gaebsblog

[gaebsblog]

[gaebsblog]

[gaebsblog]

did i calluse your hands and sharpen your voice?

were you afraid?

i wish i was never born if it meant you could've lived a better life than that

[gaebsblog]

i forgive you

i forgive all of you

[gaebsblog]

, I am God on and off and on again Show me the path, in life, truth , and love. For mine is the power to shed personhood and ascend I am God holding my creatures in a clenched fist, leaping life throb beat in my hand and die and I am the one who made it die, a soul that circles my head like a halo another life taken another returned to God

Life is a game, which the universe plays with itself. I am done playing as this bundle of flesh. return me

[gaebsblog]

god gave life and he can take it away, i can give life and take it away, I'm God I am God

my womb is a void where everything known and unknown in born and the universe and I will crush it in my hands If I wish

[gaebsblog]

i am God

[gaebsblog]

im afraid. I watch murder shows, and these people, schizophrenics and bipolars, these people look an awful lot like me. I feel terrible for thinking of myself like this, stigmatising this illness even more so, but I'm so fucking afraid. what if i spiral like them? what if thrr e no stopping me? i have already killed animals, i got away with it, and worse of all, i think i might've enjoyed it. I felt bad afterward, but for a moment, it felt good. i felt powerful and strong and in control, it was me who took this creatures life, I had taken something irreplaceable and will never comme back again. why does screaming get me wet? why why why

im afraid that I will snap and kill someone I'm afraid that it won't take much to shove m over th edge I'm afraid of doctors and I'm afraid of man I hate human beings I loathe them with ever fiber of my essence, if hate was scrawled onto all 30 million of my cells, it would not ammoujy to how deeply I feel it i HATE. HATE. hate

i must stay inside, must lock myself up, must keep people safe

[gaebsblog]

hi hi hi please hold me i love you pleeeeeease hold me....

[gaebsblog]

hive mind is scary, i feel vulnerable and stupid

waiting for a new embarrassment to go and tear right through me

a dependent, fruitless animal watch me brimming with shame

[gaebsblog]

maybe i could never be a murderer. not if I'm this easily disturbed watching a man slice his arm up. a man who deserved it. my wrist feels funny

[gaebsblog]

guys this is a vent blog im gonna say some fucked up shit i don't truly mean, ALL of this are intrusive thoughts and do not represent intentions. dont take anything as fact

[gaebsblog]

i don't post enough degenerative shit, rookie numbers i gotta get my game up. if this shit is ever leaked it's so over

[gaebsblog]

. it felt like i was in a bleak bathroom, naked in a bathtub while you sat there, gaze shamefully averted. felt cold, felt lonely, felt vulnerable.

i remember those long hours of silence we spent after what happened

it was a nightmare come true for the both of us, wasn't it? i thought you were a rapist, like every one of my exes, and you thought i was leaving you with nothing you could do about it

i felt bad for moving on so quickly, "the past is no place to live", when your whole world nearly crumbled to ash, the thing you were worrying about ever since we were dating.

but could you blame me?

[gaebsblog]

same mfs that try releasing violent offenders. "free my man he ain't done nothing 🥺" and it's some incel loser like jeffery dahmer

jimcurly shippers i will be laughing when i see you burning in hell 💕 im a petty bitch i hope y'all fuckin die 🖕🖕🖕

[gaebsblog]

i hope y'all find out what happens when you romanticize rapists and abuse 😮‍💨 turn around surprised when you get raped too, fuckin dumbass

[gaebsblog]

jimcurly shippers i will be laughing when i see you burning in hell 💕 im a petty bitch i hope y'all fuckin die 🖕🖕🖕