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She has been playing Don't Starve for hours on end for days on end. She doesn't remember saying this but she thinks she may have had a Don't Starve related dream

“Do you want to secretly plant a tree here?”

- my partner, 12:07AM, just as I’m almost asleep, no context or reason to say it…

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My partner genuinely loves the Noisestorm - Crab Rave video. Not even as a meme. The crabs are just super cute

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Tim Allen and his Minions

Context: Our group is sitting in an inn. We have a Chaotic Evil Magis Suli, a Barbarian Half Orc, Human Witch and a Catfolk Sorcerer/Cleric. A guy rushes in and says there’s monsters in the fog.

Dm: The fog seeps through the windows almost like liquid. While you pay attention to that, you hear the door slam open. You turn to look and you see two skeletons, two zombies and a large, shaggy dog man.

Me: That sounds like that movie where the dad turns into a dog.

Witch: Shaggy Days??

Half-Orc: Shaggy Dog With Tim Allen?

Me: TIM ALLEN BURSTS IN THE DOOR.

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DM: It's Vecna

Eira: Okay end of campaign lets go home.

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When you want to reward your players well but you can’t find a reason to give them XP mechanically:

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"Do you want to secretly plant a tree here?"

- my partner, 12:07AM, just as I'm almost asleep, no context or reason to say it...

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One-off South Australian D&D

I'm currently in South Australia for an Arts & Theatrics Festival I'm participating in. While here I had f*** all to do, so I found the South Australia Dungeons & Dragons group. I sent a message crying for my D&D fix and a mod responded inviting me to a game he was running.

I had a thing on tonight so I got there late and only got to play for an hour and a half but the way the game was run was very similar to the first session of D&D I played in high school. Basically, extremely homebrew. Very extremely homebrew.

I'm more used to official D&D stuff (besides my first session and this one) so I actually decide to play my first Adventuree's League character but make him on the same level as the other characters (lvl. 14). He never died when I first played him so I thought "Why not?". He's a Tiefling Wild Magic Sorcerer named 'Joey Walks'.

Joey is found in a room with a massive water pool, seemingly trying to unlock a small box (sure, why not). I smell scorched wood and plants so I turn around to see a f***ing Large Rose Bush with a Tiefling-shaped face sprouting out of a rose that was just freshly burned (Thorn) and a Fire Monk who is getting ready to attack me (Fae, DM controlled)!

I cast 'Dominate Person' on the Monk and talk to the Rose Bush.

Joey: Sorry to Dominate your friend there. I really am friendly, I'm just not strong so... yeah. You can talk your friend down, yeah? If I release her?

Thorn: Oh no, she doesn't listen to me. You're on your own buddy.

Joey: In that case, mind if I make her open this box while she's under my spell?

Thorn: Sure.

Joey gets her to open it, she drops it on the ground and smashes it with her foot. As the sound of smashing glass fills the room the obliterated box oozes green liquid. Thorn slides a root over to suck up the liquid and finds he has a temporary +1 to STR.

Joey decides to Shape Water around Fae and then freeze it so that her body is covered in ice except her head. I then stand behind Thorn and release Dominate Person. Fae instantly breaks out of the ice. Joey talks her down enough that she won't kill him but still doesn't trust him. That's fine.

Fae: So, where did you come from?

Joey: Oh... me?

DM: I'll be right back, going to the toilet. Come up with how you got here while I'm gone.

Now, I have absolutely no idea about this world. There's a place called "Sunny-landia" that's filled with Drow. That's all I know, and I know we're not there. So where did I come from?

Joey: Uhh... Water Portal. I was walking along a beach, saw a small glistening whirlpool, jumped in aaand came out of this pool of water.

Thorn: Right.

DM returns.

Fae: So, where did you come from?

Joey: *repeats himself*

Fae: Oh...

DM: Is that really what you're going with?

Joey (OOC): I mean, my character comes from an old Adventurer's League game so... I can think of something else if you want.

DM: No, it's fine.

Fae: So, this hallway behind us is practically endless. I think we jump in the portal.

Thorn: We've still got our Drow friend roaming the halls though.

Fae: *thinks for a moment* ... *jumps in*

Thorn: Okay then! *jumps in*

Joey: *shrugs and jumps in*

DM: You end up on a beach, with black water at nighttime. Roughly 3AM. You think you are at least 500 miles from where you were.

Thorn: And what's behind us?

DM: Dunes of sand.

The DM then realises he has no idea where the fuck the party has just gone. He's written no notes on this place, he came up with it on the spot and decided to close the portal behind them so now the characters are locked in a completely unknown land. He was planning on wrapping up anyway, but now he has to create a whole new region.

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"Fuckin' up wheat"

My partner asked me what windmills were for at 11:25PM when we're both tryna sleep and this is all my brain could muster

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Friendly reminder that Chichi was known as the cute hot one among Goku’s friends.

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I'm sitting next to my partner who is studying for her job in the public service, here in Australia. Chapter 3 of one of the sections of study had just this video and nothing else. When I asked "What was that for?" she could only reply "Study, I guess..."

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Just waiting for the day my players say "Stop" in combat

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Lif Ya Spirits

Context: Dragon Heist

Instead of naming Trollskull Tavern... Trollskull Tavern, my group decided to name it after the poltergiest who used to own the place that they befriended who runs the bar. His name is Lif.

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Context: Sewer Hideout in Dragon Heist

DM (Me): You hear a rough voice shouting angrily, but can't make out what it's saying as it's too far away.

Warlock: I try to sneak closer to listen

*rolls a 7*

DM: You snap a stick and the voices stop.

Warlock: I use 'Disguise Self' to become loaf of bread!

DM: A humanoid sized and shaped loaf of bread? With like, Vegemite Soldier fingers?

Warlock: Yes!

Bard: I cast 'Prestidigitation' to make him smell like fresh toast!

Warlock: NO!

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The halfling is orcsexual

So my Halfling is talking to a shady shopkeeper who had sold the party drugs and acid earlier on and in strolls a tall and attractive pale green half orc in white robes, who is the mayor of the town. So, the halfling IMMEDIATELY flirts with him. Her roll isn’t great, but she investigated the conversation between the mayor and the shopkeeper and noticed that the mayor is passed a baggie very similar to the bag she got her drugs in. She hears the mayor say something softly in Thieves’ Cant, and the following ensues: Halfling: “I hope to see you again”. Me, the DM: roll charisma Halfling, OOC: Natural 20 Me: No way (I look, it sure is a 20) All my players: loud cackling Me: gets up, walks to the other room, buried face in hands, and screams Halfling, OOC, yelling: DM, what does he say? Do I get him? Me, also yelling: Why are you flirting with the mayor that you think is on hard drugs why are you LIKE THIS?

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Got my friend a Death Note from a Sydney Royal Easter Festival

Now that I've watched Death Note, I want it back hahahaha

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"Troll! In the dungeon! There's a troll in the dungeon! I just thought you'd want to know" *falls down the Yawning Portal*

Starting off Waterdeep: Dragon Heist right!

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subvert all expectations by having literally nothing happen ever. finding players? settting up times to play? how cliche.