generalmajorlieutenant

[generalmajorlieutenant]

[generalmajorlieutenant]

Instead of Smashmouth or Happy Birthday running in my head for 20 seconds, I'll have Careless Whisper on constant loop

i think we should start sexualizing and romanticizing hygiene cause there is no other method left

[generalmajorlieutenant]

I'm wicked depressed and need to get back into writing and so far that's been some raunchy smut between a hot Witcher and his bard and while I have ideas I can't settle on any so if anyone wants to shoot me some good ole steamy Geralt/Jaskier prompts I'd be 🙏 eternally grateful

[generalmajorlieutenant]

Are you telling me that in John Wick Chapter 1, dad whispers in his puppy murdering son's ear, "he is called... The scary old lady"

“In Russian, Baba Yaga’s name is not capitalized. Indeed, it is not a name at all, but a description—“old lady yaga” or perhaps “scary old woman.”  There is often more than one Baba Yaga in a story, and thus we should really say “a Baba Yaga,” “the Baba Yaga.” We do so in these tales when a story would otherwise be confusing. We have continued the western tradition of capitalizing Baba Yaga, since the words cannot be translated and have no other meaning in English (aside perhaps from the pleasant associations of a rum baba).  There is no graceful way to put the name in the plural in English, and in Russian tales multiple iterations of Baba Yaga never appear at the same time, only in sequence: Baba Yaga sisters or cousins talk about one another, or send travelers along to one another, but they do not live together.  The first-person pronoun “I” in Russian, ‘ia,’ is also uncapitalized. In some tales our witch is called only “Yaga.” A few tales refer to her as “Yagishna,” a patronymic form suggesting that she is Yaga’s daughter rather than Yaga herself. (That in turn suggests that Baba Yaga reproduces parthenogenetically, and some scholars agree that she does.)  The lack of capitalization in every published Russian folktale also hints at Baba Yaga’s status as a type rather than an individual, a paradigmatic mean or frightening old woman.  This description in place of a name, too, could suggest that it was once a euphemism for another name or term, too holy or frightening to be spoken, and therefore now long forgotten.”

— Sibelan Forrester, from her introduction to Baba Yaga: The Wild Witch of the East in Russian Fairy Tales

[generalmajorlieutenant]

aight i’m about to get my hopes up

[generalmajorlieutenant]

Rewatching BtVS and if I'm not mistaken, Angel was cursed 80 years prior to the current BtVS setting.... That's nothing. That's like one generation. That's "my great grandma is the one who cursed him." That's NOT "the magics used to curse him are long lost to my people."

That's Jenny's grandma fuckin with her and telling her to use her "techno pagan powers" and Google it instead of reading great grandma's diary on the bookshelf in the living room

[generalmajorlieutenant]

I keep wondering why I'm so fucking poor playing TW3 and then I remember it's because I'm not taking bribes or accepting payment from the poor for services rendered

"oh jeez geralt ur fuckin WEAK"

"well at least I have a toast to my good health coming for me within the next 15 years"

[generalmajorlieutenant]

Couldn't he sue for wrongful termination? Especially if this company didn't include a social media clause in a contract. But I think, even then, what he posted wouldn't violate a "social media behavior" clause. I really don't think this is something he could get fired for.

Cody was fired for sharing a meme, on his day off. Then the bosses son messaged him after it went viral

[generalmajorlieutenant]

Am I going to buy a PS4 purely so I can play as an Amazon prime delivery man drinking Monsters of all things in a post apocalyptic world? Absolutely I am

[generalmajorlieutenant]

It's been 2 years since the release of Mass Effect Andromeda and I still want to know who the FUCK wrote "My face is tired," who SIGNED OFF on "My face is tired," who VERBALLY SPOKE, RECORDED, AND CONFIRMED THE PLACEMENT of the line "My face is tired," and why the FUCK their entire livelihood wasn't reduced to working for a local newspaper's comic section.

[generalmajorlieutenant]

If you think I'm removing my shoes in fucking Antartica you have got another thing coming

World map of tradition of removing shoes in home. Green: shoes removed; Blue: shoes not removed.

[generalmajorlieutenant]

Shepard: *is even remotely nice and/or chill*

Squadmates of the opposite sex: omg I love you too shepard let's fuck

Squadmates of the same sex: sorry I'm just not into you ((((a lie))))

[generalmajorlieutenant]

And then you talk to people and it's just Shepard saying "our shared misery is so hot get naked" in 3 equally blunt ways

Gee, thanks Mass Effect.

[generalmajorlieutenant]

[generalmajorlieutenant]

[generalmajorlieutenant]

Ashley: All these stairs would make for a great defensive position if this place were ever attacked

Shepard, marching through the Citadel Tower like it's nothing after facing down a million geth and ship destroying turrets: nOt DeFeNSiVe EnOuGh!!!

Literally every squadmate: Shepard is an outlier and should probably be considered an actual factor if ever making plans for doomsday events

[generalmajorlieutenant]

When you're such an asshole that a cryogenically frozen Prothean who was pretty much born and bred for Reaper War decides that killing ONLY YOU will have made all of it worth it--when he is in the midst of A Second Chance to destroy Reapers--I mean.... Wouldn't that make you... Step back and reflect on yourself, just a little??? Could you fuckin imagine being That Asshole? I mean, I'd reflect if a war-bred alien met me and went "I will die at peace if you were the last thing I ever killed, not the Thing that was the purpose of my birth"

How do you come back from that kind of insult?

Javik: MY MISSION IS TO KILL THE REAPERS. I DON’T EXIST FOR ANY OTHER PURPOSE.

Javik, after meeting kai leng for like one mission:

((when you hate kai leng more than you hate the reapers))