friendlyfiends

[friendlyfiends]

more domestic control au thoughts because i'm just. i'm obsessed. so! as much as dream would sometimes love to just make hob his full time pet, he knows hob loves his waking life and his job. but unfortunately... sometimes his job means hours working at his desk. and dream really can't just spend all day keeping an eye on hob, but he also knows how absorbed hob gets in his work and he wants him to start taking breaks, which hob will absolutely not do if left to his own devices.

so. because they're kinky bastards, dream's solution is a new desk chair for hob. it's a good, solid, comfy chair. with a dildo perfectly positioned to fit into hob's hole. made of dreamstuff, of course, and changing shapes for different purposes -- it goes long and slim when hob's first sitting down, to make it easier to guide it inside his hole. and then it changes from there. hob tends to fidget around a lot, so sometimes it'll be shaped like a fairly normal cock, a bit on the big side but not huge, perfect for hob to idly grind on while he works. sometimes, when he's having trouble focusing, it'll shape itself like a plug, or like a knot, because while hob absolutely could get up if he needed, it turns out it's weirdly helpful to have something that feels like it's holding him in place, like he has no choice but to get his work done if he wants to get out of the chair.

but if hob spends x amount of time in the chair without a break? it makes sure he takes a break. the dildo will start moving, or vibrating, or growing inside him. sometimes it'll fuck him, too slow to actually make him come. sometimes it gets long, fairly thin but stretching deeper and deeper into his guts until he swears it must be in his stomach.

it doesn't exactly motivate him to get up from his desk. but it does get him to focus on something other than work for a bit, so dream calls it a success.

-🐈‍⬛

I appreciate this SO much because I am the kind of person to sit at a desk for 6 hours with no breaks sksksks and I firmly believe that Hob would Do This.

I'm totally hooked on the idea of Hob grinding himself down on the dildo while he tries to work on a new piece of research. He's kind of just mindlessly enjoying how full and stretched he feels on the massive girth. BUT. It's long past the time when he should have had a break, and the dildo starts vibrating - just a little bit at first, a low buzz which is more a warning than anything. Hob knows he should stop now, but he's just got into this new section so he keeps going, just a little bit more.

The warning phase is over, and the vibration increases to a level that makes it impossible for Hob to hold a pen, or type properly. He can't even get his eyes to focus on the screen. He has to grip the arms of his chair as the dildo rumbles deep inside him, buzzing violently against his prostate and still stretching him out almost unbearably. The dildo starts actually fucking him, thrusting in and out so the vibration echoes up and down his passage. Hob didn't even know it could do that, and the shock of being properly fucked by his own chair makes the tears in his eyes spill over.

Perhaps the most tortuous part of all is the cock cage, which stays firmly locked throughout the whole process. Hob can't cum, he can only sit and take his punishment until it's over, and he's shaking so much he simply can't keep working. He drifts off into a nap, and Dream is waiting for him in his realm to provide cuddles and aftercare.

[friendlyfiends]

So Dream sees poor wretched 1689 Hob and decides "I need to make this man mine" and spends the next 100 years on and off designing a collar for him. But it importantly can't look like a collar, because he doesn't want Hob to know that's what it is, but that's absolutely what it is.

1789...happens, and everything goes wrong, and gifting it doesn't happen.

1889, Dream is quite impatient by this point and gives it to him right away at the start of the night. This extremely elaborate necklace is perhaps a tad feminine and very tight, but it's beautiful and a gift from his dear benefactor so of course Hob accepts. And custom-made jewelry is not typically something you give a stranger, so he feels confident in suggesting they are perhaps more than strangers to each other?

Dream, a hypocrite of the highest order and black belt in self delusion, is of course immensely offender (read: terrified - does he know???) of this assessment and storms out.

And then doesn't show up in 1989.

And the necklace does not come off. There is absolutely no way to take it off. And Hob is stuck with the beautiful hand-crafted reminder of his stranger around his neck that is damn near impossible to hide.

This is a work of genius omg??? Like,,, Dream working for literally 100 to make this necklace/collar, and then he doesn't get to give it to Hob - he has never been so frustrated in his life omg. So there's another 100 years of fiddling to make this thing just right and he finally gets it around Hob’s neck! Hooray! And Hob is very receptive to Dream’s... gift? Actually he's too receptive, and Dream freaks to fuck out about it.

Leaving Hob with the fanciest piece of jewellery he's ever owned, which is definitely not suitable for his middle class Victorian existence. But the damned thing is stuck on. He spends the next 100 years trying to hide it, or giving up entirely and allowing people to relentlessly tease him about his pretty necklace. At least in 1989, he'll be able to ask Dream about it! Right? Right...? Nope. At least men's jewellery is fashionable now. He does look pretty all dolled up in gold and pearls.

Hob learns to love his necklace, and when Dream offers to take it off for him in 2022 he refuses, point-blank. No way. Dream claimed him, and nows he's gonna have to deal with the consequences 😙

[friendlyfiends]

dream, as king, likes to have his lovers (and that really just translates to “hob”) lying obediently at the foot of his throne. hob sits there with his head on dreams lap, topless, covered in various strings of gold jewelry and gemstones. his main purpose is to sit there and look pretty…except that it isn’t. for all of the super intimidating uber-infamously cruel and wicked nightmare king that dream makes, because his reputation across the realm really does have reach, he doesn’t actually do anything. because it’s his “consort”s job to do all the ruling instead. their roles are totally swapped. in public it’s hob laying at dreams feet, but in private it’s dream who’s sucking hob off from under the desk as he drafts a letter to their allies. as soon as their petitioners have left the throne room and the two of them have returned to their chambers, he gets to fuck his sweet little pretender king into subspace. pretending to be in charge is a lot of exhausting work, you know?

Aww, lucky Dream!!!! Living his best life as "king" in public and then going to his own private chambers to be Hob’s demanding brat, while Hob tries to get the business of ruling done in between whiney pleas for attention.

I really love the idea of Hob taking Dream back to their room and disrobing him in an almost ritualistic way. When the ceremonial robes and crown and lifted away, Dream is finally, truly free to be himself. As he always says, Hob looks so much better wearing the crown anyway. It matches the gorgeous jewellery which he wears as consort, and of course he never takes off. And when Dream is finally naked with nothing burdening him, he can go sit on his nice black velvet cushion until Hob is ready to attend to him.

The fact that Dream is so bratty and demanding is really a testament to how comfortable he is as Hob’s submissive. He knows that he's safe, he won't ever be punished in a way that he doesn't really like. More often than not Hob actually spoils him by fucking him for hours on end or cuddling him on his lap. Does Hob ever get a minute of peace and quiet when he's not trying to rule the country OR rule over his beautiful sub? No he doesn't, but he loves their life and wouldn't change a single thing. At least he can relax next time they hold court for an ambassador together, and he'll sit at Dream’s feet like he's a good little pet.

And of course Dream has his moments of good, angelic behaviour, and Hob is fully confronted with the fact that he's the luckiest bastard in the entire universe because he gets to take care of this sweet creature and make him cum until his big blue eyes flutter shut and he no longer even has the strength to whimper <3 its a very good life, even when he's wiping cum off the crown for the fiftieth time.

[friendlyfiends]

It’s been like. Five whole minutes since I’ve turned fun sex things into hurt/comfort. So. :)

human au, when Dream and Hob get together Hob thinks Dream has a run-of-the-mill oral fixation. He always seems to want to suck Hob’s cock, warm his cock In his mouth for ages, when they have sex he insists he wears some kind of gag.

The truth is though… it’s not that Dream doesn’t like those things, but that’s not why he does it. He’s just very insecure about any noise that could come out of his mouth.

People always tell him how awkward he is and that he can barely hold a normal conversation (he has no idea how he landed people-person, charismatic Hob) so he’s certain he’d fail at dirty talk. And his laugh is so ugly, surely any moans or noises he makes during sex would be equally awful. And of course, his worst nightmare is getting caught up in the moment and letting an “I love you” slip FAR too early in the relationship than is acceptable. There is simply no way anything good could come from his mouth (ever, but especially during sex) so he deals with it by keeping his mouth occupied.

I can’t decide how Hob figures it out- if he puts all the pieces together during sex or foreplay, or if it somehow comes out during a more domestic moment. Either way, he insists on ravishing Dream with his mouth free and uncovered so he can hear every lovely sound he makes (and prove that he loves his silly boyfriend no matter what).

-🦇

We love the hurt/comfort smut here!!!! Hell yeah!!!!

I have a certain idea about how Hob finds out about Dream’s whole complicated relationship with his own vocality. It all comes out when Dream, quite suddenly loses his voice altogether. He gets a little bout of laryngitis during flu season, and while he's not super sick, he also can't speak. He's reduced to texting and writing little notes while Hob fusses over him and makes him plenty of nice cups of tea.

During his illness, Dream is visited by his sibling Desire. Hob has never met them before, but honestly he's more focused on Dream than anything else. He has a vague notion that the two siblings don't exactly get on, however, and this becomes apparent when Desire makes a series of quips about what a relief it is to have Dream silenced. If only he would be quiet all the time! He's so much more bearable when he's not making any noise.

Hob clocks Dream’s face during this series of bad jokes and all he sees is... resignation. He realises that Dream believes Desire's cruel words. Everything starts to make sense.

After the laryngitis passes and bedroom activities are back on the menu, Hob cautiously broaches the fact that he really doesn't want Dream to be gagged this time. He doesn't want him to muffle his face in the pillow, either. He'd quite like to have some very boring and tender missionary sex, and he'd like to hear Dream’s voice and his noises the whole time.

Unfortunately for Dream he's in love, and he can't deny Hob anything, let alone something so sweet and pure. He's sure that Hob will be disgusted by his noises, but he agrees anyway. Maybe Hob will forgive him for being so loud, if he behaves himself well in other ways...

In reality Hob is the one making the most noise because he absolutely sobs his way through the sex. Hearing his sweet Dream's pleasure for the first time is so overwhelming and almost spiritual, he can't help but cry. There's a long way to go, but Hob is determined: he's going to make sure that Dream is never silenced again. Hob wants to hear everything that comes from his beloved's mouth - especially if its an "I love you!"

[friendlyfiends]

Look personally. Y'all know that I think Hob prefers to bottom. It's the one time he allows himself to be taken care of. It's his one little indulgence. BUT. He's constantly hooking up with guys who also want to bottom, or vers guys who take one look at him and assume that he wants to top. And Hob is an eternal people pleaser so he just goes with it.

So when Dream finally takes the initiative after all those centuries and drags Hob off to bed... Hob is mentally preparing himself to get into his role the world's most enthusiastic service top, right? Until. Until. Dream cups his jaw and says very gently, I would like to fuck you, if it would please you.

And Hob has a minor cardiac incident and his knees turn to jelly and in appropriately 0.5 seconds he's been reduced to an absolute babbling mess thanks to the thorough sexiness of consent and the fact that he's finally gonna get his guts rearranged by his favourite entity in the universe hehe.

[friendlyfiends]

Like most creatures in the Dreaming, Hans also had a function, a nice, proper job he prided himself in despite the occasional sneers.

“Gault!” he cried with delight, meeting the fellow dream crossing Fiddler’s Green. “You’re back! Look at you!”

“I could say the same thing,” Gault said, measuring his current form up with a single glance from his high boots to his lace shirt. “The last time I saw the Boss like that he was on his way to a party of naked flower nymphs after his divorce with Calliope.”

“Yeah, I thought it might work,” Hans said cheerfully. “Do you think I went overboard with the abs?” He looked down at the pale torso, a mixture of Hans’ memories of what Morpheus looked like on that ominous night and the fantasies of the dreamer he was about to pay a visit.

“Ugh,” Gault grimaced. “Yeah. He’s scrawnier than that. And don’t smile like a lunatic. It’s— disturbing seeing that expression on his face.”

Hans rearranged his features into a scowl, a face that would have fooled anyone into thinking it was Dream of the Endless himself standing there (except for the eyes. Despite all his attempts, he couldn’t get the eyes right.)

“Who wants to see the man like that anyway?” Gault scowled. “Are you sure your department didn’t mix up assignments with the Nightmares again?”

“Oh yes,” Hans countered, fighting to keep his tone even, detached — after all, he prided himself at being an excellent actor. He cleared his throat then and said in an intonation that probably would have fooled Lucienne herself, “If you must know I am due for a visit to Robert Gadling.”

“Kinky son of a bitch,” Gault muttered. “Well, good luck with that.”

Hans acknowledged that with a regal nod then briskly walked past her — after all, he had a job to do.

Hob Gadling was a surprisingly average man for someone immortal, with painfully vanilla tastes.

Hans didn’t mind it. It was hardly the worst part of his job, if, for certain, a peculiar one. He tried to think of it as a professional challenge — after all, it took no small amount of creativity and skill to imagine what their Boss, colder than a penguin’s piss in Antartica would say to things like, ‘you’re bewitching’ and ‘God, your neck is sweeter than brandy snaps’.

They’re in the middle of something very promising in a dream of what might have been Hob’s bedroom in the 16th century when a voice came from behind.

“Hello Hob.”

Hans looked up from his task (namely undoing the buttons on Hob’s doublet with his mouth).

In the door there he stood, Dream of the Endless himself in a distinctly different vestiture than his replica, his coat buttoned up to the chin.

Seeing his creation, he only raised a dark eyebrow.

“Greetings to you as well, Hans.”

“Lord Morpheus!” he cried with delight, still straddling the lap of one very confused and horny Hob Gadling. “Didn’t expect the honour of another workplace inspection so soon, you humble me, your majesty. Should you like me to proceed—?”

“No Hans, thank you,” Dream halted him in mid-motion. “Actually, I hoped to get a word with Hob alone.”

“Ah, I see,” Hans said, climbing off Hob’s lap. “Would you mind terribly signing my timecard before I go? I’m afraid my manager, Carolyn’s quite the stickler for procedures—”

“Um, excuse me gentlemen,” Hob interjected, making both Dreams turn towards him, which is, well, that was food for thought for another day. “Sorry to interrupt, but anyone care to enlighten me what the bloody hell is going on?”

The two Dreams looked at each other. Then the Dream (the one that looked more similar to that of Hob’s memories now that he thought about it) said,

“Hob. You are dreaming.”

“Oh,” Hob said softly, looking around, suddenly alarmed. “So the last time we met when you said you rule the realm of Dreams—”

“Yes. I meant it.”

Hob’s gaze turned to the other Dream then, his brows furrowing.

“And he is—?”

“Horny Hans from the department of Well-thought-out Emotional Transaction Dreams.”

“It’s quite the mouthful, really, we just call it W.E.T. Dreams,” Hans chimed in from behind, but quickly shut his mouth under Dream’s glare.

“Oh my God,” Hob whispered, his eyes widening as realization dawns on him. “Oh God, I’m so, so sorry—”

“It is fine, Hob,” Dream reassured him. “This is your subconscious working. It’s perfectly natural that as I have recently returned to your life and we have a novel emotional bond as friends your mind’s also evaluating the possibility of having me as a mate.”

“Ugh-huh, some might argue with the ‘novel’ part,” Hans interjected, making both Hob and Dream turn towards him. He held his hands up in defense, “I mean, we’ve been taking shifts in this setting for like six centuries?”

“Six. Centuries,” Dream deadpanned, turning to Hob, who seemed redder by the minute.

“This is actually my two hundred fifteenth time in this form,” Hans said cheerfully. “Oh, by the way did I get this part right?” he asked Dream, pulling the front of the tight leather pants away from his hips, to showcase what’s beneath. “I’m never really sure about the size—”

Dream squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Hans. Would you give us a minute?”

“Of course,” the dream said eagerly, waiting with a blissfully happy smile that would never grace the true Dream’s lips.

“Alone,” Dream added sharply, giving a meaningful glance in the direction of the door.

“Sure, sure, your majesty,” Hans rushed to say, holding his hands up in surrender as he headed for the door.

When he took a last glance at Hob’s expression he couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

He didn’t deserve whatever punishment Lord Morpheus had in mind — but Hans knew better than to get in the way of a vengeful Endless.

Time was a fickle concept in the Dreaming, so Hans couldn’t tell precisely when Lord Morpheus left Hob Gadling’s dream — the only thing he knew was that it was much later than he expected.

Also, much more naked.

He wore the same ensemble Hans did, except on him it all looked Right. The kind of beauty that is not just pretty, but sublime, arresting and divine to the core, from the tip of his boots to the lace shirt casually thrown over his shoulder, ever-changing constellations moving in the fabric.

“Hans.”

“Yes?” he said, tearing his gaze away from the shirt.

“Please note that in the future I will tend to Mr Gadling’s dreams personally.”

“Of course, your majesty.” Hans nodded. It was an odd request but hardly the most peculiar of their eccentric lord. “Would you like to also handle other dreams requiring your likeness?”

Dream raised an eyebrow.

“Miss Constantine also dreams of you quite frequently,” Hans explained and Dreams eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “It’s usually a repeated sequence of punches and drop kicks and pushing your majesty out of the window.”

“Truly?” Dream asked, squinting thoughtfully. “I believe I gave an explicit order to all my subjects to let her dreams be peaceful.”

“Oh, she’s very peaceful, very content,” Hans reassured him. “Would you like to tend to those dreams too?”

Dream seemed to consider that for a moment then he said,

“I believe it’s best to leave those to the assigned department.”

[friendlyfiends]

I'm obsessed with both dometic control au and chubby muscle hob so. Combine the two. Hob never outright starves himself because hes experienced starvation and he Does Not want to revisit it but. Between teacher multiple classes, running a pretty successful business, writing research papers and going out with Dream he doesn't always remember to eat until hes absolutely starving. Once Dream takes over his care he starts eating more regularly and gains some of his chub from the 1500's back. At first hes worried that Dream won't like his body changing (since he ditched poor Hob back then) but Dream goes Insane seeing his care and love for Hob having a physical effect.

💳 anon

Oh GOD you've combined my favourite things...... I feel like this deserves its own fic (I might be making domestic control au a series coughcough). But lemme just. Sjsbsb.

I feel like Hob (as I write him) DEFINITELY has the ole neurodivergent tendency to forget that food exists until he's alerted to the fact by hunger pangs or someone telling him to eat.

But once (thanks to Dream regulating his meals for him) he gets back in the proper regular routine of meals and snacks, he obviously gains a bit of weight! Which he is very in favour of personally, he likes being a bit more filled out and he feels healthier, happier etc. Having a partner just complicates things a bit, because he very clearly remembers the 1589 rejection and how Dream went off with the (skinny) twink.

BUT! He doesn't even get time to overthink or worry about it properly. Dream is so obviously thrilled to see him gaining a bit of weight. He's excited about it, he won't stop touching and rucking up Hob’s shirt to make sure that he wasn't imagining his belly.

Hob manages to be the adult in the room and have a proper conversation with Dream about how he's a tiny bit insecure about the weight gain but also very much in favour of it.... and Dream is like well OBVIOUSLY I just have to tell you and show you how much I love every single inch of your body. Starting immediately.

Hob's praise kink plus his genuine enjoyment of food/being cared for means that he ends up with a much softer body he feels so much more comfy in. A body that Dream obviously adores. They're both very happy <3

[friendlyfiends]

I have more Cori and Destruction thoughts so. Bare with me but. Dream and Destruction fucking their respective partners and seeing who can make their sweet subs come harder? Or seeing who between Hob and Cori can last longer while being pounded into the matress side by side?

Galaxy brain idea: Hob and Cori fucking each other while Dream and Destruction watch and tell them what to do.

(Sorry I am v sick and out of it)

💳 anon

I like this very much!! So much scope for fun with these four.

There is definitely some competitive fucking going on (unsurprisingly it's Cori and Hob who are the really competitive ones, Dream and Destruction are just looking on fondly at their silly subs).

Love the idea of Cori being allowed to mount Hob (as a reward so good behaviour), but only being able to do as he's told so he really has to hold himself back and practice some discipline...meanwhile Hob is just totally blissed out and floating in a big ole cloud of subspace.

Partner swapping, also??? Dream fucks Cori and Destruction fucks Hob and everyone gets all worked up and jealous (in a sexy way). Thus leading to lots of primal claiming sex and biting <33

Afterwards the four of them all snuggling up together in a big pile of fucked out, sated happiness. Destruction is big enough to be a pillow for three other people and he loves being used to make everyone else comfortable <3

[friendlyfiends]

Dream: I am unlovable.

Hob (banging a drum loudly as he marches up and down): I LOVE DREAM OF THE ENDLESS! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

...

Dream: It would be better for everyone if I had never existed.

Hob (squirting Dream with a water pistol): Say silly things, get squirted. You are wonderful and the world is better for you being in it, you dramatic – but well loved – wet cat of an anthropomorphic personification.

...

Dream: I hate myself.

Hob: That’s it…

-drags Dream to stand in front of a mirror-

Hob: Look your reflection in the eye and say, ‘I am loved, I deserve to be loved and I am working on my self-esteem issues,’ three times in a row.

Dream: I’m not go t…

Hob: We’re not leaving until you do. I can and will wait as long it takes. I’m immortal and very stubborn. You are not winning this one.

-two days later, after Dream has finally given in-

Hob: Good. Now you need to do that every single day until you start believing it.

Yeah okay soft dom Hob it is.

---

"Come on, pet," Hob murmurs, stroking his fingers through Dream's hair. Dream listens, more than watches, as Hob circles him where he kneels in the middle of Hob's living room floor, an unnecessary cushion under his knees.

Were he human, his body would have long failed him.

Were Hob not immortal, not ancient for one of his kind, he thinks, his patience would have long failed him.

"You know what you've got to say," Hob nudges.

It is shockingly easy to kneel for Hob Gadling, who treats him as something good and precious, a being of thoughts and feelings and needs who deserves to see them fulfilled.

It is less easy to view himself as Hob views him, which is what Hob requires of him now.

"I..." Dream begins, for perhaps the hundredth time. It is one thing to hear the words. He hears them, constantly, from Hob. He believes Hob means them, that to Hob, they are true.

It is another thing entirely to speak them himself, being unsure he believes the same. Or being quite sure he does not.

Hob pauses in his pacing a moment, petting Dream's hair gently. Encouragement. Space to speak.

Dream shakes his head. Tears well up in his eyes at his inability to simply give Hob what he has asked for. The only thing he has ever asked for. He is the most undemanding of lovers, and the kindest, the most generous in his own gifts.

He has asked for this one, single thing, and Dream still struggles to give it. He has never succeeded. He has always called a stop to it, eventually, when he is forced to conclude that he has once more failed.

Hob bends, presses a kiss to his forehead, and strokes his hair again.

"You'll get there," he says. "I'm going to make a cup of tea while you gather your thoughts. Not ten paces away. You'll be able to hear me the whole time."

He brushes a tear from Dream's lashes without drawing undue attention to it, and walks off.

Dream listens for the click of the kettle, the soft, high note of the spoon being dropped into the mug, piled high with Hob's second-favourite supermarket brand of raw sugar. The gentle crinkle of the teabag joining it. The water, beginning to bubble.

In a moment, Hob will pull the coffee table up in front of Dream, and he will lean forward with his tea clasped in both hands, the familiar scent of it washing over Dream's palate. He will offer Dream a mouthful, which he is always free to refuse or accept, and wait again. And once he has finished his tea, he will return to petting and pacing.

He will love, relentlessly, until Dream can take no more of this and must remove himself, and then he will gather Dream up in his arms and soothe him, run his hands over his body, press kisses to his flesh and hold him, and whisper love and devotion and reassurance into his ear, and promise that they'll try again. When he's ready.

He has done this a half-dozen times before, and will do it, Dream knows, knows, hundreds, thousands more. He would repeat this ritual on a weekly basis for eternity and not once falter.

"I..." Dream repeats as he hears Hob pouring water into his mug. "Am loved."

The kettle drops with a thump, unheeded, and Hob paces his way back. He aims at unhurried, but he is not perfect. He is excited. Dream has done something to please him, the one thing he has asked for, and he is excited by it, eager to return to his side.

"And?" he adds, breathless.

Dream turns his face up to Hob, taking in the wonder in his eyes, and feels something break inside him. The tears spring up anew, stinging his too-human form as they swell along his waterline, threatening to fall.

"I am loved," Dream repeats, taking a breath to get his bearings. "I am loved."

It becomes easier, each time he repeats it. It can be seen so clearly on Hob's face that he wonders now why it had been difficult at all.

"I am loved," he hiccups as Hob reaches down to touch him, stroke fingers through his hair, brush away tears. He is so good. It is the second part of the sentence he struggles with.

But it was most difficult to say the first part the first time. If he can say it once, perhaps it will become easier as well.

"I am loved and I deserve it," he says in a rush, sobbing, watching Hob's whole being radiate joy and warmth and pleasure. "I deserve it," he repeats, with another sob, tears flowing freely down his face. "I deserve it. I am loved, and I deserve it."

Hob drops to the floor before him, uncushioned, heedless of the discomfort of such an action, and surges forward to kiss him.

"You are loved, and you deserve it. You're so good. You've been so good for me, my darling," he murmurs, a bare inch from Dream's lips. "You're perfect. I'm so bloody proud of you."

Dream sobs again, and collapses into Hob's waiting arms. They fall, the two of them, gracelessly to the floor, saved only by what remains of Hob's self-preservation instincts as Dream tries to crawl into his rib cage, tears still escaping him, unnecessary breaths coming in harsh sobs as something inside him breaks. It is agony, but it is a worthwhile agony, and Hob holds him through it.

"So good," Hob murmurs, peppering kisses over his cheeks, his nose, the corners of his lips, kissing away tears, nuzzling at his skin. "Perfect. So proud of you," he repeats, over and over, as Dream curls his fingers into the soft cotton of his t-shirt, coming back to himself like the flow of sand through an hourglass—slow, but inevitable.

The ground swoops out from under him as Hob picks him up, the familiar journey to the bedroom one of triumph, today, instead of shame and disappointment. Hob's joy takes root in Dream's belly, filling it up, making him feel as perfect and beautiful and wonderful as Hob tells him he is.

"I am loved," he murmurs one last time against Hob's shoulder. "And I deserve it."

[friendlyfiends]

Dream is immediately enamored with Hob in 1389 and immediately they go sex up an alley!

Hob is so down for getting railed by the pretty lording!

One issue. Dream is bad at communicating. He now believes he has a husband.

Hob now believes he is in love with a lord who is only interested in him carnally.

Oh I love a good misunderstanding!

So Dream is very much of the opinion that he and Hob are now forever bonded, cosmically conjoined, married etc etc. But he leaves Hob in the waking world because A) Hob probably will want to say goodbye to his friends, tie up any arrangements or whatever - Dream is trying to be considerate here OK. And B), he needs a hot second to get the dreaming prepared for his new spouse.

So he's like "I am leaving now, but be assured that I will return shortly in order to continue what we have begun." Which explains absolutely nothing to Hob who can only assume that Dream means he'll come back in a bit to fuck him again???

Which is fine, really, because that was the best night of Hob’s life so far. But. He's having feelings about the pretty Lord. And he gets the impression that those feelings won't be reciprocal. Even so, he waits.

And Dream’s perception of time is... not the best. But he makes it back, in less than a month. Hob is waiting - a little pissed off that his pretty Lord stood him up for so long, but whatever.

Imagine his utter confusion when Dream gets down on one knee, addresses him as Prince Consort, and humbly invites him to inspect the realm of the dreaming - as is his right, as Dream’s most beloved husband.

Well. Hob's not going to say no, is he?

[friendlyfiends]

Am very tired today so can Hob just be a pillow princess a little? As a treat?

Can he just be tenderly and sweetly kissed and fucked and all he has to do is lay there and enjoy it?

And if he tries to return the favor can Dream just soothe him and ease him down because he doesn’t need to do anything but let Dream take care of him?

And can Dream just fuck him sooo slow and soooo deep until he’s panting and biting the pillow?

Oh anon I feel your pain. I am also just very fucking tired. So Hob is gonna get to have a very nice evening and he's gonna be loved and fucked very gently because he is indeed a precious pillow princess.

Maybe Dream just lays him back against the pillows and carefully undresses him, piece by piece. He presses soft kisses to Hob’s throat and touches him gently, with the most tender velvety hands. Hob tries to help but Dream just shakes his head fondly and pushes him back. All Dream wants him to do right now is spread his pretty legs and enjoy being pampered.

Because honestly, Hob is just very very good at being fucked and he deserves to show off exactly what a good boy he is. Arse in the air, face buried in a soft pillow and fists clenching in the sheets. He looks so good, exactly in the place he belongs. Drooling and rocking himself back against Dream’s cock as it presses slowly into him.

Maybe Dream tells him exactly what a good boy he is. Perhaps he narrates every moment of their lovemaking so Hob can hear Dream’s deep purring voice in his ear the whole time. It maximises his pleasure tenfold, and Hob doesn't even have to do a thing. He can just lie there and make his sweet little noises while Dream fucks him and talks him through every moment.

Afterwards Hob gets lovingly cleaned up - a job which he usually chooses to do himself, but god it's so nice to be taken care of - and tucked into bed with Dream at his side. He's a very sleepy boy. And he knows that there are more kisses waiting for him in the dreaming, so he floats off to sleep in Dream’s arms without a care in the world <3

[friendlyfiends]

It recently came to my attention that a lot of people, even those who frequently use condoms, don't know that you need to pinch the tip when you put one on or don't know why!

Leaving air in the tip will cause it to expand (and maybe break) when ejaculation happens. Also, air in the condom makes it more likely for the ejaculation to push the air down the condom and make it slip off.

Share to save someone from a condom breakage!

[friendlyfiends]

Sex ed should start in kindergarten. Young children need to know the correct terms for body parts, and be comfortable talking about them, for their safety. Children should also learn about consent, especially with regards to touching, as early as possible. Children should know that it is not ok for other people to touch them, or for them to touch others, if they don't want it. Children should know how to ask for help if someone does touch them inappropriately or if they have some kind of health issue regarding their genitals. Knowing about your own body and how it works is a fundamental right.

[friendlyfiends]

I remember taking a Human Sexuality Class, where a lot of the students thought it was going to be Sex Ed 2.0 because we saw the syllabus have topics like porn, cultural importance of procreation, and other things that had my peers giggling and expectant.

Only for our teacher to actually teach us consent and how it can go beyond the bedroom/dating, that there are different categories of rape and how the victim/survivor is never at fault, we studied serial predators and read up on how they viewed themselves as not committing actual traumatizing crimes to people/that they truly found themselves innocent after hurting others intentionally, we learned how mechanical and unsexy it is to film porn, that some porn stars are athletes with all the stamina they have, studied porn addictions and how they can rewire the brain with the visuals, we focused on how every sexuality queer or not had to fight for their sexual rights to be humanized (are still fighting to this day), we learned how promiscuity wasn't that big of a deal in ancient times with women and how it didn't "devalue" the woman, we learned about boundaries and how to uphold them, and learned how to make sex less of a taboo so more people can feel comfortable being tested for STDs/STIs on our campus and feel comfortable in their desires and body, we learned that reading erotica is very different from watching it and that they showed porn movies in the movie theaters completed with a strip show or sex show in between film showings.

It was all so informative deconstructing every stigma and myth about sex and by the end of it, most people came out with a new perspective on how they treated sex and shame and factual evidence. It was really teaching us personhood, about honoring your bodily autonomy, and that you can always change your mind even after you said "yes" and your partner should respect your decision. It saddened me that this class was only an elective and not mandatory. A lot of repressed people I took it with felt more confident in their own skin that semester.

[friendlyfiends]

so much of "secular" and "not-abstinence only" sex ed is only nominally so. like it's a new coat of paint with the exact same intentions of social conditioning

it often is still heavily oriented around incentivizing monogamous cisgender heterosexual sex with as few partners as possible, legitimizing "virginity" as a coherent construct, and teaching "sex" as revolving around procreative sex that only incidentally deviates into involving any other activities, which are framed as more obscene and therefore less appropriate to discuss in a classroom than PIV sex.

Sexually related health concerns (infections, viruses, etc.) are only discussed as a scare tactic and a reason to use condoms, never in an actually educational and harm reduction sense.

(did your class teach what doctor you make an appointment with if you want to get tested? did they teach what treatments and medications are available over the counter and which you need prescriptions for? do they attempt in earnest to destigmatize health concerns associated with and/or directly related to sexual activity? No? they just projected in front of the room giant medical pictures of anonymous people's genitals (whose untreated health condition on a sensitive and vulnerable part of their body due to lack of resources ensured the absence of adequate privacy standards) for the express purpose of invoking a collective expression of fear and disgust from children? wow so progressive! teaching fear and disgust at disabled and sick people's bodies via showing unsourced photo's of a strangers genitals with zero concern for those people's humanity or consent. thanks so much public school sex ed!)

and the common practice of separating "boys" from "girls" to teach lessons about anatomy is so wild to me the older I get. they claim it is to "prevent embarrassment" which is ridiculous because children are embarrassed talking about sex and bodies in an earnest non-joking way no matter who is in the room. in actuality, it seems to be a practice to purposely emphasize the ideology of biological sex essentialism and to structurally minimize the possibility of children learning about any overlap in their sexual traits with the supposed "opposite" sex. all of that before even getting to the inherent exclusion and outing of intersex and trans kids who might need to literally ask their teachers which room to go to, or to be denied entry to one room or the other based on the teacher's own biased ideas about the child's body. it prevents children from getting anywhere near an accurate or holistic understanding of how their bodies work, and creates a social context that adds fuel to already existing sexism, homophobia, intersexism, and transphobia at school.

the fact that all this is presented as ideologically neutral and a mundanely logical/reasonable way to educate children about their bodies is just infuriating.

[friendlyfiends]

When it comes to sex and kink, it's okay to not be all in or all out. It's valid to want to suck their cock, but not want cum in your mouth. It's valid to want to be spanked, but not want to be verbally degraded. It's valid to want penetrative sex, but not be up for anal. It's valid to want to be pissed on, but not want to drink it. It's valid to want part of the package without agreeing to all of it

[friendlyfiends]

If I was tickling a lee with a dog collar on I would stick a running electric toothbrush through the collar to hold it against their ear send tweet