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fukuronamidrafts · 4 years

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Haikyuu 336, on what Bokuto said...

Ok I know that we are all freakin about about the new haikyuu chapter but can I just say that it’s not even what bokuto said but also HOW HE SAID IT I have been screaming nonstop since I read this and let me explain why…. BECAUSE… THIS IS TOO MUCH…

So here’s one of the translated scans I was reading, and while the translation isn’t incorrect it doesn’t convey the entire story:

What bokuto said was, in Japanese:

でもね赤葦 (demo ne akaashi)

俺には (ore ni wa)

120%をちょうだい (120% wo choudai)

SO LETS BREAK THIS DOWN LINE BY LINE

1. “でもね赤葦”

“But akaashi“

He could’ve said “でも” (demo) ”でもな” (demo na)　“でもさ”　(demo sa) or even ”けど” (kedo), which more or less convey “but”

BUT HE SAID でもね (demo ne)

Which is a way of speaking that’s more commonly used by women/children, and at the same time conveying a kind of “but you know“ feeling; overall this is just softer than the other ways of saying “but”

2. “俺には”

“for me”

Not “for this match,” or “for the team,” but “for me” – I don’t know/care about other people (aka your 100% might be enough for other ppl), but FOR ME, BOKUTO KOUTAROU, SPECIFICALLY

3. “120%をちょうだい“

AND THIS IS WHERE I DIE

“Give me your 120%”

He could’ve said くれ (kure) or よこせ(yokose), which both also mean “give me”, but the way bokuto said it implies that Akaashi has to reach out and give it to him too, not just him trying to get it from Akashi. I’ve seen dictionaries say that this is closer to to “いただく” (itadaku) which is more focused on the act of receiving instead of taking, if that makes sense. On the other hand choudai is also more commonly used by women/kids, in a way that you can imagine children asking for candy or a girl acting cute and asking for something from her boyfriend (if you understand Chinese I am trying to explain 撒嬌 but there is no English word for this LOL if u r into kpop its kind of like aegyo I guess??). Basically like how he said でもね this is much softer/childlike than any other way he could’ve said it. HOWEVER even if it is softer there in undeniably an element of pressure and trust to it such that Akaashi WILL deliver this. AND UH… another context u see this commonly is in doujinshis where they ask for sex and literally say “全部/すべてちょうだい” (zenbu/subete choudai) “give me your everything“

AND THIS IS WHY JP TWITTER IS FREAKIN OUT ABOUT HOW IT LITERALLY READS LIKE A DOUJINSHI

To give more context/comparison to this, here are some examples of how other characters in haikyuu say “give me“ to each other:

Akaashi to Konoha: “kudasai” much more formal, polite, very akaashi lol

Bokuto to Konoha: “yokose” more manly, guy between guy kind of way of speech, GIMME

And perhaps the most beautiful comparison here is from chapter 286 where hinata says “give it to me next time too” with his dark!hinata face because aksjhdkjf THEY R SAYING THE SAME THING BUT THE WAY THEY SAID IT JUST REALLY REFLECTS THE DYNAMICS so he said “次もくれ” (tsugi mo kure) which is also more along the lines of guy between guy kind of speech, and slightly more demanding. I feel like I’m not doing this explanation justice but just let me say that I don’t think Kageyama or Hinata would ever ever use the word choudai towards each other because that really isn’t how their dynamic works if that makes sense??? I just love the parallel between the bokuto/akaashi relationship and kageyama/hinata relationship between setter and spiker and how both pairs feel immense pressure from each other but at the same time still such little difference in wording really shows the differences in the dynamic and im lkzjfhkljsafhkakd

TO SUM IT UP BOKUTO SPEAKS IN A MUCH SOFTER/GENTLER/CHILDLIKE TONE TO AKAASHI AND AND I AM DEAD AND AM STILL DYING AND PLS SCREAM WITH ME

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fukuronamidrafts · 4 years

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Suna Rintaro did not know how to respond when his best friend, Miya Osamu, had confessed to him earlier today after their graduation ceremony. Comebacks and witty remarks usually came easy to Rintaro, but matters of the heart are an entirely new thing for him. Not that he had a hard time showing his sincere emotions, he just did not know how to accept such feelings even though he felt the same way for him for quite a long time now. The culprit was his own doubts and pessimism towards himself.

"You don't.. have to give me an answer right away. I’d be willing to wait." Osamu had said when he saw the hesitation on Rintaro's face. This was much appreciated, as he needed the time to properly think without getting carried away by his emotions.

Rintaro was sprawled out on his bed, hand hovering over his phone's keyboard, trying to think of a proper reply. Tens of minutes have passed and he was still staring at Osamu's chat box, the message line ticking as if beckoning him to finally confess that he reciprocated his feelings and he also wanted to be more than friends. However, doubts once again clouded his mind. He knew to himself what kind of person he is, and he feared that he was not the one who could truly make Osamu happy. Thoughts were loud in his head once more as he debated with himself.

Osamu was pacing around his room, fidgeting with his phone. Dammit. Maybe I shouldn't have confessed. I definitely should not have confessed. What if this ruins our friendship? His thoughts were interrupted when his phone suddenly made a notification sound. With sweaty, shaking hands, he peeked at his phone, scared to face the reality of reading Rintaro's reply. He breathed in and out to calm himself before he opened the message that Rintaro sent. It was a song. Curiously, he pressed play. As the song played, he wondered why Rintaro would suddenly just send a song recommendation after everything that happened that day. It was only when the chorus hit when he understood Rintaro’s intention for sending the song;

If you could you keep it together

For a moment in time

Then you'd see that I'd be

Your excuse for a lover

Your own mountain to climb

You would see

As he heard those lyrics, he felt a pang in his chest. Osamu got the message that Rintaro was trying to say. It pained him to know that the person he loved thought of himself as a challenge, as a person who is hard to love. This was the reason for Rintaro's hesitation. Instead of discouraging Osamu however, this just made him all the more determined to prove that he loves Rintaro as he is, flaws and all.

It took him a while to think of how to reply to Rintaro. Once he made up his mind, he was confident that his message would get through. It's now or never, 'Samu. he thought to himself. With a nervous hand, he pressed send.

Rintaro was just staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing, when his phone vibrated. A smile formed itself on his face when he saw that he was replied to with a song as well.

I'd like to walk around in your mind someday

I’d like to run and jump on your solitude

You say you just want peace and to never hurt anyone

You see the end before the beginning has ever begun

I would disturb your easy tranquillity

I'd turn away the sad impossibility of your smile

I'd sit there in the sun of the things I like about you

I'd sing my songs and find out just what they mean to you

He listened intently and the smile on his face grew.

It was Osamu saying that he wanted to be part of his life. It was a stubborn love letter ensuring him that despite everything Rintaro thought about himself, he'd still want to be by his side through it all. It was a warm, beautiful welcome into his embrace. Message received.

II.

"So there's this new song I discovered the other day," Osamu looked at Rintaro who was excitedly going through his phone's music library, searching for the new-found song, "and I think you'd love it."

They had just finished a simple picnic in a secluded area of the nearby park, and were lying down on a blanket spread across the grass. Hours were spent just talking about anything and everything. Both were so engrossed in their conversation that neither realized that the moon had already started to brightly shine upon them. Even if they had already been dating for 2 years, they never ran out of things to talk about.

"Ah, found it." Rintaro exclaimed. "Here," he offered the left side of his earphones to Osamu who lovingly took it and placed it in his ear. As the song started to play, Rintaro rested his head on Osamu's chest, one ear listening to the song, the other listening to his love's heartbeat. The way the soft instruments formed its harmony made it a magical kind of song. Osamu wrapped his arms around Rintaro, who in turn smiled as he felt secure being in his embrace.

Sit down beside me and stay a while

Let our hearts do their parts

With wine and words to meet the hours

So the day never starts

Cause that's what I want

That's what we need

Sit down beside me and stay awhile

Till we're old and grey

Till we've got nothing left to say

Osamu stared up at the night sky with a content smile on his face. The stars seemed to sparkle a bit brighter that night. All he wanted was to remain in this moment of pure bliss, holding the love of his life tight in his arms, relishing in the melody of the song softly playing through shared earphones. Osamu would not mind it if the night went on forever and tomorrow never came.

III.

It has been almost a week since there was tension between the two of them. An argument over some trivial matter had turned into a full-on petty fight in which Rintaro kept deflecting, or at least in Osamu's point of view. They were no stranger to arguments, but recently Rintaro was so volatile and Osamu felt it without a doubt. "Why're you even bringing that up when that ain't even the issue at hand, Rin?" Osamu raised his voice a bit too much, which Rintaro rolled his eyes at. "You just really don't get it, do you? What I'm trying to say is that you don't even try to understand me sometimes." Rintaro said in irritation, giving up on trying to make Osamu see his point. He hated leaving an argument unfinished, feeling as if it's a loss on his part, but he really just had no energy to talk any longer.

Before Osamu could retort, he got his jacket and keys and stormed out of their shared apartment, loudly slamming the door to make sure that Osamu knew that he was still frustrated even if he was the first one to back down in the argument.

It has almost been a week since that fight. Osamu couldn't bear the cold atmosphere anymore. When Rintaro had left him alone in their apartment the night of the fight, he took the time to mull things over especially Rintaro's words which rang in his mind over and over. Upon realizing what Rin was trying to get through to him, he immediately tried to think of a way to fix things.

Rintaro had his eyes closed as he was on the train ride home to their apartment, tired from the exhausting volleyball practice. His phone vibrated signaling that he received a new message. With eyes still closed, he brought out his phone to see what it was, and his face soured seeing that it was a message from Osamu. He opened it anyway. It was a link to a song. Rintaro rolled his eyes at this, but he was also eager to listen to the song.

He was awfully tired and wanted to sleep in silence but he knew that in their relationship, sharing of songs was an act of love and was always more than they seemed. The volleyball player put on his earphones and pressed play on the unfamiliar song. He focused on the lyrics;

I'm sorry

Two words I always think

After you're gone

When I realize, I was acting all wrong

So selfish

Two words that could describe

Oh, actions of mine

When patience is in short supply

We don't need to say goodbye

We don't need to fight and cry

Oh, we, we could

Hold each other tight, tonight

He gave a small laugh. Such a cheesy move, he thought. Yet he smiled all the way home with the song on repeat.

"Is this really your way of trying to apologize?" Rintaro tried his best to retain a hardened facade though deep inside he felt soft because of his love's gifts. His pride would not allow himself to give in, especially after an intense fight. Four pieces of his favorite variation of onigiri were masterfully crafted and plated in front of him, along with his favorite jelly sticks wrapped with a bow like a bouquet. "Well.." Osamu rubbed the back of his neck while trying to find the words to say. This small gesture of his was all it took for Rintaro's facade to falter and he shattered into laughter. It was just too cute for him to bear. Rintaro gave him a warm hug, one which Osamu had definitely missed, and so he hugged him back with a firm yet loving grip. "I'm sorry too. I could have handled things better." it was almost a whisper, but Osamu caught every single genuine word. He wanted to stay like this a bit longer but Rintaro released himself from the hug. "We better eat these onigiri before they get cold, 'Samu.", he gave the chef a warm smile.

IV.

Being in the pro league is way different from highschool volleyball. The training regimen was far harsher and more vigorous. Add to that, the coaches had less mercy. Unfortunately for Rintaro, today was an off day for him and he got called out numerous times.

He knew better than to punch his locker out of frustration, as his hands were an asset now after all. With a stifled scream, he threw his towel at the locker room’s floor and resigned himself to the bench nearby. The negativity for himself that he always bore started to cloud his mind again. He started spiraling down his dark state of mind when his phone rang. The interruption almost made him throw his phone at the wall but he caught himself before he did anything rash. Of course, it was Osamu. Rintaro accepted the call and remained silent as he waited for Osamu to speak first.

The other line stayed silent for a while. “..Off day today?” Osamu finally said in a gentle voice. They had been together for almost 5 years now, and it still amazes Rintaro how Osamu could read him even though he knew for a fact that he was unreadable. This didn’t change how he was tired and irritated at himself though. Rintaro remained silent, not wanting to admit that his guess was right. Instead, a deep sigh confirmed it. At this point, Osamu knew better than to talk any more than necessary, but also not to withdraw in saying the reason why he called. He knew that this would only add to Rintaro’s annoyance. “I heard a song on the radio today while I was having a break. It reminded me of you. I’ll prepare dinner tonight, your favorite.” Osamu made sure to make his points concise. Rintaro appreciated how much Osamu understood him now during the times when he felt down. A small hum was all he could muster at the moment. “Stay safe on the way home.”, the gentleness in Osamu’s voice soothed him much more than he was willing to admit. “You too.”, he replied.

Osamu sent a link to the song which he referred to a while ago. With earphones on, Rintaro listened to it, leaning his head full of heavy thoughts on the locker behind him.

No one else can make me feel

The colors that you bring

Stay with me while we grow old

And we will live each day in springtime

'Cause lovin' you is easy 'cause you're beautiful

And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you

He couldn’t help but smile at how Osamu always made him feel loved. His mind got a bit clearer knowing that the love of his life is always there to support him everyday.

Osamu was in the middle of preparing to close up the restaurant when he got a text from Rintaro. “Can’t wait for dinner.”, it read. Osamu smiled.

Their 5 years of being together was definitely a ride with unexpected twists and turns. Arguments often erupted but they always made up. Rintaro knew that deep inside, it was because he was just the type of person who could never make a relationship work.

Their last quarrel was different from anything they had all these years. It was a calm quarrel, which was actually scarier than their heated arguments. Both were just already so tired, not of each other, but of just being together. There was a difference and both of them understood it well. Rintaro was the one who initiated that both of them go their separate ways. I knew this would happen. Better to end it sooner than later, he thought regretfully. Rintaro wanted time away from Osamu, and Osamu respected this.

It was only after a week that Osamu realized that he didn't actually want to break up, and that he still wanted to be by Rintaro's side no matter what. However, he kept in mind Rintaro's wishes. Though the pain was like a million knives stabbing him over and over, he refrained from contacting Rintaro.

Osamu had already lost track of the months of stillness between them. He used to take notice of the days because of the constant itch to check his phone for new messages everyday. As each day passed, his disappointment grew, along with the longing to hear from Suna again. Those days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, and those painful months felt so stretched out that it blurred his concept of time.

It was around 8 pm as Onigiri Miya's final customers for the day headed out the door, thanking the chef for the meal. The employees cleaned up and then prepared for closing. Osamu bid the employees a safe trip home as he did the final preparations to close his restaurant.

After a few minutes, he closed the lights and headed out. As he locked the front door, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He nonchalantly fished it out, thinking it was just Atsumu and his usual antics. However, his eyes widened when he saw the name on the bright display. Rin. His heart started racing and his head was suddenly full of thoughts. It was what he had been waiting for all this time, and yet he did not know how to react once he finally had it. The shock made him slightly lightheaded and so he sat on the footsteps of Onigiri Miya, eager to read what his silent lover had finally sent. It was a song file with a title he was unfamiliar with. Nothing more, nothing less. The cool night breeze ruffled his dark hair and he shuddered as he stared at the play button. For some reason, it made him uneasy.

The song started out with soft piano notes, then an accompaniment. Rintaro had sent an instrumental. Osamu gently scoffed, thinking how it was like a cruel joke that Rintaro would send an instrumental piece after months of silence. It was as if even in song, Rintaro still did not want to speak. His attention was brought back to the song when violins joined the harmony. He smiled. Rintaro knew that Osamu loved the elegant, silky sounds that only violins could make. It was a gentle, simple song yet it stirred in him different emotions which clashed and fought each other. However, the sweet melancholy was the one which prevailed. He felt his chest tighten. This was not a new feeling these past few months, yet it is a feeling that he will never get used to.

When the final notes marched off into the distance, finally becoming white noise, he breathed out. The pain of the pent up silence manifested itself into tears that welled up in his eyes. With a pained, bittersweet smile, he looked up at the night sky which now seemed to sparkle less that it had before. He stared at the vast sea of stars above him as he made peace with the realization that the song was not a mere recommendation. Though there were no words, the message was clear.

It was Rintaro saying that he is grateful for the past 5 years. It was a sincere apology for failing to keep their promise of working through things no matter how difficult the circumstances became. It was his love's beautiful, final goodbye. Message received.

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fukuronamidrafts · 4 years

Text

Rintaro was sprawled out on his bed, hand hovering over his phone's keyboard, trying to think of a proper reply. Tens of minutes have passed and he was still staring at Osamu's chatbox, the message line ticking as if beckoning him to finally confess that he reciprocated his feelings and he also wanted to be more than friends. However, doubts once again clouded his mind. He knew to himself what kind of person he is, and he feared that he was not the one who could truly make Osamu happy. Thoughts were loud in his head once more as he debated with himself.

If you could you keep it together

For a moment in time

Then you'd see that I'd be

Your excuse for a lover

Your own mountain to climb

You would see

Rintaro was just staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing, when his phone vibrated. A smile formed itself on his face when he saw that he was replied to with a song as well.

I'd like to walk around in your mind someday

I’d like to run and jump on your solitude

You say you just want peace and to never hurt anyone

You see the end before the beginning has ever begun

I would disturb your easy tranquillity

I'd turn away the sad impossibility of your smile

I'd sit there in the sun of the things I like about you

I'd sing my songs and find out just what they mean to you

He listened intently and the smile on his face grew.

II.

Sit down beside me and stay a while

Let our hearts do their parts

With wine and words to meet the hours

So the day never starts

Cause that's what I want

That's what we need

Sit down beside me and stay awhile

Till we're old and grey

Till we've got nothing left to say

III.

I'm sorry

Two words I always think

After you're gone

When I realize, I was acting all wrong

So selfish

Two words that could describe

Oh, actions of mine

When patience is in short supply

We don't need to say goodbye

We don't need to fight and cry

Oh, we, we could

Hold each other tight, tonight

He gave a small laugh. Such a cheesy move , he thought. Yet he smiled all the way home with the song on repeat.

IV.

He knew better than to punch his locker out of frustration, as his hands were an asset now after all. With a stifled scream, he threw his towel at the locker room’s floor and resigned himself to the bench nearby. He almost hit his head too hard when leaned back on the locker behind where he was sitting. The negativity for himself that he always bore started to cloud his mind again. He started spiraling down his dark state of mind when his phone rang. The interruption almost made him throw his phone at the wall but he caught himself before he did anything rash. Of course, it was Osamu. Rintaro accepted the call and remained silent as he waited for Osamu to speak first.

Osamu sent a link to the song which he referred to a while ago. With earphones on, Rintaro listened to it, leaning his head full of heavy thoughts on the locker behind him.

No one else can make me feel

The colors that you bring

Stay with me while we grow old

And we will live each day in springtime

'Cause lovin' you is easy 'cause you're beautiful

And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you

He couldn’t help but smile at how Osamu always made him feel loved. His mind got a bit clearer knowing that the love of his life is always there to support him everyday.

Osamu was in the middle of preparing to close up the restaurant when he got a text from Rintaro. “Can’t wait for dinner.”, it read. Osamu smiled.

Their five years of being together was definitely a ride with unexpected twists and turns. Arguments often erupted but they always made up, mostly thanks to Osamu’s efforts. The fact that it was mostly Osamu who reconciled them did not escape Rintaro for even a second. Deep inside, Rintaro believed himself to be the type of person who could never make a relationship work. He started to feel bad for making Osamu go through his stubbornness, pride.. and other negative traits of his which he thinks stops him from being as kind and loving as Osamu.

Their last quarrel was different from anything they had all these years. It was a rather calm fight, which was actually scarier than their heated arguments. Both were just already so tired, not of each other, but of just being together. There was a difference and both of them understood it well.

“I know that we promised that we’d work through things together. But aren’t you just tired of this already?” Osamu said with an exasperated expression.

A cold wave flooded through Rintaro’s whole body. There it was. The word that he feared would come out of the lips of his beloved. Tired. I knew from the start that this would happen, he thought regretfully. Better to end it sooner than later .

Ever since that day, Rintaro started to become distant. Osamu minded, but he didn’t bother this time. One could say he did not really care, which surprised himself.

A week passed, and Rintaro initiated that both of them go their separate ways. He wanted time away from Osamu, and Osamu respected this. It even felt like a relief for him.

It was only after a week of solitude that Osamu realized that he didn't actually want to break up, and that he still wanted to be by Rintaro's side no matter what. However, he kept in mind Rintaro's wishes. Though the pain was like a million knives stabbing him over and over, he refrained from contacting Rintaro.

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