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Talking about how much you miss something wont bring it back
When I really try to accurately describe the disassociation to someone I am always hit with the realization of just how insane I feel on a day to day basis because I’ve gotten so good at not analyzing the symptoms anymore
The constant blaring alarm going off in my head telling me I need to fix this as soon as possible because it’s very bad has been muffled which I guess is nice but I still feel the same
It’s like the house is on fire and we have no way to put it out but at least we’re not panicking about it
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A lot less liked than I used to be
By myself and others
I miss the clarity of pre disassociation
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Hate how drugs and alcohol can make people insanely inconsiderate with zero remorse or the ability to recognize how they’re constantly making people’s lives around them worse
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2025 and I’m still not myself again
Basically have to learn to mourn the death of myself
The suicidal thoughts linger a little longer these days but that’s all they are — thoughts
Pysch told me to hit him if the thoughts ever turn into plans luckily it never gets close to that
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The things I’d do just to turn off the disassociation for even one day
I miss feeling like myself more than I miss being fit, being younger, being in a relationship, more than anything
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Took my last Prozac yesterday
The physical withdrawal side effects are happening but not too bad
Really hope I can manage without a ssri
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