11:35] John Egbert: yeah, these are definetely all huge dealbreakers.

[04:13:23] Karkat Vantas: WHAT A WONDERFUL DATE. WHAT A WONDERFUL GUY!

[04:14:31] Karkat Vantas: MY GOD THERE IS NOT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET WHO IS FUNNIER THAN DANE COOK, I SWEAR.

[04:14:32] John Egbert: oh yes, absolutely. i am smitten.

[04:16:10] John Egbert: aha.

[04:16:56] John Egbert: okay, i see what is happening here. he has some dodgy job like will smith in hitch only way worse.

[04:17:05] Karkat Vantas: MUCH, MUCH WORSE.

[04:17:06] John Egbert: oh hey, kate husdun's in this?

[04:17:49] Karkat Vantas: YEP! YOU'LL SEE HER. AGAIN I WILL NOT SPOIL HER ROLE, THOUGH IT'S NOT TOO HARD TO FIGURE OUT.

[04:18:58] John Egbert: hahaha, okay. sure.

[04:19:22] John Egbert: and wow i can't believe that girl found his bullshit attractive.

[04:20:10] John Egbert: then again, you're a huge asshole too and i'm totally attracted to you. bummer.

[04:20:17] John Egbert: aww, there she is.

[04:20:59] John Egbert: pfffff, sounds like rose. ocd robot, heh.

[04:21:35] Karkat Vantas: OH, WHAT A SHITTY SITUATION YOU HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO! I AM SO SORRY THAT I'M A HUGE ASSHOLE. THOUGH IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NOT DATING AN ASSHOLE EITHER. HMMM, I FEEL MY ASSHOLE-O-METER GOING OFF AND IT'S POINTING RIGHT AT YOU, BUDDY.

[04:23:13] John Egbert: oh shit, it's like the asshole couple. instead of the jerkwad and the sweet one who balences them out, we're just both jerks.

[04:23:29] John Egbert: i'm pretty sure you're worse, though.

[04:24:10] Karkat Vantas: THIS IS DEBATABLE I THINK. NEITHER OF US ARE ON A DANE COOK LEVEL, THOUGH. LET'S JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT.

[04:24:51] John Egbert: oh shit, so this the the best friend's girl. uh oh.

[04:25:39] John Egbert: okay, true. that's probably good. though i am sure dane cook isn't so bad deep down.

[04:26:12] Karkat Vantas: OH, IF YOU'VE HEARD ANY OF HIS ROUTINES, YOU'D BEG TO DIFFER. HE IS LIKE THE ABSOLUTE KING OF ALL ASSHOLES.

[04:26:22] Karkat Vantas: BUT THAT IS EXACTLY WHY HE IS SO GREAT.

[04:26:38] John Egbert: is he your role model???

[04:27:05] John Egbert: is this the caliber of asshole i'll be seeing develop in you over the years? this is exciting. #

[04:28:12] Karkat Vantas: WELL, NO. WILL SMITH IS MY ROLE MODEL, OF COURSE. THOUGH THAT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVEN'T LEARNED A THING OR TWO FROM DANE COOK.

[04:28:52] John Egbert: yeah this sounds like the kind of shit you sometimes say, hahahaha.

[04:29:18] John Egbert: but dang, will smith is probably a better role model, i guess.

[04:30:02] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY. I MEAN, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO LIVE LIKE DANE COOK? NOT ME, FUCK THAT. HE'S FUNNY, HILARIOUS EVEN, BUT NOT WHAT I WOULD CALL ROLE MODEL MATERIAL.

[04:30:33] John Egbert: i feel like we should take a moment to appreciate how silly this guy is. the friend, i mean.

[04:30:57] John Egbert: he doesn't read the signs from her like, at all.

[04:31:21] Karkat Vantas: NOT AT ALL. AND HE'S ONLY SLIGHTLY OBSESSED WITH HER.

[04:32:23] John Egbert: yeah, creeper. you don't usually drop in the l word like that.

[04:32:56] John Egbert: though actually it had been like five weeks, so i dunno. i think he just sucks in general.

[04:34:26] John Egbert: oh, gross.

[04:34:29] Karkat Vantas: WELL, YEAH, OKAY. THAT'S TRUE. EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU USE THE L WORD TOO SOON, HA HA HA.

[04:34:42] Karkat Vantas: AND HERE BEGINS THE HORRIBLE DATE.

[04:35:23] John Egbert: yeah, a lesson will smith taught us all.

[04:36:08] Karkat Vantas: A LESSON HARD TAUGHT.

[04:36:25] Karkat Vantas: FUCK WOW SHE IS DRUNK.

[04:37:22] John Egbert: though sadly, we both totally failed to learn that lesson, lol.

[04:37:36] John Egbert: and yeah, wow. who goes on a date in that condition.

[04:38:42] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, WE COMPLETELY FAILED AT THAT, HA HA HA.

[04:39:44] John Egbert: but you know, that's because we're SOUL MATES.

[04:39:52] John Egbert: and wow, shit.

[04:39:57] Karkat Vantas: YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY- HEY.

[04:40:57] John Egbert: what?

[04:41:38] Karkat Vantas: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS OR IF YOU WERE JUST MAKING FUN OF SERENDIPITY.

[04:42:04] John Egbert: oh what? i was TOTALLY being serious.

[04:42:20] John Egbert: does serendipity even have a line about soul mates?

[04:45:22] Karkat Vantas: WELL, MAYBE. SOMETHING LIKE THAT, ANYWAYS. BUT WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE THAT ISN'T SERENDIPITY. THE FARTHEST THING FROM IT WHILE STILL BEING A ROMCOM.

[04:45:45] John Egbert: yeah, like the least romantic romcom ever.

[04:46:24] John Egbert: it's kind of funny though, i guess. does cook ever become less of an ass?

[04:47:50] Karkat Vantas: YOU'LL SEE! AND ONLY KIND OF? THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST HILARIOUS MOVIES I OWN! HE HAS BEEN A COMPLETE GOLD MINE OF HILARITY.

[04:48:01] John Egbert: oh my god, okay. that scene was more than "kind of" funny.

[04:48:22] Karkat Vantas: YES IT WAS. GLAD TO SEE YOU APPRECIATE IT.

[04:49:21] Karkat Vantas: UH OH.

[04:49:34] John Egbert: woah, did you see that assgrabbing.

[04:49:41] John Egbert: that was some serious assgrabbing.

[04:49:46] John Egbert: lol!

[04:50:11] Karkat Vantas: IT SURE WAS. I THINK WE COULD ALL LEARN A THING OR TWO ABOUT ASSGRABBING FROM HIM. HE SEEMS TO BE QUITE THE EXPERT.

[04:51:20] John Egbert: oh man, is that an invitation to grab yours less subtly in future?

[04:51:24] John Egbert: hahahahaha.

[04:51:39] Karkat Vantas: THAT'S NOT WHAT I- OH NEVERMIND.

[04:51:43] John Egbert: also, dane cook is a tool. but i think we knew that.

[04:52:22] Karkat Vantas: YES HE IS. IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE HE PRETTY MUCH PLAYS HIMSELF IN THIS MOVIE.

[04:52:45] Karkat Vantas: HIS FRIEND IS TRYING WAY TOO HARD. AND OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T SEEM TO NOTICE WHEN TO GIVE UP.

[04:53:46] John Egbert: yeah, the friend is kind of creepy. and he and her don't seem too compatible.

[04:55:13] Karkat Vantas: NOT REALLY, NO. EVEN THOUGH HE'S A ROYAL ASSHOLE EVEN DANE COOK IS MORE COMPATIBALE THAN HE IS, AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE 'NICE GUY'.

[04:55:18] Karkat Vantas: PPFFFFFFFFFT.

[04:56:32] John Egbert: he kind of takes the nice guy thing too far, though. although honestly i probably just have a thing for assholes or something. pfft.

[04:57:15] John Egbert: dane cook and her do seem pretty compatible. but then again, i doubt they'd work long-term.

[04:58:16] Karkat Vantas: A THING FOR ASSHOLES, HUH? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT, HA HA HA.

[04:58:40] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD, HE ACTUALLY JUST SAID THAT, HA HA HA HA HA!

[04:58:55] John Egbert: he reminds me of john cusack, only like super-awkward.

[04:59:31] Karkat Vantas: HE IS NOTHING LIKE JOHN CUSACK, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST TRIED TO MAKE THAT COMPARISON.

[04:59:36] John Egbert: what with the coat and the niceness and all that. only instead of it being charming it's just embarrassing.

[05:00:26] John Egbert: ew, grosssss.

[05:00:46] Karkat Vantas: AND THE CLASSIC DRIVING THROUGH THE RAIN SCENE.

[05:01:43] John Egbert: yeah, i wonder if he was based on cusack at all.

[05:01:48] John Egbert: oh SHIT.

[05:02:10] Karkat Vantas: FUCK.

[05:03:03] Karkat Vantas: WITH THAT COAT HE DOES SORT OF RESEMBLE CUSACK IN A NOT NEARLY-AS-GREAT SORT OF WAY, TOO.

[05:03:47] John Egbert: wow, what a messy situation.

[05:04:01] John Egbert: kind of like our school, only with more sex.

[05:04:06] John Egbert: hahahahaha.

[05:04:39] Karkat Vantas: WELL I WOULD HOPE SO. MOST OF US ARE ONLY FOURTEEN, HOLY SHIT.

[05:05:28] John Egbert: oh gross. this movie is kind of gross half the time.

[05:05:36] John Egbert: actually all the time, haha.

[05:07:03] Karkat Vantas: IT'S DANE COOK'S STYLE OF HUMOR. HE'S THE FUCKING RAUNCHIEST. A LOT OF PEOPLE JUST CAN'T APPRECIATE HOW FUNNY HE MAKES IT, THOUGH. IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE IT WOULD BE SHIT.

[05:07:08] John Egbert: if my dad talked to me like that, i think i'd actually be sick.

[05:07:54 | Edited 05:08:48] Karkat Vantas: WELL OBVIOUSLY HIS DAD HAD AN AFFECT ON HIM. LOOK AT THE SORT OF JOB HE SET UP FOR HIMSELF, AFTER ALL. I'M SURE HIS DAD'S INFLUENCE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

[05:08:34] John Egbert: yeah, you can kind of see that.

[05:08:48] John Egbert: but aww, he actually likes her for more than just sex, woah.

[05:09:27] Karkat Vantas: YOU COULD TELL WHEN HE DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER AFTER THAT FIRST DATE HE WAS STARTING TO DEVELOP FEELINGS FOR HER.

[05:09:56] John Egbert: wasn't that more out of consideration for her friend? i doubt he developed feelings THAT quickly.

[05:10:52] Karkat Vantas: WELL, I THINK IT WAS A BIT OF BOTH. BUT THAT WAS A BIG PART OF IT, YEAH.

[05:11:25] John Egbert: pfft, that picture.

[05:11:51] John Egbert: omg karkat, we should take one like that.

[05:12:03 | Edited 05:12:09] John Egbert: without actually fucking, i mean.

[05:12:15] John Egbert: obviously, haha.

[05:12:53] Karkat Vantas: WELL I WOULD FUCKING HOPE SO, HA HA HA. AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT ONE LIKE THAT? SHE WASN'T EVEN LOOKING ANYWHERE NEAR THAT CAMERA. I BET IT WAS A REALLY SHITTY PICTURE.

[05:13:19] John Egbert: well, i was hoping you would be more COOPERATIVE than her.

[05:13:33] John Egbert: and you know, because it would be funny?

[05:14:43] John Egbert: and wow this restaurant is hilarious.

[05:15:12] Karkat Vantas: OH, I WOULD BE MORE COOPERATIVE THAN HER, OF COURSE. I'D LOOK AT THE CAMERA OF COURSE. THEN MAYBE COVER IT WITH MY THUMB.

[05:15:41] Karkat Vantas: GOD THAT SCENE IS SO HILARIOUSLY AWFUL, HA HA HA HA.

[05:16:21] John Egbert: it was so funny, oh my god.

[05:16:31] John Egbert: though i would so eat in that restaurant.

[05:17:09] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD DEAL WITH THAT PIZZA-TOTING JESUS STARING AT ME WHILE EATING, HOLY SHIT.

[05:17:25] Karkat Vantas: AND AWW, LOOK AT THAT. HE'S STARTING TO CHANGE HIS WAYS.

[05:17:30] Karkat Vantas: A LITTLE, ANYWAYS.

[05:17:48] John Egbert: yeah, i TOLD you, dude. he has a nice side.

[05:17:56] John Egbert: they always do, okay.

[05:18:16] Karkat Vantas: THEY HAVE TO. OR YOU WOULD NEVER ROOT FOR GUYS LIKE HIM TO GET THE GIRL.

[05:19:03] John Egbert: in real life too, though! nobody is actually just a prick without ANY good qualities, right?

[05:20:02] Karkat Vantas: I WOULD CERTAINLY HOPE SO, ANYWAYS.

[05:20:24] John Egbert: and aww, this is actually a really thoughtful date.

[05:20:28] John Egbert: well, sort of.

[05:20:55] Karkat Vantas: WELL SHE NEVER GOT TO GO TO PROM. FOR GIRLS ESPECIALLY, THIS WOULD BE SUPER THOUGHTFUL.

[05:22:04] John Egbert: i know, i got that!!

[05:22:19] John Egbert: their dancing was cute, too.

[05:23:18] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, FOR SURE. THEY MAKE DANCING LOOK SO EASY. WHEN IT'S REALLY NOT.

[05:24:00] John Egbert: maybe you'd find it easier if you hadn't worn stupid shoes last time.

[05:24:43] Karkat Vantas: WELL EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME! I WASN'T ABOUT TO BE A MIDGET NEXT TO YOU IN YOUR STUPID SHOES TOO.

[05:25:47] John Egbert: i dunno, i like the color but the dress isn't that flattering in shape.

[05:26:30] John Egbert: haha, not that it really matters, i guess.

[05:26:59] Karkat Vantas: I LIKE HOW YOU PAY SO MUCH ATTENTION TO THAT, HA HA HA.

[05:27:38] John Egbert: i dunno, they were talking about it in the movie. shut up.

[05:28:40] Karkat Vantas: IF YOU SAY SO, HA HA HA HA.

[05:29:35] John Egbert: oh wow, she said "boyfriend".

[05:30:33] Karkat Vantas: SHE DID, SHE DID.

[05:30:38] Karkat Vantas: UH OH. UHHH OH.

[05:31:04] John Egbert: oh shiiiiiiiiiiit.

[05:31:09] John Egbert: that's adorable.

[05:31:43] Karkat Vantas: ISN'T IT THOUGH?

[05:32:12] Karkat Vantas: MAN, BLACK ON BLACK MAKES HIM LOOK INCREDIBLY DEVIOUS. MORESO THAN USUAL.

[05:32:35] John Egbert: yeah, total prince of darkness look.

[05:32:55] Karkat Vantas: BUT IT'S FITTING, I SUPPOSE. WITH WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO.

[05:33:10] Karkat Vantas: ESPECIALLY WITH THIS LIGHTING, SHIT THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

[05:33:31] John Egbert: this, what's he going to do?

[05:34:08] John Egbert: oh my GOD.

[05:34:14] John Egbert: noooooooooooo.

[05:34:19] Karkat Vantas: AND IT JUST. GETS. WORSE.

[05:35:08] John Egbert: woah.

[05:35:46] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD.

[05:36:58] John Egbert: this is so cringey.

[05:37:15] Karkat Vantas: THE WORST KIND OF CRINGEY, UGH.

[05:37:20] John Egbert: like wow, holy SHIT.

[05:39:07] John Egbert: tarfkjgjghgfdfds.

[05:39:17] Karkat Vantas: PFFFFT, YOU OKAY THERE?

[05:40:19] John Egbert: i'm okay! haha.

[05:40:31] John Egbert: jesus, this is dusgusting.

[05:42:20] Karkat Vantas: GOD I FORGOT HOW PAINFUL THIS WAS.

[05:42:20] John Egbert: noooooooooooooooo, dane cook.

[05:42:38] John Egbert: :(

[05:42:55] Karkat Vantas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. UGH NOOOOO JUST WHEN YOU HAD FINALLY FALLEN IN LOVE!

[05:42:56] John Egbert: shit dude do you need the tissues?

[05:43:13] Karkat Vantas: NO, NO, I'LL BE FINE. I'LL BE JUST. FINE.

[05:43:19] John Egbert: auuuuuuuuuuugh i know and she was the only person who saw the good in him.

[05:43:48] John Egbert: ahaha, if you say so. *puts an arm around him*

[05:44:29] Karkat Vantas: LISTEN TO HIM. JUST. LISTEN TO HIM. *gives a sniff as he rests against him*

[05:45:24] John Egbert: wow, it WAS pretty distressing.

[05:46:24] John Egbert: (lol karkat, they should totally do that.)

[05:46:29] John Egbert: (jk haha.)

[05:47:30] Karkat Vantas: THANK YOU.

[05:47:44] Karkat Vantas: GOD, JUST LISTEN TO HIM.

[05:48:38] John Egbert: awww, the marathon running.

[05:49:13] Karkat Vantas: HE'S TRYING SO HARD. AND AWWW, A CALLBACK TO WHEN THEY FIRST MET.

[05:49:23] Karkat Vantas: BUT IT DIDN'T GO AS WELL AT ALL.

[05:49:41] John Egbert: oh my god, i can't believe she didn't take him back after that.

[05:50:17] Karkat Vantas: WELL, HE DID DROP HIS PANTS IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER. SO I CAN SEE WHERE SHE'S COMING FROM. BUT I AGREE, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF SHE'D TAKEN HIM BACK AFTER ALL OF THAT.

[05:50:23] John Egbert: if you ruinined my sisters wedding but then did a lot of running i would totally take you back.

[05:51:58] Karkat Vantas: THOUGH I WOULD PROBABLY NEVER DO WHAT HE DID, I WOULD RUN UNTIL I DROPPED DEAD. WHICH WOULD PROBABLY HAVE BEEN A LOT SOONER THAN HE DROPPED, HA HA.

[05:52:59] Karkat Vantas: RIGHT IN FRONT OF A WHOLE RESTAURANT. WOW. BUT JUST LISTEN TO THEM, HA HA HA.

[05:53:33] John Egbert: and i'd keep running even after i died. somehow.

[05:53:44] John Egbert: oh shit, dude. they're so cute.

[05:54:23] John Egbert: *leans over and kisses him*

[05:55:54] Karkat Vantas: *kisses back* NOT AS CUTE AS ANOTHER COUPLE I CAN THINK OF.

[05:56:30] John Egbert: if you're talking about anyone but us, i might have to punch you.

[05:58:33] Karkat Vantas: BETTER PUNCH ME NOW THEN, BECAUSE I WAS OBVIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT YOUR FIST AND  MY FACE. CAN'T GET MUCH CUTER THAN THAT, HA HA HA. *gives his cheek a quick peck*

[06:00:06] John Egbert: oh screw that. the best couple is like, our lips. hehehe.

[06:00:36] Karkat Vantas: OH REALLY? I THOUGHT FOR SURE YOU WOULD HAVE SAID YOUR HANDS AND MY ASS, HA HA.

[06:00:59] John Egbert: ...i was incredibly tempted to and was just considering saying that too.

[06:01:23] John Egbert: you know me so well, dude. soulmates.

[06:01:40] John Egbert: the soulmates being my hands and your ass, obviously.

[06:02:48] Karkat Vantas: OBVIOUSLY. HOW DARE WE EVER TRY TO KEEP THEM APART? WE'RE MONSTERS, JOHN. WE ARE CONSTANTLY FORCING THESE TWO LOVING ENTITIES APART. HOW COULD WE PUSH APART SUCH A TRUE AND PURE LOVE?

[06:03:52] John Egbert: lmao karkat, this is like the third time tonight you've encouraged me in this.

[06:04:32] Karkat Vantas: IS IT NOW? I SHOULD SAY I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU'RE KEEPING TRACK BUT AT THIS POINT I'M NOT REALLY SURPRISED ANYMORE, HA HA HA.

[06:04:58] John Egbert: if i didn't know better i'd have you down as totally wanting me to touch your butt ;)

[06:05:11] John Egbert: oh come on, i keep track of all the things.

[06:07:04] Karkat Vantas: OH REALLY NOW? WHAT IF I WAS? BUT WHAT IF THERE WAS THE OFF CHANCE THAT I WASN'T? AND WHAT IF THERE'S AN EVEN SLIMMER CHANCE THAT I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR BUTT INSTEAD? WHAT IF THIS HAD ALL BEEN SOME KIND OF BULLSHIT REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY PLOY TO GET YOU TO LET ME INSTEAD? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW!

[06:08:38] John Egbert: dude, if you want to grab my sexy butt you don't need some mind game ploy. i don't care.

[06:09:17] Karkat Vantas: I SAID THERE WAS ONLY A SLIM CHANCE OF THAT!

[06:09:20] Karkat Vantas: .....BUT OKAY.

[06:09:35] John Egbert: ;)

[06:10:04] Karkat Vantas: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE ABOUT IT THAN YOU WERE.

[06:10:43] John Egbert: hold on, i'm kind of sitting on it right now. *climbs over* haha, there.

[06:12:18] Karkat Vantas: OKAY SO I GUESS I JUST.. *reaches around and gropes it slightly* SHIT I DON'T THINK THIS IS QUITE HOW DANE COOK WAS DOING IT.

[06:12:41 | Removed 06:12:46] John Egbert: This message has been removed.

[06:13:10] John Egbert: dane cook used a hell of a lot more force, i think. heheheh.

[06:16:03] Karkat Vantas: SO MORE LIKE THIS THEN. *squeezes it harder for a second before chuckling* WOW OKAY. THIS ISN'T WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE. BUT MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING, HA HA HA.

[06:17:41] John Egbert: is that as in better than you thought, or dissapointing?

[06:18:10] John Egbert: if my butt is dissapointing to you i'll punch you again.

[06:20:22] Karkat Vantas: YOUR ASS IS TERRIBLE, JOHN. WHAT ELSE WOULD THAT MEAN? I SHOULD TAKE MY HANDS OFF RIGHT NOW! *squeezes it slightly again* IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF THAT WERE TRUE. WHICH IT OBVIOUSLY ISN'T. I GUESS I DIDN'T SEE WHAT WOULD BE SO ATTRACTIVE ABOUT GRABBING ASS BUT WOW WAS I WRONG. FUCK THAT FEELS WEIRD TO EVEN SAY, HA HA HA.

[06:22:23] John Egbert: is this your idea of sexytalk??? hahahahaha.

[06:23:32] John Egbert: but nah, it is kinda suprising. being totally groped, i mean.

[06:24:07] John Egbert: it's weirder than i thought but not in a bad way, i guess.

[06:25:38] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T KNOW, I AM SHIT AT THIS KIND OF THING. OBVIOUSLY I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING RIGHT NOW.

[06:26:22] Karkat Vantas: BUT YEAH, THAT'S KIND OF HOW I FELT ABOUT IT THE FIRST TIME YOU GRABBED MY BUTT TOO. THAT IT WAS WEIRD BUT NOT BAD, ANYWAYS. BUT I AM DEFINITELY USED TO IT NOW, HA HA HA.

[06:28:00] John Egbert: we're both kind of shitty at these things, oops. only somehow us each being completely shitty becomes something really amazing and romantic and sexy when we're together.

[06:28:09] John Egbert: lol, what am i even talking about.

[06:30:19] Karkat Vantas: IT KIND OF DOES, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT. I THINK THIS HAS SOULMATE WRITTEN ALL OVER IT, JOHN. THE SIGNS ARE ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE! BUT ESPECIALLY IN OUR BUTTS.

[06:30:29] Karkat Vantas: OKAY, I AM GOING TO STOP TALKING ABOUT OUR ASSES NOW.

[06:31:47] John Egbert: yeah, okay. i am starting to feel sort of silly.

[06:32:42] John Egbert: *leans forward and gives him another kiss*

[06:33:43] Karkat Vantas: *smiles before kissing him back, moving his hands up to his back instead*

[06:35:11] John Egbert: heheheh. i love you, dude.

[06:35:49] John Egbert: you and your ass. *snort*

[06:37:26] Karkat Vantas: *bumps their foreheads together* PFFT, I LOVE YOU TOO, ASS. BOTH OF THEM. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ASS TOO, HAHAHA.

[06:39:35] John Egbert: oh wow, i see what you did there. i have the wittiest boyfriend.

[06:40:07] John Egbert: *gives him another quick kiss* are you sleeping here?

[06:41:40] Karkat Vantas: I TRY. *returns the kiss* IT IS AWFULLY LATE. I SUPPOSE IT WOULDN'T HURT TO STAY.

[06:47:05] John Egbert: i hope you know you have basically no choice in this, anyway.

[06:47:43] John Egbert: c'mon, then. *climbs off karkat and gets into bed, pulling his arm*

[06:49:20] Karkat Vantas: NO CHOICE? OH MY GOD, I AM BEING FORCED TO STAY AGAINST MY WILL! WHATEVER WILL I DO? *laughs as he follows, climbing into bed next to him*

[06:50:56] John Egbert: oh man, better dial 911. you're my hostage. hahaha. *clings onto with mock-posessiveness*

[06:53:24] Karkat Vantas: BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO REACH MY PHONE! I'M DOOMED! *snorts as he wraps his arms around him* BUT WHAT'S THIS? THE CAPTIVE FALLING FOR THE CAPTOR? I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY! ACTUALLY, THAT SEEMS TO HAPPEN A LOT IN MOVIES, HA HA.

[06:55:04] John Egbert: oh yeah, because it's such a beautifully romantic situation, obviously. rose has some fancy word for it, i think.

[06:55:29] John Egbert: but that's okay. you can be beauty and i will be the beast.

[06:56:15] John Egbert: only more like sleeping beauty, am i right?

[06:56:51] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, STOCKHOLM SYNDROME IS THE TERM I THINK YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THERE.

[06:57:36] John Egbert: sounds sexy.

[06:58:04] Karkat Vantas: DOESN'T IT?

[06:58:43] Karkat Vantas: BUT WOW, SO CLEVER. SLEEPING BEAUTY? HOW DID I EVER GET SO LUCKY? IF I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING BEAUTY I THINK THAT MEANS I BETTER GET SOME SHUT EYE.

[06:59:41] John Egbert: hahahahaha, pretty much! see if you stay here i can make sure you're sleeping properly.

[07:00:41] John Egbert: so yeah, i should probably let you do that. *kisses on cheek* night, oafcookie.

[07:02:18] Karkat Vantas: IF I AM GOING TO BE SLEEPING BEAUTY, THAT BETTER MEAN I HAVE A KISS TO WAKE UP TO AS WELL, HAHA. *kisses his forehead before settling back down* GOOD NIGHT, FUCKFACE.

[07:03:29] John Egbert: aww. you totally will, don't worry.

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

movie night 21: mac and me

Yeah, Karkat and John watch the absolute shittiest movie in John's collection. 

[06/06/2012 03:27:38] John Egbert: *opens door* hey, dorkdumpling. i took the liberty of picking tonight's movie!

[06/06/2012 03:28:56] Karkat Vantas: *walks in, quickly claiming a seat* OH GOODIE. WHAT PIECE OF CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE HAVE YOU CHOSEN FOR US TONIGHT, FUCKNUGGET?

[06/06/2012 03:29:27] John Egbert: why, only the best, for my dearest boyfriend.

[06/06/2012 03:29:28] John Egbert: it...

[06/06/2012 03:29:31] John Egbert: is................

[06/06/2012 03:29:38] John Egbert: MAC AND ME.

[06/06/2012 03:29:48] Karkat Vantas: MAC AND ME.

[06/06/2012 03:30:39] John Egbert: yup! don't say it with such distain, i think you'll like it.

[06/06/2012 03:30:44] John Egbert: uh. maybe!

[06/06/2012 03:31:00] Karkat Vantas: MAYBE. YOU SOUND SO CONFIDENT IN YOUR ASSESSMENT OF MY TASTES.

[06/06/2012 03:31:37] Karkat Vantas: WELL, I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW UNTIL WE WATCH IT, RIGHT? NO MATTER HOW AWFUL JUST THE COVER LOOKS.

[06/06/2012 03:32:07] John Egbert: hey! the cover is fine. well.

[06/06/2012 03:32:52] John Egbert: okay, even i admit this movie is not the best. but i loved it as a kid, you know?

[06/06/2012 03:33:43] John Egbert: check out those aliens, hahaha. i wonder what real ones look like.

[06/06/2012 03:33:57] Karkat Vantas: WELL, OKAY. I GUESS I CAN'T DISS IT TOO HORRIBLY THEN. OR MAYBE THAT JUST MEANS I'LL GIVE IT THE MOST SCATHING CRITICISM YET.

[06/06/2012 03:34:35] Karkat Vantas: NO ONE KNOWS, I GUESS. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE THEY DO LOOK LIKE THAT. OR MAYBE THEY'RE MUCH MORE TERRIFYING.

[06/06/2012 03:35:29] Karkat Vantas: THAT SEEMS LIKE A TERRIBLE IDEA. TOUCH THE ODD SPACE PROBE. THESE ALIENS ARE SO BRIGHT!

[06/06/2012 03:36:05] John Egbert: pfft? terrifying. i dunno about that, if there's anything these movies have taught me it's that aliens make awesome friends.

[06/06/2012 03:36:16] John Egbert: unless it's like gremilins. were those aliens?

[06/06/2012 03:37:28] John Egbert: well whatever they were they were pretty much adorable. unless you spilled water on them! man, don't do that.

[06/06/2012 03:38:10] Karkat Vantas: MAKE FRIENDS? YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE RIGHT ALIEN MOVIES OBVIOUSLY. NOT ALL ALIENS WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS. MEN IN BLACK? NOT ALL OF THOSE ALIENS WERE FRIENDLY IN THE SLIGHTEST. SEVERAL WERE PRETTY FUCKING NASTY. AND YEAH, I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW IF THE GREMLINS WERE ALIENS OR NOT. THEY WERE JUST HORRID, REALLY.

[06/06/2012 03:39:50] John Egbert: oh yeah true. but still! i bet in real life they'd be pretty friendly.

[06/06/2012 03:39:57] John Egbert: i like to think so, anyway.

[06/06/2012 03:40:26] Karkat Vantas: I SUPPOSE IT'S A NICE THOUGHT. EVER THE OPTIMIST I SEE, HAHAHA.

[06/06/2012 03:40:45] Karkat Vantas: OH SHIT.

[06/06/2012 03:40:57] John Egbert: haha, you know me.

[06/06/2012 03:41:12] John Egbert: oh man, it looks so dumb.

[06/06/2012 03:41:20] John Egbert: look at it lolling around.

[06/06/2012 03:41:46] Karkat Vantas: JESUS CHIST, DO THEY JUST HAVE A TENDENCY TO BREAK EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH?

[06/06/2012 03:41:48] John Egbert: and by that i don't mean lol in the hilarious internet-y way.

[06/06/2012 03:42:07] John Egbert: uh.. maybe? i was never really clear on that.

[06/06/2012 03:42:39] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD.

[06/06/2012 03:42:56] Karkat Vantas: HOLY FUCK, HOW IS THAT THING NOT DEAD?

[06/06/2012 03:43:36] John Egbert: i dunno, i guess aliens don't die easily?

[06/06/2012 03:43:45] John Egbert: which is kind of an alarming thought!

[06/06/2012 03:44:36] Karkat Vantas: ISN'T IT? I MEAN, WHAT IF THESE ALIENS HAD BEEN HOSTILE INSTEAD OF FRIENDLY? IF ALL OF THAT DIDN'T KILL IT OR EVEN SEEM TO INJURE  IT EITHER.

[06/06/2012 03:45:00] Karkat Vantas: BUT THEN IF THAT WERE THE CASE I HIGHLY DOUBT THIS MOVIE WOULD BE CALLED MAC AND ME.

[06/06/2012 03:45:30] John Egbert: yeah, no way. this is a nice friendly movie with nice friendly aliens.

[06/06/2012 03:45:51] John Egbert: otherwise it'd be, like. "mac vs me".

[06/06/2012 03:46:04] Karkat Vantas: AND WE ALL KNOW WHO WOULD WIN THAT FIGHT.

[06/06/2012 03:48:03] Karkat Vantas: I LIKE THEIR MOM. SHE'S GOT SPUNK.

[06/06/2012 03:48:26] Karkat Vantas: WOW WHAT A LOVING BROTHER.

[06/06/2012 03:48:33] John Egbert: yeah, she's pretty great.

[06/06/2012 03:48:44] John Egbert: pfffff.

[06/06/2012 03:49:34] John Egbert: oh man the alien has such a knack for getting into trouble.

[06/06/2012 03:50:07] Karkat Vantas: DEFINITELY. AND HE ALSO HAS A KNACK FOR GOING UNSEEN. THOUGH THAT COULD JUST BE THIS FAMILY THAT IS UNOBSERVANT.

[06/06/2012 03:50:31] John Egbert: oh, check out his douche sunglasses.

[06/06/2012 03:50:39] Karkat Vantas: AND HE DOESN'T EVEN QUESTION IT.

[06/06/2012 03:51:27] John Egbert: and yeah, the family is kind of dumb? or i don't know, if i saw that guy i'd dismisss it as my imagination.

[06/06/2012 03:52:31] Karkat Vantas: AND IT'S STANDING RIGHT THERE NEXT TO HIM. IT WAS RIGHT BEHIND HIS HEAD! AND THEN THAT HAPPENS! THE KID HAS TO BE QUESTIONING IT AT THIS POINT I HOPE.

[06/06/2012 03:53:06] Karkat Vantas: OKAY SO DO THESE ALIENS JUST CONDUCT ELECTRICITY OR SOMETHING?

[06/06/2012 03:53:40] John Egbert: i guess?

[06/06/2012 03:53:53] John Egbert: hahaha, why would you go in when somebody is clearly in the shower?

[06/06/2012 03:54:08 | Edited 03:54:14] John Egbert: like, it could have been his mom or brother. gross.

[06/06/2012 03:54:47] Karkat Vantas: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT, OKAY? WE CAN ALL JUST BE GRATEFUL THAT IT WASN'T, HA HA HA.

[06/06/2012 03:55:22] Karkat Vantas: GOD THAT THING IS DESTRUCTIVE. IT HAS SUCH A KNACK FOR BREAKING SHIT.

[06/06/2012 03:56:14] Karkat Vantas: AWWWW THAT GIRL IS CUTE. IS THERE GOING TO BE ROMANCE IN THIS? SHE EVEN HAD AN OLDER SISTER.

[06/06/2012 03:56:27] John Egbert: i know, right? it's like a talent or something.

[06/06/2012 03:56:35] John Egbert: shh, i don't want to SPOIL it.

[06/06/2012 03:57:00] John Egbert: but bluh, romance in kids' movies. so unecessary.

[06/06/2012 03:57:49] Karkat Vantas: WELL THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN IT FOR THE ADULTS WHO ARE FORCED TO WATCH THESE MOVIES WITH KIDS, TOO. I THINK IT'S PERFECTLY NECCESARY.

[06/06/2012 03:59:15 | Edited 03:59:46] Karkat Vantas: A NEIGHBORHOOD KID DID THAT. THAT'S THE WORST RATIONAL EXPLANATION I'VE EVER HEARD. SUGGESTING AN ANIMAL LIKE A RACCOON OR SOMETHING WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE BELIEVABLE.

[06/06/2012 03:59:33] John Egbert: yeah, probably.

[06/06/2012 03:59:49] John Egbert: and you are so wrong, karkat. it's not as if adult can only enjoy romance.

[06/06/2012 04:00:43] Karkat Vantas: WELL THERE ARE PLENTY OF ADULTS WHO AREN'T QUITE AS ENTERTAINED BY CHILDREN'S HUMOR EITHER. I'M JUST SAYING THAT IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE REASONS TO ADD ROMANCE TO THESE TYPES OF MOVIES.

[06/06/2012 04:00:51] John Egbert: the alien has suprisingly good control of the car, wow.

[06/06/2012 04:01:32] Karkat Vantas: NO KIDDING. FOR SOMETHING THAT HASN'T EVEN SEEN CARS BEFORE THE OTHER DAY.

[06/06/2012 04:01:35] John Egbert: ew, looking through the drill holes is a terrible idea.

[06/06/2012 04:01:44] Karkat Vantas: WOW THAT THING IS GOING TO COMPLETELY DESTROY THEIR HOUSE.

[06/06/2012 04:02:05] John Egbert: LOL, yeah. damn aliens and their destructive tendencies.

[06/06/2012 04:03:09] Karkat Vantas: AND OF COURSE THE KIDS ARE GOING TO BE BLAMED. COMPLETELY UNFAIR.

[06/06/2012 04:03:14] Karkat Vantas: POOR KID.

[06/06/2012 04:03:26] John Egbert: naturally. like in little monsters, aww.

[06/06/2012 04:03:37] John Egbert: the house isn't even that bad. jeez.

[06/06/2012 04:04:29] Karkat Vantas: I MEAN, HOW DID SHE EXPECT HIM TO BE ABLE TO DO ALL OF THAT ANYWAYS? I THINK HE WOULD HAVE HAD A LITTLE DIFFICULTY GIVEN HIS SITUATION.

[06/06/2012 04:04:48] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD!!!

[06/06/2012 04:05:14] John Egbert: your abilitiy to take pretty much any movie seriously is amazing, dude.

[06/06/2012 04:06:10] Karkat Vantas: WELL THAT WAS INCREDIBLY DISTRESSING, OKAY?

[06/06/2012 04:06:30] John Egbert: pff.

[06/06/2012 04:06:37] John Egbert: if you say so, haha.

[06/06/2012 04:06:43] Karkat Vantas: I MEAN, HE COULD HAVE DROWNED! HE ALMOST DID!

[06/06/2012 04:06:53] John Egbert: it distressed me too. when i was like, six. LOL.

[06/06/2012 04:07:22] Karkat Vantas: OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

[06/06/2012 04:07:57] John Egbert: the girl is a cutie, though.

[06/06/2012 04:08:25] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, SHE IS DEFINITELY CUTE.

[06/06/2012 04:08:32] Karkat Vantas: WOW, LOOK AT THAT.

[06/06/2012 04:08:35] John Egbert: and, there's your romance.

[06/06/2012 04:08:43] John Egbert: are you happy?

[06/06/2012 04:08:55] Karkat Vantas: YES, YES I AM.

[06/06/2012 04:09:09] John Egbert: dumb teenagers staring at each other, lol.

[06/06/2012 04:09:41] Karkat Vantas: THEN WE MUST BE THE DUMBEST TEENAGERS, BECAUSE WE SEEM TO HAVE A KNACK FOR THAT, HA HA HA HA.

[06/06/2012 04:09:54] John Egbert: sh, we don't count.

[06/06/2012 04:10:26] John Egbert: we didn't do some lame lingering handshake when we first met.

[06/06/2012 04:11:12] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, I SUPPOSE WE DIDN'T DO THAT. BUT YOU CAN'T DENY THE STARING, OF COURSE.

[06/06/2012 04:11:34] Karkat Vantas: WOW, LISTEN TO HIM, HA HA. WHAT A CASANOVA.

[06/06/2012 04:12:01] John Egbert: hey, i didn't stare at you like seconds after meeting you like those chumps.

[06/06/2012 04:12:26] John Egbert: you probably did because you're lame like that. and also because i'm super-handsome, as we established.

[06/06/2012 04:13:07] John Egbert: aww, the kid's clearly been watching like, ghostbusters.

[06/06/2012 04:13:30] John Egbert: using a vacuum on it and stuff, so dumb.

[06/06/2012 04:14:09] Karkat Vantas: OH, OF COURSE I DID. I JUST COULDN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU FOR A SECOND! I DIDN'T EVEN WATCH SERENDIPITY, I HAVE THE WHOLE THING MEMORIZED COMPLETELY! I SPEND THE ENTIRE THING STARING AT YOUR SUPER-HANDSOMENESS. HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE?

[06/06/2012 04:14:40] Karkat Vantas: WOW, LOOK AT THEM GO. JESUS, CAN THIS ALIEN FLY TOO?

[06/06/2012 04:14:41] Karkat Vantas: MAC.

[06/06/2012 04:14:46] Karkat Vantas: MYSTERIOUS ALIEN CREATURE.

[06/06/2012 04:14:52] Karkat Vantas: WHAT A CLEVER KID.

[06/06/2012 04:15:19] Karkat Vantas: AT LEAST THAT'S BEEN CLEARED UP.

[06/06/2012 04:15:28] John Egbert: oh wow, staring at me over staring at john cusack in that movie? compliments of the highest order.

[06/06/2012 04:15:52] John Egbert: quick, give the alien some coke! hahaha.

[06/06/2012 04:16:17] John Egbert: they drink it on his planet, oh man.

[06/06/2012 04:17:50] Karkat Vantas: I KNOW, IT WAS DEFINITELY THE BEST COMPLIMENT YOU COULD GET. BEING LOOKED AT OVER CUSACK? I'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE.

[06/06/2012 04:18:29 | Edited 04:18:43] Karkat Vantas: BECASUE ALL ALIENS DRINK COKE, OF COURSE. WHAT ELSE WOULD THEY DRINK? WATER? HEAVEN FORBID THEY DRINK SOMETHING NORMAL!

[06/06/2012 04:19:00] John Egbert: why would an alien be normal? laaaame.

[06/06/2012 04:19:16] John Egbert: wow that bell is annoying. it'd just turn it off and go to bed.

[06/06/2012 04:19:48] Karkat Vantas: WOW, AT LEAST IT CAN FIX THINGS AS WELL AS IT CAN BREAK THEM.

[06/06/2012 04:20:43] John Egbert: and hmmm, maybe i'll look at you over looking at any of my movie crushes? it is looking pretty likely.

[06/06/2012 04:22:03] Karkat Vantas: OH? YOU MEAN YOU MIGHT LOOK AT ME OVER LOOKING AT LIV TYLER? OR MAYBE EVEN MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY? WOW! I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAY.

[06/06/2012 04:22:41] John Egbert: well you know, last time we watched a mcconaughey flick i was still a dumbass who hadn't noticed how smokin' you were. heheh.

[06/06/2012 04:24:42] Karkat Vantas: THIS IS TRUE! THE LAST TIME WE WATCHED ONE WAS BACK WHEN YOUR ASS MIGHT HAVE BEEN A BIT STUPIDER THAN IT IS NOW. YOU'RE ONLY MINORLY A DUMBASS NOW. YOU ARE ONLY STEPS AWAY FROM BEING A SMARTASS INSTEAD!

[06/06/2012 04:25:14] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WEIRDEST MONTAGE I'VE EVER SEEN. WHAT EVEN JUST HAPPENED WITH THE LITTLE CAR? I'M CONFUSED.

[06/06/2012 04:27:33] John Egbert: it was a great montage, shut your face.

[06/06/2012 04:28:02] Karkat Vantas: I LOVE HOW IT JUST NATURALLY KNOWS WHAT TISSUES ARE. AND HOW THEY THINK IT LOOKS SICK OR DEPRESSED. IT LOOKS NO DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE, REALLY.

[06/06/2012 04:28:45] John Egbert: also, i am totally a smartass. i am smart enough to see all your attractiveness and stuff.

[06/06/2012 04:28:54] John Egbert: and yeah, it's kind of silly. shhh.

[06/06/2012 04:30:28] John Egbert: speaking of which, i still need to stock up on tissues again. we don't have so many right now.

[06/06/2012 04:32:19] Karkat Vantas: IF SIMPLY SEEING SOMEONE'S ATTRACTIVENESS MAKES YOU A SMARTASS, THEN I WOULD BE THE SMARTEST ASS OF ALL FOR SEEING JUST HOW MUCH YOU HAVE. IT OOZES OFF OF YOU, REALLY. HOW HAD I NOT SEEN IT SOONER THEN I DID?

[06/06/2012 04:33:13] Karkat Vantas: OH SHIT, YEAH. WE'LL DEFINITELY NEED MORE OF THEM. GOOD THING THIS WAS THE MOVIE CHOICE. I'M PRETTY SURE I'M NOT GOING TO CRY, HA HA HA.

[06/06/2012 04:33:50] Karkat Vantas: WOW. GOD WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE SO STUPID?

[06/06/2012 04:34:04] Karkat Vantas: CUTE? THOSE EYES ARE ACTUALLY KIND OF CREEPY IF YOU ASK ME.

[06/06/2012 04:34:26] John Egbert: oh, don't start. i'll compliment the shit out of you. also, i am a smartass for plenty of other reasons, too.

[06/06/2012 04:34:58] John Egbert: i think it's pretty cute, but only from a distance.

[06/06/2012 04:35:06] Karkat Vantas: OH TRUST ME, I KNOW. YOU'RE PROBABLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST SMARTASSES I'VE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING, HA HA.

[06/06/2012 04:35:27] John Egbert: hahaha, so you admit it. sweet.

[06/06/2012 04:36:01] John Egbert: why is there dancing here, anyway? it's like a really cheesy macdonald's comercial.

[06/06/2012 04:36:12] John Egbert: not that that is a problem at all.

[06/06/2012 04:37:03] Karkat Vantas: NO KIDDING, I MEAN, THEY'RE ALL DANCING EVEN ON THE OUTSIDE TOO. AND IT WAS SO PERFECTLY CHOREAGRAPHED, TOO! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT.

[06/06/2012 04:37:38] John Egbert: hey, you can't complain. you watch a whole bunch of musicals.

[06/06/2012 04:37:44 | Edited 04:38:25] Karkat Vantas: DAMN, THOSE GOVERNMENT AGENTS ARE REAL CHAMPS. HOW CAN THEY KEEP UP RUNNING LIKE THAT FOR SO LONG? THEY ARE PRACTICALLY KEEPING UP WITH A CAR.

[06/06/2012 04:37:55] Karkat Vantas: TOUCHE.

[06/06/2012 04:38:35] John Egbert: i dunno, they look kind of goofy sometimes.

[06/06/2012 04:38:51] John Egbert: look at them all tripping over, hehehehehe.

[06/06/2012 04:39:50] Karkat Vantas: DEFACEMENT OF PUBLIC PROPERTY? AND STILL RUNNING? THESE GUYS MUST BE MARATHON WINNERS OR SOMETHING.

[06/06/2012 04:40:59] John Egbert: yeah, true. they were pretty legendary.

[06/06/2012 04:41:09] John Egbert: i love how mac refused water, hahaha.

[06/06/2012 04:41:20] Karkat Vantas: I WOULD HAVE KEPT THAT UP FOR ABOUT FIVE SECONDS, HA HA HA. MAYBE I SHOULD EXERCISE MORE.

[06/06/2012 04:41:41] Karkat Vantas: NO KIDDING. HE IS A COKE-ONLY KIND OF ALIEN. IT'S WHAT THEY HAVE ON HIS HOME PLANET, AFTER ALL.

[06/06/2012 04:41:52] John Egbert: oh hey, dude. ice cream feeding. awww.

[06/06/2012 04:42:18] John Egbert: you should definitely excercise more, fatty.

[06/06/2012 04:42:45] Karkat Vantas: AWWWW, SEE? EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE REALLY MINOR THEY'RE STILL A NICE COUPLE.

[06/06/2012 04:43:31] John Egbert: i guess. you can't go wrong with adorable shit like that.

[06/06/2012 04:43:39] Karkat Vantas: OH YES, I REALLY NEED TO DROP SEVERAL HUNDRED POUNDS. LOOK AT MY MASSIVE GIRTH! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN FIT YOUR ARMS AROUND ALL OF THIS BLUBBER.

[06/06/2012 04:43:40] John Egbert: though i am more than a little biased.

[06/06/2012 04:44:08] Karkat Vantas: I GUESS I AM TOO ON THE SUBJECT OF ICE CREAM FEEDING ESPECIALLY, HA HA.

[06/06/2012 04:44:38] John Egbert: oh, totally. it's basically a miracle.

[06/06/2012 04:45:24] John Egbert: yeah, haha. fond memories and stuff.

[06/06/2012 04:46:37] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD DOES THIS MEAN THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY BE DANGEROUS AFTER ALL?

[06/06/2012 04:47:30] John Egbert: no way, dude. :(

[06/06/2012 04:47:41] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD.

[06/06/2012 04:47:54] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD THEY BETTER NOT BE DEAD.

[06/06/2012 04:48:04] Karkat Vantas: OH THANK GOD.

[06/06/2012 04:48:33] John Egbert: those poor things, omg.

[06/06/2012 04:49:26] Karkat Vantas: NO KIDDING. THEY HAD NOTHING TO DRINK OUT THERE, NO WONDER THEY WERE ALMOST DEAD. THERE IS NO COKE IN THE DESERT, JOHN.

[06/06/2012 04:49:47] Karkat Vantas: ..HOW DO THEY KNOW IT'S A GIRL?

[06/06/2012 04:49:50] John Egbert: no coke in the desert, of course.

[06/06/2012 04:50:27] John Egbert: hell, there's not even much water.

[06/06/2012 04:51:19] Karkat Vantas: AWWWWW.

[06/06/2012 04:51:46] Karkat Vantas: HE GOT BACK TO HIS FAMILY AGAIN, THAT'S SWEET.

[06/06/2012 04:52:00] John Egbert: i know, awwww.

[06/06/2012 04:52:40] John Egbert: shit, what a nightmare.

[06/06/2012 04:53:29] Karkat Vantas: NO KIDDING. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY'RE TRYING TO DRIVE. EVEN JUST KIDS AREN'T THAT DISTRACTING.

[06/06/2012 04:54:01] Karkat Vantas: OH WELL SO MUCH FOR TRYING TO HIDE THEM.

[06/06/2012 04:54:26] Karkat Vantas: AND ANOTHER WINDOW BROKEN.

[06/06/2012 04:54:28] John Egbert: oh wow, they drink sprite too, maybe?

[06/06/2012 04:55:15] Karkat Vantas: AND THEN THEY GO FOR THE COKE AGAIN.

[06/06/2012 04:55:19] Karkat Vantas: IN THE STORE.

[06/06/2012 04:55:32] Karkat Vantas: WOW, THESE ARE THE MOST SUBTLE ALIENS I'VE EVER SEEN.

[06/06/2012 04:56:50] Karkat Vantas: AN ALIEN WITH A GUN.

[06/06/2012 04:57:02] John Egbert: i know, they're so subtle.

[06/06/2012 04:57:14] John Egbert: the guns is kind of hilarious, haha.

[06/06/2012 04:57:32] John Egbert: oh my god.

[06/06/2012 04:57:32] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD

[06/06/2012 04:58:01] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD NO

[06/06/2012 04:58:26] Karkat Vantas: WHAT

[06/06/2012 04:58:30] Karkat Vantas: WHAT?!

[06/06/2012 04:58:51] Karkat Vantas: YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME!

[06/06/2012 04:59:46] John Egbert: yeah, suprise dude! this movie is actually a major tragedy.

[06/06/2012 05:00:29] Karkat Vantas: WELL GREAT. ..I WAS DEFINITELY NOT EXPECTING THAT.

[06/06/2012 05:00:45] Karkat Vantas: THESE ALIENS BETTER HAVE SOME MAGIC HEALING POWERS.

[06/06/2012 05:01:34] John Egbert: obviously they do, like they'd kill off the main character for realzies.

[06/06/2012 05:01:40] John Egbert: don't be dim, karkat.

[06/06/2012 05:01:58] Karkat Vantas: WELL YOU NEVER KNOW!

[06/06/2012 05:03:18] John Egbert: pfft, i guess. after all, there was like, city of angels.

[06/06/2012 05:03:25] John Egbert: BAM, sad out of nowhere.

[06/06/2012 05:03:45] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY. IT WAS SO HAPPY, AND THEN THAT TRUCK RAN OVER EVERYONE'S HAPPINESS.

[06/06/2012 05:04:13] Karkat Vantas: THANK GOD HE'S OKAY.

[06/06/2012 05:05:37] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD.

[06/06/2012 05:05:38] John Egbert: hahaha this ending.

[06/06/2012 05:05:49] John Egbert: do they even understand the oath?

[06/06/2012 05:06:01] Karkat Vantas: THEY SURE DON'T LOOK LIKE IT.

[06/06/2012 05:06:34] John Egbert: it's so silly, hehe. aww.

[06/06/2012 05:06:47] Karkat Vantas: THEY MADE THE ALIENS CITIZENS-

[06/06/2012 05:06:55 | Edited 05:07:11] Karkat Vantas: AND THEY'RE DRIVING.

[06/06/2012 05:07:05] Karkat Vantas: I SURE AS FUCK WOULDN'T TRUST ONE OF THEM DRIVING.

[06/06/2012 05:07:33] Karkat Vantas: WE'LL BE BACK. THERE ISN'T A SEQUEL TO THIS, IS THERE? PLEASE SAY NO.

[06/06/2012 05:08:07] John Egbert: sadly, no. :(

[06/06/2012 05:08:36] John Egbert: the movie did horribly at the theatres. total bomb.

[06/06/2012 05:08:42] Karkat Vantas: I WONDER WHY?

[06/06/2012 05:08:55] John Egbert: it's such a waste, karkat. think how great that sequel would have been.

[06/06/2012 05:09:26] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD. IT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN THEM ADJUSTING TO HUMAN LIFE OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EVEN WORSE THAN THIS.

[06/06/2012 05:09:39] Karkat Vantas: I THINK THE WORLD WAS SPARED WITH NO SEQUAL IN THIS CASE.

[06/06/2012 05:10:50] John Egbert: :(

[06/06/2012 05:11:05] John Egbert: no, karkat. if there was a sequel we'd totally watch it.

[06/06/2012 05:11:29] John Egbert: it is a real shame one was never made, they obviously had BIG PLANS.

[06/06/2012 05:11:46] Karkat Vantas: IF THEY WERE HINTING IT AT THE END OF THIS, THEY REALLY MUST HAVE.

[06/06/2012 05:12:34] John Egbert: maybe when i become a big shot movie director, i'll finally make that sequel.

[06/06/2012 05:12:40] John Egbert: AND IT WILL BE AMAZING.

[06/06/2012 05:13:06] Karkat Vantas: MAC AND ME 2. YOUR THEATRICAL DEBUT. MASSES WOULD WEEP. IN HAPPINESS OR PAIN? WE MAY NEVER KNOW.

[06/06/2012 05:14:43] John Egbert: both, probably!

[06/06/2012 05:15:10] John Egbert: and jeez, it wouldn't be my debut. my debut would be something fifty times more awesome.

[06/06/2012 05:16:15] Karkat Vantas: WELL THAT'S GOOD. IF YOU DEBUTED WITH THAT, THEY'D PROBABLY NEVER LET YOU MAKE ANOTHER FILM EVER. REVOKE YOUR DIRECTOR'S LISCENSE OR WHATEVER IT IS THEY HAVE. MAKE SURE THE SEQUAL TO THAT THING IS THE LAST MOVIE YOU EVER PLAN ON MAKING AND YOU MIGHT BE OKAY, HA HA HA HA.

[06/06/2012 05:17:17] John Egbert: no way man, my sequel would be AWESOME.

[06/06/2012 05:17:33] John Egbert: they'd probably want to make a mac & me 3, too.

[06/06/2012 05:17:44] John Egbert: the franchise would spark back into life.

[06/06/2012 05:17:48] Karkat Vantas: WHAT WOULD THE THIRD ONE EVEN BE ABOUT?

[06/06/2012 05:17:57] John Egbert: btw, the sequel would be called "mac and us".

[06/06/2012 05:18:05] Karkat Vantas: HOW SWEET.

[06/06/2012 05:18:15] John Egbert: i know!

[06/06/2012 05:18:54] John Egbert: anyway you were actually a lot better about the movie than i expected, haha. dave laughed at the wheelchair flying off the cliff.

[06/06/2012 05:19:41] Karkat Vantas: WHEELCHAIRS FLYING OFF OF CLIFFS IS NOTHING TO LAUGH ABOUT, JOHN. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE KID ALMOST DROWNS. THOUGH IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME THAT THAT INSENSITIVE DOUCHE WOULD LAUGH AT THAT.

[06/06/2012 05:20:42] John Egbert: booo, yeah. dave sucks at movies he just laughs at all mine the whole time. heheh.

[06/06/2012 05:21:02] John Egbert: whereas you actually kinda took it seriously!

[06/06/2012 05:21:57] Karkat Vantas: ONLY CERTAIN PARTS. A LOT OF THAT WAS INCREDIBLY STUPID, BUT THERE WERE SOME HEARTWARMING BITS I'LL ADMIT. AND THAT KID WAS PUT INTO WAY TOO MUCH DANGER FOR ME TO CONSTANTLY BE LAUGHING.

[06/06/2012 05:24:20] John Egbert: aww, that's something. you're basically the best, hehe.

[06/06/2012 05:25:08] John Egbert: appreciating the beauty of even my most indefensable movie, i commend you.

[06/06/2012 05:26:52] Karkat Vantas: YES, YES I AM. AS TERRIBLE AS IT WAS I TRIED KEEPING AS OPEN OF A MIND AS I COULD WHILE WATCHING IT. I THINK I EVEN LIKED IT MORE THAN LITTLE MONSTERS, AT ANY RATE.

[06/06/2012 05:27:24] John Egbert: oh, what? little monsters is way better.

[06/06/2012 05:27:36] John Egbert: the pranks in that movie are to die for, hahaha.

[06/06/2012 05:27:51] John Egbert: and oh god the apple juice scene.

[06/06/2012 05:28:10] Karkat Vantas: LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THE APPLE JUICE SCENE AGAIN. THAT WAS JUST DISTURBING ON SO MANY LEVELS.

[06/06/2012 05:29:51] John Egbert: no way, it was hilarious and you're just plain wrong.

[06/06/2012 05:30:22] John Egbert: but i guess i can shut up about it because i just care THAT MUCH.

[06/06/2012 05:32:09] Karkat Vantas: YOU ARE THE GREATEST. YOU'LL EVEN STOP GOING ON ABOUT THE APPLE JUIC SCENE? I'M THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WORLD, I THINK.

[06/06/2012 05:33:04] John Egbert: probably, yeah! not every guy is willing to stop talking about alien piss. it's a dead romanctic gesture.

[06/06/2012 05:34:30] Karkat Vantas: THE MOST ROMANTIC. I AM SWOONING SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.

[06/06/2012 05:37:00] John Egbert: swooning? oh good, you can swoon right on into bed.

[06/06/2012 05:37:52] John Egbert: cos you know, i feel like i'm going to fall asleep and i've basically decided you should always sleep with me.

[06/06/2012 05:40:51] Karkat Vantas: WELL I SUPPOSE I COULD DO THAT. I'VE GOT NO PROBLEMS WITH ALWAYS FALLING ASLEEP WITH YOU. THAT SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS YOU'VE EVER HAD.

[06/06/2012 05:41:56] John Egbert: yes, excellent. cuddling onto you is way better than just a few bunnies.

[06/06/2012 05:42:05] John Egbert: also, you smell nice.

[06/06/2012 05:44:17] Karkat Vantas: GOOD, I'M GLAD I AM BETTER THEN A FEW BUNNIES. HA HA HA, I JUST USE REGULAR SOAP. BUT THANKS. THOUGH SMELL PRETTY GOOD YOURSELF, ACTUALLY.

[06/06/2012 05:46:23] John Egbert: haha, thanks, i guess. i can't say i ever thought about it?

[06/06/2012 05:47:03] John Egbert: goodnight then, karkat. swet dreams and stuff.

[06/06/2012 05:47:40] Karkat Vantas: GOOD NIGHT JOHN, AND LIKEWISE. SLEEP WELL AND I LOVE YOU.

[06/06/2012 05:49:17] John Egbert: love you too, assmuffin.

[ghost-dad-is-rad-blog]

movie night 20: must love dogs

The first movie night Karkat and John have actually got around to having since they became A THING. contains copious discussions on butts. Takes place about a week after the dance. 

[01/06/2012 03:48:39] John Egbert: okay, so. it looks like it's your turn for mancrush appreciation!

[01/06/2012 03:50:10] John Egbert: you better have brought a decent movie, since i'm treating you to one of THE BEST in my collection next time.

[01/06/2012 03:51:24] Karkat Vantas: WELL, I'M ACTUALLY NOT SURE. I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T SEEN THIS ONE YET, I'VE BEEN PRETTY EXCITED TO WATCH IT THOUGH. I BROUGHT MUST LOVE DOGS.

[01/06/2012 03:51:38] Karkat Vantas: AND IT HAS JOHN CUSACK IN IT, SO OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO BE FAR MORE THAN JUST 'DECENT'.

[01/06/2012 03:51:51] John Egbert: ..."must love dogs". pfft.

[01/06/2012 03:52:10] John Egbert: is it another of those 80s romcoms, though? those are pretty good.

[01/06/2012 03:52:27] John Egbert: [[it's streaming fine, right?]

[01/06/2012 03:52:55] Karkat Vantas: [[yes :D]]

[01/06/2012 03:53:30] Karkat Vantas: HEY. THAT IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TITLE GIVEN THE SYNOPSIS. AND NO, I THINK THIS ONE'S A BIT MORE RECENT THAN THE 80S.

[01/06/2012 03:54:04] Karkat Vantas: OH WOW THIS GUY.

[01/06/2012 03:54:09] John Egbert: oh jeez, these are all terrible ideas.

[01/06/2012 03:54:26] John Egbert: even i can tell this, haha.

[01/06/2012 03:54:44] Karkat Vantas: YES, YES THEY WERE. EVERY ONE OF THOSE IDEAS WAS HORRIBLE.

[01/06/2012 03:55:29] John Egbert: gross.

[01/06/2012 03:55:38] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, UGH.

[01/06/2012 03:56:09] Karkat Vantas: GOD HER WHOLE FAMILY IS TRYING TO SET HER UP WITH SOME GUY THAT SHE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T WANT TO.

[01/06/2012 03:56:23] Karkat Vantas: AHHH YES, THERE HE IS.

[01/06/2012 03:56:44] John Egbert: the guy she's set up with? hmmmmmmm.

[01/06/2012 03:57:07] John Egbert: oh wait, it's john cusack.

[01/06/2012 03:57:27] Karkat Vantas: YES, YES IT IS.

[01/06/2012 03:57:42] John Egbert: are you seeing the link with matthew's character in failure to launch here? because i am.

[01/06/2012 03:58:34] Karkat Vantas: THERE ARE SMALL, SUBTLE SIMILARITIES I SUPPOSE.

[01/06/2012 03:58:45] John Egbert: BOATS, karkat. boats.

[01/06/2012 03:59:36] Karkat Vantas: BOATS. EXACTLY. THAT'S NOT EXACTLY SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT LOOKED LIKE HE MADE BOATS, WHEREAS MCCONAUGHEY'S CHARACTER WALTZED AROUND ON BOATS HE DIDN'T OWN AT FIRST.

[01/06/2012 04:00:04] John Egbert: well, they both had a passion for old-school boats over new ones.

[01/06/2012 04:01:23] Karkat Vantas: WELL, THAT'S TRUE. BUT THE SITUATIONS FOR BOTH CHARACTERS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. BOATS REALLY ONLY SEEM TO BE THE ONLY LINK.

[01/06/2012 04:02:20] Karkat Vantas: AWWWW, LOOK AT HER. THAT'S PRETTY SAD, ACTUALLY.

[01/06/2012 04:02:29] John Egbert: sure, whatever.

[01/06/2012 04:02:37] John Egbert: and aww, i guess it kind of is.

[01/06/2012 04:02:47] John Egbert: ugh, terrible song, though! i like the older version more.

[01/06/2012 04:03:42] Karkat Vantas: THAT VERSION ISN'T TOO TERRIBLE, COME ON.

[01/06/2012 04:03:59] John Egbert: ehhhhhhhhhhhh. it's not SO BAD.

[01/06/2012 04:04:04] Karkat Vantas: WOW, ALL THESE KIDS HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR PARENTS IT SEEMS.

[01/06/2012 04:04:44] John Egbert: aww. poor kids. they're pretty cute.

[01/06/2012 04:04:54 | Edited 04:05:24] John Egbert: even though you know, little girls are better.

[01/06/2012 04:06:34] John Egbert: was that supossed to be flirting? it was so dull.

[01/06/2012 04:07:32] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, JUST A LITTLE BIT. THERE DEFINITELY WASN'T MUCH OF A SPARK THERE AT ALL.

[01/06/2012 04:07:39] Karkat Vantas: I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THESE TWO MEET.

[01/06/2012 04:08:19] John Egbert: okay karkat, bear these in mind!

[01/06/2012 04:08:29] John Egbert: LOL.

[01/06/2012 04:08:36] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD.

[01/06/2012 04:08:43] John Egbert: wait wait, look at me a sec. let's test this.

[01/06/2012 04:09:23] Karkat Vantas: ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS? ...UGH, OKAY. FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS.

[01/06/2012 04:09:27] John Egbert: if your pupils don't dilate i will be SO OFFENDED.

[01/06/2012 04:09:51] John Egbert: but they obviously will, because i'm so handsome.

[01/06/2012 04:10:30] Karkat Vantas: OH YES, THE MOMENT MY GAZE CATCHES YOURS THEY WILL DILATE MORE THAN THEY EVER HAVE BEFORE.

[01/06/2012 04:11:06] John Egbert: except of course for all those other times you looked at me.

[01/06/2012 04:11:09] John Egbert: hehehe.

[01/06/2012 04:11:55] Karkat Vantas: OH HUSH, HAHAHA.

[01/06/2012 04:12:37] John Egbert: come on. *turns head*

[01/06/2012 04:12:49] John Egbert: and ew imagine going on a date with your dad.

[01/06/2012 04:13:19] Karkat Vantas: OH GOD, I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE. POOR GIRL.

[01/06/2012 04:13:32] Karkat Vantas: BUT YEAH YEAH, OKAY. *turns head as well*

[01/06/2012 04:15:00] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD THAT GUY. JESUS FUCK.

[01/06/2012 04:15:02] John Egbert: *looks at for a few seconds, trying not to laugh*

[01/06/2012 04:16:58] Karkat Vantas: *looks back at, widening his eyes a little before squinting a little* IS IT EVEN LIGHT ENOUGH IN HERE TO TELL? DID YOU SEE ANYTHING? GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS.

[01/06/2012 04:17:11] John Egbert: and hoo boy these awful dates. you see i'd totally never go on a blind date. terrible idea.

[01/06/2012 04:18:12] Karkat Vantas: NO, THAT WOULD BE AWFUL. BUT AT LEAST CUSACK KNEW NOT TO TALK TO THAT GIRL.

[01/06/2012 04:18:23] John Egbert: shoosh, karkat. okay let's see. *states at with mock-scrutiny* yup, just as i thought.

[01/06/2012 04:18:41] John Egbert: your whole eye is just a pupil, LOL.

[01/06/2012 04:20:21] Karkat Vantas: *shoves slightly* A WHOLE PUPIL, HUH? JUST SHUT UP, HA HA HA HA.

[01/06/2012 04:21:29] Karkat Vantas: WOW, LOOK AT THESE TWO. HE REALLY IS SMOOTH, DAMN.

[01/06/2012 04:21:35] John Egbert: yes, totally. your attraction levels are off the scaaaaale.

[01/06/2012 04:21:50] John Egbert: and well, not really! some of that was awkward as fuck.

[01/06/2012 04:23:18] Karkat Vantas: OH, I JUST CAN'T HELP HOW MUCH I AM ATTRACTED TO YOU. GOSH, I WAS TRYING TO HIDE IT, BUT I THINK MY EYES HAVE JUST COMPLETELY GIVEN ME AWAY! WELL FUCK.

[01/06/2012 04:23:55] Karkat Vantas: OKAY, MAYBE A LITTLE BIT. BUT FROM WHAT SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T SEEM TOO HORRIBLY OFF-PUT BY WHAT HE DID.

[01/06/2012 04:24:33] John Egbert: psssh, why is trying to hide it even a thing with you? you should be totally open about how gorgeous i am, like how i am with you. hahaha.

[01/06/2012 04:25:45] John Egbert: oh no, it's bobby. boo, hiss.

[01/06/2012 04:25:59] John Egbert: *deadpan*

[01/06/2012 04:28:02] Karkat Vantas: I WAS JOKING, OBVIOUSLY. HAVE I EVER TRIED TO HIDE IT TOO TERRIBLY? THOUGH I THINK IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO BE AS OPEN ABOUT IT AS YOU ARE, HA HA HA. BUT REALLY, YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS WAS COMPLETELY REFLECTED IN HOW WIDE MY EYES WERE.

[01/06/2012 04:28:35] John Egbert: oh man the ass thing. LOL.

[01/06/2012 04:28:37] Karkat Vantas: UGH, BOBBY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM. HER SISTER IS ONLY MENTIONING HIS LOOKS, UGH.

[01/06/2012 04:28:59] John Egbert: karkat, don't underestimate the attraction of a great ass.

[01/06/2012 04:28:59] Karkat Vantas: OH MAN ARE YOU GOING TO START ON THE ASS THING AGAIN?

[01/06/2012 04:29:17] John Egbert: i'm sorry, the movie is asking for it.

[01/06/2012 04:29:33] John Egbert: john cusack, ever the romanctic. aww.

[01/06/2012 04:30:28] Karkat Vantas: EXACTLY! HE IS SO GREAT IN THESE ROLES, I SWEAR. HIS ROMANTIC COMEDIES ARE SOME OF HIS BEST WORK.

[01/06/2012 04:30:55] Karkat Vantas: WOW, THAT WAS PRETTY LAME.

[01/06/2012 04:31:03] John Egbert: see, she should have mentioned his butt.

[01/06/2012 04:31:35] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A HORRIBLE IDEA.

[01/06/2012 04:31:46] John Egbert: always mention the butt, karkat. jeez.

[01/06/2012 04:32:47] Karkat Vantas: OH, RIGHT. I FORGOT HOW DROP DEAD ROMANTIC IT IS TO UTTER "WOW, YOUR ASS IS SO CUTE!" SHAME ON ME.

[01/06/2012 04:32:56] John Egbert: but you're right. john cusack is pretty charming in these types of roles. but this one isn't as good as the eighties ones.

[01/06/2012 04:33:01] John Egbert: too much middle-age.

[01/06/2012 04:33:24] John Egbert: it's totally romantic, shut your face.

[01/06/2012 04:34:12] Karkat Vantas: WELL IT'S ABOUT DIVORCED, MIDDLE-AGED PEOPLE. WHILE I AGREE THAT HIS OTHER 80S FILMS ARE A BIT BETTER, THIS ONE HAS BEEN PRETTY GREAT SO FAR. HE DEFINITELY AGED WELL.

[01/06/2012 04:34:50] Karkat Vantas: OF COURSE. HAVE I TOLD YOU RECENTLY HOW NICE OF A BUTT YOU HAVE, JOHN? I FELT I SHOULD REMIND YOU OF THIS. BECAUSE I AM TRYING MY HARDEST TO BE ROMANTIC RIGHT NOW.

[01/06/2012 04:35:07] John Egbert: yes, exactly! boring people.

[01/06/2012 04:35:27] Karkat Vantas: HE'S DEFINITELY NOT BORING.

[01/06/2012 04:35:38] John Egbert: you haven't, actually. which is pretty dissappointing comming from a self-proclaimed romantic expert! lol.

[01/06/2012 04:36:39] Karkat Vantas: I APOLOGIZE THEN. I WILL REMEMBER TO COMPLIMENT YOUR ASS OFTEN THEN. NOT AS OFTEN AS YOU DO THOUGH, THEN THAT WOULD BE ALL WE TALK ABOUT.

[01/06/2012 04:36:43] John Egbert: oh woah, here we go, karkat. we're at the...

[01/06/2012 04:36:47] John Egbert: RAW

[01/06/2012 04:36:50] Karkat Vantas: NO.

[01/06/2012 04:36:52] Karkat Vantas: STOP.

[01/06/2012 04:36:57] John Egbert: UNADULTERATED

[01/06/2012 04:37:02] Karkat Vantas: JOHN. DON'T YOU DARE.

[01/06/2012 04:37:09] John Egbert: PASSIONATE

[01/06/2012 04:37:12] John Egbert: LOVING

[01/06/2012 04:37:18] John Egbert: SEEEEEEEEEEXY

[01/06/2012 04:37:24] Karkat Vantas: IF YOU FINISH THIS.

[01/06/2012 04:37:26 | Edited 04:37:32] John Egbert: ...sexual intercourse.

[01/06/2012 04:37:28] Karkat Vantas: I SWEAR.

[01/06/2012 04:38:00] Karkat Vantas: *throws a pillow at him* OH MY GOD YOU REALLY FINISHED.

[01/06/2012 04:38:28] John Egbert: oh come on, i couldn't leave it on a cliffhanger! *chucks a pillow back*

[01/06/2012 04:39:22] John Egbert: hey dude, i could totally just look at you all night, too. cusack's got the right idea. haha.

[01/06/2012 04:39:27] Karkat Vantas: IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A CLIFFHANGER, EVERYONE AND THEIR GRANDMA KNOWS HOW THAT QUOTE FUCKING ENDS! *grabs it after he's hit and smacks him with it*

[01/06/2012 04:40:15] Karkat Vantas: WELL OF COURSE HE DOES. BUT YEAH, THAT'S TRUE. I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH LOOKING AT YOU ALL NIGHT, EITHER.

[01/06/2012 04:41:11] John Egbert: no way, the quote needed finishing and that's all there is to say.

[01/06/2012 04:41:30] John Egbert: yeeees, good. we should like, do that.

[01/06/2012 04:42:55] Karkat Vantas: WE SHOULD DEFINITELY DO THAT, YEAH. I WOULDN'T MIND TOO MUCH, OF COURSE.

[01/06/2012 04:43:52] John Egbert: i am totally okay with this. naturally.

[01/06/2012 04:44:16] John Egbert: and man, cusack's a nice guy. i can see why you like him, i guess.

[01/06/2012 04:44:38 | Edited 04:44:57] John Egbert: ew, dating cousins. WHAT IF. i was dating jane?

[01/06/2012 04:45:30] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, HE'S A REALLY GREAT GUY IN PRETTY MUCH ALL OF HIS FILMS. THESE TYPES, OF COURSE. AT LEAST YOU CAN SEE THAT.

[01/06/2012 04:45:58] Karkat Vantas: OH JESUS, DATING COUSINS? AND YOU, DATING JANE? THAT IS SOMETHING I WOULD RATHER NOT IMAGINE.

[01/06/2012 04:46:01] John Egbert: except for the sure thing! he was kind of a douche in that one, though he was okay in the end.

[01/06/2012 04:46:19] John Egbert: because she's my cousin, or because she's somebody other than you?

[01/06/2012 04:46:51] Karkat Vantas: WELL, JUST A LITTLE BIT. HE DEFINITELY IMPROVED AS THE FILM CARRIED ON, THOUGH. A LOT. THE GIRL WASN'T EXACTLY THE BEST AT FIRST, EITHER.

[01/06/2012 04:47:07] Karkat Vantas: AND MAYBE JUST A BIT OF BOTH.

[01/06/2012 04:48:31] John Egbert: hahaha. i've tried imagining dating other people before but it did nothing for me, hahaha. it'd suck.

[01/06/2012 04:49:06] John Egbert: anyway, online dating is for chumps. these people are all losers.

[01/06/2012 04:51:13] Karkat Vantas: HA HA, REALLY? I SUPPOSE IT'S THE SAME FOR ME TOO THOUGH. AS CHEESY AS ALL FUCK AS IT SOUNDS, I CAN'T SEE MYSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE.

[01/06/2012 04:51:29] John Egbert: oh, the trademark awkward john cusack phone call.

[01/06/2012 04:51:47] Karkat Vantas: AND YEAH, ONLINE DATING DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A GREAT IDEA AT ALL. THOUGH WHO KNOWS? MAYBE IT ONLY WORKS WELL FOR OLDER PEOPLE?

[01/06/2012 04:52:20] John Egbert: good, me neither. if you went off with some other dude it'd be like, wow, who's ass do i look after now? you know.

[01/06/2012 04:52:49] John Egbert: maybe! i always kind of thought it was just for desperate people.

[01/06/2012 04:55:04] John Egbert: oh no. see, you never trust the other love interest. we both knew bobby was going to be a dick.

[01/06/2012 04:55:04] Karkat Vantas: I'M GLAD TO KNOW THAT THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IS MY ASS. THAT IS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING I'VE HEARD!  MY BUTT HAS NEVER BEEN IN SUCH GOOD CARE.

[01/06/2012 04:55:43] John Egbert: hahaha, i'm just kidding, of course. there's a whole bunch of stuff i'd miss! little things.

[01/06/2012 04:56:13] Karkat Vantas: OBVIOUSLY HE WAS GOING TO BE. ANY GUY WHO HAS A KID THAT CUTE WHO ISN'T THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST HAS TO BE PRETTY SHITTY WITH WOMEN SOMEHOW.

[01/06/2012 04:56:22] John Egbert: and also the kissing. LOL.

[01/06/2012 04:56:51] John Egbert: the kid is just the HONEYTRAP, karkat.

[01/06/2012 04:57:49] John Egbert: OH NO.

[01/06/2012 04:58:06] Karkat Vantas: WELL, THE KISSING IS UH. PRETTY NICE. YEAH. BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER THINGS THAT I'D MISS TOO, YEAH.

[01/06/2012 04:58:31] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED. GOD DAMMIT AND THAT SOUNDED HORRIBLY INCRIMINATING.

[01/06/2012 04:58:46] John Egbert: i think you mean TOTALLY AWESOME.

[01/06/2012 04:58:54] John Egbert: and bobby totally did it on purpose, too.

[01/06/2012 04:59:38] Karkat Vantas: IN YOUR DREAMS. MAYBE. POSSIBLY. PROBABLY.

[01/06/2012 04:59:55] John Egbert: definitely! maybe.

[01/06/2012 05:01:55] Karkat Vantas: THANKSGIVING AT A STRIP BAR. SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA. WOW.

[01/06/2012 05:02:11] John Egbert: cusack was so sassy about it, hahaha.

[01/06/2012 05:02:21] John Egbert: "same my parents aren't here."

[01/06/2012 05:03:38] Karkat Vantas: YEAH, HA HA HA, HE'S PRETTY GOOD AT THAT.

[01/06/2012 05:04:29] John Egbert: oh my god karkat, i bet you like jane austen.

[01/06/2012 05:05:01] Karkat Vantas: ...I MAY HAVE READ SOME OF HER NOVELS.

[01/06/2012 05:05:27] John Egbert: did you swoon over whatshisface?

[01/06/2012 05:05:31] John Egbert: mr darcy?

[01/06/2012 05:06:23] Karkat Vantas: OH OF COURSE I DID. I WAS SWOONING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

[01/06/2012 05:07:07] Karkat Vantas: WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE IS ACTUALLY DOING THIS. SHE JUST NEEDS TO GO APOLOGIZE TO CUSACK AND GO TALK TO HIM.

[01/06/2012 05:07:50] John Egbert: yeah pretty much. or does she need to go after bobby? i mean, he had nothing going on with the blonde girl in the end.

[01/06/2012 05:08:10] John Egbert: (though cusack is obviously the better choice.)

[01/06/2012 05:09:20] Karkat Vantas: WELL, I SUPPOSE NOT. BUT HE SCREWED THINGS UP FOR THEM PRETTY BAD. AND YEAH, DESPITE THE KID SHE DOES NOT CLICK WITH THAT GUY AT ALL.

[01/06/2012 05:09:28] Karkat Vantas: OH SHIT, HE DID SEE HER.

[01/06/2012 05:09:42] John Egbert: jerkkkkkk.

[01/06/2012 05:10:45] John Egbert: and wow, did you say "see" her. like a really lame euphamism?

[01/06/2012 05:11:14] John Egbert: okay the glasses thing was actually pretty funny.

[01/06/2012 05:11:18] Karkat Vantas: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT, BUT SURE. IT WAS A GREAT EUPHAMISM.

[01/06/2012 05:11:24] Karkat Vantas: HE TOTALLY DESERVED THAT, THE ASSHOLE.

[01/06/2012 05:11:55] Karkat Vantas: CONDOM MAN. OH MY GOD.

[01/06/2012 05:11:57] John Egbert: condom-man.

[01/06/2012 05:12:05] John Egbert: MY FUTURE CAREER.

[01/06/2012 05:12:14] Karkat Vantas: OH. MY. GOD.

[01/06/2012 05:12:38] John Egbert: you can be my sidekick.

[01/06/2012 05:13:17] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD. NO. NO NO NO.

[01/06/2012 05:13:56] John Egbert: yeeeeeeees. although i am not sure what kind of superhero this would be.

[01/06/2012 05:14:13] John Egbert: delivering condoms to couples in need? LOL.

[01/06/2012 05:14:39] Karkat Vantas: SAVING THE WORLD ONE DESPERATE COUPLE AT A TIME. JESUS FUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT.

[01/06/2012 05:14:50] Karkat Vantas: YES YES! GO TO HIM! FIX THINGS RIGHT NOW!

[01/06/2012 05:15:30] Karkat Vantas: OH NOOOOOOO HE ACTUALLY SAW HER NO. NO NO NO.

[01/06/2012 05:15:52] John Egbert: oh and they even have the same favorite movies.

[01/06/2012 05:16:08] John Egbert: IT'S LOVE, KARKAT. hehehe.

[01/06/2012 05:16:43] John Egbert: see blondie doesn't understand his movies, it would never work between them.

[01/06/2012 05:17:18] Karkat Vantas: YES IT IS, HAHAHA. AND THAT'S TRUE. AND SHE IS PRETTY STUPID, JUST LISTEN TO HER.

[01/06/2012 05:17:48] John Egbert: yeah, she suuucks.

[01/06/2012 05:18:13] John Egbert: pfft, they're clearly going to get together though. these things are predictable.

[01/06/2012 05:19:02] John Egbert: oh man, i kind of want a dog.

[01/06/2012 05:19:06] Karkat Vantas: WELL, YEAH. BUT SEE WE DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, WHICH IS THE THING. IT LOOKS A LITTLE HOPELESS RIGHT NOW, IT'LL BE INTERESTING.

[01/06/2012 05:19:57] John Egbert: yeah, let's hope it's good. maybe an explosion or two. (lol!)

[01/06/2012 05:20:24] Karkat Vantas: A DOG? MAYBE. THEY'RE NOT THE EASIEST PET TO TAKE CARE OF BUT THEY'RE PRETTY LOYAL AND FRIENDLY, USUALLY.

[01/06/2012 05:20:51 | Edited 05:20:55] Karkat Vantas: AN EXPLOSION OR TWO. OF COURSE. I BET INSTEAD OF HACKING IT APART THAT BOAT IS GOING TO BE BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS.

[01/06/2012 05:21:02] John Egbert: yeah, exactly. they're not just pets! they're like, friends. almost.

[01/06/2012 05:21:53 | Edited 05:22:29] Karkat Vantas: THAT CAN BE SAID OF ALL PETS, THOUGH. HELL, EVEN MY CRAB IS MY FRIEND IN A WAY.

[01/06/2012 05:22:20] John Egbert: oh shit, i forget you had a crab.

[01/06/2012 05:22:38] Karkat Vantas: A LOT OF PEOPLE DO. HE'S KIND OF QUIET, HA HA HA.

[01/06/2012 05:23:08] John Egbert: unlike you! so much for pets being like the owner.

[01/06/2012 05:24:33] Karkat Vantas: OH, VERY FUNNY.

[01/06/2012 05:25:00] Karkat Vantas: OH MY GOD, LISTEN TO THIS. LOOK AT THIS. I DEFINITELY DIDN'T SEE THE BOAT THING COMING.

[01/06/2012 05:25:36] Karkat Vantas: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

[01/06/2012 05:25:36] John Egbert: oh, gross pda.

[01/06/2012 05:25:53] Karkat Vantas: WELL THE GUY OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T MIND.

[01/06/2012 05:26:02] John Egbert: that wasn't even just a kiss, it was full on snogging right in front of the cashier.

[01/06/2012 05:26:38] John Egbert: hahaha, gamzee probably wouldn't care if we made out in front of him, but you don't see us doing that.

[01/06/2012 05:27:29] Karkat Vantas: WELL, YEAH. OKAY. THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I'D EVER DO, BUT COME ON. IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE SECONDS, NOT LIKE FIVE MINUTES.

[01/06/2012 05:28:01] John Egbert: oh damn, there was me thinking you wanted up to up the ante in that department.

[01/06/2012 05:28:08] John Egbert: pdas, i mean.

[01/06/2012 05:29:19] Karkat Vantas: WHAT, DID YOU WANT TO START MAKING OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?

[01/06/2012 05:29:34] John Egbert: uh.

[01/06/2012 05:29:35] John Egbert: no.

[01/06/2012 05:29:48] Karkat Vantas: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, HA HA.

[01/06/2012 05:31:07] John Egbert: okay, i'll be sure to save that for when we're not like, in public.

[01/06/2012 05:31:24] John Egbert: also i think that movie was the worst cusack romacom we've watched.

[01/06/2012 05:31:57] Karkat Vantas: I MIGHT HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT. BUT IT WAS STILL GREAT REGARDLESS, OF COURSE.

[01/06/2012 05:32:24] John Egbert: hahaha, it was okay, i guess. not something i'd ever watch out of choice, though.

[01/06/2012 05:33:31] Karkat Vantas: OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T. I'M SURE YOU'D HARDLY WATCH ANY OF MY MOVIES JUST BY CHOICE, REALLY.

[01/06/2012 05:35:00] John Egbert: yeah, true. the only romcoms i watch my choice are good old mcconaughey flicks!

[01/06/2012 05:35:06] John Egbert: and quite right, too.

[01/06/2012 05:35:31] John Egbert: although, say anything and the sure thing were both great and i'm glad i saw them.

[01/06/2012 05:37:42] Karkat Vantas: MCCONAUGHEY'S ROMCOMS ARE PRETTY GOOD, I'LL ADMIT. NOT BETTER THEN CUSACK'S, OF COURSE, BUT STILL PRETTY GOOD.

[01/06/2012 05:38:02] Karkat Vantas: YES, AND I'M INCREDIBLY GLAD THAT YOU THINK SO. THEY ARE TWO OF MY MOST FAVORITE FILMS, OF COURSE. SAY ANYTHING ESPECIALLY WAS GREAT.

[01/06/2012 05:38:35] Karkat Vantas: I THINK YOU'RE FORGETTING FIFTY FIRST DATES IN THAT LIST. IF I RECALL YOU SAID THAT YOU LIKED IT? HAHAHAHA.

[01/06/2012 05:38:58 | Edited 05:39:04] John Egbert: ...only a little! it wasn't like, truly GREAT.

[01/06/2012 05:39:20] John Egbert: it was just sort of okayish.

[01/06/2012 05:39:39] Karkat Vantas: IT WAS TRULY GREAT AND YOU THINK SO TOO, COME ON. NO NEED TO BE SHY.

[01/06/2012 05:40:03] John Egbert: anyway, never mind what i did or did not say about fifty first dates.

[01/06/2012 05:40:18] Karkat Vantas: IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, I THOUGHT ARMMEGEDON WAS A GREAT FILM. SEE? I'LL ADMIT IT.

[01/06/2012 05:40:32] John Egbert: it was tolerable, and that is all you're getting from me!

[01/06/2012 05:41:02] John Egbert: pretty good, even? but not great.

[01/06/2012 05:41:36] Karkat Vantas: PRETTY GOOD IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION I SUPPOSE.

[01/06/2012 05:41:50] John Egbert: better than hitch. not sure if better than sendipitiy.

[01/06/2012 05:42:10] John Egbert: since that one has stupid plot, but some really beautiful moments.

[01/06/2012 05:42:49] John Egbert: that is a description of both of them, actually, LOL.

[01/06/2012 05:44:01 | Edited 05:44:11] Karkat Vantas: HITCH WAS A PRETTY FLAWLESS FILM, OKAY? AND THEY BOTH HAD WELL THOUGHT OUT PLOTS AND A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS. AND SERENDIPITY IS ONE OF THE INCREDIBLY FEW MOVIES I CAN STAND TITLE DROPS IN. BECAUSE IT IS JUST THAT GREAT.

[01/06/2012 05:44:44] John Egbert: hahaha, whatever you say, oafcookie. i'm going to bed.

[01/06/2012 05:44:50] John Egbert: are you staying?

[01/06/2012 05:47:24] Karkat Vantas: HMMM, GOOD QUESTION FUCKSACK! I GUESS I COULD STAY, THE ROOM IS SO FAR AWAY NOW AFTER ALL! I DOUBT MY WEARY FEET COULD MAKE IT THAT FAR THIS LATE AT NIGHT. THOUGH YOU WERE JUST MAKING SOME OFF PUTTING COMMENTS ABOUT MY FILMS. I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE I COULD DRAG MYSELF DOWN THERE AFTER ALL!

[01/06/2012 05:48:40] John Egbert: oh fuck you, dopepetal. you want to stay and you KNOW IT.

[01/06/2012 05:49:56] John Egbert: we do not even have to lie head to foot! and we can cuddle and stuff. quit being such a petty girly loser about it.

[01/06/2012 05:52:48] Karkat Vantas: I AM NOT BEING A PETTY GIRL LOSER ABOUT ANYTHING! IF YOU REALLY WANT ME TO STAY THAT BADLY, I SUPPOSE I COULD OVERLOOK ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS AND MAYBE DECIDE LAYING HEAD TO FOOT IS A STUPIDASS IDEA. ONLY BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUS HOW MUCH YOU WANT ME TO STAY, FUCKNUTS. I MIGHT WANT TO STAY TOO. JUST MAYBE, OF COURSE.

[01/06/2012 05:56:21] John Egbert: oh yes, in need you to stay sooooo badly. how do i get through one night without you?

just get in my bed already, dude! i have had it up to here with your bitching, haha.

[01/06/2012 06:01:39] Karkat Vantas: HOW DO YOU? YOU MUST TOSS AND TURN EVERY NIGHT! BUT YEAH YEAH, I'LL GET IN THEN. AND YOU NEVER CAN SEEM TO SAY THAT WITHOUT SOUNDING SUGGESTIVE. *climbs in* WOW, HEAD ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED! WHAT A NICE CHANGE.

[01/06/2012 06:04:56] John Egbert: pretty much, yes. you have me pegged. *climbs in next to him and puts and arm round*

and oh gosh, do i? totally accidental, i assure you. *wink*

yeah, i fure being my boyfriend grants you head-on-the-right-side priviledges. feel privilegded! hehehe.

[01/06/2012 06:06:34] John Egbert: and okay, i am seriously about to fall asleep here, haha. night, kitkat. i love you.

[01/06/2012 06:07:48] Karkat Vantas: IT'S A VERY NICE PRIVILEGE TO HAVE FOR SURE. I AM HONORED. *gets a bit closer, slinging an arm over him as well* GOOD NIGHT, JOHN. I LOVE YOU TOO.

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