gavinparished

[gavinparished]

This series is signed to my production group! But not only that, I also helped make this episode. I did the vocals and lyrics to the intro song plus a small cameo in the episode itself (even tho I was sick lol). The full song and episode drop July 31st, be there!

CAUTION FALLING EXTINGUISHERS OFFICIAL OPENING!

Shout out to Gavin parished for the opening track! Please check him out!

Idiosyncratic is a weirdcore inspired show, that also takes inspiration from ena, and the entire visual novel genre with some other game genres as well. It follows Ico and patchstride, who lives in the town called sloopland. From going to hell and fighting cults they been through it all. in this particular episode, they are to help a tree to make the rain go away. instead of sitting in a circle and singing for it to go away, they decided to fight the person in charge of the rain...or extinguishers....

[gavinparished]

IN ANOTHER LIFE - THE ALBUM

So, there's a lot to get to for this one. Why? Well, this is THE ALBUM. This is the project that I started years ago. Once I scrapped the project that eventually became part of Distorted Memories, this is what I made to replace it. So, why did it take so long? A few factors, here's the full story.

It starts with Long Nights (as always), almost all of that album (practically everything besides the intro and outro) was meant for this record initially. I decided to just drop a mixtape with hadrrien as a lil comeback considering how dated Cover Blown, Valentine's Day and Wasted Time felt. Then I wanted to make it a tribute to Underground Rapture which didn't work, blah blah blah check the Long Nights posts for more info on that. So, the 3 tracks that were removed from here serve as the main body of Long Nights, Cover Blown was originally the intro. It was then a new track I was working on with Japheth Hannon was added, that eventually got scrapped. Check out Long Nights here, since literally almost all of it was originally on this album:

Obviously, since Long Nights had hands in this record, Even Summer Ends also was originally part of this. Highkey, She Like and New JT were considered for this record too but once I wanted to make that tape I took all the hadrrien trap/lofi style stuff and threw it on there, leaving In Another Life with only One Call Away and Love Signs. The rest of the tracks, besides the outro which was a brand new beat, were considered for Long Nights too but didn't make the cut cause of the UR songs not working out. Down below you can check out Even Summe Ends, since half of that album also came from Long Nights and In Another Life:

Now let's get to the album itself, I'm gonna start with the singles. The oldest single here is Shawty, a song that was ALWAYS a part of this record. It has my lofi, boombap inspired feel and is lovey in a weird way. The record practically was birthed from this song.

Next is Cloud 7. This song started my musical relationship with Sara Dionys, who appears 2 more times on the album. Simply put we were close friends. We both lived in Austria and became friends online. Eventually she told me about her dream of being a singing actress in LA so I encouraged her to work on music with me. This was the first song we ended up making. She found the instrumental, sang the hook on BandLab then I did my verse and backing vocals and we called it a day. I gave it a rough mix originally until I hit up SMEB for a new mix. I hit him up because originally I wanted him to mix the whole album but due to my circumstances the past few months that became impossible. So he ended up doing this track in addition to Let Go, more on that later.

Next is Hopping Into Hyperspace. This track seems to be the favorite off the record and I see why. It was the first song of this sound I produced and it worked out really well. I remember I just heard Kid Lords and Tb Payback on TikTok so I sent it her way and they all hopped on and sent it back after posting a snippet on Instagram that I reposted on TikTok. They did the mix and everything. Not much to talk about besides this being my first track to hit the big 1k on Spotify! Can't thank them enough for that honestly.

So now that we're here we skip over WTF LMAO CYPHER (which in itself was a failed rollout because people didn't wanna use the other GB beats lol), Long Nights and House Of Balloons. So we arrive at Let Go.

Let Go is my only track with so many versions (so far). It's first form was Love V1, honestly one of my favorite instrumentals I've done. V2 was Love Interlude, I took the synths and made something completely new. Then this was the final version. I sent the synths and drums to ARTIMANE which he perfected. SMEB in his mix then added all the atmosphere and static lofi vfx plus all the DJ-esc cuts. He also did the vocal mix here which is why it's so unique. Sara originally didn't really want to sing on this track but I convinced her to which made this also become a fan favorite from the record so far. This one is a Gp classic.

Next up! A little note! New Me and Little Alchemy were both considered for In Another Life originally. New Me was quickly moved to be with the rest of the typhon instrumentals besides Rehab Interlude, more on that later, and Little Alchemy was moved there because it fit the vibe of that album more. It worked as a perfect bridge between What Am I To You and New Me. Check out Little Alchemy and New Me below though! Little Alchemy is one of my best tracks.

Now we skip over Even Summer Ends right to Love As Two. This track has been in the vault for a long time. I just didn't end up recording it, then I did and SMEB took a long time to get to it. But it finally happened and we decided to drop it for the fall cause it fit the vibe. I was thinking of dropping it for the summer but decided not to after locking in on doing Even Summer Ends. This song was on SMEB's original beat tape. I think it might be his first solo track I heard honestly. I just hit him up about using it. He was down so I did and this track happened. Love this one, very catchy plus his production is just so unique. AreWhy also did the cover art. I hit him up at the time because he was just starting to do covers and I gotta say he made a BANGER.

Now we get to the final track, One Call Away. This track is important to what the album became in it's final days. I wrote this song for my current, hopefully last too, partner Sarah. We were close close for a few weeks before we got together on February 2nd. We had been friends for a few months and as we warmed up to each other, the circumstances finally were right and we decided to go out. I remember her awkwardly sitting with me at my place only for the first time, on my bed just like "sooo... what are we?" and from there we decided to be a couple. She had to go home the next day, so I took her to the bus, gave her our first kiss then went home and wrote this song immediately. The cover is also special, it's a physical collage I made her for our one year anniversary of all the pictures we had together at the time. It made us realize we didn't have many pictures together lmao. It's actually shaped like a heart but you can't see that since it's zoomed in on here. The song released on our anniversary and was intentionally the last single on the record.

Now we skip over parished404 but I want to quickly mention that it did indeed also have parts that were connected to In Another Life. Flashbacks (which missed out on an Overpade verse cause I was broke lol) and Heart Drive (which I'm mad Zain wouldn't let me keep his verse on) were considered for this album when I wasn't sure if I wanted to do a full project or just an EP with wizard. We decided on just doing the full volume 1 project so I moved them to that, to give the audience a taste of what was to come. You can stream those tracks here!

So, now we're finally here, at the album, or so you thought. First, I'm gonna talk about the beat tape that dropped a day before the album itself. I decided to do this so people have the instrumentals now. I want to do a beat tape in the future, with shortened versions of all the instrumentals, but for now I wanted people to have them, so this projects features the 7 instrumentals I produced from the album. Wonderful and Love Letters are brand new (besides snippets) but the rest of the tape's beats were either posted on my YT as type beats a few years ago or included with the single they dropped with. For any artists reading through this, if you see beats you like hit me up! I love to let people work on stuff or even myself put a new spin on it along side them. You can listen to the beats here:

So, now we're finally at the album itself.

The day of release isn't special, was just a fitting Saturday. First I want to thank Zain for engineering all the stuff that wasn't done already. He has really be trying to branch out more with my stuff since parished404 so this was a cool way to grow together. I also want to thank SMEB for his fantastic mixes, plus all the featured artists who worked on their own vocals. Everybody here was a big help in creating the vibe for this record.

Next up I want to thank Photosbysavg. I approached her years ago to buy the front cover and she was very understanding and patient with me in the creation of the back cover. She even made a last second addition to the art like a week before release, after submission. She's a fantastic artist who deserves so much praise.

Now, let's start this with track one. The Prelude is all me vocally. I wanted this to feel like a prelude because at first I wasn't sure if this would be on the album or not, but in reality after Cover Blown was moved this really fit perfectly. This song was sent to me way back before it was released as an instrumental by Lil Terrestrial, but he was cool with me using it still. This song is basically foreshadowing the end of the album in a way, telling us how we have to be apart even though after this we fall in love, a prelude of what's to come. You can listen to the Lil T track alone with the link below:

Next up is Wonderful. Back when I posted Hyperspace for the first time I produced a few more tracks with that feeling, Wonderful being the last of that group. The next one is yet to come. I always wanted SODI on this. Way back then I talked to SEVEN! about being on here too, they agreed but got their head stuck up their own ass and eventually it didn't work out. After waiting literal years for SODI he turned in both That Power and Wonderful within weeks of each other, so I cooked up my vocals, went through at least like 10 versions of the mix with Zain, and eventually we called it a day. I posted this as a snippet on TikTok way back, tagging SODI to harass him to get it going. Check the snippet out here!

Soul Tie is one of the beats I made back in 2021, when I decided I'd drop out of the school I was in. I made a bunch of beats and songs within a few months and was posting monthly, this was right around the start of that. I've kept this cause this is one of my fav beats I've made. I sent it to a few people, Brocko got it before Jamal but me and Brocko never really could arrange anything. Idk if he just didn't fw what I was sending or what, but there's no harsh feelings obviously cause some of the time I was just too broke to buy a feature too. But I decided to get JamalThaDon on here because of his recent run of singles. He's a great lyricist and really this was perfect for him, you can hear it in his performance. This was the last snippet I posted of the album right before it dropped, did it to show people I mean business.

Jumping past 2 of the singles brings us to Mind Games. This song has probably been in the vault the longest. Me and Karma were cooking stuff up in 2020-21, this song was one of the only ones we made together that we actually finished. It was always planned to be on here. He sent through 3 beat peaks, around 80 to 100 beats total, and this was one of the first that really resonated with me so he cooked up a hook and his verse then sent it my way. I messed with the formatting a little and we got this final track! I love this song, even now, around a month after the album dropped, it's one of my most underrated songs. His unique sound is just so smooth, I love it so much. I wish he was active still so people could appreciate him and see that. But this track also works as a snippet of what's to come. My next project is an album entirely produced by Karma. I took the very best songs from those packs he sent me and am currently writing an album to them. It will be a special one and will show people how good his production really is, plus how good my new creative designer Erna with Parished Productions is. But all that is to talk about another day, check out this TikTok I uploaded which is the snippet he originally sent me before I hopped on the track:

Skipping over yet another single brings us to Rehab Interlude. I mentioned earlier that this is the only typhon song that made this album instead of DIstorted Memories. Why? Because this song was also always intended for this album. It's one of my most personal songs and I love it.

Soul Tie, Cloud 7, Love As Two, Mind Gams, Rehab Interlude, Love Signs, Shawty and Stressed Out were the only tracks ALWAYS meant for In Another Life. The rest were either not a part of the original tracklist, came in after a few years of process or were always 50/50 on if I wanted them on the final or not for whatever reasons.

Originally I wanted to release a song with SEVEN! that would've been between Rehab Interlude and Love Signs but it didn't work out. I paid SEVEN! to make a song with me some time last year, but they never got back to me. Eventually we started talking about how they want to sell songs from now on mostly because of their tweets so I used that money to buy a demo. It was a beat they produced and a hook they recorded. I took this, remoddled it a bit and recorded my own verse. AreWhy did a cover for this one too. I even sent it to some friends before I submitted it who loved it. So what happened? The Art Is War, their collective with King Havana, profile replied that this wasn't greenlit despite SEVEN! saying go for it more or less. So then it became almost HALF A YEAR of me DMing them about what to do because they told me they wanted to redo the song. Eventually I just basically told them go fuck yourself give me my money back and they did and that was over with. I often think about leaking the track because it's a good song, they obviously just did this because they don't like me which is fine. Just be real about it and don't work with me from the start then though. Just wanted to put this here again though to say that they pissed me off and to not trust them. SEVEN! and King Havana will pay for this!

Love Signs was always meant for this album too, Love Signs being here made it easier to include One Call Away in the final version. It feels like a fitting bridge between Rehab Interlude and One Call Away. I love this song's simple feeling. I was debating giving it more an indie feel with the mix but decided to keep it simple, keep that amateur feel.

Skipping over the masterpiece Shawty right to Stressed Out brings us to another one of my early 2020s beats on YouTube. This one also has a long story. Back when Handsome Pryce first popped up on my radar after I Found Light dropped I hit them up about working together. They originally dropped a verse on here. I wanted to keep it cause it is a solid verse and really it does fit the vibe of what I ended up rerecording recently but they didn't want to include it cause it wasn't how they feel now creatively. Of course I respected the wish, considering the verse was years old, and removed it. We even talked about it being just us, the song starting off with old Pryce and ending with new Pryce, but they decided it'd be better not to force that atm. Sara recorded her vocals a while back as well, but I never confirmed I'd use them because of the stuff with Pryce, I kept them on with her blessing after rerecording all my vocals. It's her favorite performance of her's on the album.

Love Letters was the last track added to the album. I myself couldn't really find a good start on here so I sent it out a few times. Second to last to get it was mokio but he didn't feel inspired enough. Before that it was in a beat pack I sent to d4vd after they actually replied to my tweet about them using my instrumentals, but obviously since it's here without him that didn't happen. And before that I posted it on TikTok, trying to get it on Young Wabo's radar while he was finishing Suburbia II, but as he often tends to do he didn't even acknowledge it after 100% seeing it. I'm not really mad, a little disappointed cause a "not interested" also isn't that big a deal, but not mad. Eventually I met YxxngJayFaded in a Discord server for making music. That's a whole new can of worms I won't open today but we made a song together which lead to me posting that instrumental and him hopping on it pretty much right after I posted it. I placed his hook down 3 times, did my own take and added mv verses between and we called it a day. You can tell this was a last minute addition by looking at the back cover, you can tell it was added quickly after the fact but it's fine, adds character to the cover. Shoutout Jay for making this happen so quick. He mostly drops on SoundCloud so I'll link him here, you'll likely end up hearing more from us soon:

This time we're not skipping over Hopping Into Hyperspace, cause I want to add that this track was never confirmed for the album. When it was in stage 1, all instrumentals, it was. Originally I wanted just Tb Payback on here but the whole posse, almost, hopped on and I didn't want to really add any vocals onto their finished product in case I ruined the vibe. So I decided to keep it on anyway. It doesn't fit the vibe lyrically but sonically it's perfect here of course.

Second to last we have the title track. This song is produced by ZTG. I ADORE ZTG! His style is such a strange mix of that static, alternative hiphop sound but also pop singing and formatting. It's really genius. I love his sound, he's one of my favorite artists in the scene. If he liked me more we'd have more songs together lol. That aside, he posted that he was selling this so I bought it. I decided not to go too crazy writing just to try and build some atmosphere here. I sent him a demo with my raw vocals and he gave back a version of the song where he's at the very end. I gave Zain full control of the mix which brought us to the final product. I was surprised with how he ordered everything, pleasantly surpirsed. It was perfect! I wish ZTG did more but I can't blame him since he did that for free. We'll hopefully have more to offer in the future too. I love this track. It has all the individual sounds that build this album which is why I made it the title track.

The album ends on the second KarmaTheGXD produced track, End Of The Road. I wanted to get him to help me make this song but he's disappeared really so I just did it myself with Zain and it worked out great. A perfect end honestly, as soon as I hear this song I knew it'd be a perfect intro. I just wasn't sure for what but it ended up fitting in just right here. It was originally gonna come in after Stressed Out or Hopping Into Hyperspace but the other 2 songs in this section got added around the end of the creation of the record so it just fit even better at the end after that.

And that's it! The history of my first proper album! I'm really glad to have this out, it feels like the world was lifted off my shoulders. This record means a lot to me and I'm happy I have a partner I can dedicated it to. Maybe the story isn't perfect for that but hey, who says we have to break up? Not me, that's for sure. I want to end this by thanking everybody who worked on and inspired this album, it made me a new artist which will become clear soon.

Most importantly I want to thank you for reading and hopefully listening! This was just a first draft that I decided to post cause why not? I didn't want to think too much about it, so here it is! Maybe one day I'll talk about it even more in an interview or something, who knows? But for now, thank you for your attention, give the album a spin if you haven't! It's my best yet and there's even more to come:

[gavinparished]

parished404! Finally, we get to my best album yet. This record is special to me because it was honestly the one I was most on the fence about but it worked out amazingly. I've been talking to wizard404 about doing this album for years, but Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA teaming up for Scaring The Hoes is really what made me go for it. I just adore wizard's production and was in all the way once he told me I could go for it.

My process in picking out beats was simple. I listened to wizard's entire catalog a few times front to back and just made a big playlist of my favorite stuff. Once I had a big list I listened to that front to back and just kept the stuff I felt like I needed to rap on. Eventually, that became the 14 tracks on the album.

So, how'd the creation go? Well first I'll mention the only song that actually dropped before the album dropped, Changing Seasons. I didn't want to drop any singles before the album dropped. I wanted to surprise drop this honestly. My first plan was to just drop the tracklist and cover a day before I dropped but an annoying thing got in the way so I dropped Changing Seasons. In December 2024 I announced a song called Panned Out that featured SEVEN!. It had to be cancelled, but why? Well because the Art Is War crew are stuck up douches of course! I've already had past beef with them, so really it's not surprising. However I paid SEVEN! $50 a few months prior to work on something, when they stopped getting back to me they eventually sent a pack of songs they were selling and I said screw it and asked for Panned Out, which was in the folder with an instrumental and lyrics by them. They said I can now do whatever I want with it, so I did. I wrote a long verse, had the song repeat their chorus at the end, paid to get a cover made and sent it to streaming after getting the go ahead. However, once I announced the song in December, the Art Is War account messaged me, saying this wasn't cleared. So I talked to SEVEN! again after our agreement and they said that they'd rather reproduce the song and do new vocals. So I said that's fine by me, even better for me really considering I'd hopefully end up getting something better. So I waited and waited months, always typing questions about the song just to get ghosted. After almost half a year I was fed up and just said go fuck yourself to them basically and got my money back. Note to self, and for all of you. Do not work with Art Is War or SEVEN! like that, they're all stuck up underground rappers who already think they went Hollywood. It's tragic.

But alas, Changing Seasons was the song I picked to replace Panned Out for my December release. People liked it and since it's dropped it's gotten almost a thousand streams. If I had to pick one song for the album to represent it as a whole it'd be in my final picks for sure. Originally I wanted to get Brocko on this track but things ended up not working out. The biggest thing was during our talks about it he blew up way bigger than me and boosted his price up too high for me to afford, but that's show biz baby.

But now it's time for the rest of the tracklist. Honestly, I regret not attaching the images for at least my last 3 projects. I forgot to while I was typing up my posts really. But not this time! Both covers are done by mirswonderfulworld who you can also find here on Tumblr!

I'll go from top to bottom with the tracklist, talking about the tracks and anything interesting about them. Starting with the intro, Dead Man Walking. This song was always titled that for me, the name came to me while organizing the tracklist and it just fit so perfectly. I did my best to write around that name and this song has some of my favorite publicated verses yet. I love it. This song was also shortened from it's original beat to have a more abrupt ending. It was always the intro for my album once I scrapped another track, I mean, listen to that opening, how couldn't it be the intro?

Second on our list is Chaotic Freestyle. This beat specifically is what made me want to do this album. coverartssuck/artxuck did some snogs with wizard way back in the day, one of them called Chaos and being on this instrumental. I originally really wanted to have his song on here and then I'd continue on from what he already started, but he said all that stuff is in the past for him. Fair enough but honestly unfortunate. If it wasn't for him introducing me to wizard through the songs he dropped way back in the day, I wouldn't have made this album. I came back to him a few times with a few of these beats but he just wasn't feeling it anymore. I'd link the song if I could but it seems to be lost to time. Now, onto my song. If you ever heard the original you'd 100% be able to hear that I based my verse off his, I had to for it to feel right. It wasn't one to one and some stuff is missing of course, with small changes in the flow but his blueprint was my plan to attack this beat. Next is Alma 16, I knew I wanted him on here so I asked him first. His voice is just perfect for this raw, harsh production which is why I asked him back for another track on the album too. But he was my go to and he delievered as always. Alma 16 has my respect more than most rappers I've had the pleasure to work with. With the biggest contribution yet, we have Damon Deion. It's hard to tell when an artist with almost no music out will deliver or not, but after hearing what he did on Back Home I knew I could count on Damon. I sent this to him and he took a while to get back to me but it was worth it. I wanted a lot of his section to be empty originally but he went above and beyond to really make the track his. I'll always vouch for him, his talent is limitless. For the final feature I was torn on who to ask. I had already done Overtime by now so Departure was my first ask, but after an Instagram post asking people who wanted to work an old friend of mine replied and I sent it his way. mokey is a cool guy, we've tried working together multiple times in the past but it just hasn't worked out. He gave me a beat I didn't end up releasing, same thing happend with a feature I sent his way. But now we finally got something done. I like what he did and despite the lofi grit from his, at the time, bad microphone, it fits the section he hopped on so I don't mind it too much. I'm proud of what all 4 of us accomplished on this fantastic beat.

Overtime might be my favorite track on the album. A lot of this album was sent out first which is what happened here. I sent this to Departure, no vocals of mine, and he just returned this fantastic verse. I loved it as soon as I heard it. I wrote my short "hook" after I got back what he sent. While I was doing that I had the idea for it to be a hook so I wrote it in a way that it'd fit right before him too which is why I play for a short second. It felt right considering how instantly in your face this song specifically is. Then I ended the track, just writing what I felt. This one is amazing. This run of three tracks are why I wanted to do the album in the first place and I'm beyond happy that me and Departure could do this song so much justice.

Minecraft Diamonds is next and this one I just had fun with honestly. I decided to stay up with the speed here after hearing noPhiltr's PUSSY PULSE on this instrumental during my research phase. I wanted him to be on the album originally, I sent Freestyle 14 his way but he wasn't able to get back to me. This song though was all just for fun. I let the hook play a few times to really get people in, keep their attention. Like I said in the song, it's just nerd raps. I had a lot of fun here.

That Power was another song I sent to the feature artist first. I sent this to SODI and he did the opening. He did an amazing job. SODI is another artist that people don't realize really have a lot of talent because he just doesn't have a catalog. It's unfortunate but working with him has been a blessing and I'm happy he's on here and on the upcoming In Another Life too. I went off the end of his verse to do that little bridge bit after my few lines before I just finished the song off with a verse. Nothing too crazy going on here.

We already talked about Changing Seasons but I'll use this quick bit to say it's one of my favorite songs I've written. I LOVE the writing on it and really it's the most "me" of almost any of my songs. Please don't skip this one.

Now it's time to talk about Flashbacks. If you've heard it, you may wonder why the first verse and second sound so different on the mixing front, well that's because I wasn't going to do verse 2 originally. I'm happy I did because it's a solid verse but originally this track sat around for months with that slot empty because I wanted to send it to Overpade. That was part of my pitch to wizard actually, but then Pade posted their rates and I just didn't have the funds for that at the time. So I finished the track off and called it a day. Who knows, maybe one day we'll get an Overpade remix.

Despite Heart Drive already being a wizard track with vocals I just had to take it for the album, I LOVE this song. Plus there's the big section I filled out. I did my best to write my verse accordingly, keeping the theme of the track within my lines too and I feel I did good with that. Sadly, Zain Soliman, my engineer, also did a verse. This is a bit of a leak honestly, I don't know if he wants this out. He extended the track and added vocals but this was one of the first songs we finished so over time he said he didn't like it anymore and wanted it cut. It's tragic cause I really liked his verse but I respected his wishes. Maybe one day he'll change his mind and we'll get a remix. Who knows?

I always knew I wanted LeeV on this track. I sent it his way for a hook before I did anything to it, so he gave that to me and it was amazing, I love what he did here. From just his vocal style to how he formatted the hook throughout the track, I love it all. So I just ranted between his vocals, felt fitting. This is a fan favorite and it's easy to see why. This is another one of wizard's instrumentals that I just knew, album or not, I'd have to make a song with.

Gotta Rant was added for that exact reason. I needed a weird instrumental I could just rant on, so I found this and did. It wasn't in my final draft honestly, I needed something that felt right and went back and found it then just made this song. Nothing more, nothing less.

Next up is Freestyle 14. I already hear you asking why it's called that, the simple answer is because it was the last track I finished. It wasn't supposed to be that way. The previous stuff with noPhiltr made it happen that way, I wanted to get him on the album due to him also having an album with wizard but he never found the time so I gave this record to Alma and I'm happy I did. He killed it like always. If you're an underground artist and need someone to work with, hit up Alma 16. I'll link him here actually.

Now we have another one of those songs I was going to make regardless of the album, Slip Up. I'm in love with this instrumental, it's honestly an unbelievable track. I adore every last second of it. It's the perfect beat to just rant on, I could've easily doubled the length tbh but I didn't want to over do it. I feel like I hit a sweet spot with this track. This is another favorite of mine on the album and one I'd recommend to any fan of hiphop music like this,

Continuing on this run of wizard's more synth heavy, experimental stuff, we have Jeeb Sesh. I loved that beat too and knew I'd want to use it next to Slip Up on an album. This was one of the first songs I wrote for the album, I did this as a complicated relationship I was in at the time was ending. Honestly, I just saw Dru Kelly mentioning how they're open for features and thought he'd sound great on this stuff too so I hit him up and we got it done. I like his verse and the hook we did together sounds fantastic so I know it was the right choice. Also, just to say so, he's a better rapper than King Havana despite what those Twitter nerds will tell you so I had to do it after they beefed.

Finally, the album ends with Reset. I wanted to fit the loose "internet, computer, etc" theme going on here with this song which is why I wrote it as a reset and kept the verses simple. My energy does a lot more of the talking here. This album was in many ways like a reset for me. My first album truly in my new era.

So, that's it, parished404! I want to thank everybody who contributed to this but I'll use this last space to thank Zain Soliman. Without his talent as an engineer this wouldn't have been possible and I'm eternally grateful to have him by my side. Once I listened to this album back in it's complete form I knew I picked the right artist to be by my side at this capacity. Thank you to Mir for making the beautiful covers for this album and thank you to wizard404 for letting me to this. Honestly speaking, it's an honor and I hope to be able to do a volume 2 of new tracks once he manages to get the time free from college. We'll see how that goes, but for now check out the album! It's on all platforms. That's all from me for now. Thank you all.

[gavinparished]

Even Summer Ends, my second album produced entirely by hadrrien. I've mentioned this in passing and really this is the second record to break off from In Another Life. Let me explain the tracklist.

I picked up the instrumental to Highkey after going back and deciding to put this record out with hadrrien. It's one of my favorite instrumentals of his. Just threw this together quick with the catchy hook. I figured it was a nice way to start the album. She Like was also a newer addition to what I was doing at the time. Originally it was right after Stressed Out on In Another Life and that album was a few tracks longer, but that made me keep pushing it back, not finishing stuff etc so I decided to just make this record and put it here. I got 5eva on board after telling him a bit about that album but he was chill with it becoming it's own thing. I sent him the beat and he returned it with his vocals, I filled the verses and we called it a day. I love this song till this day, it feels like summer.

Don't Leave Me Calling was originally sent to someone too, I honestly don't remember who. But I put this one together pretty quick, tried my best to write something melodic. Honestly, that's my weak point as of now. Writing stuff with melodies like that is just difficult and I tried my best to explore that here. I like the verses I did though and this song is still a good one.

Stuck was one of the songs originally meant for BenzoSaint on Long Nights. It didn't work out cause they weren't feeling it but that happens from time to time. I was looking for people to collaborate with so I asked my Twitter feed and Jango UU replied so I sent it his way with what I did and he worked his magic. His feature is great, he's a great artist.

New JT just randomly came to me one day. I thought of one of the opening bars and just decided to go with the JT concept. I loveeed putting this one together and this track honestly deserves a lot more love if you ask me. It's probably my favorite on the album.

5eva strikes again on Disappear. I hit up Lexx Stokes because of I knew his amazing voice just fits perfectly on this more spacey-inspired production. Though this track was also originally intended to be on Long Nights. I sent it to both Keola and BenzoSaint but no luck. Sadly yes but I like what we came up with here. Lexx's hook sounds great, I'm very happy with what he got back to me and 5eva also sent back a solid, fitting feature. This is a great one.

Second to last is Lie, the last song on here originally intended for Long Nights. I sent this one to both Keola and YungLo$t$oul but for this album I decided to just write it on my own. I'm happy with what I wrote. I don't remember if I mentioned it on the last post but Memories from Distorted Memories was also intended to be on Long Nights with a verse from BVNK$. The mention is a fitting end to the mentions of that album.

Sleepless is the last song I made for the album. I saw hadrrien posted this instrumental on TikTok and I asked him for it, he gladly sent it my way and it was a perfect ending to this short little project.

This album is solid and fun! I'm a fan of it, it's nice to play in the summer. But for me it was just finally finishing up what Long Nights could've been. Honestly, I've been thinking of doing a remaster of Long Nights. Make it sound a bit better, but I'm unsure. We'll see in the future. I'd recommend this album for this summer! Songs like Highkey, She Like, Stuck, New JT and Disappear are perfect for this time of year!

You'll hear one more short section about me and hadrrien in my post about In Another Life, where 2 of our songs together also managed to stay on the tracklist. But for now you'll have to presave it. It releases in 3 days from this post going up and I couldn't be more excited. Check it out!

[gavinparished]

Distorted Memories.

On a roll after dropping Long Nights, what's my next move? Well, another album of course! This time I did a mix of things to get this ball rolling. I had In Another Life set, but I also had all those experimental leftovers still. So what did I do? I took a break from the more poppy music and decided to get freaky with it.

As previously stated, Distorted Memories is a mixtape of old music I had laying around that I wanted to work on and released. Old stuff from typhon that never worked out, my own older songs that I didn't finish, and a lot of new stuff too in reality. It's about half half, but we'll start with the older half.

Glitch In The System, Grind, Judgments and New Me were sitting on my hard drive for years. This project started almost as a full typhon collab record but it evolved as time passed. These songs made the cut. Glitch In The System is the intro for obvious reasons, I used it to experiment with vocals and lyric writing. To good effect, if I may say so myself. Grind was a fun song I just wanted to do, I hit Saia up for the feature after he showed interested because why not, right? Judgments I sent directly to Gery Houjay. I know him through an in person friend and he was just starting out his career. This song was the closest I had to something he'd like at the time so I sent him 3 beats, he picked this one, did his bit and I finished the track. New Me was simple. I hit up a douchebag rapper for a feature but decided to do it myself because I was too broke to pay for the feature at the time. Thank God for that because his whole internet crew tried to get me shunned from the community at one point but it didn't work then. It's a shame they're doing so well now but that's how the cookie crumbles.

Now, i said I have some older songs here. That's only half true. I talked about What Am I To You? with Akenna in my post about 2019-2020. This song went through a lot of versions but I put this version together to highlight her beautiful vocals. I used that to try and write some poetic lyrics myself. I'm quite fond of this song. However Need A Fix is a relatively new song. Produced in 2021 as a type beat for YouTube, I went back to this one after hearing all the other tracks on here, it was very fitting so I took it. I sent it to Alma for a hook and he delivered, then to try and get Tendo out of retirement I sent it to him and he replied with a banger verse. It's unfortunate he's inactive again. He's a great artist.

However I have two songs I want to quickly do too. One is the last one produced by me, Little Alchemy with AJE SMD. This one's story is quite funny actually. AJE SMD released an entire album that he apparently just didn't ever get permission to use the beats for. So he hit me up about it, saying he feels horrible and would pay me. I told him that's not necessary and I'm just very happy to hear how much he loved my beat and that he came to me now before I found out. We agreed that he'd just update his album to add my verse and call it a day. However he never did that and started ghosting me like an asshole so I took it as a single and released it in January before attaching it so this album. He was kinda douchey about not making it work out as I'd wanted it to, especially considering he stole my beat, but whatever. Life isn't as nice as we wish it was most of the time.

The next song is a Long Nights leftover. Memories, produced by hadrrien, also made it's way here. Originally I wanted BVNK$ to do a verse on here, which he agreeed to, for Long Nights but it ended up not working out because his situation took his recording equipment away. A close producer friend of mine loves this track however so I'm still grateful I could keep this instrumental and give it a new life. I'll link Long Nights below for anybody curious in that, you can see how it was made in a previous post of mine too.

Now, from this point forward we're getting to the newer songs on the album. I'll talk about them in order from "least" important to the future to most.

Lost is a solid track. blank thought engineered both Long Nights and Distorted Memories so it was only inevitable that we'd cross paths properly musically as well. I liked rapping on his boom bap production a lot, it was super easy. He works closely with Zim so I thought hey fuck it and just messaged him about being on it too, which worked out and he gave me a banger performance back. This is one of my favorites from the album.

Next is Dread. I have worked with all these guys multiple times by now and will release multiple tracks with each of them in the future. I bought some beats from klwn cat a while back. After all the updates to In Another Life and my self titled album I decided to toss this one in here, as it didn't really fit anywhere else anymore. I did my verse a while before the album was even an idea and I loved it. I wasn't sure who to send it to but sent it Alma's way after he tweeted about doing features fast, this is honestly how he became my go to guy to send tracks to because he gave this great verse back to me same day. Unbelievable talent. Next is Departure. I really just tweeted that I needed a feature done and he replied then I sent it his way and he delieved. He's a great rapper, one of the best artists in the scene really, so I'm happy to have built this relationship up.

The second to last track is Jazzy Freestyle. I'm sure you've asked yourself by now "hey, what makes this one more important than a track produced by klwn cat`?" Which is a good question considering my size as an artist vs his. Well, it's by Riley Harper. I've known Riley since she started producing. She just randomly heard my Supervillain Theme beat when I was sending it to Denzel, DM'd me she liked it then we talked some and since then I've been there for her whole producer career. It's been very special to witness, especially considering how fast she's improved. She's amazing. We went through a few discussions on how she'll release music but decided that this would be a teaser to whatever she does. First I was gonna executive producer an album for her, helping get features, doing features, helping pick what beats to use, all that. But that fell through cause of how busy she is. So I decided, after finishing Distorted Memories and my next two albums after that, that I'd start a proper collab album with her. I'm a fan of collab albums and she was done so that's my next job after my album with Karma. That makes this song the first teaser. Vocally I'm honestly mixed but it was very fun writing and it's a good teaser into the future.

Lastly we have Peggy Freestyle. Honestly? I don't love what I did here, I wish I did it better. But it's here because it's produced by my current engineer, future collaborator, Zain Soliman. Zain engineered my last 2 released albums and In Another Life and I'm more than happy with him doing all this for me. He's amazing. His producing is fantastic and he blessed me with a pack of it which I took this from. This calls back to earlier too whenIDK Young J was dissing me. It was him I was talking about getting on New Me before he was a douche to me, so I used this song to throw shots at Havana which is also why I wish it was better. But that's on me for rushing this album a bit.

To be fully transparent with you all, this album isn't what I wanted it to be. I should've taken more time, polished it more, but I rushed it out so it'd drop before Back Home on my birthday and I could have my aesthetic set up the way I wanted it to. That worked out but some of these songs and the album as a whole suffered a bit from it. I learned a lot from that. I think about it often whenever I go into a new process. The difference between fast creating and rushing is a thin line but I learned to navigate it with my next album.

A piece of advice to end this, don't rush your art. Let it be what it should be, give it the time it needs. It's your baby so take care of it like it is. But sometimes your baby needs a little push to to learn how to walk. Do what feels right, art is about feeling after all. You can give this album a listen with the link below. Songs like Little Alchemy, Dread, Lost and New Me are all 100% worth a listen, give the whole album a try if you like those!

[gavinparished]

Long Nights, Gavin Parished x hadrrien

So here it is, my big comeback album. What's the story behind this one? Well it's almost as long and complicated as the last post so buckle up.

I mentioned meeting hadrrien at the same time as all my other collaborators, how'd that happen? We met each other on the same site and I just loved what he did so I hit him up and he let me use all his beats for free, would even send me exclusives. Meeting him and loving his style is a big part of what destroyed the album though honestly. But once I realized how great his lofi music was it was all over.

I also mentioned GB being pulled ahead in my explaination last post due to my creative process, why was that? Well, because between GB and Kickin Rocks came Valentine's Day and Cover Blown, my first two tracks produced by hadrrien. These started my new album and were the nail in the coffin for that era which is why I decided to keep those instrumentals by the other producers in the vault and dump mine as a beat tape EP. This however wasn't the start of Long Nights, it was the true start of In Another Life. In Another Life was originally my self titled album. It featured these 2 songs hadrrien did along with some others that made it to our 2 albums. From my side it featured songs from most the beats I uploaded to YouTube at the time as type beats. I was also considering using april leaves remix for the album if I could get it cleared. But once my vision started getting tighter all of this changed. I'll link We Fall Again and April Leaves Remix here, because they've found their home as singles between albums.

To understand what's coming we have to go back to my work with $alem. We met in 2018 and made our EP together, however shortly after that she introduced me to YungLo$t$oul and we 3 formed the group Underground Rapture. Eventually we branched out BROCKHAMPTON style and had a large group. Our members included us 3 of course, Lil Drewy, DressedInDior (now BenzoSaint), sleepyjoss (now effigy body / become burried), Keola, BVNK$ and at the end hadrrien. Two other members were also added but I'm leaving out their names due to offensive remarks being made about indigenous peoples. They don't even deserve attention. After they were kicked $alem greenlit me adding hadrrien to the group which is why Long Nights became an album. I created it as a tribute album because when the group was founded we were all making music together. We were making a mixtape. Keola & Drewy even did their own full mixtape and BVNK$ was featuring on BenzoSaint songs. Stuff was working out but time got to us and we all drifted off into our own direction. It was unfortunate.

I then quickly did my next single, Wasted Time, which featured UR member Lil Drewy. The plan was to keep going like this and I'd put together my own mixtape, featuring all the artists from the album. Ruby produced the intro, I took the song from her SoundCloud because it fit perfectly with the beat and recently she didn't have a laptop to produce. However getting more features became difficult. I had originally sent multiple tracks to everybody but nothing worked out for one reason or another. Keola and YungLo$t$oul just didn't get back to me really, BenzoSaint moved on to making a different type of music, BVNK$ couldn't properly record. It sucked. So I took what I had and made this first record. The intro with $alem is covered, I kept it as a tribute to UR. The three singles open the album then I added two very personal songs to me. Love You From Afar and Don't Let It Rain are two of my favorite songs I've ever made and both will always be very special to me. Caving In was a miracle, I'm very happy become buried replied to me and we made this happen. This track is a fan favorite. Silence is the outro and it was honestly a bit rushed on my part because it was originally a longer album but that's how it goes sometimes. I finished the album! It wasn't much of a tribute to Underground Rapture considering the situation but it was my first album in 4 years so I didn't mind too much.

This album was a great way for me to come back. The lofi style, truly being able to put my heart into these beats while also getting hadrrien out there. It was perfect and I'm very happy I made the choice to just finish it instead of dragging it out again, I'm also happy about that considering we ended up doing another album with those remains that some would say is even better than this one. But I'll talk about those songs, who was meant to be on them and how I got the new features once I get to it. For now, you should check out Long Nights! It's a stand out in my catalog and it features one of my favorite 3 track runs in my entire discography. You can give it a listen with the link below.

To end this section off I will add that this album breaking off of In Another Life only helped improve it. All songs, mainly the 3 favorites I mentioned in the end, were all in the running to be on that record but putting them into their own body of work really made me able to hone in and make that album so much more better while giving these songs the space they needed to breath. You can check out In Another Life here too, presave for now, it drops June 28th, 2025. One of my strongest albums yet, if not the best.

[gavinparished]

Gp Music 2019-2021

Alright, so this is the first complicated phase. I wanted to start a new album with all I was doing with collaborators from RepostExchange at the time. So I did my best to hop right to it. I met KarmaTheGXD, typhon, hadrrien, Akenna and another rapper I'll call TTR for short this way.

I met TTR first, I sent him the last 2 beats for The Rez Life Be Like but decided to use them myself to finish off my album. He introduced my to Akenna, a singer, and then I produced Love V1, which made it to my GB EP, for them and me. Eventually I had a falling out with TTR so this track never came out as it was supposed to, he never even recorded vocals for me sadly. But Akenna did and they were stunning. I ended up using them on What Am I To You? from Distorted Memories. For future context, a lot of the album I was working on at this time became stuff for either the GB EP or Distorted Memories.

Another short reference is to my SoundCloud exclusive song Future G.O.A.T. Rapper. It's a remix which is why it's only up there. This rapper, an X wannabe really, I was cool with at the time wanted to collab and sent me that beat. I sent him the verse back after he sent me that beat asking for a feature but he never got back to me on it. Eventually he said he scrapped his song so I just edited my porition to work alone and dropped it. Fuck that guy tbh, he was never really a true supporter and never had a bone of originality in his body either. No hard feelings though I guess.

My first relationship was with KarmaTheGXD, so that's where I'll start. Due to me not being able to work at the time, he decided we'd split revenue on our songs together once I could do that. I agreed and his first gift to me was the beat for Thank You For Fighting. It was the first track I ended up writing for myself after my previous mixtape. It sounded great! He mixed it and gave my voice all these spacey sound effects. I just wish I had a better recording method and more confidence sooner.

We later ended up doing Kickin Rocks together. In my opinion this song has a lot less problems as far as recording sound and confidence in myself goes. I still listen to this song from time to time. It's one of my first tracks where I knew I was finally making progress. The lofi feel of the instrumental, the catchy hook with the effect yet simple verses, the spacey feeling of it all. That's exactly what I wanted to do.

I suppose the next chronological release would be my CF EP, which started as 2 tracks I produced. The first is illusions of happiness, just an instrumental I wanted to use as an interlude. I love this track and when I try to sell my older music to people this is one of the highlights they always mentioned. The two halves of the song, the transition period, the full change in vibe as it so simply switches. It's great honestly. LEVELS, which I created with $alem, is a whole different vibe. She provided me with most of the loops, then I did my best to build a track with it all. I love the outro specifically. I tried my best to really keep the loops entertaining but have more come in each loop around until the end. I think it was amateur work but there's some charm in it. This was the last time I'd properly work with $alem sadly. More on that to come in the future. The link below is to the EP with the song telephone calls included, my next single. It's a rap song produced by typhon.

SO, I've mentioned this a few times but this album was going to be a bit of a fusion between Karma's spacey style, typhon's industrial edge and my own classic inspired beats. I'll talk about what I did with typhon next. A few songs ended up getting made and released. telephone calls was the only one released at the time. The harsher, industrial feel added on to the sound I was going for and worked as a good transitional period between my songs and the one's produced by Karma which is why I wanted to make the album this way.

But this album didn't end up happening, there's actually 4 years between The Rez Life Be Like and my next album. Why's that? Life got in the way. I started going to school and learning German in the pandemic. Really that's how this run started with Thank You For Fighting. The fact that I made any songs at all in the advance school I was in plus my hours learning German is really outstanding, I just couldn't give it up. I didn't really. Once my classmates discovered my music they started making fun of me, it started bothering me less as I got better.

But since this album was scrapped, what happened to it's pieces? My songs I produced in this time went into the GB EP mostly. Everything on there was produced in the sessions for this album besides Heavy Pixels which was a throwaway from 2017-2019, not sure when exactly. But you can listen to those here. I like the production here. I tried learning trap with stuff like Double Kill and WTF LMAO, the latter being my favorite of the two due to it keeping that special edge that made it me. Love Interlude was my expansion and experimentaion with Love V1 after I couldn't write any verses on it I was happy with but I love the Love V1 instrumental with all my heart. Hearing Akenna's vocals on it, sadly not avaliable for you all, just warms my heart. Rumble is also a closer I had such a fun time making. Production-wise it's a highlight of my whole discography.

All 4 of the songs typhon produced on Distorted Memories were leftovers from this era. It was really gonna have a side A and B, with typhon doing the B side mostly with me mixed in. Glitch In The System was the intro there too meanwhile the other songs were just mixed in. I was writing Judgments at the time but hated the lyrics so I scrapped it. As far as my contributions to Distorted Memories from this era go, you can hear Akenna's vocals on my synth work on What Am I To You? A gorgeous, spokenword inspired song I did my best to put together with the pieces I had left of all the songs I made with those synths. You can hear that album here. I'll post more about it once I get to that point as well. And one last thing before I leave this section behind, Rehab Interlude from my upcoming album In Another Life was also from this era. It survived the longest and is my favorite song I've done with typhon yet.

This era honestly ends with Kickin Rocks, GB and Distorted Memories just got dragged into this because of what happened with them. Now I'm sure you're wondering what happened with the Karma instrumentals I was working with? I still have them. He sent me at least 100 beats as I was working on this. Currently, I have over 20 of them selected and am putting together a Madvillainy inspired album with them. I'm doing my best to create a forward-thinking, sound of the future version of that album. I will say it's not true that there won't be no hooks at all, but my pen game has gone up big time since these songs so I'm coming at these on a whole new level. I'm going at this process a bit diffferently than normally so I'm not sure how long it'll take but I'm doing my best to finish it within a year from now, I've already written multiple songs and gotten multiple features back. Big things are coming. Oh, and if you can't wait for that I also have 2 songs he produced and one he featured on for my upcoming album, In Another Life. End Of The Road is the outro he so beautifully produced while Mind Games is our hit that we both feature on. I'll link the now presave, later lead to DSPs, link here for people to listen in the future. I'm on a roll and I don't plan to stop any time soon. See you all there, thank you for the love on these posts so far, it means the world to me.

[gavinparished]

The Rez Life Be Like

So, here it is. My true debut, vocals and everything. But this project has the most complicated release schedule by far, almost everything being released beforehand. Starting in 2018 at home and ending when I was forced to move to Austria a year later. Let me walk you through it with all the information I still have of it.

The first single: i hate me, and you should too. I made this while I was still finishing the instrumentals for The Wandering Minds EP. It's my second track ever to feature vocals, the first one was called Sometimes and is sadly lost for good. I lost it a while back after deleting and and the file for it is also gone since it was in 2018 and since then I've gotten new computers, hard drives, etc. But alas, this is a good song to count as a debut single for my voice. By this time I had already spoken in videos so I didn't make a big deal about it, but this is the only song of this era I did finish a music video for. The simple beat was inspired by guys like XXXTENTACION, specifically his older, more "experimental" stuff, hence the heavy effects on my vocals. Later, the interlude FEAR got added as just a piece of the song when I added it to streaming services. You can watch the music video below.

Second comes the song In The End. This track was produced after XXXTENTACION past away and it was specifically inspired by his songs Never and The Fall. I titled it In The End as a tribute to Chester Bennington of Linkin Park and XXXTENTACION. They were, at the time, my two biggest influences in music and their deaths were also a big part of why I decided to make a career out of the music I was making. The way their music had helped me and in many ways still continues to bring me joy, help me through bad moments, and much much more. I went for X's style but the track lyrically ended up being about my partner at the time. If I remember correctly we were struggling, as 15 year old lovers do, and what does an artist do besides write of their muse? I wrote about her, and even when it was negative she was never upset. She understood and even encouraged me to write about it and talk it out. I can't express how really emotionally intelligent that was for someone our age and I'm eternally grateful I learned that's how it should be so young. It made my art as unique as it was. Her encouragement is why I wasn't scared to just make alt music like this.

Lost, Finding The Way is the next song I realeased from the album. I remember recording this one in my mom's trailer home. I was in her room recording early morning as everyone else slept. It was interesting. Producing this instrumental was also fun for me. I remember just doing my best to place the strums in the correct positions and going back and forth on kick patterns I wanted. Can you guess what this track was about? Yes, I felt lost. I wasn't sure where life was going really but honestly I had no idea what was in store for me in the next few months. This song is also one of the only ones to have the original still avaliable, so I'll post it below.

Now we have THE VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD. This track was super fun to produce too but the vocals really don't hold up for me. Honestly not much of it really does, it's just about me feeling like I'm going crazy. Which is why I made it after the previous song. That's how I felt, like I was crazy. But I don't want to linger on this one really, this one is boring and can be lost to time as far as I'm concerned.

INTERMISSION: RUN!. So, what does this mean? The only single released in between these tracks is RUN!, a diss track to some online rapper I interacted with at the time. I hate this song tho, this is probably my worst song. I like the synths I guess but lazy drum loop, bad vocals, bad lyrics. This is the worst one. But we all have our duds. Just wanted to say to Josh The Author that I did this at 15, I'm not mad about whatever I was then because SHOCKER, it was almost 10 years ago. So yk, move on. (I say this because I interacted with who might be the same guy and he was lowkey passive aggressive but fuck it we ball).

And now we're back on track with Don't Go Pt 2. Why did I make a part 2? To add vocals. This song started as the original Don't Go but I ended up changing some suttle aspects to give it some more life as I rap on it. Nothing too special about the instrumental that Don't Go already is but I like both a lot. I'm telling you guys now, this isn't the end of this series and a new Don't Go, a higher level version, will be coming soon, just stay tuned. But generally, these are tribute tracks. A necessary addition to my discography considering all the people I've lost.

Now it's time for a more fun song tho. That same boom-bap inspired styles comes to life in The Nerdy Rez Kid Freestyle. This song was just me trying to write fun bars. I did my best, writing about all my special interests like Godzilla and Kong while also doing my best to flow like some of my favorite rappers at the time. Specifically like X, Ski Mask The Slump God & Denzel Curry. This song was made for an associate of mine, KarmaTheGXD. We had just recently met online through RepostExchange and we wanted to collab, he wanted me to show him what I could do bar-wise considering that my songs til this point haven't really been about the bars. So I dropped this beat, wrote this track and uploaded it. He liked it so we started working on some stuff that I'll get to later. As I write this post, my next album is dropping within the week with contributions from him. I'll keep it a secret for you all here, but I'm also working on an album full of beats he's sent me over the years. Lots of stuff that honestly fits in right now despite it mostly being sent to me in the 2020-2021 time range. More on that later. This song also has an original cover art avaliable, another treat for you all!

So, now we're in my big info drop era. A lot has happened which is why there are 4 months between the releases of these songs. However, this is the last "single" before I decided to finish up and fuse all these tracks, plus 3 more, into a mixtape. So sit back, grab a snack and prepare yourself for my whole life story.

Where was I when I started dropping these songs? i hate me, and you should too came out as my summer break ended in 2018, I was going into ninth grade. Fresh off my vacation to Austria to visit my family, ready to come home and see my people again, I was more than prepared to start the year off with a bang. The songs just came out as they came to me, however that was until January the following year when The Nerdy Rez Kid Freestyle came out. January was rough. I lived with my grandma my whole life. For the very short period I lived with my mom as a young child I'd still visit my grandparents in their respective homes, they were split up. But since I was 4 my grandma more or less became my mom. So at the time I was living with her, my two brothers, our uncle and her partner, JH. JH was a great man, but he had passed away in August of 2018 and that really did a number on us. My grandpa, as previously mentioned, has also been dead since December of 2016 so really we were just getting used to it all. We had just moved into his house that I inherited from him too so at least that was all over. But it only got worse. My grandma had been sick since December 2016 too, at the time she fell into a coma but she managed to wake up and survive. She was sadly never really healthy after that, just deteriorating in front of our eyes for the following 2 years. She died in Feburary 2019, not even a month after her mother finally passed away in her late 90s. This was a family shattering blow. I'll keep this bit short but till my dad could make it to us we stayed with my mom (for context, she wasn't around a while but had come back in the last few years, my brothers share a dad but not with me and he's not in the picture. So my dad came back and we did our best to get my affairs in order. Storing all our stuff, getting my brothers moved in with my grandma's sister who promised to look after us. However, a different fate awaited me. I had to go with my dad to Austria. I didn't want to, but I did. To be fully honesty with you, I still have no idea if it was the best choice but now, 6 and a half years later, I still live here so I guess I must have did something right. But now I was stuck here, no language abilites after losing more or less my entire family and being taken away from the rest. I had to give up my education back home, all my friends, my girlfriend. It was one of the worst periods of my life.

Now we get to the last single, questions love can't answer. This song was me writting out my frustration with all of this. The fact that it all hurt me and my relationship so deeply. At the time I wanted to wait with my partner, move back as soon as I turned 18 and start our life like we had dreamed. But that didn't happen and that's okay. We both seem to be doing well and doing what we dreamt of so there's no harm done. My raw emotions and wanting to rant are why I kept this instrumental so soft and bare boned. So people would really feel the emotion behind it. After this era of my life was over this song never really sonically felt special to me, but recently it blew up after being used in some TikToks in Turkey and it's not probably the most streamed song period on this album on the big platforms. Funny how things work out.

Now we get to the last 3 additions to the album. I added Don't Go to fill the space between Lost, Finding The Way and Don't Go Pt 2 on the album. That was draft one. I originally branded it as THE 15 YEAR WAR even back before my final single. I was at war with myself in many ways, in many more with the world around me. So I did my little edgy "write on my hands" bit, made a cover and called it a day.

Due to moving I decided to expand this project though, turning it into The Rez Life Be Like as a final closing on my life there for the moment. A way I could link people here to my life there. In this phase I added the FEAR interlude to the end of i hate me, and you should too. The interlude of the guitar strums starting at the start start of THE VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD was also added in this phase and as the album was updated with the next singles I also changed the cover art to something more fitting.

Now, I'm finally at this album's end. The Rez Life Be Like and Gavin's Story were added. I made these 2 songs more or less at the same time. Bouncing between them after I finished producing both the beats. It was a fun process. I wanted to give the album a more hiphop feel considering it's the direction I planned to go in the future. So I did what I do best here. Got some weird sample loops, added some raw drums ass drums and some hard basslines and called it a day. The title track was just me ranting and Gavin's Story was me doing my best to tell a story in third person before the end reveal that it's mine. Honestly nothing too special lyrically, but I could see myself improving since I started writing rap lyrics.

The album finally was officially done, a 10 song tracklist with a lot of variety. I was very proud of myself at the time for what I achieved. Honestly? I am now too all things considered. There's obvious a lot I'd change and how I go about making albums now is very different but I'm proud of myself for just sticking with what I wanted to do and making a project I could say was really me. It ended up getting one remix on the vocals. Some new mixes, some new recordings. But otherwise it remained more or less untouched. When I finally was able to send it to DSPs I gave it a new, higher quality and honestly better fitting album cover too.

I never thought of it back then, but eventually, of course once most these files were gone, I thought it'd be great to upload the instrumentals to all my tracks too. So I did my best to hunt down and edit what I could. It's clear to see in the upload dates of the instrumentals on YouTube. Eventually I got them all and sent them all to streaming. If you want to thank somebody for these, some not exactly how they are on the album I know, thank Tyler The Creator. His "Album + Insturmentals" format is exactly why I did this and plan to release all my instrumentals alongside the songs in the future. The ones I actually produced anyway.

As of June, 2025 this album is on all DSPs with the instrumentals included and I couldn't be happier. Do I think really any of it has stood the test of time? Kinda. I do still throw on some of the beats every once in a while but the other, more experimental tracks aren't for me anymore. But I do still see they get listeners every once in a while which is exactly why I keep them up. They are for someone else what those old X songs were for me, and I think that's very special.

You can find this record anywhere with the link below. I wouldn't really recommend it now to be completely honest but if you insist then I'd say i hate me, and you should too, The Nerdy Rez Kid Freestyle and Don't Go Pt 2 have held up the best, Don't Go as well but I count that more as a highlight of The Beats Inside My Head. STREAM THE ALBUM WITH THE LINK BELOW:

[gavinparished]

It's unbelievable that these two support me so much, they're really been here for my entire online career more or less and I don't know where I'd be without them and their support. They're the first people to ever donate to or buy my art, they've supported me to pursue my dreams from day one when even I was scared and even now they stand here by my side, ready to do anything. There's times they really were my only supporters and I can't thank either of them enough, even my life wouldn't give them the gratitude I truly hold for them. Support them and their posts in any way you can to because without them I wouldn't be here like this either.

The Beats Inside My Head

Hi! I'm going to run through my discography and add some details for you. This is my debut project, a 7 song mixtape I produced while I was coping with my grandfather's death. Before this I was making mashups on Soundtrap and learning how to to dubstep on Music Maker Jam. Originally, I was going to title these tracks after lines and give the project a different artwork but due to the events I changed up all of that. I'm sure why is understandable. There's not much to say here really sadly besides that this is a unique mix of electronic music and instrumental hiphop with an ambient feel to some of the sounds. It was fun learning to produce like this and I'd recommend Don't Go and Come Back.

However I will say it was a big change for me to release this project. At the time, I was working on being a YouTuber with one of my best friends, Daryan. We don't talk too much anymore but he designed the Gp on my first official piece of merchandise technically. It's not released or anything but I have it on in promo shots. I was making content about my interests at the time. Playing Minecraft, making custom Bionicles and giving them storylines, editing Pokemon AMVs, writing sketches, all the classic stuff. Unfortunately almost all of it is gone. One big collaboration AMV is still released, which I helped direct and edit for. It was a fun time but I decided to switch to music cause it became my biggest calling. I then proceded to delete all of my old videos, which honestly thinking back is heartbreaking. Were they cringe? 100%. Do I still want them up? Yes. Why? Well, it shows growth. Think, one day I'll be a bigger artist than I maybe ever imagined. If those videos were up, people from all over the world could see my true start, look at it then look at me then and say "hey, I'll try it!" Which is exactly why to this day I keep up my entire discography, unlike most annoying underground rappers who delete almost everything previously once a song blows up. There are a few AMV leftovers that I decided to keep up because I hadn't fully deleted them, check them out here!

But that's enough of that for now. In a way this album was me starting a legacy. I picked a sound, a style I liked and went for it. It really is easy to tell through this record alone what makes me different to the pears I surround myself with now. You can hear the DNA that is this album in my modern music, albeit way more defined and quality controlled. All I've done is improve in the last 8 years. Honestly typing that out just horrified me, I've been a content creator for a decade, around half my life, and a musician specifically for most of that too. It's crazy to think about but I like going back and listening to older records sometimes. Reminds me of where I came from.

With the above link you can listen to this tape. It's a swift listen, right around 18 and a half minutes. It's worth trying out, I still let some of the songs play when I listen to them. I want to shout out my grandfather too to end this. In a way I feel his death made me who I am, including the artist part of me. So I want to thank him for that, and may he rest in peace. I see him in my visions but honestly? I think about seeing him in the next place every single day.

[gavinparished]

Gavin Parished x $alem - The Beats Inside My Head

So, here it is! My second project all together is also a first in a way, my first collaboration project. For context, this is an updated cover for DSPs, it has all the original pieces but since then we've both had name changes. I was going by Gavin Burtscher at the time, yes simply my legal name. I decided to change it to Gavin Parished a while later, because I don't want to know what it'd be like being a white-passing person named Burtscher trying to be an underground rapper. However, at this time it was even worse. My name was GBX, thank God I didn't keep that one. It was taken actually which is what motivated me to switch. $alem is a great name for that style of production honestly but at the time she was going by 2can. I honestly don't remember why she changed it but I prefer the newer name as well.

So, how did this record come about? If I remember corerctly, this album came out in 2018 so my memory is a bit foggy on it, $alem messaged me because she liked the songs I had out at the time. All I had released by then was a now lost single titled Sometimes and my first album, The Beats Inside My Head. After a lot of talking about how we'd do this we decided, after creating 2 of the 3 collab tracks, to just take our own songs and mix them in. So the project would become a rule of 3: 3 of her songs, 3 of mine and 3 collaboration songs. We both thought it seemed like a cool project so she attached 3 of her previously released songs, one of the most recent at the time, and I attached 2 I had made during the summer with Don't Go serving as the album outro. During the summer the two songs I made for this were Lost In Space and Unknown Temptation (along with my own single "i hate me, and you should too" which I'll get back to later).

Lost In Space was a very large song. I spent weeks on it. It was inspired by my electronic and dubstep roots in the music creation field along with the trap music I was currently into. It's the most complex song on the album, switching up every few bars so the beat is always unique sounding.

Unknown Temptation was my tribute to XXXTENTACION, as it had been finished a few weeks after he had passed away. It was finished before Lost In Space but came out after, I saved it to release with the album. This is the more "me" sounding song of my songs on the project. The weird synths, hard hitting drums, freaky loops. This is the DNA I kept as I grew. I made this song as a tribute to him because he inspired me a lot as an artist, despite all the rotten things he did as a person. I remember when he passed away, I was sitting in my room on vacation in Austria, visiting my family with my dad. His and Chester Bennington's deaths were, at the time, the only celebrity deaths that really effected me and honestly? Without X, there wouldn't be the same Gp standing here today. But you'll hear a lot more of that in my next album.

Before I get to Ruby's contributions I want to add that currently only our collab songs and my singles are up on DSPs, but this post inspired me to message her about getting her songs up and making it a whole again. However, if you'd like to hear it in it's original form, you can listen to the whole thing on SoundCloud, with links to both our profiles, below.

So, as far as her contributions go. The intro track, 10 kills g, was new at the time and I knew it had to be the intro. It got a rerelease and slight edit as the album dropped. Cocaine and Xaxax were her already released editions. We decided on those 2 after just talking about what the album is and what I'm doing creatively. They fit so we went with them. There's sadly not much more to tell here.

But now we have it, the 3 collaboration tracks. How'd they happen? Well, we made coffin first, which samples some Lil Peep interview clips. After making that beat around it we decided to go with that concept for all the tracks and sample artists we're inspired by. Ruby chose the artists and I did a lot of the lifting on the producion side. She was the lead on the first listed collaboration, Let Me Elevate Your Mind. She picked out the song and the voice clips while I did minimal editing. However, I did my best to work with what we had for graveyard robbers with the BONE$ and $UICIDEBOY$ clips. It fits her sound a lot more and honestly you can tell we were both amatuers at the time but that's part of the charm of these old projects, right? It was fun putting these together and eventually this lead to something a lot bigger that I'll get to down the road. You can listen to these tracks, as well as my 3, on Spotify. Here's the link to the 3 collaboration tracks.

So, the album is done! 10 kills g, Unknown Temptation, Let Me Elevate Your Mind and graveyard robbers were here, fresh to the public. And people liked it. It was nice. Honestly it was the last time for a long time that people in my life actually liked my music which felt great. Another album done, on to the next. During the creation of this record I was creating my debut hiphop mixtape, this time with vocals! This tape inspired how I went about producing a lot on there and my history wouldn't be the same without this cool project. Thank you to Ruby for reaching out for me and making The Wandering Minds happen. Sadly she doesn't produce much anymore but hey, maybe I can get her out and about again to do a lil sequel to this. I'll leave with this, show her SoundCloud some love! She's a really nice person and deserves it all.

[gavinparished]

The Beats Inside My Head

Hi! I'm going to run through my discography and add some details for you. This is my debut project, a 7 song mixtape I produced while I was coping with my grandfather's death. Before this I was making mashups on Soundtrap and learning how to to dubstep on Music Maker Jam. Originally, I was going to title these tracks after lines and give the project a different artwork but due to the events I changed up all of that. I'm sure why is understandable. There's not much to say here really sadly besides that this is a unique mix of electronic music and instrumental hiphop with an ambient feel to some of the sounds. It was fun learning to produce like this and I'd recommend Don't Go and Come Back.

However I will say it was a big change for me to release this project. At the time, I was working on being a YouTuber with one of my best friends, Daryan. We don't talk too much anymore but he designed the Gp on my first official piece of merchandise technically. It's not released or anything but I have it on in promo shots. I was making content about my interests at the time. Playing Minecraft, making custom Bionicles and giving them storylines, editing Pokemon AMVs, writing sketches, all the classic stuff. Unfortunately almost all of it is gone. One big collaboration AMV is still released, which I helped direct and edit for. It was a fun time but I decided to switch to music cause it became my biggest calling. I then proceded to delete all of my old videos, which honestly thinking back is heartbreaking. Were they cringe? 100%. Do I still want them up? Yes. Why? Well, it shows growth. Think, one day I'll be a bigger artist than I maybe ever imagined. If those videos were up, people from all over the world could see my true start, look at it then look at me then and say "hey, I'll try it!" Which is exactly why to this day I keep up my entire discography, unlike most annoying underground rappers who delete almost everything previously once a song blows up. There are a few AMV leftovers that I decided to keep up because I hadn't fully deleted them, check them out here!

But that's enough of that for now. In a way this album was me starting a legacy. I picked a sound, a style I liked and went for it. It really is easy to tell through this record alone what makes me different to the pears I surround myself with now. You can hear the DNA that is this album in my modern music, albeit way more defined and quality controlled. All I've done is improve in the last 8 years. Honestly typing that out just horrified me, I've been a content creator for a decade, around half my life, and a musician specifically for most of that too. It's crazy to think about but I like going back and listening to older records sometimes. Reminds me of where I came from.

With the above link you can listen to this tape. It's a swift listen, right around 18 and a half minutes. It's worth trying out, I still let some of the songs play when I listen to them. I want to shout out my grandfather too to end this. In a way I feel his death made me who I am, including the artist part of me. So I want to thank him for that, and may he rest in peace. I see him in my visions but honestly? I think about seeing him in the next place every single day.