funeralprocession
funeralprocession
Let's Love ♡
408 posts
♡♡ Oumaeda Funeral Parlor - Home of an incredibly rare ship, send help ♡♡ (he/him; not a minor)
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
funeralprocession · 20 hours ago
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funeralprocession · 23 hours ago
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source (spoilers and nsfw in source!)
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funeralprocession · 23 hours ago
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Drew these for fun because middle school me always wanted to make a talrnt swap au idk if ill make more lore
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funeralprocession · 23 hours ago
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oh yeah right here it is, whatever enjoy
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funeralprocession · 23 hours ago
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Kokichi as your homecook husband
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funeralprocession · 2 days ago
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man the fact u have to type a tag in on a wholeass separate thing to block it is fucken annoying i cant spell for shit
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kept getting this fucken dumbass religious shit & in order to block it (& ig anything else that had this precise like... specifically "prob only gonna be on religious shit" word)
ANYWAYYY w/e the fuck i just said ROFLLLLLLLLLLLL
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long story short i have adhd memory & had to figure out how to spell "doodooronomy" ??? just to fucken tag block HELLOOOO they should just let u block that shit from the tag page so i dont have to try to memorize it LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO
soz abt hollering at u man i spammed pret hard earlier (u prob noticed) n i just wanted to yell abt it this place is stale as fuck i swear (not funeralprocession i mean like generally speaking... ykwim <////3
XD!! Oh my god, I had to try to memorize so many fucking niche fandom things? Things I've never heard of before, have no interest in ever seeing again in my life? Had to try to commit it to memory to tagblock in the app while I'm getting defeated by asskicker depression at all times... Having a way to tagblock from the tag page would be incredibly fucking nice for people with memory issues, absolutely agreed.
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(Speaking of depression-fueled memory rot XD! I had a whole thing typed up down here, and when I went to add a tag to the post, my tablet lagged, the tag replaced all the text I had written and I have absolutely no idea what I had written here XD! Shite! It was something about how I had to try to memorize just the most random shit I've never even heard of, people writing invasive fics about real people I have no idea where they spawned from? And the only way to get that stuff to stop mobbing me is tagblocking. I need to use my fyp occasionally, and have no interest in people's fics about getting assaulted by the Fromage twins or something, oh my god. I can't even remember any of the people's names, but my tagblocks are full of micro-celebrities people were hornyposting about and it would just not go away for like, days.)
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funeralprocession · 2 days ago
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one of the things I dislike about AI is how it also makes people suspect/question real artists/real writers if their works are AI generated.
it’s so discouraging for real artists and real writers to hear someone ask or suspect if a work they spent months (or years) working on, putting so much love and dedication into, are AI generated, done by soulless robots in less than one minute.
(it’s just as discouraging even if they didn’t spend months working on their works, because it is still something they created out of love and passion.)
if a real human-made art looks AI to you, that’s because AI was trained on human-made art and programmed to mimic human-made art.
if a real human-made fic reads like AI to you, that’s because AI was trained on human-made fics and programmed to mimic human-made fics.
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funeralprocession · 2 days ago
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狛枝と小吉の凝視👀
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funeralprocession · 2 days ago
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Behind the mask
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funeralprocession · 2 days ago
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・゜゜・.🖋️
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funeralprocession · 3 days ago
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#19; another one for @glitteringcoffin (it's mostly Keech & Fuyu squabbling with each other; Not explicit, not fluff, not anything XD!! It's just basically an ending for the last one, I guess.) [3/3]
[ #1 ] [ < #18 ] (word count: 1236)
Fuyuhiko trudged along with his hands stuffed into his pockets… He hated being wrong, he especially hated having to admit it out loud, but he was honourable. He tried to be honourable, anyway. Sometimes his temper got away from him and the ensuing tantrum was far from honourable, but whatever…
Arriving at Nagito's door, he paused for a moment. It was humiliating but he was definitely wrong. He'd made a huge production out of turning down Nagito's offer to help him. He was sure it was a mistake, but his manager was within earshot and gladly accepted Nagito's offer to cover for Fuyuhiko - after conveying that Nagito's performance would reflect on Fuyuhiko, of course. If Nagito screwed around or misbehaved, Fuyuhiko would receive some type of reprimand as a result. "He's your friend!" The manager had insisted. "This guy is not my friend!" He argued back, feeling his temper rising but knowing he could not pick a fight with that particular individual. "It's ok, I'm not doing anything important right now," Nagito smiled pleasantly in a way that always gave Fuyuhiko the creeps.
Something about him was incredibly unsettling. He was like a walk through the most impossibly-dark woods you'd ever come across, but the darkness wasn't the problem - the total lack of wildlife noise within it was. There was something unnatural and… Scary, about him. Fuyuhiko could not stand the fact Nagito scared him so much and he definitely didn't want to be indebted to him, but he didn't have a choice. The restaurant was overly-busy and Fuyuhiko could not stay for his shift-- personal reasons.
Figuring he'd lingered long enough and not wishing to be seen standing outside Nagito's room (of all places), Fuyuhiko drew his fist back and knocked squarely on the door a couple of times. He hoped no one else had heard it and assumed the knock was for them - he couldn't stand the thought of someone seeing him--
The door swung open suddenly. "Hiya!" "W-what the fuck are you doing in Nagito's room?" Fuyuhiko demanded after stumbling back a bit, slightly startled. "What's it to you, babyface? What do you want?" "Where's Nagito, dumbass!" Fuyuhiko demanded, "I need to talk to him." "Hmm?" Kokichi casually inspected his nails, leaning a shoulder against the doorframe, "What do you want with my servant? You gonna confess feelings for him or something? Loser." "LOSER?" Fuyuhiko shouted, "Look who's talking!" "WhatEVER," Kokichi groaned loudly, slumping his shoulders, "You're so annoying! What do you WANT, Kuzuryu?" "Get Nagito. And YOU get out of my sight," Fuyuhiko commanded sternly, realizing in an instant that if he and Kokichi argued too loudly, people might start looking-- "He's busy. He's in the shower." "If he's in the shower, why the fuck are you in his room? Go to your own room, dipshit!" "You can't tell me what to do, baby-gangster," Kokichi grinned and folded his arms over his chest, "You don't have any control over me~" "If I had control over you, I would kill myself," Fuyuhiko asserted, resisting the strong urge to shove Kokichi back into the room and slam the door in his face - he would have been wrong for it, but it would have been incredibly satisfying.
"What's going on?" A voice from deeper inside the room asked before Nagito appeared behind Kokichi, "Oh. Hi, Fuyuhiko." "I wanted to thank you," Fuyuhiko stated in a tone that conveyed barely-contained hostility, "And say I'm sorry for… That shit I said earlier. You did not fuck everything up. I was wrong. I apologize." "Aww, personal growth! Are you gonna write in your diary about your big accomplishment today~?" Kokichi chirped just before bursting out into malicious cackling. "It was no trouble," Nagito responded, ignoring Kokichi's comments. "No, it was. I was wrong, but I also called over there to see how-- if you were fucking up. They said you were doing the deliveries just fine, but you seemed too tired to be doing it. They wanted me to come in to relieve you, but… I was being an asshole. I wanted you to prove me right and fuck up, but you didn't. I'm sorry."
"Ah, I just had an off day," Nagito shrugged after a momentary hesitation, "I appreciate you coming over here to apologize; you really didn't have to do that." "Not gonna make any shitty comments?" Fuyuhiko demanded, looking pointedly at Kokichi. "Hmm? Nah," Kokichi was pretending to inspect his nails casually again, "This is between you and Nagito."
Fuyuhiko blinked, seeming taken aback. He had no idea what to do with that information, whether it was obscuring something--
"Now if you're done, feel free to leave at any time," Kokichi waved a dismissive hand. "I'll walk you to your room," Fuyuhiko indicated the walkway behind himself, "Nagito probably needs to get away from your ass for a while, I'm sure YOU were the reason he was so tired earlier." Kokichi immediately burst out into nefarious cackling, unnerving Fuyuhiko at once. "Sorry," Kokichi blotted at his eye, pretending to wipe away a tear, "The thought of spending time with you was just--" Kokichi instantly erupted into another wave of exaggerated, obnoxious laughter. "Dumbass!" Fuyuhiko shouted, "I don't wanna actually spend time with you! Get out of Nagito's room, you're probably getting on his nerves!" "Loser!" Kokichi taunted, holding his right hand up to his forehead, his index finger and thumb extended into an L-shape before dissolving into malicious cackling again. "Fuck you!" Fuyuhiko sniped, turning on his heel, "Nagito, you should get away from that guy!" "Good night, Fuyuhiko," Nagito responded cheerfully, pausing from drying his hair for a moment, "Be careful on your way back to your room, ok?" "'Dumbass! Fuck you!'" Kokichi called after Fuyuhiko, mocking him by repeating what he said with an exaggerated baby-voice. Fuyuhiko's shoulders were tensed, his fists clenched and trembling at his sides. He stormed off without further comment. "Neeheehee!" Kokichi herded Nagito back into the room and closed the door behind them both, having to force it a bit into the slightly-misshapen frame, as usual.
"Can't believe you made it through that idiot's entire shift without falling asleep," Kokichi noted, his tone difficult to decipher - whether he was impressed or disappointed was unclear. "Sorry, master," Nagito chuckled with a slight shrug, "You did your best." "Nah, I was thinking about it, and it's better if I do something to ruin his day, myself… If you had screwed things up, he just would have been mad at you, not me. Can't have that!" "That's true," Nagito nodded very slightly, "Not unless you wanted to tell him how it was actually your fault--" "It's none of his damn business!" Kokichi sharply asserted, "If I do something, I want him to know it was me!" "I mean… If it helps, I think you just ruined his night," Nagito offered coolly, "It was probably already hard enough for him to thank me and admit he was wrong, then having you yelling at him--" "Neeheehee! You're right! He was so mad, he wanted to hit me!" Kokichi cheered, "He's so easy, I was barely even trying!"
As customary, Kokichi sat at the end of the bed with Nagito between his knees, carefully combing out his hair, but this time was chattering about all of his nefarious deeds he'd been planning in Nagito's absence.
- - -
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funeralprocession · 3 days ago
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funeralprocession · 3 days ago
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finished playing drv3 last week, i didn’t expect to like ouma so much!
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funeralprocession · 3 days ago
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sketch for my AU Ultra despair team
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funeralprocession · 3 days ago
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funeralprocession · 3 days ago
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#18; requested by @glitteringcoffin, this is an addon to the last one and it's... Uhh... It's pretty smutty, it's not extreme but it's scandalous. [2/3]
[ #1 ] [ < #17 ] [ #19 > ] (word count: 1582)
"Explain it to me again," Kokichi requested with a faint smile. "Uh, I'm not sure what you need to hear," Nagito's tone was calm as usual - it seemed as if the 'nervousness' was insincere and for Kokichi's amusement. "Ah, all of it. Tell me again."
Kokichi had pulled Nagito into the room, despite how Nagito had a prior obligation to fulfill. He needed to leave, but Kokichi had him backed up against a wall, his left arm firmly pressed across Nagito's abdomen, while his right hand passively worked on untucking his captive's shirt.
"I need to go back…" "What for?" Kokichi innocently asked, tilting his head quite adorably, "Why don't you wanna stay here with me, Koma-chan? Are you mad at me?" "No, of course not," Nagito smiled faintly, "I don't want Fuyuhiko to lose his job because I'm unreliable." "Oh, start there," Kokichi suggested, having finished untucking Nagito's shirt from his pants, "Why are you doing Fuyuhiko's job for him? Tell me." "He didn't want me to; he said I was going to fuck everything up," Nagito chuckled breathily, "I guess he was right." "More. Keep talking." "Turns out the place he's working was short-staffed, so they weren't that-- Ha," Nagito panted abruptly, "S-sorry, they… Let me…" "Hmm," Kokichi deviously smiled, "I see… So you're saying that if you take too long with me, you might end up being responsible for Fuyuhiko losing his job?" "Y-yes… He didn't like the idea in the first place…" "Well, I guess that means you should cooperate with me, huh~?" Kokichi asked, slipping his right hand up under Nagito's shirt, caressing his stomach with his thumb. "I'm not-- Ha, I'm not being uncooperative..." "You know what I'm talking about, Koma-chan," Kokichi whined, launching into his manipulative, mewling routine he often liked to trot out, "I'll let you leave as soon as I'm done with you, so you should try to finish quick, right?" "Finish?" "You know what I mean~" Kokichi responded gleefully, "As soon as you cum for me, I'll let you go. Then Fuyuhiko gets to keep his lame-ass job, and you wouldn't have ruined anything." "That's a lot of pressure," Nagito chuckled as Kokichi worked his belt open with one hand, still holding Nagito against the wall with the other. "Do you really care about what Fuyuhiko thinks about you?" Kokichi narrowed his eyes, finally taking his focus off of his one-handed belt-trick. "No," Nagito panted, smiling faintly, "He knew I would ruin everything anyway, that's why he didn't want my help in the first place." "Neeheehee!"
Kokichi was getting what he wanted after all - he might not have been terrorizing a whole community, but he was about to upset someone terribly. It was someone he wasn't particularly fond of - a bonus.
Fuyuhiko was attempting to distance himself from his family, hated the fact that people looked at him as if he simply had everything handed to him because of his ties. Because of that, he was determined to take care of himself, forsake everything that had been provided to him (by them, or out of fear of them), leading to his menial task as a deliverer. Fuyuhiko was annoying. He was too similar to Kokichi so of course they didn't get along. Fuyuhiko thought Kokichi was an obnoxious loser; Kokichi thought Fuyuhiko was a stuck-up, noisy, nepo baby-brat. It may have actually been ideal - Kokichi wanted to annoy somebody, and he couldn't have asked for more amusing target. This might have actually been better than if Kokichi had been able to rip Fuyuhiko off directly - he wasn't sure why, it just seemed like it could potentially be more satisfying than if everything had worked out as he'd planned it.
"I'm gonna tire you out, Koma-chan," Kokichi purred, nuzzling Nagito affectionately, "You're gonna leave here so tired, hmm?" "Ha," Nagito chuckled breathily, uncertain what Kokichi wanted from him - aside from the obvious. "You're not gonna be able to complete Fuyuhiko's shift!" Kokichi cackled deviously, sliding his hand into Nagito's pants slowly, "You're gonna get his ass fired!" "Master--!" "Neeheehee! This is even better than I had originally planned! Of all the people you could have been covering for? That one!"
Nagito thought their rivalry was a little absurd. He wouldn't say it out loud, of course, but the fact Kokichi was at such terrible odds with Fuyuhiko was… Interesting, maybe. He wasn't sure if the feud was two-sided, whether Kokichi just had this unrequited dislike on his own? However, if it was mutual, that would explain Fuyuhiko's vehement refusal to accept help from Nagito. If he thought Kokichi was out to get him (and Nagito was quite obviously affiliated with him)--
"Ha," Nagito's knees were starting to buckle. "Hmm? Something wrong, Koma-chan?" Kokichi inquired with a menacing amount of glee, "You know I'm not lying this time, right? As soon as I make you cum, I'll let you leave."
The concern was not that Kokichi would go back on his word and disallow Nagito from leaving - Kokichi knew Nagito got incredibly tired out after… These sorts of things. That was exactly what he was planning on. He wanted Nagito to be too tired to function, and screw everything up for Fuyuhiko.
"You weren't really trying to prove yourself, right? You weren't actually trying to impress that guy, were you?" "N-no," Nagito panted, blushing quite a bit, "He was right about me--" "He wasn't right about shit!" Kokichi asserted sternly and immediately, "This isn't YOU screwing everything up for him, it's me! I'm screwing it up for him!" "You're using me to hurt him, master," Nagito could barely manage to control his breathing well enough to speak. "Not entirely," Kokichi responded so sweetly, "It's not just about him… I also like making you cum on yourself." Kokichi was also beginning to pant, blushing profusely, starting to perspire a bit. "Those cute noises you make? I could never get sick of 'em."
Nagito wasn't sure if Kokichi's visible excitement was about this "harmless prank" he had the potential to inflict upon Fuyuhiko - or about having Nagito pressed against the wall and reacting to everything he was doing. Either one was entirely likely.
"Truthfully, I don't wanna let you go," Kokichi confessed, attempting to hide his heavy breathing, "I want you to stay here with me… But because I'm not mean-- not mean to you, anyway, I'll let you go when I'm finished with you." "Ha," Nagito's legs were weakening and he pressed his back harder against the wall; he wished there was a piece of furniture to lean against, but there weren't any nearby. "All you have to do is give me what I want," Kokichi cooed affectionately, rubbing his hip against Nagito's upper, inner thigh while his right hand was busy. Nagito hadn't even cum yet and he could already feel that fatigue setting in, the tension in his shoulders and back burning off in the most unfortunate way--
"You're going to be so exhausted," Kokichi informed him, his tone a combination of evil amusement and panting excitement, "Then you'll never leave me again!" "W-what?" Nagito's legs finally gave out from under him and he slid down the wall, Kokichi staying right on top of him, not separating for a moment. "This isn't about that Kuzuryu bastard; this is about you, Koma-chan. You and me." "What are you saying?" Nagito laid down flat on the floor, "This is kinda scary--" "Neeheehee! I love you!" Kokichi chirped excitedly, "You were only away from me for seven minutes before I couldn't take it anymore! You have my heart!" "Hng, master--" Kokichi began rubbing a little more enthusiastically, pushing Nagito's knees apart with his hips so he could rub himself against his captive as well - it was awkward while they were both fully-clothed, but he needed it.
"Scary~" Nagito chuckled after a moment, patting Kokichi on the top of his head. "HEY!" "It's cute, I promise," Nagito cooed, chuckling again shortly after. "Bastard!" Kokichi playfully cackled, "Normal people would have been terrified, you know!" "Sorry," Nagito shrugged, still breathing quite hard, "I really do need to go back, though." "How are you feeling? You tired~?" Kokichi grinned devilishly. Nagito laid down flat on his back again and chuckled weakly, "I wish you weren't getting me involved in your feud... Master." "It's OUR feud, Nagito!" "I don't have a problem with--" "He's a jerkass!" Kokichi interrupted sharply; his carefulness while he was refastening Nagito's pants and belt had a stark contrast to his tone of voice. "If you say so," Nagito chuckled, just barely managing to get his breathing under control.
Kokichi helped Nagito up from the floor, very gently backing him up against the wall and nuzzling him kindly. "Be safe," Kokichi's voice was unusual - he sounded oddly, sincerely affectionate. "Go wash your hands," Nagito chuckled; Kokichi immediately hugged him tighter (becoming more akin to a boa constrictor smothering its prey than a hug). "Hey! I'm being careful not to wipe cum on you, but I'll do it!" Kokichi cackled, "I'll make it obvious why you took so long and why you're walking funny now!" "I'm not walking funny--" "I hope Fuyuhiko's shift isn't for much longer, Koma-chan! For your sake!" Kokichi cutely chirped, "You WILL be walking funny soon~" He didn't need to elaborate; Nagito knew what he was referring to, and he wasn't looking forward to that part.
- - -
There wasn't room to explain Keech's drama in this one XD!! So I'll explain here. Keech is jealous of Fuyu for his family, and he hates that Fuyu doesn't appreciate them. Even the fact they "gave" Peko to him, that burns Keech's ass. Everything Keech has (if you believe him, about DICE and everything) he had to work for and take for himself, none of it was given. They are also extremely similar (and people with large, abrasive, highly-similar personalities tend to not get along, at least sometimes), but the main thing is that:- Fuyu thinks Keech is a loudmouth loser (because he thinks everybody sucks) - Keech is highly jealous of Fuyu having a family who wants (and expects) him to succeed - Keech is also highly sensitive to rejection (and Fuyu rejects basically everybody), and Keech handles that super well - They're like, opposite versions of the same goddamn person XD!! Fuyu wants to be taken seriously and hates when people mention his babyface; Keech leans into being adorable in order to escape accountability for all the shit he does. - There are other things, pretend I listed them all here but I'm done thinking about stuff for now XD!! (All this stuff is just personal hc stuff, just for the sake of this thing, but I might reuse it in future stuff I write, so I guess this is morgue canon now.)
Also @glitteringcoffin owes me a beej! ⊙ v ⊙!
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funeralprocession · 3 days ago
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i need to get this shitlord out of my head 
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