gayoticgoddex

[gayoticgoddex]

It’s weird how as children were afraid of the dark but not of the old man who breaks into our house and eats our food or the tiny monster that takes our bones or that giant bunny that for some reason lays eggs.

[gayoticgoddex]

[gayoticgoddex]

Reblog if I can go on your page and write stupid things in your ask box whenever I'd like to.

[gayoticgoddex]

Research the mistakes of infamous criminals. Find out where they went wrong and how they got caught. Oh and also biology helps because there are some easy-peasy natural looking methods. Hope this helps! We should start a.... writers club ^^

Ok my last post was too wholesome so here are some cool murder tips- for, you know, writing.

Knifes and guns are, first of all, boring and basic, and secondly very easy to identify. A wooden baseball bat, however- blunt force trauma to the head, make it look like they fell, Bob’s your uncle (well- not anymore.) And for cleanup? Burn the bat. It’s w o o d.

The typical adult has 3.5-5.0 mmol/L (millimoles per liter) Potassium in their body. 5.5 is considered unhealthy- and it’s considered a medical emergency if it reaches 6.5. (Keep in mind, this isn’t potassium in a banana). If you use the above method and want to make it look as though they fell and hit their head from a heart attack, you simply need to inject a maximum of 3 mmol/L of Potassium in the farthest-back part under the tongue.

Don’t use leather gloves- use hospital gloves. Chances are that seeing remnants of their own rubber gloves when they analyze the body won’t raise any red flags.

If you move, don’t immediately start murdering again. Then they’ll know it’s you. Leave a final body for them to find after you leave town, wait several months, and then change up your MO. It also helps to change up your appearance- Ted Bundy did this frequently so he was harder to identify.

Don’t want them to find the body in the first place? Pigs can eat everything except for the teeth, and teeth are much easier to hide than entire body. And you’ll have very happy pigs.

If you plan to drown a victim’s body (I don’t recommend), make sure you puncture any organs that contain air or liquid lighter than water.

Be a very social person. If people trust you, they probably don’t think you’re a murderer.

DoNt ReFuSe To CoOpErAtE wiTh PoLiCe. Can you think of literally anything more suspicious?

Don’t burn your fingerprints. That becomes a whole new unique identifier, and it wouldn’t take long for them to find out who in town has them.

If you want to leave notes, use a basic school pencil and sterile gloves. Mask your handwriting (bonus points if it’s super messy bc they’ll be trying to read it.) Don’t write anything actually relevant on it. Red herrings all the way. Oh, and don’t pull a JonBennet Ramsey kill. First of all, don’t kill children. They’re your future army. Second, write the note at home so you’re not sticking around the scene for too long. The less time you spend there, the less likely you are to spread DNA.

Don’t store anything related to the crime in easy places, obviously. If you have those push-up panels in your basement? Hide them in the ceiling. Rafters in your attic? Stuff them into the insulation.

After they’re safely stored, have a sleepover or a dinner party. Having Atleast a partial alibi is better than nothing.

Best getaway vehicle? A bike. Seriously. No license plate, very easy to change the color, much easier to hide than a car, AND you can ride it through lawns/woods. Police cars can’t.

Colored contacts, makeup? Much better than a ski mask. People can usually remember the eyes of a criminal they saw more than anything. To add extra layers to this, have a semi-noticeable abnormality. A little twitch in the corner of your mouth. A strange way to pronounce certain letters. A minor limp. Just don’t go all Ted Bundy and have an entire collection of casts- plus, Teddy’s not a very good role model.

Act scared, obviously. The normal reaction to ‘there’s a serial killer in this town’ isn’t ‘oh gosh darn not again Gerald.’ It’s hyperventilating because you might not be safe in your own home.

Go forth, be gay, write crime.

[gayoticgoddex]

Methods of Death and How They Feel

Drowning: When a victim submerges, they hold their breath for as long as possible, typically 30 to 90 seconds. After that, they inhale some water, splutter, cough and inhale more. Survivors have said there is a feeling of tearing and a burning sensation in the chest as water enters the airway. Then that moves into a feeling of calmness and tranquility. The calmness represents the beginnings of the loss of consciousness from oxygen deprivation, which eventually results in the heart stopping and brain death.

Heart Attack: The most common symptom is chest pain: a tightness, pressure, or squeezing often described as an “elephant on the chest”, which may stay steady or come and go. This is caused by the heart muscle struggling and dying from oxygen deprivation. Pain can radiate to the jaw, throat, back, belly and arms. Other signs and symptoms include shortness of breath, nausea and cold sweats. Women and men have different heart attack symptoms, so be sure to look into those differences.

Bleeding to Death:  Anyone losing 1.5 liters – either through an external wound or internal bleeding – feel weak, tired, thirsty, nauseous, anxious, and would be breathing quickly. By 2 liters, people experience dizziness, confusion, rapid heartbeat, coldness, and then eventual unconsciousness.

Fire: Burns inflict immediate and intense pain through stimulation of the pain nerves in the skin. Burns also trigger a rapid inflammatory response, which boosts sensitivity to pain in the injured tissues and surrounding areas. As burn intensities progress, some feeling is lost but not much. 3rd degree burns don’t hurt as much as 2nd degree burns because 3rd degree burns kill the nerves and pain receptors while 2nd degree burns do not.

Decapitation: Very quick. Consciousness is said to continue for a few seconds after decapitation. It’s thought to be painless, but the separation of the spinal cord and brain may cause severe pain.

Electrocution: Higher currents can cause near immediate unconsciousness. The electric chair, for example, was designed to produce instant loss of consciousness and painless death, but it is debatable. It has been proposed that prisoners could instead be dying from heating of the brain or perhaps from suffocation due to paralysis of the breathing muscles instead of the electrocution itself because the walls of the skull are a thick and powerful insulator. 

Falling: Another instantaneous death, depending on the height. Survivors of great falls often report the sensation of time slowing down. The natural reaction is to struggle to maintain a feet-first landing, resulting in fractures to the leg bones, lower spinal column, and pelvis. The impact traveling up through the body can also burst the aorta and heart chambers. From lower heights, damage to the internal organs and brain can often cause death.

Hanging: If the neck is broken, death by hanging can be instantaneous because the force of the rope vs. the weight of the body will sever the brain stem. However, if the rope is incorrectly placed, the brain stem will not be severed and the rope will put pressure on the windpipe/arteries to the brain. This can cause unconsciousness in about 10 seconds, but it can take longer depending on how the rope is placed. Witnesses of public hangings often reported victims “dancing” in pain at the end of the rope, struggling violently as they asphyxiated.

Lethal injection: First comes the anesthetic called thiopental to drive away any feelings of pain, followed by a paralytic agent called pancuronium to stop breathing. Finally potassium chloride is injected, which stops the heart almost instantly. Eyewitnesses have reported inmates convulsing, heaving and attempting to sit up during the procedure, suggesting it’s not always completely effective or instantaneous.

Vacuum (Such as Outer Space): When the external air pressure suddenly drops, the air in the lungs expands, tearing the fragile gas exchange tissues. This is especially damaging if the victim neglects to exhale prior to decompression or tries to hold their breath. Oxygen begins to escape from the blood and lungs. Human survivors from NASA often report an initial pain, like being hit in the chest, and may remember feeling air escape from their lungs and the inability to inhale. Time to the loss of consciousness is generally less than 15 seconds.

[gayoticgoddex]

Ok my last post was too wholesome so here are some cool murder tips- for, you know, writing.

Knifes and guns are, first of all, boring and basic, and secondly very easy to identify. A wooden baseball bat, however- blunt force trauma to the head, make it look like they fell, Bob’s your uncle (well- not anymore.) And for cleanup? Burn the bat. It’s w o o d.

The typical adult has 3.5-5.0 mmol/L (millimoles per liter) Potassium in their body. 5.5 is considered unhealthy- and it’s considered a medical emergency if it reaches 6.5. (Keep in mind, this isn’t potassium in a banana). If you use the above method and want to make it look as though they fell and hit their head from a heart attack, you simply need to inject a maximum of 3 mmol/L of Potassium in the farthest-back part under the tongue.

Don’t use leather gloves- use hospital gloves. Chances are that seeing remnants of their own rubber gloves when they analyze the body won’t raise any red flags.

If you move, don’t immediately start murdering again. Then they’ll know it’s you. Leave a final body for them to find after you leave town, wait several months, and then change up your MO. It also helps to change up your appearance- Ted Bundy did this frequently so he was harder to identify.

Don’t want them to find the body in the first place? Pigs can eat everything except for the teeth, and teeth are much easier to hide than entire body. And you’ll have very happy pigs.

If you plan to drown a victim’s body (I don’t recommend), make sure you puncture any organs that contain air or liquid lighter than water.

Be a very social person. If people trust you, they probably don’t think you’re a murderer.

DoNt ReFuSe To CoOpErAtE wiTh PoLiCe. Can you think of literally anything more suspicious?

Don’t burn your fingerprints. That becomes a whole new unique identifier, and it wouldn’t take long for them to find out who in town has them.

If you want to leave notes, use a basic school pencil and sterile gloves. Mask your handwriting (bonus points if it’s super messy bc they’ll be trying to read it.) Don’t write anything actually relevant on it. Red herrings all the way. Oh, and don’t pull a JonBennet Ramsey kill. First of all, don’t kill children. They’re your future army. Second, write the note at home so you’re not sticking around the scene for too long. The less time you spend there, the less likely you are to spread DNA.

Don’t store anything related to the crime in easy places, obviously. If you have those push-up panels in your basement? Hide them in the ceiling. Rafters in your attic? Stuff them into the insulation.

After they’re safely stored, have a sleepover or a dinner party. Having Atleast a partial alibi is better than nothing.

Best getaway vehicle? A bike. Seriously. No license plate, very easy to change the color, much easier to hide than a car, AND you can ride it through lawns/woods. Police cars can’t.

Colored contacts, makeup? Much better than a ski mask. People can usually remember the eyes of a criminal they saw more than anything. To add extra layers to this, have a semi-noticeable abnormality. A little twitch in the corner of your mouth. A strange way to pronounce certain letters. A minor limp. Just don’t go all Ted Bundy and have an entire collection of casts- plus, Teddy’s not a very good role model.

Act scared, obviously. The normal reaction to ‘there’s a serial killer in this town’ isn’t ‘oh gosh darn not again Gerald.’ It’s hyperventilating because you might not be safe in your own home.

Go forth, be gay, write crime.

[gayoticgoddex]

Wholesome younger sibling story time!

Sister: “C’mon lady!—.... Man!..... Men!”

Me, trying not to have a mental explosion: “P-pardon?”

“Because you’re they/them! Cmon, men!”

I’m raising this child right.

[gayoticgoddex]

Guys, I can totally pull this off. I write poetry in my spare time. I do witchcraft. I’m an internally chaotic gay with an urge to be at a Victorian era all girls boarding school.

Time to change my picture to books 📚

[gayoticgoddex]

I’m gonna break the laws. All of the laws.

Obeying traffic laws? Not me.

Keeping tags on mattresses? Heck that

Laws of Physics? You can’t tell me how to live.

I’m going to ride on top of the first red car I see (after mounting it like a noble steed) and ride it to the nearest mattress store, where I’ll gracefully jump off and float inside, right to the mattress tags.

You’ll never catch me alive, Newton!

[gayoticgoddex]

I feel mildly called out-

Who would you be in a fantasy society

im just here for a good time but i feel so attacked rn

[gayoticgoddex]

Kk, find me a circle of mushrooms in the woods by your house and let’s test fate.

So. I think I may have accidentally become friends with the fae.

And they stole my favorite rock.

To be fair tho, it was a really great rock. Golden tigers eye. Shiny as heck.

From everything I’ve learned, fae are immortal mischievous children and are attracted to those who are similar. @starlightvigil can confirm that this is a perfect description of me 😅

So anyways I’m gonna have to make so good and stuff for my drawers now so they don’t ransack my rock collection. And I’m going to have to clean a lot of pennies so they’re all shiny for them. I’m both excited and terrified but if me and the fae are just vibing rn I’m all for it.

PS: Please return my shiny rock

PPS: Also if you see any bones or plants or other rocks I’ll trade you shiny things and sweets

[gayoticgoddex]

So. I think I may have accidentally become friends with the fae.

And they stole my favorite rock.

To be fair tho, it was a really great rock. Golden tigers eye. Shiny as heck.

From everything I’ve learned, fae are immortal mischievous children and are attracted to those who are similar. @starlightvigil can confirm that this is a perfect description of me 😅

So anyways I’m gonna have to make so good and stuff for my drawers now so they don’t ransack my rock collection. And I’m going to have to clean a lot of pennies so they’re all shiny for them. I’m both excited and terrified but if me and the fae are just vibing rn I’m all for it.

PS: Please return my shiny rock

PPS: Also if you see any bones or plants or other rocks I’ll trade you shiny things and sweets

[gayoticgoddex]

My personality quiz told me that I’m either insane or I don’t exist and that reminds me of all of my answers on every math test I’ve ever taken.

[gayoticgoddex]

I feel bad for whoever has to fall in love with me. My idea of romantic poetry:

Let us meet in the astral plane, three past midnight, after our rituals have drained us of energy.

Let us commit arson and flee the scene, giggling gleefully.

Let us roam the forests with the fae, joining in on their endless dancing because we don’t want to return to society anyways.

Let us fall asleep under the starry skies, our altar full of offerings and our Imbolc celebrations complete.

Let us adopt varieties of frogs and plants and squirrels and such into our secluded cottage, the one that is rumored to house witches (because it DOES.)

Let us dress in medieval clothes, not (only) to confuse others, but because we enjoy looking like pirates/royals/peasants/bandits/bartenders/sorcerers/sword fighters.

In short, pure, blissful chaos.

Truly yours,

~Arden

This has been my TED talk on one of many reasons I’m the SINGLEST of the pringles.

[gayoticgoddex]

pomegranates arent even a fruit theyre an experience

[gayoticgoddex]

If I ever started a business, which would be a very terrible idea, I would have the bathroom signs be two entirely random objects. A piece of toast and a scarf. And then I would watch them try to figure out which one is manly.

Spoiler alert- both bathrooms are gender neutral bathrooms.

[gayoticgoddex]

It should also include the Four Gs, important events such as the time that gay penguin couple stole a lesbian penguin couple’s egg or the homosexual eaters we used on the frogs, as well as different way to reach the Four Gs and how to cure people of heteronormativity.

Hm.

So people are allowed to control my life based on religions that I don’t believe in.

Does that mean

If I invent a religion and make it immoral to be straight-

Think of the power.