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can you guys watch my squab for me im gonna go on my smoko

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If anyone was wondering, Duolingo just got even worse.

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My DM for our weekly DnD game recently moved to California. It’s been sad and we miss him. He DMs now via Zoom and we’ve got a really nice set up so he feels very present. Today while DMing he had us rolling investigation in a library. He said the books title was Is Sex Necessary? When we all seemed puzzled he prompted, “You two should know… Is Sex Necessary?”

My girlfriend and I were stumped. “We should know or our characters should know?” I asked.

“You!” He insisted.

We looked at each other in bafflement repeating “Is Sex Necessary!?” “Is Sex Necessary…?”

“It’s on your bookshelf!” He exclaimed. So we went over to investigate and sure enough, a slim volume stood on the shelf titled Is Sex Necessary? The whole group, all four of us, clustered around to inspect the book.

It honestly didn’t occur to me to investigate the book for clues, I opened the cover hoping to see a hint as to its origins, and inside found a paper note with my DMs distinct handwriting that proclaimed, “Secret! Do not open!”

It turns out he planted notes in several books over two months ago specifically for this eventuality. Each note had a hint for defeating beholders (which he knew we were gunning to fight after being extorted by one) and were sprinkled through many books. He’d say, “An earth genasi explorer wrote this account called Feet of Clay,” and I’d go pull down my Terry Pratchett book of the same title. Or “A sea faring elf wrote about their study of leviathans in Ship of Magic,” and I’d grab my tattered Robin Hobb to find another note.

It was really cute and immersive and it made him feel a lot closer finding all the little notes he left in our home.

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you punch nazis!

(requested by anonymous)

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Here…… take this…..

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THIS IS MAKING ME WHEEZE

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parks and rec but it's just the memes (pt. 2)

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Orcanize and find your pod.

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Orcanize and find your pod.

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Oh my god that's fucking hilarious

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Have you ever seen a bear in the wild?

Yes

No

Unsure

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this has been said before but I feel like it is very important to view being kind as something you do rather than something that you are because all people have the capacity for meanness and cruelty and often use it inadvertently but the point is to change your behavior and your attitude and practice paying attention and being selfless and sincere and vulnerable and putting kindness and warmth into your actions and words instead of being like oh I value kindness and thus I am such a good person. like it’s about the attempt

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This is how it feels to read a classic that everyone in the world has already read and loves

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Genuinely starting to think I pissed off some fate controlling entity

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being neurodivergent is all fun and games until someone is slightly critical of you and you suddenly feel physically ill