louie | writeblr | follows back from blueeyeswhitegridlock
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thinking about how the character im so so attached to literally cannot win. he is too evil for him to win and not ruin the theme. he has to die forever or i rewrite the whole thing.
#op#character: clive morgan#clive's rejected fundamentalism but still sees himself separate and above other humans because of it. he's not going to reevaluate his#superiority complex and that's going to be what keeps him from leaving the cult even as a nonbeliever. neil on the other hand will#realize his love for clive is incompatible with living in the cult and decide they should leave before even discussing it w clive#at which point it becomes p clear clive's staying. but it's too late. he's already decided to leave before he's even fully deconstructed.#(theres a second short story / epilogue that hasnt even been drafted yet#where clive leaves a few years later and finds neil living a peaceful life as a farmer just outside the compound.#he tries to reignite their horrible situationship but neil's a whole different person)#(i think that's the only context where he can 'win'. itd have to be him winning late.)#character: neil schenk
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head butting is kind of romantic like
forcing my face against yours for one explosive violent moment. i am going make us both feel the exact same pain at the exact same intensity. our ears ring in the same key and it lingers even after you've pulled away. if i do this hard enough it might even give us the same kind of permanent damage, and in this feral, blood-in-my-mouth state of rage i hate you so much that it's worth it. i'll do it again, i'll hit you so hard our souls overlap just for a second
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revising your writing is just like "is this weird. is this a weird sentence. is this the weirdest most poorly-worded sentence ever written by anyone" and the sentence in question is "he walked across the room"
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ive been thinking so so much about the soviet dog head experiment and szymborska's poem about it
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it's actually like. so therapeutic to write stories about people who have your exact complexes but who cope with them way worse, if at all. what would happen if i let myself be an aspie supremacist? what if i listened to the fundie christian in the back of my brain?
it's also making it easier to change my own behavior while still putting those feelings in a box for later. i acknowledge that i feel insulted that someone doesn't seem to see my massive pulsing throbbing erect brain, and when i get home i'm going to write a little story where my fucked up guy acts on that. for the moment i will be getting off the bus and clocking in.
giving all my characters gifted kid syndrome in that they're adults who stubbornly base their self worth on arbitrary ideas of intelligence/skill/potential/productivity and it causes problems for them and the people around them
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giving all my characters gifted kid syndrome in that they're adults who stubbornly base their self worth on arbitrary ideas of intelligence/skill/potential/productivity and it causes problems for them and the people around them
#op#writeblr#character: neil schenk#character: clive morgan#the difference between the two is that neil eventually gets over it and clive doubles down
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hi i'm Louie
i write flash fiction and short stories. my focus is on visceral horror, transgressive fiction, political fiction, and character-driven narratives. i also do erotica and sometimes poetry.
this is a side blog.
thank yaw
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