funstuffwithjordanuniverse

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normally it's frustrating when mystery games hand you answers on a silver plate but in ace attorney, the witnesses' tendencies to conveniently say far more than what they were asked for is so hilarious that it becomes its own reward. ace attorney witnesses will be asked what time they saw the murder and they'll say it was 10:40 and they know it was exactly that time because that's the exact minute they open the can of Fancy Feast to feed their elderly russian blue cat, father of 12 kittens and phoenix will be like umm actually i spoke to your cat and here's a written affidavit from him that there was a recall on Fancy Feast and also he's never been to russia nor known the touch of a woman. you're going to jail buddy

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HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

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‎ ‎‎ ‎‎a bug ↘

‎ .

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happily found this near where I am

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hi if ur unaware georgia 🇬🇪 (where i live) has officially banned gay marriage, gay ‘propaganda’, gender reassignment surgery and anything ’promoting’ it. a trans model, kesaria abramidze, has been murdered as a direct consequence of this legislation. if you have a queer georgian in your life pls let them know they are loved and let this solidify why we Need pride and hope cause jesus fuck man

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Skitty

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The SS Warrimoo, a passenger steamship traveling from Vancouver to Australia, was silently knifing its way across the mid-Pacific waters. The navigator had just finished calculating a star fix and handed the results to Captain John DS. Phillips.

The Warrimoo's coordinates were LAT 0º 31' N, LONG 179 30' W. The date was December 31, 1899. "Know what this means?" First Mate Payton announced, "We're only a few miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date Line."

Captain Phillips was prankish enough to seize the opportunity to do the nautical feat of a lifetime. He summoned his navigators to the bridge to double-check the ship's position. He altered his course slightly to focus directly on his target. He then altered the engine's speed.

The calm weather and clear night worked to his advantage. At midnight, the SS Warrimoo rested on the Equator, exactly where it had crossed the International Date Line. The ramifications of this odd arrangement were numerous.

The ship's bow was in the Southern Hemisphere, in the middle of summer. The stern was in the Northern Hemisphere, in the midst of winter. The date on the aft portion of the ship was December 31, 1899. The date on the forward half of the ship was January 1, 1900. The ship experienced multiple days, months, years, seasons, and centuries simultaneously.

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Can you say something about fat people that doesn’t involve the phrase “tummy squish” or any variants thereof. Quickly

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one of the funniest things I see people say about "standard english" btw is californians who are like "yeah basically all american english speakers speak the same way so it makes sense to call that 'standard american english'" because you know they only perceive it that way because californian english has like every single vowel merger simultaneously so they can't tell the difference between other american english varieties. they're fish who don't know they're wet

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There's an etiquette to typo roasting. Like if they type "on" instead of "in" you overlook that. That's some autocorrect bs. But if they type "pebis" or some shit that's when you gotta get his ass

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I really appreciate how the sociolinguistics of compounds mean that we have one suffix -vore, -vory meaning "to eat", and another suffix -phage, -phagy meaning "to eat (fucked up)"

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i think it's fucked up that there are plants that decided they wanted to eat meat

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I can't explain how much I love baguette child. I would protect them with my life.