funsizepunkelf

[funsizepunkelf]

Pros of being the youngest in your extended families

Oblivious to family drama for the longest time

Get the grandparents to yourself

Youngest privileges Extended Edition

Cons of being the youngest in your extended families

Everyone gets tired of you being a kid pretty fast so they ignore you during your adolescent bc they've already moved on the the all-adult stage of extended family

Grandparents die and you had less time with them than anyone at least in a meaningful capacity

In the same vein you are LAST in line for your dead grandma's antiques.

Still don't know the family drama

[funsizepunkelf]

being a youngest child is looking for a singular picture of me and my mom anytime before i was like ten and finding out that every single one of my siblings have dedicated boxes and photo albums of pictures of them and i don’t have a single box <3

[funsizepunkelf]

Being the youngest is your family slowly drifting apart and no one but you has a problem with it.

[funsizepunkelf]

"younger siblings of course have it easy!" "you'll never understand what it feels like to be the oldest sister" of course I don't understand. because being the younger sister meant i worshipped my elder sister as a baby until one day she decided she was too old for me, going from my best friend to someone who wanted nothing to do with me. of course I don't understand the stress of being a responsible child, because when my sister dealt with it, she physically harassed me in ways so creatively cruel. of course i don't understand dealing with pressure to be a perfect example for others, because instead my sister ruined her life in every way possible, ran after every vice and addiction, piling up double the expectations for an extraordinary child onto the younger one. while the elder sister smoked and wasted money on clothes and drinks and boys, as if our dad didn't work 19 hours a day for it, i was the one who studied as much as i could, aimed for as high as possible, and showed up for my parents when they needed me. and despite forgiving her time and again for being the disappointment that she is, the elder sister is stubborn of course- a defining characteristic- she will never agree to change. she cared so much about the younger one, of course she would do anything to ruin my life out of jealousy and spite. of course the elder one protects the younger, that's why she's attacked me in every way possible my whole life. of course the elder one loves to treat the younger, that's why she has made continuous attempts to ruin my life.

istg, if one more older sister tells me i dont understand, even though i never said i did, then i'll scream. because you will never understand the trauma of the younger one. you selfish, self-hating, pitiful women. don't blame your shortcomings, your lack of hard work and empathy for our parents, on us younger ones. all your pain of being "the oldest sister" would've been yours to claim if you hadn't passed it on to the youngers.

[funsizepunkelf]

crazy how my childhood looked like this

and also like this

[funsizepunkelf]

I'm not ready to only make pasta for two, or one, if I don't have to leave any for you.

I'm not ready to not call you and ask if you're home or when you'll be.

I'm not ready to empty the dishwasher alone or to split our chores, you doing the ones that get me bored.

This isn't how I pictured you leaving me, cause I've always thought you would go to live somewhere else before me, but I'm not getting a proper goodbye and I'm afraid that you won't call cause you never do, and maybe you won't feel the need to hear from me or share stories and maybe you won't tell me that you got engaged like you didn't tell me that you were going away.

I can only hope that you'll see a cool rock and think of me, maybe you'll send me a picture, maybe you'll need me, maybe you'll pretend to not know something just to call me.

I know you won't, it's okay, but one can hope.

[funsizepunkelf]

Being the youngest means you ran back to your room crying when no one wanted to play with you as a kid, then playing one person tic-tac-toe over and over to feel like you weren’t alone.

[funsizepunkelf]

I grew up using the hand me downs of hand me downs, my pants always fell down a bit and my shirts always stopped before my wrist. Everything I owned was someone else's first and if they wanted it back they had it, so when I let you borrow my shirt I expect to never see it again, and when I yell at you for using my two dollar pencil sharpener know that I believe once it becomes dull I'll have to wait another year to get a new one, I don't want to be mean but I grew up sleeping on the floor.

[funsizepunkelf]

the house has been empty for a while now. the halls echo with the ever present silence encompassing every corner. everything’s different now.

i am maddeningly alone.

[funsizepunkelf]

Being the youngest is a silent burden. I’m told that I’m spoiled, and when I was a small child, I was. But as I grew I realised that my parents were tired, by the time my older siblings grew and left, my parents felt that they had nothing left to do even though I was still right there in the nest.

My siblings seem so set in life, and here I am feeling like I wasn’t given my owners manual for adulthood. I have no life skills because I was never taught, by that point my parents had taught them so many times that they didn’t want to teach them again. There are things that my parents say ‘I need to know how to do’ yet they never teach me.

I ring them up for help and they tell me to call my older sibling that never answers phone calls and doesn’t respond to texts.

I’m not a doctor or a tech developer or a successful contractor or an artist or a mother. I’m a person with no purpose that does everything to get an ounce of validation. A disappointment that tries to hide their failures that lead into uncontrollable white lies, all to avoid the raised voices.

I’m the youngest not because I’m the perfect child or the miracle baby. I just happened to be the last reproduction decision that my parents ever made.

[funsizepunkelf]

Being the youngest is having everyone go to my sisters graduation. But having just my parents at mine

[funsizepunkelf]

The Burnt-Out Youngest Daughter

I am the angry youngest, the least of your lot,

A shadow in the corner, the daughter you forgot.

The unlovable echo, your backup plan,

A placeholder friend when no one else can.

Oversensitive? Call it what you will,

I’ve swallowed your words, and I’m choking still.

A mirrorball, spinning, reflecting your needs,

Shattered in silence while your ego feeds.

The forgotten birthday, the name left unsaid,

The child you need only when you’re in dread.

I am the backburner, the ember that glows,

The burnt-out daughter nobody knows.

Yet I am the crutch when you start to fall,

The one who answers to every call.

Your least favorite child, but your constant shield,

The one you abandon, yet refuse to yield.

So let me burn, let the ashes rise,

The anger I carry will crack the skies.

I’ll rebuild myself from this ruin you made,

The daughter who stayed, but never obeyed.

-Gauri

[funsizepunkelf]

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

[funsizepunkelf]

Care for a drink?

[funsizepunkelf]

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

[funsizepunkelf]

had a dream last night where I took a uquiz called “what do you serve?” and at first the questions were standard but as the quiz progressed they became more and more highly specific to me personally and the answers became more and more similar and I realised the quiz Knew me and was forcing me into being honest by giving me no other option so I tried to click out but it just went to the next question which was “are you the spider? or are you the web?” and it had an option for each but I didn’t click either so it then turned to a text box and I typed “I think I’m the fly” and the quiz paused for a while and then took me to a results page that said “you serve truth” and the description just read “what you know will kill you but you will die laughing” so like. good morning everyone I guess :/

[funsizepunkelf]

mushroom chat just dropped