gauniii

[gauniii]

My First Love, is it?

First Love

I am isagani I am 15 years old. The first time that I've heard "first love" was from a friend of mine back in elementary, when I was a child I didn't know what love meant all know is "what I liked" like "I like that person" meaning you want to be with that person. Ofcourse like any other kid we all have our first crush'es back then I have lots of crushes lots of crazy crushes but none of them can't deserved my love.

Until she came. When I was in elementary I met a girl who just moved in and new to the market or what we called "palengke", she just watches us play and doesn't even want to participate in playing, I never see her play and I've never seen her play with the other kids, there was a 2 day straight that I was alone since no other kids was there, because most of them had classes and she was the only one that I can see and that I can play with, so I ask her to play with me and she actually played with me, we played until dawn and played again the other day and I guess I started to really like her since then.

Few days has past and I see her playing with other boys, there just this feeling of jealousy I guess but I didn't know it I just felt like it and I just joined and play with them and her and then just went on with it. I could say I fell inloved with that girl when I was a kid and that was my first until she moved out of town and they lived somewhere else more on that later

I have been into two relationships but so far, for what i think it was either I didn't give them enough or I didn't give them love it was a fail. I tried to find my one but I failed. I tried to communicate I got ghosted I learned and because of that it affected my second relationship I got cold until I apologize and ended it. I ended it because I know I will just hurt her more, it was better for me to hurt her bad and straight than to hurt her everyday with a cold feeling.

You can say im bad you can say im a jerk I don't care that is me and didn't change.I gived up finding my one since all I've been finding was fail and a turn up but I learned. I focused on my studies and grades didn't even think to find a new love. But I didn't know love was finding me...

End of classes, almost vacation I got a message it was the girl that I first fell inloved with but I didnt know that at the time she messaged "kamustaa" meaning "how are you" at first I thought it was nobody since their was no profile picture I didn't know who it was so I messaged "sino ka?","who are you?" she said "ka babata mokoo","I'm you're childhood friend" I said "sno?","who?" she said "ako ngay toh si soleil alala mo?","it's me soleil can't you remember?" I said "ahh ikaw pala yan soleil, ok lng naman ako bakit?","oh it's you soleil, I'm good why?".

And after that we talked we messaged each other everyday until she confessed that she fell inloved with me for more than 11 years since I was surprised because she loved me for that long she kept finding me even when we were apart she said it started when I played with her and then I confessed that I fell inloved with her when I was a kid, it was awkward, but we talked we were at the talking stage. We were talking long term, serious love, real love and we were talking everyday updating to each other, I've never loved like this, I've never been loved like this. Until we planned to meet we talked to each other, eat outside, went to the park, until I ask her to be my girlfriend luckily she said yes. After that we were happy, we fought, we communicate, we get tired, we take a rest and continue, I tried to find my love, I didn't know that my love was finding me.

Until now she is still my girlfriend, I am so thankful that I have this person I'm still inlove with her, like when we were kids.