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Reminiscence of ‘The Cloud’

The experience surrounding my Rite of Parent Divination (or RPD) was one of the most intense, exciting, and terrifying experiences of my life.  This is not because I was afraid certain Netjer would or would not show up as is the case for some - for me it was almost totally the fear of the unknown, while also knowing absolutely, that there would be something different about mine, but I had no idea what that something was.  As it turned out, this knowing there would be something, but not knowing what that something was specifically, was akin to looking through a cloud, which is the exact reading I received for my Akhu divination.

According to my Akhu (or, ancestors) this reading was Them speaking through a cloud, which means that, my life, my future, where I was headed, was akin to a cloud in the sky, where, when the sky is partly cloudy, there are parts that are not yet seen, as they are still under cloud cover.  This meant that in my life there were parts of my future that were also not yet known, as they were still “behind a cloud”.  At the time I was cautioned that I needed to be extra careful, because this was the time I would be most vulnerable to wrong decisions that seem like the right ones.  I remember feeling at the time, how beautiful a metaphor this was, and also what perfect advice it was, since I had been so indecisive  for most of my life, and I was still in that indecisive place.  It turns out that this was excellent advice as I have, over the last few years, made some poor decisions that seemed appropriate at the time, including going to nursing school only to not finish due to the inappropriateness of that decision.

I have often reflected upon this reading, particularly in my darker times, having realized my mistakes.  I think that I didn't fully understand what my Akhu were telling me, so I did not always appreciate the magnitude of their words.  I often go back and re-read this divination, and I find that it really helps to regain my focus when I am contemplating a big decision.  Over the last few years I have been very careful to not invest the time and energy into something until and unless I am absolutely sure it is on my true path (which isn't fully visible yet).  I have worried in the past, that I am not getting any younger and that I should grab opportunities when they approach me, but I have learned this is also exactly how I get lost.  Instead, I need to invest that time in making sure this decision is the right thing to do, and not worry so much that I may never get the chance again, because it may very well be that it is simply the wrong road to take.  It should also be noted here, that this new way of decision-making in no way prevents me from living my life, it only helps me to gain clarity first.

Ultimately, this new way of thinking has led me to the love of my life, living in a brand new small but beautiful community, working as a family counsellor which, it turns out, may very well be my passion in life.  I leave work each evening feeling like I am truly making a difference, and I wake up in the morning ready to start my day.  I now make more money than I ever have before, and I work part-time doing it, only working a 4-day work week, so my stress is minimal.  I have thought about taking some counselling courses, but I am actually hesitant to do it just yet, until I am absolutely sure I am where I need to be before investing a significant amount of money in school.  However, with all of that said, life is really, really good right now!  I have some challenges, naturally, but overall, I do feel that I can take on (most of) the world.  Dua Akhu!  

[geminisbalance-blog]

The Balance of Home

In celebration of the month of July and the month of ‘independence’, I wanted to talk a bit about balance of another kind; the fact that I am a citizen of the United States AND a permanent resident of Canada.  I have said it before and I will continue to say it - I love Canada.  Since my first day in this beautiful country in 2009 up to now, my impressions have not changed.  I found Canada to be a beautiful country full of wonderful people, who have instilled in past generations a tremendous sense of community that is evident in all of the areas of Canada I have lived in.  

As someone born and raised in the United States and then moved to Canada via marriage, and stayed completely by choice through a lifestyle I prefer, I can comment on the similarities and differences.  The language, food choices and overall culture may be similar, but the differences start to be evident in the day-to-day living, which is typically not seen by a local traveler to Canada; one must actually live and work here to experience what it means to be Canadian (meaning, not necessarily a citizen, but a permanent resident as well).  

Many of the holidays are very similar.  Just like in the United States, we have Thanksgiving, Labor Day, Memorial Day, and Independence Day.  When I first arrived in Canada, it seemed a bit strange and interesting that the reciprocal holidays in Canada generally occur just before the ones in the United States.  It was actually pointed out to me by a Canadian in a joking manner, that Canada chose their dates so that they could one-up the United States by doing them “first”.  However, what I have learned is that this is solely a joke and has really, no bearing on fact when you consider that MEANING is the important part.  In my earlier days in Canada, I attempted to keep the culture of both countries alive by celebrating all holidays in both countries.  This seemed to make sense in the beginning, but I found this practice to be exhausting, time consuming, and completely inconvenient, as once I joined the workforce, this would mean taking the “American” days off without pay, because these were not considered holidays.  After a few years, I abandoned this practice due to impracticality.

What I do now is to celebrate the ones here in Canada, with my fellow Canadians, and I find that I am really not missing out on anything by not celebrating the ones in the United States.  This is because I have discovered that, it is not the dates that matter, it’s the meaning of the day being celebrated.  When I celebrate something like Independence Day (Which in Canada falls on 1 July) I also think about the meaning of Independence Day in the United States as well.  The fact that it occurs three days later doesn't matter, it is about the meaning.  I think that, wherever I am, does not have to mean my heart has to follow - it can be in Canada on July 1st and in the United States on July 4th.

[geminisbalance-blog]

Bringing Back Balance

I love the fact that I have what I call “unique parentage”.  It also always amazes me just how perfect the combination of Bast and Amunet is for me, and with the addition of Set as beloved, it both describes the ‘me’ I have always been and balances me so perfectly that, at times I am still in awe of what the three of them mean to me.  Sometimes I sit back and think about how they have supported me throughout my life, even when I was unaware of them.

Recently I had to take a step back from my practices due to incredible and intense situations such as completely re-vamping my life in a new relationship, new physical environment, becoming a student, and then making the decision to take my life in an entirely new direction.  With everything going on, it was understandable that I needed to back up and find myself again.  However, I hadn't anticipated how difficult it would be to re-join my spirit after being gone for so long.  I struggled not only with no spot for shrines, but also then, the guilt of not re-establishing my practice for what I considered “frivolous reasons”.  

One thing that has really helped is the knowledge that, first of all, I know I am on the right track now, and I've received many blessings from Them in support of where I am going.  Another thing that has helped is that I went back to the very beginning of my spiritual journey and re-read everything I had, which was a lot.  I had saved my RPD questionnaire that I had sent in prior to my divination, the divination itself, and all interactions with my new sister, plus all of the research I had done up to that point, mainly in regard to Bast, Amunet, and Set.  What I realized is how accurate my divination actually was, and it made me feel much closer to Them, even more so than I had at the time of my divination.  I think it helped, not only having the time to reflect, but also because it wasn't actively happening and I felt more like an outsider reading a novel written by my favorite author.  It helped to have the sequence of events put together and ‘flowing’ rather than getting it in chunks of information.

I can’t say that I will be back to where I had been prior to the uprooting of my life, but I do feel that direction is slowly coming back into focus, and I am feeling spiritual again.  It always amazes me how powerful guilt is, and how it can keep you away from the things you love longer than you ever intended.  We actually have to make an effort to push it away, and so that is what I am doing.  I feel so strongly about this that I may address the concept of guilt in decision-making from a counselling perspective, in a future post. 

[geminisbalance-blog]

The Gist of Goal-Setting

Last night I facilitated a group where the focus of the session was goal setting.  It occurred to me that, in the past I have not followed through with my goals, mainly because the format is usually confusing with no way of tracking or maintaining follow-through.  Goal setting with the SMART acronym seems all the rage lately, but I've realized this method doesn't really work for me.  I’m not saying this is a bad method, only that it’s almost too structured and doesn't seem to allow for much flexibility, which is something that I really need.

For those who haven’t heard of this method, the acronym ‘SMART’ stands for  Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely.  Before I go any further with this, I would like to point out that I have actually used SMART for goal-setting.  As someone who has lived with ADHD, I can tell you that it is possible to be TOO structured, and I have found this method to be inflexible and actually traumatic, due to the pressure of condensing everything into one big glob of inspiration.

For myself and for people who think in similar terms as me, I have found that Solution Focused framework to be much more efficient, flexible, and simple.  By taking the structure out of goal setting (ie, it isn't necessary to write a complete sentence encompassing all of the components of the word ‘SMART’) and including the idea of scaling (which involves on a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you to that 10, what would it take to move 1 point higher, and who will notice when you do) it is possible to use many of the components of SMART without feeling ‘pressured’ to write a masterpiece.  Because this method is so much more versatile, you can use elements of your personality, your personal tools, and your values to develop goals that make sense to you personally.  

The bottom line for goal setting, really, is whether or not the method is working.  If it doesn't make sense to use a certain format, then goal setting will not work, and then I have to ask, what is the point of bothering to set a goal?  The great thing about humanity is that we are all different.  What works for one person will generally not work for everyone, so I think it is fantastic that we have choices.  Individuality is what makes us human, and to be human allows us to understand we have choices in everything we do.  We also have the power to change our minds - if something doesn't work, try something else.  Humanity - and change - is a beautiful thing! 

[geminisbalance-blog]

Introducing.. Love, Balance, and Chaos, Oh My!!

Hello, I am a new blogger, and I wanted to start off by providing a brief introduction. (HA!  Those who know me are now probably waiting for hell to freeze over, as I am NEVER brief).  The short-short introduction is that you may call me either Asha or Gemini, as you prefer.  I am known in the Kemetic Orthodoxy community as S’ashasenu, which is a name given to me by my beautiful mothers, Bast and Amunet.  Until recently, I had been using the shortened version of S’asha, however, these days I find the short-short version of Asha to be more “me”, and so this is the version I prefer.  I’ve also found that the name Gemini is highly descriptive and beautifully describes my relationship with my Mothers, and so I have been preferring to use Gemini more and more.  To me, Gemini (the twins) means balance.  Balancing two.  Two Mothers.  Two lives, personal life and professional.  Love and Chaos equals balance, and that’s what my life has been - filled with both, but still balanced.

I wanted to join the Tumblr community because, basically, I have a lot to say about a lot of different things.  I would describe myself as a bit of an academic, although not as much as some.  I do have a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and I am currently working as a family counsellor, which I love.  My go-to theory that I work with is the Narrative approach, although I do include some elements of the Solution Focused approach as well.  Although I am not pursuing advanced education currently, I believe this is inevitable and I will be a student again in the fairly near future.  As a counsellor, I am a people person.  I love exploring relationships in general, and connecting to a variety of people, places, emotions, and other things.  For me connection is the secret to life - when we disconnect from the things that we love, we actually lose our human connections, which breaks our physical body connection to the earth and the universe.

I have a fiancée who will soon become my husband, four wonderful grown children, two beautiful cats, and two huffy little hedgehogs.  I mention this mainly because you may see posts about my family as well.  I plan to use my blog to discuss a wide variety of topics which may include family, my work in counselling, my experiences as a Shemsu in Kemetic Orthodoxy, and my wide interests in psychology and neuroscience, ancient cultures, and human nature.  I hope to keep up with this blog and post regularly, but it remains to be seen whether that happens or not!  In the meantime, I am looking forward to exploring Tumblr and sharing my thoughts, dreams, and inspirations with the community.