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you know elf food tastes like complete shit

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No Dogs Under Heaven

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yes, percy rose through the ranks of new rome disturbingly fast. no, jason did not do the same at camp half blood. yes, percy's rise to leadership at both camps took about two weeks and was completely unplanned. no, the same cannot be said for jason. his rise was carefully planned and took over a decade. they're both children of the big three, but where percy thrums with raw power, jason is a sword honed by zeus and hera. where percy is a survivor, jason is a weapon. where percy is a cycle breaker, jason can't get out. jason's fatal flaw was temptation to deliberate because he never managed to make his own choices. he was every classic definition of a hero rolled into one, and he never questioned it because his happiness came after the responsibility. jason was never going to ascend as fast as percy because jason was raised on hard work and discipline while percy, an abuse survivor and child of poverty, knew when to fight dirty. where jason was a transplant, percy was an invasive species. jason was always going to die because he was never more than a tool for the gods to throw away when he outlived his usefulness, or when he started to question his place. if someone as locked down as jason can question the system, anyone can. now that luke has put thoughts of overthrow in everyone's heads, zeus has to be very careful because while jason was expendable as his weapon, percy was unexpected in every way. zeus has no plan for him. when percy dies, he will become a martyr, so he can't die, except now everyone knows that percy doesn't want to be a god either. jason had to die, and now percy has to live.

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Stirrup vessel with fellatio scene. Peru, Moche civilization

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E.R. Eddison - A Fish Dinner In Memison, 1968 (Barbara Remington)

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I love the NFL. Did you know they're eating all of the uncrustables?

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no lie this picture is fucking breaking my heart. the teenager who made this way back when really went for the throat with the tagline "where everyone is happy". No "where you can fangirl freely" not even a melodramtic "where the strange and wonderful can meet in peace". Not a single reference to the tumblr culture of the time. Just the most primal, gut wrenching urge of an awkward high school student to long for a place where not only they, but also everyone else can simply be happy. I hope you found your happiness random blogger, wherever you are.

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what in the world

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when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to

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when the blind man shows frankenstein’s creature the pleasures of life he shows him cigarette and music. notice how he doesn’t show him linkedin and email

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*leading the dark souls knight I adopted off the street by the hand into a gas station* so this is sort of like our bonfire. They have a lot of different kinds of estus here

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So apparently King's Cross Station announced they'd be doing nothing for "back to Hogwarts" Day in July and warned Harry Potter fans to not crowd the station, and announced it again a week ago, but nobody saw that so thousands of adult Harry Potter fans crowded a real ass train station real people use to board real trains and counted down for a celebration that never happened.

I highly recommend seeking out videos of it if you're some kind of petty person who thinks watching a large group of ardent adult Harry Potter stans being disappointed is funny (I am, I am that petty)

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Skibidi Toilet doesn't confuse me because like 80% of the artists I was following on Tumblr in the mid 2010s were super into objectheads, so a machinima series about an interstellar war between objectheads and the ideological opposite of objectheads is normal to me.