g-bouchard

[g-bouchard]

What did Alice think of the bracelet?? :D

Honestly? I... still haven't given it to her.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

have you ever taken a 'am i gay' quiz

i am asking in all seriousness

No, I have not. Are those even real, like how could they even be accurate.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

Stressors.

I've felt more jumpy than usual for the past week or so. There's a nervous energy in the office, I'm not sure what it is.

Send me some asks to answer on my break, maybe that will help to take my mind off things for a while.

But please keep them, uh, what is the phrase, mindful? And demure? Some of you have gotten far too comfortable saying whatever you want to me. Remember your manners.

I look forward to answering.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

I’m rooting for you

Thank you... I appreciate it.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

Even if you hate changing things, it's the only way for things to get any better queen!!

Hm. Fine, I guess. I don't know what exactly is 'getting better'... but I need all the betterment I can get. I appreciate the encouragement.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Sigh. Am I a real person to you.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

happy new year Beautiful Princess

Happy New Year. Let's hope it's better than the last.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

Alex again.

I don't know what it was that... compelled me to tell you all that. I didn't intend to, it just kind of spilled out of me and into your askbox. I'm sorry for. Er. "Trauma dumping" or whatever. I felt sick as soon as I sent it. Still do.

You probably don't believe me regardless. Nobody ever does. It feels so very isolating.

Oh. Well. It's... fine.

But... I do believe you. Most people wouldn't believe half of the things I've seen after getting this job.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

I'm the anon you bullied, my name is Alex.

Oh, you're sorry yeah? The way I see it not much has changed Gwend- erm. Sorry. Gwen.

Not much has changed, Gwen, you're still climbing to the top, any means necessary, and the means are always dubious.

I don't know the details, nor do I care to. Whatever the hell an OIAR is you seem to have dominated it, just like you would have back then. Whatever.

Woe is Gwen, in that mansion that could make a dutchess blush. Must have been so. Bloody. Hard for you

I first felt genuine, mortal terror the night year eight ended. I would frequently stay after school for hours after classes had ended to wait with Mabel. Do you remember her? Can you imagine her face? I can't.

Her and I were the only two bursary students in our year. We stuck together. Her mum worked two jobs and wouldn't come to pick her up till 9pm. Hours sitting in the parking lot of our academy, eating the cheapest chicken burger within walking distance next to my best friend. Never quite mattered how small you managed to make me feel, Mabel made me feel like I mattered. Didn't last couldn't last wouldn't last. The night ate her.

So there we were, final day of classes, feeling glukupikron and tired and splurging for a better quality chicken burger. It's 9, then it's 10, then it's 11 and the sun has long since sunk in the sky. Did you ever stay on campus after dark Gwen? Do you know how cold it got, even on summer nights, that far from the city? I had nothing much to go home to, in fact, I had reasons to stay on that stoop. Even were it not for the warmth Mabel made me feel, I had reasons to stay away from home in spades. Whatever drama there could've been at the bloody Bouchard estate? Whatever woe is me politics, whatever "mummy got me the wrong tea set and she doesn't love me!" arse over tit self pity? It buried that a hundred times over I'm sure. Mabel was my light in the dark.

We tried to call mum, considered bussing home. Couldn't, no fare money since we went for combo meals instead of dollar menu.

Have you ever had to ask to skip fare, Gwen? Have you ever had to PAY fare? Needless to say, all the drivers on our circuit knew me, and knew to pass the stop unless I waved a few notes in my hand to prove I could pay.

But that's the thing Gwen. There were no drivers. There was nobody. It was me and Mabel and the night sky and the chill in the air. We made light of the situation. "Alex" she turned to me and said "aren't the stars so pretty tonight?" They were. That's the worst bloody part. They were heartbreakingly beautiful.

I tried to find a constellation. Maybe I just wanted to show off to Mabel, I was such a showoff back then. No Ursa Major. No Ursa minor. No Scorpio, no Heracles. There were stars, but not the... Not the right stars. Each star was a mere pin prick cast against the unending everything of the summer sky. They danced around each other in clockwork patterns determined by gravity and space-time. They were not shooting stars, the sky moved across millennia, or time moved through her and I. It lasted a mere moment, a second of peace for a hundred thousand years. "Mabel, I'm afraid." The sky opened up. "Mabel. What's happening?" I turned her face with my hand on her cheek. They were always so warm, but she was cold as ice. We met eyes, but instead of the kind eyes I'd come to know there was a pair of starry night skies staring back at me. "I'll-". She never finished. No clue what she was going to say on account of the toothed grin of the sky above, descending, Mabel resisting as I tried to pull her with me while stammering back. The sky clamping down, and everything being thrust back to reality.

The police sat me down for hours. Some might've thought I killed her honestly. Little dyke girl and her straight best friend, the story writes itself. Nothing conclusive, though her mother never spoke to me again. What could I even say to her? I haven't gone outside at night ever since. Every time I try, I see the sky as it was in her teary eyes.

What... What the hell was that?

Don't. Don't you dare compare our situations. I had no idea what you were going through. And you have no idea what I went through either. I'm not going to sit here and compare and contrast and tally up pity points, but I'm not going to listen to you berate me for things I had no control over.

I'm sorry for your loss, I really am. That sounds... terrifying. I wish I had answers for you. But I don't. I didn't even know any of that happened. I transferred schools again after the end of year eight.

...But I don't know. I don't know what that could have been. Through all my work, I have yet to come across anything about someone being taken by the sky.

...I'm sure... I'm sure you miss her a lot. I'm sorry.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

You bullied me in grade school! Wild to find you on the gay people website, who would've thought little Gwendolyn would be "one of us".

I— oh.

First of all, it's Gwen. I go by Gwen now.

Second, I... honestly don't remember much of grade school. If I was cruel— I'm sorry. I suppose I learned from the best. I wish I remembered more so I could... better apologize.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

did you give alice the bracelet?? if so, what did she think? c:

I'm, uh. I'll give it to her soon. I... forgot to bring it to work. Hm... silly me.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

Are you from Rock City or paper city?

Don't tell me this is more innuendos...

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

why do you always put yourself down? i dont mean this as an insult or anything, just curious

(for the record i think you're very cool!!!)

I... I don't know. I can't say I really realize when I am. It just happens. I don't feel like I'm doing it intentionally or anything. I suppose I just don't know many nice things to say.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

I think your pleasant

That's good of you to say, though I can't imagine how.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

Maybe People Say That Because You Force Yourself To Act Like A Stuck Up Bitch Because That's All You've Known And Because You're Afraid That If People Find Out How You Truly Are They Will Mock You And Hate You.

You Aren't Only Afraid Of Failure, You Are Afraid Of Rejection.

That's Why You Try To Be In Denial :o))

I am not forcing myself to—

You know what. Sure. Whatever. Believe whatever you want. Make your assumptions, I'm used to it.

I don't know what you get out of it, though.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

Girl You Cannot Hide From Us. You Yourself Have Said You Only Dated A Man Once For A Very Short Period Of Time Because He Was Repulsive And YOU. YOU. DIDN'T LIKE HIM.

Now! Compare That To How You Feel About Women, What Do You Think When You Look At A Girl?

The Answer Is Very Obvious When You Compare Those Two Experiences.

I am not hiding from anyone. It's not like that. You don't know anything about me. You don't know how it feels to—

Nevermind. You know, I don't know why it's so important anyways. I'm not made for a romantic lifestyle. People love to make it clear that I'm not a very pleasant person to be around. So it doesn't even matter.

How's that for an answer.

-Gwen B.

[g-bouchard]

What I Meant When I Asked If You Were From Scissor City Was:

ARE YOU A LESBIAN YES OR NO???

Oh, please. I should have known.

-Gwen B.