gendafluid-goblin

[gendafluid-goblin]

Silly Octopus pt2

THIS IS A FIC ABOUT AZUL HAVING AN ED PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL TRIGGER OR MAKE YOU RELAPSE!!

Mostly a filler chapter of them learning how to function on land as they switch over and is pretty lighthearted before the really bad stuff comes

CW for pt2: very beginning Floyd talks about Azul’s body and pinches him. nothing else unless you want to include the tweels eating octopus dishes in front of Azul?

Azul was not left alone for the next 9 years. The twins still came around and hung out and talked with him thinking how they could trick people into making deals with Azul. They then took the carriage ride to Night Raven College and all three of them were put into Octavinelle. They all struggled with the switch from tailfins and tentacles to legs. Luckily NRC gave all merfolk students some classes before the real school year classes began that eased the switch a bit.

“Aww Azul, look your waist isn’t as chucky and squishy anymore.” Floyd complained, poking his friend's stomach and hips. Azul hadn’t actually seen what he had looked like with human features yet but was relieved to know he appeared thinner.

“Oh! Nevermind you still have some squishy parts here!” Floyd gave a wide smile pinching Azul’s stomach and sides quietly laughing to himself. And there went Azul’s confidence in his new body. He didn’t know why he had an expectation of looking thinner on land. Even though he wasn’t in his merfolk octopus body he was still slow and bigger than the other kids probably. Floyd eventually got tired of pinching and pulling on Azul and found something else to mess with and Azul spaced out debating if he wanted to look into the mirror at himself now or not. In the end he decided not to look at himself in fear of what exactly he would see.

Azul and the twins slowly made their way towards the room where all the merfolk got training and a rundown of NRC and the land. While the twins were having much less of an issue walking down the long hallway, only having to take slower shorter steps, Azul was holding onto the railing screwed into the wall to support his wobbly legs. After a few minutes which felt like forever for Azul they arrived at the training room. About 14 other students were already in the room sitting and chatting with each other. With no railing in the room Azul started to panic and sat in the seat closest to the door. Jade and Floyd joined him at the table smiling to each other as Azul looked around the room to see if he recognized anyone, to see if he would also be tormented at this school even in his new form. Everyone sat and talked except for Azul who was too focused on trying to come up with ideas on how he could be on the top of the school. He checked his watch impatiently. Class should’ve started already, maybe Night Raven College wasn't as good as a school it claimed to be if the teachers couldn’t even show up on time. Right after that the thought popped into his head there was a loud clap followed by a deep laugh.

“Welcome to Land Training little fish!” a very muscular man walked into the class wearing a red athletic jacket. Azul already felt dread just by looking at the man with his over the top loud voice. “My name is Coach Vargas. I’m the Physical Education teacher here and I'm going to teach all of you,” he paused and looked every merfolk student in the eye “how to get strong and buff!” Mentally, Azul had slammed his head against the desk several times.

“Um..We aren’t here for PE sir. We just need training on how to move around and adjust to our human bodies.” a random student spoke up to the buff teacher.

“I know that!” Vargas boomed and laughed to himself “But you need muscle for that don’t you!” the way he said it wasn’t actually a question but what he viewed as a fact. Azul had decided he’d rather teach himself at this rate because this oaf knew nothing. Class had droned on about the basics, left foot then right foot and repeat followed by some leg exercises to strengthen the muscles. It was time for lunch so everyone in class had made their way towards the school cafeteria. Everyone got food they had picked out from the lunch ghost and found places to sit and eat.

Azul picked and poked at his food but hadn’t yet taken a bite. “He looks like a lobster” Floyd had laughed with a mouth full of food. Jade nodded in agreement that their teacher did in fact remind him of a lobster from the Coral Sea. Jade and Floyd talked while eating, well Floyd talked WHILE eating but Jade talked in between eating.

 “Not gonna eat your food Azul?” Jade looked from Azul’s plate to Azul.

“It's weird having..cooked food.” Azul turned over his food again, looking at it suspiciously. “How are you two able to get used to it so fast?”  he looked to his peers and glanced at their nearly empty plates.

Floyd let out a quick laugh and Jade smiled at Azul, “Simple, we choose food that had something we already knew we enjoyed at home in it.” Now Azul was interested. Land had some of the same food from the Coral Sea so he could find some comfort and find something like his mom made for the restaurant here too?

“What was this dish you two were able to find?’ Azul straightened up looking over the plates again, it didn’t look like anything he had seen before.

Floyd grinned wide, “Takoyaki.” was all he said. Azul waited for him to expand his finding but it didn’t seem like it was going to happen as Floyd finished off his plate, so he looked to Jade.

“I had some delicious octopus carpaccio for myself.” Jade said after he finished eating the last of his plate. Azul looked at him in horror and then back to Floyd. If Jade was eating octopus what was the other twin eating?

Floyd only smiled before saying “Hope your family is okay.” Azul was once again horrified that his peers were eating octopus right in front of him! Both the twins got up to drop their dishes off with the ghost in charge of cleaning dishes leaving Azul alone and shocked. He did not eat his food and instead tossed it in the trash and gave his plate to the ghost.

[gendafluid-goblin]

Silly Octopus

THIS IS A FIC ABOUT AZUL HAVING AN ED PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WIL TRIGGER OR MAKE YOU RELAPSE!!

This is going to be split up into a few parts on here and I will update the tags with each part with was CW needs to be in each part. This is not canon at all and is somewhat of a vent/comfort fic for me and maybe other people with ED? Not everyone is the same so not everyone will feel better seeing fictional characters you kin going through things you did.

CW for part 1: Binge eating, (forced eating?? His mother made a lot of food and had him taste test), panic attack, light self harm (he accidently digs his nails into himself during a breakdown), depressive/ negative thoughts about himself

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

“Try this, Hunny!” Azul’s mother cooed as she held out a spoon of food. He opened his mouth and tasted the new food she was trying out for the restaurant. One spoon of taste testing soon turned into five, and then fifteen. Azul became full long ago but he couldn’t deny his mother. He knew the restaurant meant a lot to her and she wanted the menu to be unique and delicious. Chews became slower and longer the more food he tested.

“Is,” Azul’s mother paused watching her son chew and chew “Is it not good? Is there too much of something? Too little?” she started frantically looking over the dish as Azul shook his head ‘no’ finally swallowing the food. “Is it just a bad dish then? That’s fine I have plenty of others here you already liked. I have more prepared too!” she scooped up another mouthful of food onto the spoon.

“No mother I,” Azul paused looking for the right words.Words that wouldn’t hurt his mother. “It was a good dish, really. I just, I’m not hungry right now, I’ve filled up on the last few dishes.” He sighed and looked down at his waist, his waist looked bigger as he moved his tentacles around. He would have to work all of this off later for sure. “I can call over the Leech twins to finish testing if you'd like though.” Azul looked at all the meals he still hadn’t tasted. “I’d hate for you to waste these meals after all your hard work afterall.”

“Oh, no need Sweetie. I can store the rest and we’ll test them out later!” she smiled so, so brightly at him. She loved cooking, she cooked to show her love. Azul knew that,and he loved his mother, but he didn’t love her weekly taste testing.

Azul forced a smile and closed his eyes “Alright. Thank you,” giving his mother a kiss on the cheek he turned away, “I’m going to go now,” was all he said before he swam away.

Azul sat in his Octopot curled in a ball, grabbing at his waist. Pinching and squeezing where his tentacles met his stomach. He felt disgusted by what he saw, how much he was able to grab before feeling anything. “Silly fat octopus.” he quoted the kids his age with a shaky voice. “Why can’t I just be thinner. Then I’d be faster. I could keep up with everyone else. I could test my mother's food for her.” He gripped his waste tighter with each word as cries racked his body. Raising his hand to wipe his tears off his face he noticed blood surrounding him and on his fingers. Azul looked at his fingers on his left, then right hand, both were bloody. He then looked at his tentacles, two of them  had fingernail shaped cuts that were leaking blood into the water around him. 

Azul took several breaths to calm himself. “Oh.” he wiped his face of tears and ink. Three knocks hit his door as it flung open almost slamming into the wall.

“Hey Azzuulll!” Floyd moved away from the door and swam into the room quickly. Much faster than he could ever swim, Azul thought to himself. Jade gave a small smile and closed the door swimming over to his twin. “Azul, where are you. I know you’re in here.” Floyd snapped.

“Floyd,” Jade looked around the room and pointed to his nose. “Don’t you smell that?” Of course Jade and Floyd would be able to smell the blood from just moments ago. Azul didn’t want anyone to know about what happened. He was embarrassed to say something so silly as ‘I got upset about eating food and being so fat and useless that I accidently cut my tentacles.’; He would sound so much more pathetic than everyone already thinks he is.

“Aww someone got to eat big Azul before me. Not fair.” Floyd pouted.He didn’t have to see his face to hear the pout in his voice. Was he seriously upset that he didn’t get to eat him? Did he really call him big? Azul slowly crawled out of his Octopot and faced the twins.

“Oh good! You’re still alive!” Floyd cheered and swam over to Azul. “I couldn’t stand the idea of someone taking a bite outta you before I do.” Floyd threateningly whispered. Azul shivered and slowly backed away from Floyd giving a weary smile. Jade watched the interaction between his brother and peer when he noticed the blood smell was actually coming from Azul’s tentacles. Not knowing what to say or just not caring enough to ask, he let it drop. 

“What brought you over anyway?” Azul asked when he deemed himself a safe distance from Floyd. ‘Not like it would matter anyway, they’re both much faster than me and could easily catch and eat me.’ Azul’s darker thoughts about himself popped in again.

“We were just swimming around and I got tired of scaring lil fish so I thought we could visit you.” Floyd said swimming in small circles to keep himself entertained while talking.

Azul thought over his words with a pause, “So I’m just here for your entertainment and amusement then I see?” it came out a bit more harsh than he had meant it to. However, they did burst in unannounced and furthermore at a bad time for him. There was no doubt that at least one of the Leech twins had realized the blood was from him and yet he was seemingly fine. Why weren’t they asking about it? They had to know something was up. Then it clicked, they don’t care WHY he’s bleeding. Floyd laid it out that they’re here being they were bored and he’s here to amuse them. Neither of them care about him or his well being as long as he can entertain them. While Azul’s mind led him down that rabbit hole thinking Jade was staring at him as Floyd continued to swim around and mess with things in Azul’s room. Jade looked into Azul’s eyes and just gave a smile.

“If it’s a bad time we can leave.” was all he said looking from Azul’s eyes to his tentacles then back in his eyes. He knew. And now Azul KNEW that Jade knew. Azul felt like he was suffocating, his throat was closing and his head started to pound in his head. He was panicking, he was scared what would happen with this information. Azul’s vision started to blur. ‘Were his only friends going to leave him behind and tell everyone how weak and pathetic he is to all of the other kids? Of course they would. He was slow, and weak, and a crybaby. No one ever wanted to play with him because it was too easy and boring and now he lost the only people who were somewhat nice to him.’ Azul’s breathing picked up rapidly while he was stuck in his thoughts, head spinning and tears and ink back in his eyes as he tightened and loosened his hands in a fist.

Jade watched the scene unfold in front of him and tapped his brother on the shoulder and leaned over to him. “I think Azul isn’t feeling well, we should leave unless you want to get sick.”

“Eww I don’t wanna get all sick and gross.” is all Floyd said, sticking his tongue out before quickly swimming out of the room. Jade swam out shortly after his brother and closed the door leaving Azul alone once again. Not that he would notice that no one else was left or that he cared. Azul had faintly seen Jade whisper to Floyd and then both of them leaving and it left his mind to continue wondering to the negative thoughts again thinking he was going to be all alone again. Back to the lonely, silly little octopus that he was before the twins came along. Azul floated back to his Octopot where he curled up and continued his breakdown of crying. He didn't even know why he was crying anymore. Was it because he thought and feared that once again he was alone with no one else? Or was it a continuation of his thoughts over his weight and insecurities the other children planted in him? He wasn’t sure and honestly it didn't matter anyway, all thoughts blended together into his self hatred filled thoughts.

[gendafluid-goblin]

Ch 1. How it Started

So new story because I can't focus on a single fandom. This is also on AO3 under the title How to Create a Monster. This story is about the Akutagawa siblings and how Gin slowly watches Akutagawa become what she calls a monster.

TW: minor injury (only mentioned not described), yelling, mention of death at the end.

THIS IS NOT A SHIP POST THERE WILL BE NO ACTIVE SHIPS AT ALL IN THIS STORY!!

Gin wasn’t able to spend much time with her brother as they grew up in the Port Mafia. First it was Dazai “training” her brother and she was busy training as well, although much less violently towards herself than what he was going through. When he did get home she would already have eaten and getting ready for bed.

That was until the first week Akutagawa came home beaten and bloody every night from his so-called mentor. After that first week she stayed up ready with the makeshift first aid kit to try and bandage him up at least a little. Gin was never allowed to ask questions about what happened to him, why it was happening or why her brother kept working under this monster. Whenever she did attempt to ask Akutagawa would get angry and start to yell, no longer letting her bandage him up. It had become a nightly occurrence, unless he didn’t come home that night. It scared Gin at first not knowing where her brother was or if he was alive. Well not just at first, to be honest she was still scared for her brother even years later.

One night Akutagawa came home late, later than he usually was, but Gin was still up with the first aid waiting to bandage him up. One look at her brother though and she could tell he was in pain, not physical like most nights though. “What happened, Ryunosuke?” she slowly stood and started to walk over to him. His form shaking slightly as Gin neared him. “Ryuu?” she called out to him.

“I don’t need your pity! Go away Gin!” he yelled and completely turned his body away from her. He let out a couple of small coughs and Gin got closer still wanting to comfort her brother. Putting a hand on his shoulder she lightly tugged on him wanting him to face her.

“I don’t pity you Ryuu, you know that. I just want to help but I can’t help unless you talk to me.” Akutagawa sniffed at her words and slowly turned to his sister, tears in his eyes. Gin took a brief glance at his face but in that time she was able to see he had no new injuries. Dazai wasn’t there, at least not today. She had the feeling that he wouldn’t be back though; Gin knew how much her brother wanted to impress and live up to his standards and how he looked up to the monster and he hadn’t acted this way since they were children after their group of friends had died. Sighing Gin rubbed Akutagawa’s back slowly, no words were said, none were needed.

[gendafluid-goblin]

So I started writing an AU where crying child (Evan) lived and wanted to post it here..I'll probably post it to AO3 later but for now here's the first part!

Warnings: mentions of abuse (William is not a good parent), FNAF lore following the bite of '83, swearing. I think that's all but let me know if I need to add!

PART 1

Evan knew Michael was pulling a prank on him again. He always did and it was worse when his friends were around, which was often.

“Come on guys lets give the little man a lift he wants to get close and personal” Michael taunted his friends stupidly nodding and chuckling along.

“Yeah, yeah, how about you give him a nice big smooch” the boy in the bunny mask laughed out. The four boys picked up Evan and carried him towards the stage where Spring Bonnie and Fredbear were performing.

“Stop! This isn’t funny Michael! Put me down! Mom! Dad!” he cried flaring around in the older boy's arms. Evan’s cries weren’t heard by anyone, or at least no one came to help.

“Come on Fred bear wants to give you a birthday kiss” the chicken masked boy spoke, lifting Evan up to the animatronic’s mouth. Evan wondered why he was in this situation, he hated Fred bear's family diner, his family knew that he had night terrors of the animatronics every night. It was probably his fathers doing, or Michael. He knew neither of them really liked them, he was sure Elizabeth hated him too if he was being honest. She always stole his toys and would refuse to give them back unless they were torn or broken. Michael would always prank him and try to scare him until he cried and then he’d leave him alone to cry. Father would yell at him to stop crying or he’d give him something to cry about, but he always thought he did have something to cry about. He didn’t WANT to cry all the time and be made fun of, it was just an endless loop of Evan’s life. Before he knew it he was inside of Fredbear’s mouth and he started to panic, crying harder and trying to wiggle himself out of the animatronics mouth while it sang. Evan could hear his brother and friends laughing from below him right before he heard a crack and pain shot through the crown of his head, the last thing he heard was “Oh shit!” from Michael until it all turned black.

[gendafluid-goblin]

// implied child abuse

For all I care, Henry is Michael's dad

[gendafluid-goblin]

I think I’m gonna post writings on here..