gashleenxx

[gashleenxx]

[gashleenxx]

[gashleenxx]

how i been feeling

[gashleenxx]

i feel like growing up as a very autistic young girl i was isolated mostly by myself, im not sure if asperger’s is different from the spectrum or the whole logistics lolol

even as an adult i feel it so overwhelmingly, along with the bpd. i don’t think it’s misdiagnosed, making sense. i need to find more people with the autism + bpd i think, feeling like you don’t even fit with the cool bpd girls because you’re too weird. which is really weird, and i know that. maybe i’m crazy, i am.

i also love listening to animal crossing throughout the day though, it’s really nice specifically noon am ! but it helps me cool my thoughts and my chest. i used to be on abilify and duloxetine which helped quite a bit though honestly

im in the process of finding a purpose for my life i guess, im 22 years old living alone in a rented room and i have nothing to show except scars and a diagnosis saying i can’t enlist in the military. OR a gun btw, super annoying. lowkey ableism, unbased! i considered mortuary science, librarian, going into welding, staying as a landscaper with my moms company. i never prepared myself for college, i’d say did anyone, but everyone did. i feel like when you have a traumatic event in your life you don’t think about careers and college, you just think of having a home i guess. someone to love and love you, a support system, food on the table. which even nowadays is getting harder especially.

don’t even ask how i feel about men these days on my mama