fuzzyathena

[fuzzyathena]

à la fille que j'ai rencontrée à la fin de la route

To the stars that twinkle in the sky, to the moon that lights up the darkness of the night, and to the sun that lays its ray to warm up the day, to the wind that touches an ardors face and to the toughest road that my eyes have ever seen, there was this girl, standing at the edge looking not so fine, uttering the words of sorrow, wishing that the stars may quench the thirst of her broken heart; And so the sun and moon dispersed the power it held for someone to see this girl who has been standing there.

She was soft, she was so vulnerable and fragile. Her eyes are the stars; with the force of catching up your heart, her lips had the power to make your world to stop, her tears can make your night so inclemently dim, her eyebrows can make your eyes to wink and so her dazzling smile reveals, she is not just a star but she is the galaxy.

She was the girl I met at the end of the road, of unexpected time, in unexpected journey. She was the girl I met at the end of that road that captured the whole side of me. She shines in the dark, she scattered her wings in the night. She set the fire into my bonfire and crossed the beams into my eyes. I met her, talk to her and touch her, she was so perfectly beautiful into my eyes, I was stunned, I was zipped, I was out of words, because of all she was so magical. The heart begins to pound so fast when she began to lay her words, the grit began to melt when she started to move. She was so strong, she was so brave, and she was a total lit; and so I met her in a blissful time.

One day, she moved. She walk on the mid of the road. She is struggling in two different ways. She was puzzled where to go. I was so sad when we parted ways, because I chose to stay on that road, into our road but she chose to walk on the other side of it. The road seems dark when she went out with no goodbyes, no stars, no moon, no wind, just a piece of perfect darkness.

One night there was a little piece of light at the end, I walked to see it, and I saw the same girl standing at the edge again, she is back, she came back. The light, the spark, the fire were all set again. Surreal! Surreal! The magic returned. This time, we will not walk in different way, we will walk together in the same phase, the same pavement, and the same edge. The stars would not stop to blink, the moon would not hide its light and the sun would warm the way again. You would be so far by now, you would be walking to way out, but at the end of the day I promise, the road will rise up to meet you, the wind blows will warm to touch up your face, the rain will guide you to walk through, and the signs will bring you to the same road, to the road where we meet the first time, so soon, for not so long we will meet again, we will meet to our road, we will meet at the end of the road again.

 You were once a lost star in the longest road, but I saw you my galaxy, and this is to the girl I met at the end of the road.

[fuzzyathena]

à la fille que j'ai rencontrée à la fin de la route

To the stars that twinkle in the sky, to the moon that lights up the darkness of the night, and to the sun that lays its ray to warm up the day, to the wind that touches an ardors face and to the toughest road that my eyes have ever seen, there was this girl, standing at the edge looking not so fine, uttering the words of sorrow, wishing that the stars may quench the thirst of her broken heart; And so the sun and moon dispersed the power it held for someone to see this girl who has been standing there.

She was soft, she was so vulnerable and fragile. Her eyes are the stars; with the force of catching up your heart, her lips had the power to make your world to stop, her tears can make your night so inclemently dim, her eyebrows can make your eyes to wink and so her dazzling smile reveals, she is not just a star but she is the galaxy.

She was the girl I met at the end of the road, of unexpected time, in unexpected journey. She was the girl I met at the end of that road that captured the whole side of me. She shines in the dark, she scattered her wings in the night. She set the fire into my bonfire and crossed the beams into my eyes. I met her, talk to her and touch her, she was so perfectly beautiful into my eyes, I was stunned, I was zipped, I was out of words, because of all she was so magical. The heart begins to pound so fast when she began to lay her words, the grit began to melt when she started to move. She was so strong, she was so brave, and she was a total lit; and so I met her in a blissful time.

One day, she moved. She walk on the mid of the road. She is struggling in two different ways. She was puzzled where to go. I was so sad when we parted ways, because I chose to stay on that road, into our road but she chose to walk on the other side of it. The road seems dark when she went out with no goodbyes, no stars, no moon, no wind, just a piece of perfect darkness.

One night there was a little piece of light at the end, I walked to see it, and I saw the same girl standing at the edge again, she is back, she came back. The light, the spark, the fire were all set again. Surreal! Surreal! The magic returned. This time, we will not walk in different way, we will walk together in the same phase, the same pavement, and the same edge. The stars would not stop to blink, the moon would not hide its light and the sun would warm the way again. You would be so far by now, you would be walking to way out, but at the end of the day I promise, the road will rise up to meet you, the wind blows will warm to touch up your face, the rain will guide you to walk through, and the signs will bring you to the same road, to the road where we meet the first time, so soon, for not so long we will meet again, we will meet to our road, we will meet at the end of the road again.

 You were once a lost star in the longest road, but I saw you my galaxy, and this is to the girl I met at the end of the road.

[fuzzyathena]

lafille que j'ai rencontrée à la fin de la route To the stars that twinkle in the sky, to themoon that lights up the darkness of the night, and to the sun that lays its rayto warm up the day, to the wind that touches an ardors face and to the toughestroad that my eyes have ever seen, there was this girl, standing at the edgelooking not so fine, uttering the words of sorrow, wishing that the stars mayquench the thirst of her broken heart; And so the sun and moon dispersed the power it held for someone to see this girl who has been standing there. She was soft, she was so vulnerableand fragile. Her eyes are the stars; with the force of catching up your heart,her lips had the power to make your world to stop, her tears can make yournight so inclemently dim, her eyebrows can make your eyes to wink and so herdazzling smile reveals, she is not just a star but she is the galaxy. She was the girl I met at the end of the road, of unexpected time, in unexpected journey. She was the girl I metat the end of that road that captured the whole side of me. She shines in thedark, she scattered her wings in the night. She set the fire into my bonfireand crossed the beams into my eyes. I met her, talk to her and touch her, shewas so perfectly beautiful into my eyes, I was stunned, I was zipped, I was outof words, because of all she was so magical. The heart begins to pound so fastwhen she began to lay her words, the grit began to melt when she started to move. She was so strong, she was so brave, and she was a total lit; and so I met her in a blissful time. One day, she moved. She walk on the mid of the road. She is struggling in two different ways. She was puzzled where to go. I was so sad when we parted ways, because I chose to stay on that road,into our road but she chose to walk on the other side of it. The road seems dark when she went out with no goodbyes, no stars, no moon, no wind, just apiece of perfect darkness. One night there was a little piece of light at the end, I walked to see it, and I saw the same girl standing atthe edge again, she is back, she came back. The light, the sparks, the firewere all set again. Surreal! Surreal! The magic returned. This time, we willnot walk in different ways, we will walk together in the same phase, the samepavements, and the same edge. The stars would not stop to blink, the moon wouldnot hide its light and the sun would warm the way again. You would be so far by now, you would be walking to way out, but at the end of the day I promise, theroad will rise up to meet you, the wind blows will warm to touch up your face,the rain will guide you to walk through, and the signs will bring you to thesame road, to the road where we meet the first time, so soon, for not so long we will meet again, we will meet to our road, we will meet at the end of theroad again. You were once a lost star in thelongest road, but I saw you as my galaxy, and this is to the girl I met at the endof the road.

[fuzzyathena]

09.15.17

I maybe drunk while writing this baba pero alam mo mas maganda na nga to kasi walang filter lahat ng sasabihin ko. For sure I will spill everything I want to say na walang filter. Baba alam mong sobra kitang love as in lahat na ng sobra on Earth ganon kita ka love. If you ask me why I love you that much wala akong masasabing reason because I just felt it na ganon and I really can't explain why. I'm scared of losing you, I know I have said this to you na for a couple of times pero until now sasabihin ko parin sayo na natatakot ako na mawala ka sa buhay ko and it sucks the way I think of that kasi ayaw ko, kasi hindi ko kaya and hindi ko talaga kaya. You have been part of my life sobrang laki ng changes na nagawa mo since the day you came. Baba alam ko paulit ulit mo nang sinasabi sakin na i let go kita pero I stick of holding on to you. Kasi bakit kita i lelet go kung alam kong mas masasaktan ako sa bagay na yon? Why don't we just live with the moment? Masaya naman tayo pag tayo yung magkasama eh. I admit it is fucking magical whenever I am with you, and it seems everything is perfect. Yes it hurts when sometimes you are cold because you are too occupied of your problems pero it hurts me the most when you are telling me to let you go. Baba i lelet go ko na lahat wag lang ikaw, I can't see anything to do that. Kasi ako I just want to see you happy and loved in my arms. Kaya everytime na magkasama tayo, ginagawa ko talaga yung alam kong dapat kong gawin and of course those things na makapag papagaan ng loob mo kasi ayaw kong nakikita kang nasasaktan eh. You keep on telling me na love mo ako and you said pa nga na "I love you forever" and you want to hold me on pero hindi mo kaya. Baba kaya mo naman eh kasi gusto mo. You are just afraid to try kasi baka maulit yung dati pero baba iba naman ako sakanya eh. I was never been unsure about you because before I started this I already cleared it up into my mind and I am a hundred percent sure about you. Baba hindi ko alam kung bakit sobra kitang mahal I only knew is gagawin ko talaga lahat to show it you, ayaw ko mag regret kasi you are worth fighting for naman and you are worth loving. Paulit ulit ko na sayong sinasabi yan baba and that's the truth. Hindi parin ako mag lelet go because that's not what it seems to be. Deserve mo naman ako baba eh. I'll stay with you even how many storms tried to tear us apart. I will still hold you tight. Can you please give it a try? Hold me even at once and I will show you how great this life would be. Wag mokong isipin about your problems baba kasi naiintindihan ko yang part na yan eh alam ko ayaw mo akong ma involve pero you know what? I will make things lighter to you. I wont get tired to cheer you up, to make you laugh, and to make your day different.Kung kaya ko nga lang burahin lahat ng problems and gumugulo sa isip mo gagawin ko eh. Mahirap sa ngayon na ang cold tapos malayo ka pa but its not a reason for me to let you go. I love you so much to do that baba and hindi ko hahayaan na ma loose nalang kita without doing anything. Sana naiintindihan mo ako. I wont give up that easily mahal mo naman ako diba? You will always be and forever be my baba. Baby, alam kong mahirap for you kasi you have a lot of problems right now, pero sana try to take the risk, it will be worth it I swear. Pero kung ano man yung maging decision mo I will understand and accept it wholeheartedly and of course I will respect it. And kahit anong mangyari I wont leave you parin. I will be always here for you no matter what it takes and you know what, our situation makes me even more challenged. The more difficult the days went, the more it gives me the reason to love you more everyday. I will always give you a tightest hugs especially back hugs and warm kisses. Keep in your mind baba na pag lingon mo palagi akong nandon para sayo hindi ako lilisan kasi mahal na mahal kita. And it is real that I love you more than just to the moon, infinity and back. Kaya kung iniisip mo na mag sasawa ako or mapapagod to you I won't and I will never.

[fuzzyathena]

09.14.17

Baba hindi ko alam kung anong meron pero bakit ganon parin? Ang cold cold mo parin. I know ang dry nang replies ko kanina, its just that sobrang miss na kasi talaga kita 😭 and hindi ko ma control yung self ko. Makita ko lang yung pucture mo Gaaahddd umiiyak na ako, and I am trying to control it kaya siguro ganon yung dating. Pero baba hindi naman ako talaga cold eh. Pero hindi nanaman maganda yung mood mo, sabi mo nga siguro dahil pagod ka lang. Yup it had been a long journey for you and naiintindihan ko kung ayaw mo muna ng kausap. And you said nga na you need this time to think muna. Baba I want you to know na kahit anong mangyari mahal na mahal parin kita. Kahit ilang beses mo pa ako sungitan. Diba nga I will never get tired of you? Hindi talaga as in. And na konsensya ako nung sinabi mo na "ngayon na nga lang kita makakausap ganito pa" I'm really sorry my baba hindi ko naman intention talaga. If I could only hug you right now ginawa ko na sobrang miss ko lang ikaw talaga promise to the point na babaliw na ako kasi ang cold mo parin pero I wont withhold this time for you kasi alam ko you need this. I just want you to keep in mind na no matter how a bad day it was for you I love you parin and hindi magbabago yon

[fuzzyathena]

09.13.17

Hi baba, it's really hard to see you leaving tho 😭 sobrang naiiyak na ako while saying goodbye to you. Pero I really tried my best to control it infront of you kasi sabi mo nga ayaw mo akong nakikitang umiiyak kasi nasasaktan ka. Pero I'm sorry I failed not to cry kasi while inside the car iyak na ako ng iyak. Wala lang it's really sad knowing you'll be a miles away to me for like 2 weeks 😭 pero I will be patient. Alam ko naman na babalik ikaw. Hindi ka pa nakakaalis na mimiss na kita ng sobra what more pa kaya yung totoong umalis kana diba? And this is the day. This is the day that I miss you everyday like the sun misses the stars in the morning skies exists. Honestly, sobrang sad ko today because I'm trying to be sweet to you before you leave so it won't be a sad memory for you pag nasa flight kana, pero it feels like you are ignoring me, hindi mo ako pinapansin even you are not hugging me. Hindi ko maintindihan why to all of us sakin ka lang ganon pero I am trying to understand. Baka nga siguro hindi lang maganda yung mood mo sakin kaya ganon. Pero don't worry baba still, naiintindihan ko. There are days naman talaga na ayaw natin makipag usap or moody so I understand. Hay it sucks to see you leaving tho 😭 pero alam ko babalik ka and I am waiting for you to come home so soon. I love you baba alam mo naman yon eh I love you more than anything else sa buhay ko at palagi kitang pipiliin.

[fuzzyathena]

02.18.17

It is our 3rd movie date together. Its not a good weather today because we came out raining to made this day just happened. Yas we together enjoyed fifty shades darker that it definitely made us juat say “oh” after the movie. Like when we use to when we were in gb we ate at red mango bc thats your favorite. After the movie we spent the remaining time for a tour in art fair where I met two of your hs friends. You really got enjoyed there, those arts really made you smile and got your attention. Though it was tiring to roam around the exhibit floors, but still its a kind of a wonderful memory another adventure to our bucketlist. Hehe we ate at sbarro as my request hay babe, I am really thankful for everything, especially thankful for having you. I love you always babe

[fuzzyathena]

[fuzzyathena]

[fuzzyathena]

Letters

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[fuzzyathena]

[fuzzyathena]

Hearts, sunflowers/flowers, ribbon, stars, circles

[fuzzyathena]

Random

I do not know how would I describe this feeling or should I say emotions I have today and the previous days. I have been in so much things the past few days that thrown me out of the blue, lowkey and so unproductive to communicate with my friends. I maybe stressed out, it can be. I just have the thoughts of different things coming and flying in my mind right now, since I started my RLE well, I think this is the challenge of having different worlds within you and your squad. It is a matter of time conflict. 

I just want to be with my friends, because I feel like I am being out of the get together that I am always being present before I have had my duty. I hate this feeling of mine that I really want to come with them but I just can’t because I still have my school priorities while they are enjoying their semestral break. I just feel I am neglected and non-worth, or maybe I am just overthinking things because I am stressed and tired. It’s like they do such things without me while me when we planned something and one is not there or isn’t able to come I am being very considerate to set plans for the other day so everyone will come. Anyway, it is just being unfair or the right term to use is I feel it is unfair to my part. They were chatting at the group chat saying how are you, take care and enjoy guys to our friends but to ask me if I am okay, no one have the guts to do that and it is very disappointing. I am not expecting something more but it just that I feel no one cares while me I am giving all myself, wholly as I can when they need motivation, determination, strength and so on and so forth. It is just i feel that no one is being there when I need one of them, or all of them. But I love them but it feels like no one loves me back from what I am giving them. It is unhealthy to doubt what they seem to have and really have to me but that ‘s what I am feeling right  now that no matter how I tried to lift up our relationship, no one would take the effort to give back. Wala e, I just feel alone. I think I would just have to relax and freshen up my mind because I am hoping that what I am feeling is not true and just a feeling from stress. I still do not want to wake up one day without them and having a life without them.