frrrfrrrfrrr - Tumblr blog

[frrrfrrrfrrr]

Does our heritage mean nothing to you people

[frrrfrrrfrrr]

The Host Lyrics Frerard Analysis

Disclaimer - This post is entirely speculation. I could, in fact, be dead wrong, and I give Frank permission to bully me on Twitter if he ever finds this. But in all seriousness, no one except the guys truly knows what goes on behind closed doors. This is just an interpretation that has been in my brain-worm-filled head for a long time. Some friends also added their insights and interpretations to this. A big thanks to them!

In this post, I am going to use a Frerard lens to analyze the lyrics from The Host, a song off of Frank’s solo album Barriers.

Before I begin, please be aware that this theory falls under the assumption that *something* happened between Gerard and Frank in the past, whether it was just mutual attraction or maybe much more. As many in the fandom believe, I too think that Frank was heartbroken by whatever the hell happened between them - he has a lot of regrets and/or still longs for Gerard in some capacity.

This analysis also falls under the assumption that Frank and his wife Jamia had/have some kind of open relationship and that Frank may be polymorphous. I am not in any way trying to diminish the love Frank has for Jamia. He feels an insanely strong connection and deep love for that woman. She is a wonderful person - a saint - for supporting Frank throughout the years, and he adores the kids he had with her. However, I still think Frank has an insatiable love for Gerard that he just can’t escape.

Let’s dive deep into the scenario my brain created based on the lyrics of The Host. First, the title of the song: I imagine “the host” to be Gerard at his LA home. At the first Newark show (2022), Gerard said he had not been to NJ for a long time, so I doubt Frank could have been the “host” in the lyrics. Recent intel has revealed that the band reunited in 2017, so I think the song could be referring to one of Frank’s visits to Gerard, most likely during one of the MCR BBQs in LA or perhaps one of their jam sessions. 

I interpret this song from Frank’s perspective as he’s talking to Gerard, “the host.” As a basic summary, I more or less feel that Gerard and Frank fell back into flirty habits during Frank’s visits. Nothing serious probably, just their usual affectionate touches and other subtle intimacies. It most likely happened when the others weren’t around - even if it was just Gerard and Frank in the kitchen for five minutes getting a cup of coffee. During these moments, Frank wonders what it would be like to live in a house with Gerard and have a domestic relationship with him if things had turned out differently.

Let’s go line by line:

“I can't stand the fun we're having

Drifting off and rambling on

With high roads full of mass contusions”

^ This introduces the idea that Frank and Gerard are just hanging out (the fun we’re having), catching up on things (rambling on) and so on. They’re having a lot of fun together, but Frank still remembers all of the hurt that happened between them (roads full of mass contusions).

My crippling fears, and your designer jeans

^ “Crippling fears” is most likely referring to Frank’s anxiety. He has mentioned many times in interviews that he has thoughts and anxiety eating away at him constantly. Even though they are having fun at that moment, Frank is still feeling some kind of anxiety about his relationship with Gerard, past or present.

The “designer jeans” reference is very blatant in my opinion. During the breakup years, Gerard began wearing some designer clothing brands like Greg Lauren. So, this is a clever way to call him out without being *too* obvious about it. 

“You're choking on all your good decisions”

^ I believe this is about Gerard’s marriage to Lynz. It has come to light that she is not a very nice person and has done really shitty things. The “good decision” (stated sarcastically) is Gerard’s rushed marriage to that woman and how maybe his perfect dream life isn’t turning out the way he planned. Therefore, he’s “choking.”

“While I'm basking in what I settled for” 

^ This is Frank referring to his current life/situation. Again, I’m not saying he settled for Jamia, more so that he “settled” for a life without Gerard as a lover/partner. He loves his wife and family but can’t get over his pining for Gerard.

“(I never wanted to want much more)” 

^  This is implying how badly he wanted that kind of life with Gerard.

“Unmade bed and blanket statements ”

^ THIS FUCKING LYRIC. It is my favorite from this song, and it also kills me. The “unmade bed” line signifies all that is left unresolved, unsettled, and unsaid between them - aka their past. Things are still kinda messy, not tidy, and neither of them have fully moved on from it. Also, read more literally, their romantic long-term relationship was/is a “bed” that was “unmade,” i.e. never fully realized. 

The next part “blanket statement” not only adds to the image of a bedroom, sleepovers, or playing house, it implies a lot. It could mean things spoken & whispered under those blankets, on that forever unmade bed of theirs; those promises, hopes, fears, and desires. It’s literally both the big “blanket statement” covering all things (MCR is not reuniting; we are only just brothers in rock) AND the small intimate things (I think about us all the time… what if we HAD worked out?).

Another interpretation is that Frank was always open and upfront with telling Gerard exactly how he was feeling in very specific terms, saying “I love you” etc. But Gerard always tried to avoid having to make those kinds of direct statements by using a blanket statement. For example, if Frank ever tried to confront Gerard and make him admit his feelings, Gerard would reply with something vague such as "You know how I feel about you."

“You're playing house like we're home alone”

^ I interrupted this as Gerard doing domestic things with Frank (cooking, cleaning etc) and showing him affection/interest as if they really lived together. The phrase “like we're home alone” implies others are around (family, band mates, etc.), but Frank and Gerard are still in their own little bubble. 

Alternatively, it could be referring to Gerard and Lynz. If their life isn’t so perfect and they are unhappy together, they could be “playing house” by themselves. Maybe they don’t do domestic activities together - for example, maybe they don’t sit down together for dinner and instead eat separately.

“On and on, so far gone

On and on, I'm so far gone”

^ This part can have multiple meanings in my opinion. “So far gone” could be referring to Frank still being in love with Gerard - it’s not something he can escape. On the other hand, it could be referring to the distance between them mentally and physically. Gerard also seems to put a wall around himself when it comes to Frank. He also lives in LA which is thousands of miles away from NJ where Frank lives.

The chorus repeats - skipping it for now

“What have I waited for?

I'm running out of time

I'm running out of time”

^ I’m not entirely sure about this part, but I think it could be Frank debating with himself about making a move on Gerard or telling him how he still feels. Like, a small part of him still believes he can make things right with Gerard.

“I'd give up everything all for a glimpse”

^ I think this is kind of self explanatory at this point.

Other parts of the song repeat like “So far gone” and the chorus

“I'm looking for a sign

I'm looking for a sign

I'm looking for a sign

I did it right”

This is Frank questioning his past choices and wondering if they were correct. However, I think Frank has already gotten his “sign” that he did it right - he loves his family more than anything and says he wouldn’t change anything. 

But there may be part of him that still mourns over what he and Gerard could have been.

And that’s my analysis! This song and this interpretation kills me, but I had to get it out my system and share my brain worms with others.

[frrrfrrrfrrr]

what is ft willz, i'm totally missing something

You’re totally fine! So, basically, there was this MySpace account back around ‘08 that posted a lot of angsty, heartbroken free verse poetry. And, they ran under the pseudonym “FT Willz” even though we never knew, and we still don’t actually officially know, who ran that MySpace account. When fans actually found out about the secret MySpace account of his, even though it wasn’t posted on for quite some time, it was made private. 

All fingers pointed to Frank being FT Willz himself for obvious reasons. Firstly, one of the poems that was on the original MySpace account entitled “from my head to my middle finger, i really think i like you.’ was later posted to Frank’s actual site later back in 2013. A few words/phrases were changed around, but both sounded strikingly similar to each other. 

Second, one of FT. Willz’s friends on his MySpace page was none other then Skeleton Crew which is Frank’s company that released clothes and was his record label and all that. 

Finally, if you just read the style of FT. Willz’s writing and you compared to Frank’s writing you could basically tell that they are most likely the same person, which is Frank. There was also an unclaimed Tumblr blog that was filled with similar sounding works as well right here, but that was never disclosed if that was FT Willz (basically Frank) or just a random person who happened to write very similar to the style of his writing. 

I think that’s about it and covers everything! I hope this was helpful!