garden-of-chrysalis

[garden-of-chrysalis]

How do I beat stress?

[ENTRY: 5 | WEEK 5]

I've been stressed the whole week so it feels very fitting to write this at the moment wwww.

Stress is something that's been part of my life since the moment I entered high school. Home life? Stress. Social Life? Stress. Academics? You guess it--- stress!

As someone with an awful hand at their own life management, I'm someone who has a lot of way to destress, depending on the kind of situation I've been put in, my body reacts very uniquely.

I sleep. A lot. When I am stressed. I sleep too much that there comes a point in time I develop an intimate relationship with my sleep inertia, in a situation where I'm too tired to set an alarm, I openly welcome the fact I may wake up not knowing where the north begins and where south ends.

Other than that, my diet gets altered very unhealthily. Sometimes I may eat too much and sometimes I do not eat at all. There's some type of system in my brain that makes me believe that if I eat I might not be able to think clearly, and therefore I may not perform well on my tasks.

You might notice that both of these are very, very bad habits. I noticed that too, and I'm trying to improve my stance on that. Though, I can't guarantee it'll start changing now.

[garden-of-chrysalis]

𓆩﹒ˏˋBittersweet´ˎ﹒𓆪

[ENTRY: 4 || WEEK: 4]

ღ You were the first to extend your hand, and with a smile that could rival the sun you said to me; "I'll hold your hand like this, and you won't be able to let go ." ღ

To my clematis; my confidant; my best friend in the world,

No amount of words on a paper could describe how much you held dear to me, with your bright charisma and daring personality.

You, who was brave and beautiful, intelligent and kind, you who never hesitated to speak your mind. To have met someone like you, I often wonder what achievement I earned to be so blessed.

ღ "I walk the crooked path alone, watching the sun shine on the paved road." ღ

You always stood up for me, kept me grounded when I lost all hope. I tried my best to do the same, to keep your smile bright, to chase away the ugly thoughts that festered around us.

To this day I still cannot bring myself to forget about you, for I cannot be who I am in the present without the mold of my life which was you.

I regret the fact that I did not try harder, did not do better to help you through your worst as you did through mine. I feel ashamed to think that I could have done more than just sit by your side as you breathed, raggedly, barely a whisper in the cold of the midnight.

And even then, your weak hand grasped mine and smiled,

I looked at you and your earnest eyes, not a lie in your smile.

So I held your hand tightly between mine, smiled and said to you,

"I'll hold your hand like this and you'll never see me let go."

To my clematis, my confidant, my best friend in the world;

I loved you, I admired you, and to this day I will always, and never, forget you.

Your blossom ღ

[garden-of-chrysalis]

・❥Rosemary❥・

[ENTRY: 3 || WEEK 3]

Today we're having nothing complex! Rather, since it's been a bit exhausting for me personally, I'd like to reflect on some of the things that happened during the entire week!

╰┈➤HOW DID YOU FIND THIS WEEK?➛

Exhausting, very exhausting. The week before this one had just been a quarterly assessment that I had been very anxious about, and the anxiety of not passing had followed me into the next week.

Aside from that, I had been suffering from a mild headache that wouldn't go away no matter what I did! Stacked up upon studies and projects, it was stress and chaos waiting to happen!

Luckily, my anxiety unfounded, I earned passable scores for half of the subjects-- not without being surprised. And managed to get through the 2 days without any further problems.

The second last school day, however, made me reflect on some things I've always ignored. Ever since I was a child, I was raised in an environment where everyone spoke a different language from mine. I went to school, interacted with friends, and perceived everything in English. By the time I was old enough and moved back to my home-country, I had trouble adjusting to our native language and it affected my daily living.

That second last day of school, we had a project in which we were required to write a short letter using our mother tongue and our secondary language. The fact that I had a hard time producing proper words in my mother tongue, means that I neglected and let myself be willingly ignorant to my lack in local involvement. It's safe to say that I was ashamed of myself.

: ̗̀✎WHAT ARE THE POSITIVE THINGS THAT HAPPENED?

I cooled down significantly. The last day of school had been half a day of club-choosing, we had orientations in the morning and were given time to choose the clubs of our liking. The break from lessons and having to sit in the same chair for 5 hours had given me the time to breathe properly without having to worry about the next subject.

By the end of the day, my friends and I planned an outing at the mall and enjoyed ourselves. We all admitted that it was nice to have a break from the stress. I myself was quite happy, they were people who decided to accept me into their group without hesitation and integrated me into their hangouts.

In a way, I was very glad to have met them.

⇢ ˗ˏˋWHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT ANNOYED YOU?

The heat, primarily. The heat was contributing to the severeness of my headache, causing me to lose focus every now and then. Well, other than that there were deadlines to chase, obnoxiously loud noises that hurt my ears and head even more. It was over all chaotic, but I sincerely regretted giving my friends a bad attitude during it all, the annoying things may have caused my behavior but it still was not justified. All in all? This whole week, except for the last day, was a bad memory.

-------------

That's all for this week! Thanks for your time. <3

[garden-of-chrysalis]

˚⊂Pansy⊃˚

[ENTRY: 2 || WEEK 2]

This week, I've was given a set of prompts to answer. I'll be responding to each of them based on my Possible Thoughts, Common Feelings, and Common Behaviors! ^.^

· .✧1st Situation:...

· .✧Possible Thoughts:...

Everyone is busy with their own current affairs. It's easy to understand that as a student, I am my own person. I may be acquainted with the people in my classroom but we all have different lifestyles, theirs happen to be much different than mine and I have no problem with that.

· .✧Common Feelings:...

Indifference. Of course, in the beginning it will always feel a bit awkward entering your classroom quietly with no sliver of interaction. But over time I find that I function well under a situation where I am at my utmost comfort: which happens to be solitude.

· .✧Common Behaviors:...

I simply sit down and mind my own business. I am most comfortable when I have a choice in my situations and I often choose to be alone. If anyone calls out to me I'd be happy to be involved, but if not, then I'd be at peace.

𓆩𓆪

·˚❥2nd Situation:...

·˚❥Possible Thoughts:...

Moved. I would be surprised to see my friends and close relatives thinking about me.

·˚❥Common Feelings:...

I would feel deeply touched. Knowing the fact that my friends and close relatives have thought about me and cared enough to celebrate my birthday with me would bring me joy and I'd be glad to have met them. In truth, I'd be more more happy to be able to spend time with people who I love than care about the event itself.

·˚❥Common Behaviors:...

I would thank them. I would tell them how much I appreciated their efforts into bringing this birthday into life, and celebrate with them as much as I can.

˘͈ᵕ˘͈

ˋ°࿐3rd Situation:...

ˋ°࿐Possible Thoughts:...

They must not be going through a very good time. Anything that would lead to them not contacting me for the past few days would worry me. I often end up thinking whether or not I should contact first or let them rest more.

ˋ°࿐Common Feelings:...

Worry. I'd start wondering whether they are alright or if they are in need of assistance.

ˋ°࿐Common Behaviors:...

I'd check up on them. If they somehow do not answer my messages for some amount of time, I start contacting our other friends and see if they know about my friend's current situation. If it seems as though they do not want to be spoken to or approached, I will take a few steps back and respect their space until they are ready to speak to me again.

﹒⪩⪨﹒

₊˚ପ4th Situation:...

₊˚ପPossible Thoughts:...

They've gotten comfortable around me. They probably have gotten use to my presence and finds there is no need to worry. Friendships such as these are the most precious relationships of all, and as someone who treasures that kind of dynamic, I'd do my best to keep it.

₊˚ପCommon Feelings:...

I'd feel happy. Although others may look into it as somewhat romantically, I'm not particularly interested in that area. As such, to me closeness is a show of trust displayed by the other person, and I'd do all that I can just to keep that trust safe with me. It's often hard to come by people who are willing to be friends with me (I only have very few) and those who do choose to stay, I keep them close to my heart.

₊˚ପCommon Behaviors:...

Make sure they feel welcome enough to be more open with their feelings. I'd reassure them that I am comfortable with their actions and that they are allowed to be open with their emotions. Comfort is always the centerpiece of friendship, and I always makes sure that my friends are aware of it.

ꕥ

·˚𓆩5th Situation:...

·˚𓆩Possible Thoughts:...

My mother will be displeased. It's not often that I act clumsily, but when I do something always gets destroyed. My mother won't be very happy about the fact that I broke something precious to her, the only things I would be thinking about at his point are the consequences to my mistake.

·˚𓆩Common Feelings:...

Anxiety. I'm well aware that I might be reprimanded for my actions. Often times I'd try to calm myself by detaching myself from the situation and thinking of less fatal situations. Sometimes I sleep through the anxiety and convince myself that it wasn't as bad is it could have been.

·˚𓆩Common Behaviors:...

Take care of it. I'd clean up after the mess, making sure that nothing will harm anyone who passes by. In a way, this action also helps me calm down by convincing myself that I made the situation lesser than I was before. Later, I will apologize to my mother once she finds out about it and accept the consequences, as I admit that it was my fault after all.

. . . . . ╰──╮╭──╯ . . . . .

Thaaaat isss it! Thank you so much for your time and for reading my heart on the keyboard! :>

[garden-of-chrysalis]

{Apple Blossom}

[ENTRY: 1.2 || WEEK 1]

A path to self-discovery starts by knowing our own preferences!

Here we have a set of questions!

I Like...?

Reading

Collecting books

Cats

Fried food

Binge-watching

I Dislike...?

Bitter foods

Unexpected loud noises

Insects

Humidity

My Strengths Are...?

English

Multi-tasking

Supporting people

My Weaknesses Are...?

Improvisation

Leadership

Socialization

Problem-solving

My Career/ Future Goals...?

With the present in mind, my only solid goal is to get into a good college. :)

I Dream...?

Someday in a faraway future, I dream to live in a quiet and peaceful town. Maybe own a bookshop or a cafe. ^.^

Other people Know Me As...?

Sometimes I Feel That I Cannot...?

Relate to others. Sometimes I hear others talk about their life stories or romantic relationships and I find that I struggle to relate to them. It makes me wonder if there's something that's hindering me from connecting to strangers or friends.

I Think Of My Family As...?

Complex, it's hard to understand and oftentimes I can't understand it myself.

Something Unique About Myself Is/Are…?

Nothing. Contrary to what others may believe, I dislike being called unique by my friends and family. I have nothing very special about myself and I'm very ok with that.

If anything, being average makes me feel more like I'm supposed to belong somewhere.

That's it! I hope you read well. Thank you for your time! <3

[garden-of-chrysalis]

``~Dahlia~``

[ENTRY: 1 || WEEK 1]

This week's topic is 'Adolescence', or more simply change! Here I have two photo collages of myself then and now.

Here you can see that as a child I: -liked wearing bright and lively clothes -wore my hair down -I'm seen performing in both photos

Now I: -often wear comfy outfits -like to keep my hair short, as it gave me a sense of myself

~.~

While searching for these pictures, I remembered the many things that had changed with me through-out the years: Like how, back then I had a somewhat confident posture (even though I was a child), I was outgoing and often approached others first. But I was also arrogant and a chronic liar who wanted attention. As a teen I've improved as much as I can on my own. I'm able to complete tasks independently and take care of myself with only little guidance. I'm not as confident as I was as a little kid, but I have a little ladder made from achievements that I am proud of, and that is something that I can be satisfied with.

[garden-of-chrysalis]

Welcome!

This blog was made for the purpose of journaling personal thoughts, emotions, and day to day living.

NAVIGATION:

-Journal Entries are sorted by dates posted in an ascending order (latest will always be on top while the oldest will be at the very bottom) -Tags will be added to better distinguish which week is every journal entry (ex. week1)

-Subtitles will be the entry number (and week number) so that it'd be easier to search up on the blog search bar

ENJOY! <3