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Mammoth Gordon Ramsay: Oh, fuck me, you've just thrown a spear into my side. And another! This is fucking ridiculous. Hurts all the more knowing you're going to overcook me too
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Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man
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my blorbo appears on screen and I start making clicking-chattering noises like a cat when a bird flies past the window
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all water is full of a amazing fish called the gupping
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Two crows were observed perched silently atop a street light during a misty morning in coastal California. ♡
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i should be allowed to wear a sign around my neck that says "HAD WEIRD DREAMS LAST NIGHT DO NOT SPEAK TO ME UNLESS I SPEAK TO YOU"
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all porn online is basal and revolting so ive started jerking it to the smell of isopropyl alcohol
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Your straight male friends after two beers: "Hgey man can I smell your hair"
Your friend with the haunted shamisen: [plucks a baleful chord of ill portent]
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