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Welcome 🌈

Nice to meet you! I was born in the year 2000. Before coming out in 2017, I was totally oblivious to much of the gay subculture that came before me. I loved to talk about being gay but the only things I knew were lesbians had short nails and liked wearing ponytails (did that just rhyme?). Although those things did sharpen my gaydar and help me feel inclusive, they did not really reveal to me how rich our gay culture was or how much I could learn from being a part of LGBT. 

I received the fundamentals of my education from Juno Dawson, who wrote ‘This Book Is Gay’. It was this book that introduced me to the idea of ‘gay icons’ and to ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’. I instantly became a fan. 

So, after finishing 3 seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race and was left with Heaps of Cher and Madonna references, I was determined to do my own research on the women who inspired so many generations of queer people, most specifically our brothers - gay men. 

I did not realize when I started just how much I would get out of knowing these icons. They were the divas who brought light to the world of many a gay man who felt underrepresented and deprived of hope in their lives. I have to say, I went in completely unaware that I would get a changed perspective on life ( I now carry the soul of a gay man even though I am lesbian ). 

I hope this blog treat you nicely as I am going to take you on a stellar gaycation ✨.  Have you packed your bags?  

                                      Image by  Kayleigh Marie Adamson via Penn State 

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Oh hey, that’s Judy Garland!

I was 8 years old the first time I watched ‘The Wizard of Oz’. I had absolutely no idea then what the film had to do with being gay or how much it meant to the gay community. 

‘The Wizard of Oz’ was released in 1939. It centered on Dorothy Gale, a sweet but unhappy girl from a monochrome world who dreamed of a land over the rainbow.

She was whisked away one day by a tornado to the land of Oz where everything was in technicolor. Here she would meet odd creatures, the Scarecrow who lacked a brain, the Tin Man who didn’t have a heart and the Cowardly Lion who wanted courage. Despite their imperfections. Dorothy befriended these creatures, she loved and accepted them and took them on an adventure with her.

The film was received wholeheartedly by the gay community upon its release. Gay men then, who were treated with anything but acceptance, were wildly touched by Dorothy’s kindness. Soon enough ‘Friends of Dorothy’ became a code word for ‘gay’. In the 1930s, discrimination against homosexuals, especially gay men, was so harsh it was almost like the Jim Crow laws only without the lynching. Gay people were prohibited from going to work or visiting bars and restaurants. Their lives were suppressed by the police and the authorities made sure that they were treated as an inferior class of people. Everywhere they went, gay men had to identify each other by asking the question ‘Are you a friend of Dorothy?’ 

                                  Image by  Kayleigh Marie Adamson via Penn State

The movie also popularized the song “Somewhere over the rainbow” which Dorothy sang in an unhappy state, wishing to be in a place far from the black and white town that was treating her badly. The land that she dreamt of had no troubles but only love, friendship and acceptance. Dorothy’s desire in the film mirrored the feelings of the gay man who was stuck in a small town that discriminated against him and his desire to go to big cities where he would be surrounded by more people like him, who would give him love and acceptance. 

“Somewhere over the rainbow” has been a gay anthem since 1939.

It’s safe to say that Judy Garland became a gay icon because the character Dorothy whom she played, was a gay icon. The love that gay fans had for Dorothy evolved to a love for Judy that persisted long after ‘The Wizard of Oz’ ended. 

Judy Garland, or Dorothy in real life, was a woman of tragedy. She was exploited by her mother and mistreated by her record company - who gave her all sorts of drugs as a child to lose weight and maintain working schedules, she was even sexually harrassed by her manager. Judy carried a drug and alcolhol addiction her entire life because of this horrible upbringing. She also had a tendency to commit suicide and harm herself in front of people as a way of asking for love and attention. One might think that Judy would lose all her fans because of this but the fact that she was a victim and still had a bad reputation in the public eye only made gay men of the time identify with her more. 

Judy tried to quit many shows due to her instability and anxiety but was always said to have come on stage at the last minute and devoted everything she had to the audience, this made her performances all too vulnerable and real. But her gay fans worshipped her because amid the pain and bravery she showed on stage, they got to see how human and reachable she was. Fans were able to identify with her tragedy and felt sorry for her as much as they felt sorry for themselves. The more love her fans gave her, the more of herself she gave to them. She was described to be “feeding the audience her soul” and “letting her stage persona devoured her”. 

Despite the life struggles that never stopped troubling her until she died, Judy still gained recognition for her extraordinary talent by winning many prestigious awards. Her last concert, ‘Judy At Carnegie Hall’, which she performed alone on stage for 2 hours with nothing but herself and her superhuman strength, won her an a Grammy Award for Album of the Year. 

Judy Garland was adored by gay men who went through tragedy in their lives. They needed her courage to get back up and her acceptance to go through life. She gave people the power and strength to cope. She was the Dorothy who grew up to deal with so much sh!t in life and became the victim. But despite the personal struggles and failures, everytime Judy got up and performed, there’s an amazing power within her that moved people. She could touch anyone with her talent. “Judy is a sense of hope”. 

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“Judy Garland’s got nothing on me”

Said Cher when asked about her thoughts on why she became a gay icon. “I think what you guys like is a strong woman that’s having a breakdown constantly, and that certainly is me. Judy Garland’s got nothing on me.” The multi-award winning singer and actress talked about how gay men came to love her. 

For a person my age, Cher is like some sort of legend in mythology. I knew her name because she was so popular but I wasn’t born during her reign. But Cher is the most long-standing artist I have ever known. Cher has enjoyed a career that spans over 6 decades. She has been around since 1963. She has a career longer than my mom’s life and is still going on tour at 72 years old.

I thought being as young as I am, I wouldn’t be able to relate to her. But I just saw her on Twitter 14 hours ago so that solved everything. I do have to say though, great things like the importance of a diva to our gay culture, can slip under the radar for a person my age unless some research is done.

1) Cher the outcast: 

 Her 70s hits ‘Half breed’ and ‘Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves’ 

Cher has been a gay icon since the 70s with the performances of 2 songs: ‘Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves’ and ‘Half breed’ . In both of these hits, Cher sang about the discrimination that made her an outcast being a mixed race child .The songs were all about stereotypes and their lyrics struck a chord with gay men of that era, “They’d call us gypsys, tramps and thieves/ But every night all the men would come around/ And lay their money down”. “We never settled, went from town to town/ When you’re not welcome you don’t hang around/ The other children always laughed at me/ We weren’t accepted and I felt ashamed.

Gay men identified with Cher because she knew what it felt like to be an outcast. “When Sonny [Bono] and I first started, we were wearing clothes that no one was wearing and that got us into trouble,” she said. “People thought we were freaks. There’s a penalty when you’re the first to try something different.”  “In the mid-'60s Sonny and I had such a hard time in America -- kids liked us, but grown-ups hated us.  They didn't understand why we looked the way we did, and thought we were dirty.”

The 70s saw a shift in gay rights. Homosexuality was no longer listed as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association. Although having received better treatment from society than the period of 1930-1960 when Judy Garland was popular, gay men in the 70s were still the black sheeps of society.   

2) Cher fights the odds and tragedy in life: 

By the 70s Cher had been in the industry for a decade and had already dealt with numerous setbacks in her career and relationship with late husband Sonny Bono - who was also her producer and partner on stage. 

Sonny and Cher’s marriage struggled because he was always trying to control her career and she would always succeed without his guidance. His plans and advice for her were always leaving her on the wrong track. 

Cher would go on to the 1980s, 1990s, 2000s and 2010s. She would become the only recording artist to have a number 1 song on Billboard for every decade from the 1960s.

To achieve the kind of success and longevity she had, Cher had to reinvent herself constantly to stay in touch with the times. Her career hit many stumbling blocks as she did this, but she maintained an artistic integrity that always pushed her to go after what she believed in. But it’s not always easy for her as everytime she tried to do something new in her career, she was criticized by people who told her she would fail. 

The way Cher flew in the face of criticism and stereotypes was especially empowering to gay men, who had to face insurmountable difficulties in their own lives. They idolized Cher because she had the kinds of setbacks in life that would devastate a normal person and sent them on early retirement. But as we all know, Cher failed only to get back up. 

In the 1970s, gay men with their new rights didn’t want to be judged solely on their sexual identity. They wanted to be recognzied for who they were as an employee, a person and a citizen. In pursuing this dream, they had to battle with many stereotypes that were telling them what they could or could not do. They looked up to Cher because she didn’t quit even if she was held back. 

Everytime people told her she couldn’t do something, Cher would do exactly what she wanted and she would succeed. When she was announced the lead actress on ‘Moonstruck’ (1987), Cher remembered everyone in a press conference laughing at her for being a singer ‘thinking she could act’. Nonetheless, Cher follwed her intuition and took on the role. She won an Oscar. Hey, your girl got talent. 

3) Cher wears dazzling, over the top sequinned outfits. She’s quite campy. It’s hella awesome!

After the 60s, gay men’s status changed and the need for a new icon with more progressive values was starting to emerge. People started to value “camp” - a theatrical, flamboyant and over the top way of dealing with life’s difficulties. A lot of the gay culture that proceeded was about flamboyance and fun. Cher definitely knows everything about being flamboyant. From the beginning of time, she had worn amazing ,dazzling and sequinned outfits. She has never failed to be this larger than life person with a great dressing style.

A woman who fights all the odds, survives being an outcast, always shows up in style and wins all the greatest achievements to build her own “one woman empire”, all the while people tell her she cannot. Cher is a legend.

Cher in 1970

Cher in 2017!!

4) Her son Chaz Bono. 

After accepting her daughter Chastity’s coming out as a lesbian and later on a transgender man. Cher has been advocating for gay equality as she believed gay people don’t have the same rights as others do. 

5) Cher’s marks on popular culture. 

Cher dolls were mass produced and were even more popular than barbies.

Cher appeared as a cameo on “Will and Grace”, as Jack McFarland’s goddess.

She played a lesbian in the film ‘Silkwood’ with Meryl Streep

Music

‘Believe’ - the “pioneering song using Autotune”

‘If I could turn back time’ - where she danced with a hundred something sailors on a gigantic battleship and sat on a Canon, I repeat a Canon.

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Madonna for life

Madonna Louise Ciccone is a legend. She is beloved by many gay people. But I am just one gay person who only knows about her from the Internet. But I am going to tell you, I have never seen or met a person like her in my life. 

I feel so glad and blessed to know her. If I hadn’t been gay or opened to the community’s culture, I wouldn’t have known of her influence given my age. I could live my life without knowing this amazing figure.  Madonna was also a Hot gay icon. She was hot in every sense of the word: worldly famous, sexually provocative, sexy.  

It took me many hours watching her past music videos, performances, speeches and documentaries to also conclude that, way before I was born, when she was in her prime, Madonna was huge - she was the Superstar of her generation.   

She was very much an outcast, always being under scrutiny for being a sexually transgressive female artist. But she was and is also a great supporter of the LGBT community and she had her own way of doing it: the more homophobic the society around her became, the more involved she was in being a button pusher who shoved things in people’s faces. 

She is a legend to me. To understand why Madonna is a gay icon, we have to go back to 1983. It was the year she rose as a star and the beginning of a decade that would soon change the lives of many in the LGBT community.

1) Teacher & friends. ( influence from gay people ) 

Born in the Midwest, Madonna Louise Ciccone did not have much great exposure to art until she met ballet teacher Christopher Flynn, a gay man, at the age of 16. He took Madonna to her first gay club, where she said after struggling with not fitting in anywhere finally had a place that felt like home. When she was 19, Christopher prompted her to go to New York and pursue her dreams of becoming a professional dancer. He was her earliest influencer and one of the greatest figures in her life. 

She was very vocal about her early exposure to gay culture and how gay people have influenced her in positive ways. She gave lots of credits to the gay people who have shaped her decisions, her work and life. Madonna had been vocal about the role of gay men in her life since the day she debuted. 

2) HIV AIDS activism

It was during the years 1986-1990 when Madonna reached stardom that she witnessed her teacher Christopher and many of her best friends die of AIDS. One of those friends was Martin Burgoyne, Madonna’s roommate when she first moved to New York, who saw her through many traumatic events of her life, including her rape at 19 years old. This tragic point in Madonna’s life turned her into the most influential pop star of her time to devote her life and career to gay  and AIDS activism.

The money from many of her concerts was donated to the American Foundation for AIDS research ( amfAR ) to find a cure to the disease. Her fans would receive pamphlets attached to an album or handed to them in person in concerts that educated them about AIDS and how to have safer sex.

(AIDS pamphlet attached to Madonna’s 1989 album ‘Like A Prayer’- courtesy of Independent, 2018)

The pamphlet highlighted: “People with AIDS – regardless of their sexual orientation – deserve compassion and support, not violence and bigotry” and “AIDS is not a disease of homosexual men”.

In the 1980s the AIDS epidemic boomed. It affected every gay man of that generation. Gay people, who were already stigmatized by society, then faced another demon that not only demoralized but also had the power to kill. People did not want to be in the same room with people those AIDS. Gay men were faced with another stigma of being dangerous sexual predators spreading fatal diseases.

In the midst of that time. Madonna received her status as the most beloved LGBT icon. 

 3) Gay activism 

She’s always been supportive of LGBT people. During the 80s and 90s’ AIDS epidemic , she was educating people about the disease and  how to take preventive healthcare.  She was so open and accepting, she created acceptance for all of those who knew about her work . 

She also really made an effort to “normalize” gay during her time, using her popularity, musical work and performances. Making gay people, who were still very discriminated against then, feel inclusive, seen and worthy of representation. 

In the early 90s when there were little representations of gay people in popular culture, Madonna used her star power to feature us on various media: her music videos, stage performances,movies and most notoriously, in her sex book

Madonna has spoken up about gay rights and acceptance in the community internationally. In Romania, Russia where LGBT is very suppressed. She has been arrested for that. 

She has been doing advocacy for most of her career. Which is very impressive because, imagine how many decades gay people had found support from her through the years? 

continued activism: Malawaki spoke about gay marriage discrimination 

4) Madonna’s inclusion of LGBT people in the media 

Her performances:

In her live performances, she liked to show off herself dancing with hot gay men, kissing women, and very much pushing everyone’s buttons. She was also very political about it. About sexuality and freedom of expression I mean. 

Her sex book: 

A picture book about Madonna’s sexual fantasies. She adopted the persona ‘Mistress Dita’ and emulated sex with both men and women. 

Till now I haven’t seen a book by a star that pushes the boundaries of everything like Madonna’s. Madonna received lots of controversy for the book. She was called a wh**e. But for a gay person like me, the book is liberating. It celebrates sexuality and the freedom to express our sexual desires with whomever we want, regardless of sexual orientations. 

‘Truth or Dare’ film: featuring her relationship with gay dancers in her 90s’ “Blond Ambition Tour”. It displayed an extremely positive representations of gay people. The film also debuted the first gay kiss of 2 men on mainstream media. Eric Diaz said about his reaction of the kiss: “ For a queer kid like me in 1991, this was like stepping into an alternate reality where being gay was something to be celebrated, not demonized.”

Music videos: 

The music video for her song ‘Open Your Heart’ in 1986 had already featured gay women and men. In the videos of the 1990s, sexual diversity was fully 'out’. ‘Erotica’ and ‘Justify my love’, which are still banned in some countries, displayed intimacy between Madonna and women ( Madonna is straight ). You can see her making out with supermodel Naomi Campell. 

Madonna popularized Voguing: 

The queen ventured into Harlem, NY’s underground drag clubs. She met with 2 famous dancers/ club owners and asked them to teach her the Vogue - a popular dance in the Harlem’s Drag ballroom scene. 

She wrote a song with the same name: “Vogue”, that was inspired by the dance. The song and its music video are iconic. It was an awesome piece of work featuring awesome gay people. 

Her outfits were insane, I love her performance and MV for “Vogue”. You should check out “ Strike a pose” the documentary which centered her gay dancers for “Vogue”.

 Or  “Truth or Dare: In bed with Madonna” to know more about her as a an influence on gay culture, popular culture and a button pusher.  

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Lady Gaga- a gay icon for the new generation

1) gaga & drag 

When she was famous and known for her wild outfits, I was only 11 or 12. Most of the things I heard about her, either from the media or the classmates who loved to chit chat, were negative. They called her weird, they didn’t understand why she dressed the way she did, one famous article talked about a young girl who accidentally strangled herself attempting to dress like Gaga. My mom stepped in and had a talk about whom I should idolize. A lot of things about her served as a point of contention. I think that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t invest much time reading about her on the Internet and became a fan even though her music was so explosive that I could not miss it anywhere I went. 

I came to know her as a gay icon quite late. It was when I saw her appearance on RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9. I was already a fan of drag and could identify with the whole meaning behind it. So when she came in and talked about how she had been ‘doing drag’ for the longest time, a light bulb went off in my head and suddenly everything about Lady Gaga made sense. 

Drag is a form of empowerment. It’s an expression of who you want to be in the world and how you wish the world to see you. Drag is not restricted only to drag queens. I think everybody is doing some sort of drag everyday. From the clothes people wear to school to the way they talk to others, it’s all to portray a certain image, it’s all a drag. Therefore, after I understood that Lady Gaga’s outfits were her ‘drag’, I came to understand her much more as a person. Gaga confessed that drag has been her escape from herself when she doesn’t want to be herself and drag brings her joy when she felt “completely out of place” in highschool.The drag outfits she wore in Music Videos and in real life are so creative and crazy and gorgeous.

“Drag has for me been an opportunity to leave myself when I didn’t want to be me and felt so completely out of place when I was in high school. Drag has just been part of my life for the longest time”. She told the queens of RPDR.

Lady Gaga was sexually assaulted at 19 and has suffered from PTSD and depression ever since. Doing drag and putting on whatever persona she wants to is a way for her to be in control when people want her to be something different from herself.

Drag has made the gay men community adored Lady Gaga, who gave them inspiration to be bold with their own self-expression. But her work doesn’t only cater to gay men, it spreads all the way to the end of the rainbow. Lady Gaga‘s celebration of individuality and sexual fluidity is scattered in her musical work.

2) Her good work for the LGBT youth / community

The campaigns that she did to help LGBT youth in the US ( example: New York city ).

She’s very supportive of gay people: ( 1 example: the way she mentored drag queens in RPDR ).

The good work she did for the LGBT community and how kind she treated her young gay fans. Obviously this is only one example of the many charitable work that Lady Gaga has done. She is a very kind person. This is her visiting a homeless center for LGBT youth  in Harlem, New York and giving them clothes, gifts and a guided meditation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tOOXeT7hZQ

She gave credits to the many gay people whom she got the chance to work and befriended with, whom inspired and influenced her in positive ways.

3) Impact on gay people, youth

A member of the youth center told her:

“When family was (..)  pushing me away because I am gay. All I had is you and Born This Way album on repeat.”

I could feel the impact she made on the LGBT community when drag queen Eureka said: “I can tell you I have been the closest to death and you’ve pulled me out of it. You don’t even realize what you do for people and how much you’ve inspired people like me and all of us. I just want to tell you you’re so amazing. I never thought in the world I’d ever meet you .You allow us to be who we are as an artist, thank you.”

4) Songs, a celebration of sexuality, individuality

She adopted a male persona ( a very rugged and attractive one ) in her music video ‘You and I’ and performed live as a drag king at the MTV music awards. To be honest, she looked like a hot butch lesbian to me. If this isn’t gay I don’t know what is.

Her song “Born this way” celebrates the life and being of all individual regardless of race and sexuality : “gay, straight, bi, transgendered life”.  Her song ‘Born This Way’ was called the new gay anthem by Elton John:

No matter gay, straight, or bi

Lesbian, transgendered life

I’m on the right track baby

I was born to survive

Lady Gaga admitted she was a bisexual 10 years ago when she released the song Poker Face. 

Can't read my

Can't read my

No he can't read my poker face

(She's got me like nobody)

This part of the lyrics described the ‘oh snap’ moment when she found herself fantasizing about a woman while in bed with a man. The realization led to a ‘poker face’ and a really good song.

5) La personal opinion of Lady gaga

I understand why young LGBT people like myself cling to Lady Gaga for hope. Her personas are weird and different. She calls herself ‘Mother Monster’ and her fans ‘Little Monsters’. She can be so gaga that people don’t take her seriously but what she is is a loving person. She knows how to sympathize with people who have pain because she herself went through pain.

I think Lady Gaga is extremely relatable to gay people especially young gay people, because we know what it’s like to suffer from some kind of trauma and feel so different from the rest of the world at times being gay.

6) La personal struggles 

Growing up is hard but I think growing up as a gay person is even harder.

If I had had role models like Lady Gaga in my life maybe I would have been more accepting towards my difference. 

When I first discovered my sexuality, I was on a rage and was so full of resentment towards myself. I couldn’t accept that I had sexual feelings for people of my own gender because I grew up reading from my mom’s Women magazines that being gay was a shameful thing and no parents wanted a gay kid. It was such an isolating time that I started to cut myself to feel pain.

When I entered high school I was completely lost. I didn’t know who I was or what I was. The worst of all was I didn’t have an ounce of acceptance for myself and there was no guidance around at the time.

Lady Gaga is a voice for young people who feel different and cannot fit in. She gives power for people who think they are weird and different to soar above all the sterotypes society give them and to go fully gaga.

Gaga, definition by Merriam Webster:

1. crazy, foolish.

2. marked by wild enthusiasm.

Lady, definition by one lesbian:

1. a woman whom you should treat with respect.

2. a lovely person who has your heart.

Lady Gaga surely has lived up to her name to me.