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fridos-slippers · 4 years ago

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Can less be more? Comparing duration vs. frequency of sexual encounters in same-sex and mixed-sex relationships

-“A commonly measured indicator of a romantic couple’s sexual well-being and satisfaction has been the frequency with which they engage in sexual activity, or more specifically, sexual intercourse. Although some have acknowledged that frequency of sexual intercourse is not an appropriate measure for all types of romantic relationships (e.g. same-sex couples), the measurement of sexual frequency, of one type or another, has remained fairly constant throughout sex and relationships research. While precise estimates of sexual frequency among different types of couples (male/female same-sex vs. mixed-sex) have varied, the general pattern of findings has often indicated that female same-sex couples report lower sexual frequencies than other couples. “

-“A sample of 822 participants reported both length of sexual encounters and frequency of sexual activity. While the sexual frequency data replicated past findings, with female same-sex couples reporting the lowest sexual frequencies, sexual duration data painted a very different picture, with female same-sex couples reporting significantly longer durations spent on individual sexual encounters than men and women in mixed-sex or male same-sex relationships. Consequently, it is argued that to better understand the nature of a specific couple’s sexual relationship, it is important to examine not just sexual frequency, but also the amount of time spent on individual sexual encounters!

-“The final sample included 822 individuals ranging in age from 18 to 79, with a mean age of 30 (SD ¼ 10.63). The majority of participants were female (61.4%), white (89.8%), and resided in Canada (38.2%) or the United States (46%). Participants were well educated, with the majority reporting having at least an undergraduate degree, although more than half of the sample (57.6%) reported personal annual incomes less than $36,000.00. Nearly half of the sample reported identifying with the labels gay or lesbian (48.3%), slightly fewer identified as straight (43.8%), and a minority reported identifying as bisexual (5.4%) or unlabelled (2.5%). All participants were in romantic relationships, the average length of which was 52.9 months, or nearly 4.5 years. Relationship durations varied greatly, from as little as one week to a maximum of just over 38 years (SD ¼ 62.3 months). Just over half of the relationships were classified as being same-sex (51.8%).”

-“The purpose of this study was to explore the concepts of sexual frequency and sexual duration simultaneously within a sample of individuals in same-sex and mixed-sex relationships. To our knowledge, this is the first study to examine both of these concepts among male and female same-sex couples as well as mixed-sex couples. Similar to past research (e.g. Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983), the women in same-sex relationships reported lower levels of sexual frequency than both men in same-sex relationships and men and women in mixed-sex relationships. The reduced levels of sexual frequency identified within lesbian relationships by Blumstein & Schwartz (1983) ultimately came to be referred to as ‘lesbian bed death,’ a term that has since been heavily critiqued concerning its reliance on heteronormative understandings of sexual activity and behaviour. The women in same-sex relationships in the current study were far from reporting a complete lack of sexual activity, suggesting that the mythical ‘lesbian bed death’ was not present for participants in this study. When examining duration of sexual encounters, the opposite pattern was found, with women in same-sex relationships reporting significantly longer durations of sexual encounters than both men in same-sex relationships and men and women in mixed-sex relationships. Finally, the two measures of sexual frequency along with the duration of a participant’s last sexual encounter were all predictors of sexual satisfaction, such that the more frequently a person engaged in sex and the longer the duration of their last sexual encounter, the greater their reported sexual satisfaction.”

- “Taken together, the two questions assessing sexual frequency indicate that while women in same-sex relationships within this sample do appear to report lower frequencies of sexual activity than individuals in male same-sex or mixed-sex relationships, their levels of sexual frequency are only slightly lower.”

-“While this study was strengthened by being the first to examine sexual frequency and duration among a large and diverse sample of men and women in both same-sex and mixed-sex relationships, the study was limited by a few factors. The measures used to assess frequency and duration were ordinal in nature. Consequently, we were unable to provide a more specific estimate of average sexual frequencies or durations, but had to, rather, rely on ranges and categorical descriptors. The study also did not include a complete measure of sexual satisfaction, requiring sexual satisfaction to be estimated by the combination of individual items assessing the construct. Better measures of all three of these constructs would have allowed for a more detailed investigation of the relationships between these variables. Finally, all of these measures are subject to potential self-report biases and the (in)ability of individuals to accurately recall information about their sexual behaviours. It is possible that other factors related to relationship type or gender may influence participants’ abilities to accurately recall the frequency or duration of their sexual encounters. It is also possible that different individuals may have interpreted the questions differently, making it impossible for us to know whether each individual in the study interpreted each question in an equivalent manner.”

Another article from the same author:

Not All Orgasms Were Created Equal: Differences in Frequency and Satisfaction of Orgasm Experiences by Sexual Activity in Same-Sex Versus Mixed-Sex Relationships

- “Which sexual activities result in the most frequent and most satisfying orgasms for men and women in same- and mixed-sex relationships? The current study utilized a convenience sample of 806 participants who completed an online survey concerning the types of sexual activities through which they experience orgasms. Participants indicated how frequently they reached orgasm, how satisfied they were from orgasms resulting from 14 sexual activities, and whether they desired a frequency change for each sexual activity.”

-“Taken together, the results of this study, along with those recently published elsewhere (Garcia et al., 2014), begin to paint a picture of a new understanding of same-sex sexuality and, indeed, the sexual behavior and satisfaction of individuals in both same- and mixed-sex relationships. These findings appear to be the most robust and salient in women; that is, while a general level of agreement between orgasm satisfaction and frequency is seen among women in same-sex relationships (i.e., if they report high satisfaction, they also report high frequency), this same pattern does not emerge as clearly when examining women in mixed-sex relationships. Consequently, these results raise the question of whether women in mixed-sex relationships are potentially missing out on more (mutually) satisfying sexual encounters. This possibility may be closely linked to what men and women are taught about sex and sexual scripts. According to Wiederman (2005), men are often taught to view sexual activity as a positive element in their life, as something that is goal directed (e.g., sexual pleasure, especially his), and as something that can be rather easily separated from relational issues. This is contrasted against women often learning that sexual activity can be dangerous for both their bodies and their reputations and should, therefore, take place only within the context of “meaningful” relationships. Such notions may lead women in mixed-sex relationships to place more value on sex as a means of strengthening the relationship (through meeting the goals of their male partners) rather than as a means of also achieving their own personal pleasure.

Not only are women in same-sex relationships reporting greater frequency of orgasm from a greater variety of activities, past research has found that they also report longer durations of individual sexual encounters when compared to their mixed-sex counterparts (Blair & Pukall, 2014). Interestingly, women in mixed-sex relationships in the current study did not differ from those in same-sex relationships when it came to their satisfaction derived from orgasms as a result of self-stimulation, nor did they differ in frequency. However, there were significant differences in the satisfaction and frequency associated with orgasms resulting from their partner’s stimulation of their clitoris and oral sex, such that these orgasms were more satisfying and more frequent among women in same-sex relationships. Together, these patterns support the notion that women in same-sex relationships may simply be more in tune with other women’s bodies and more adept at manipulating other women’s bodies in the way they would their own (Garcia et al., 2014; Frederick, St. John, Garcia & Lloyd, 2017).

- “The most common sexual activities for women to engage in during same-sex sexual activity are manual stimulation of the genitals (either inside the vagina or externally on the vulva), oral sex, and rubbing genitals together (Bailey, Farquhar, Owen, & Whittaker, 2003; Schick, Rosenberger, Herbenick, & Reece, 2012). Given that men are more likely to orgasm from penetrative activities, while women are more likely to experience orgasm from clitoral stimulation, one might hypothesize that women engaging in same-sex sexual activity would experience more orgasms than heterosexual women, whereas men engaging in same-sex sexual activity might experience fewer orgasms than heterosexual men.”

-“In a recent study conducted with 2,850 single men and women in the United States, Garcia, Lloyd, Wallen, and Fisher (2014) investigated the differences in occurrence of orgasm (defined as the percentage of the time during sex that one reaches orgasm) with a familiar sexual partner among individuals of various sexual orientations. The results suggested that heterosexual, gay, and bisexual men do not differ in how frequently they experience orgasm. In contrast, significant differences among women of different sexual identities were found, such that lesbians had significantly higher rates of orgasm than self-identified heterosexual and bisexual women, with bisexual women reporting the lowest rate of orgasm. The study provided important new insights into how orgasm experiences differ as a function of sexual orientation. However, there were some methodological issues that limited the application and generalizability of the results. Specifically, the grouping of individuals solely based on their self-identified orientation within the Garcia et al. (2014) study is problematic, as an individual’s self-identified sexual identity does not always accurately predict the gender of their sexual partners (Diamond, 2000; Vrangalova & Savin-Williams, 2010). The study also noted the lack of available information in determining the type of relationship that bisexual participants were reporting on, such that this group of participants within the study was likely a mixture of individuals reporting on same-sex and mixed-sex relationships.”

-“A total of 1,294 individuals accessed the online survey. Of these, 63 did not respond to any questions at all, 115 were removed from the analysis because they indicated that they were not currently in a romantic relationship, 15 did not answer the relevant questions based on a current partner, and 294 did not provide responses to the relevant questions used in the current analysis. There were no significant demographic differences between those who answered the relevant questions and those who did not. The remaining 806 participants ranged in age from 18 to 79, with a mean age of 30 (SD = 10.65). The majority of participants identified as women (61.4%), White (90.1%), and predominantly resided in Canada (38.7%), the United States (45.4%), or other large Western nations (e.g., United Kingdom, Australia; 10.4%).2 Although all of the participants identified as cisgender, 9 (1.1%) indicated that their current partner identified as either a trans man or trans woman. Participants were well educated, with the majority reporting having at least an undergraduate degree, although more than half of the sample (64.2%) reported personal annual incomes less than $36,000.3 Nearly half of the sample reported identifying with the labels gay or lesbian (47.9%), slightly fewer identified as straight (44.3%), and a minority reported identifying as bisexual (5.4%) or unlabeled (2.5%). All participants were in romantic relationships, the average length of which was 52.9 months, or nearly 4.5 years. No participants reported being in multiple relationships at the time of completing the questionnaires. Relationship duration varied greatly, from as little as one week to a maximum of just over 38 years (SD = 68.4 months). Just over half of the relationships were classified as being same sex (51.1%).”

-“The results of this study add further evidence to the literature suggesting that many of the noted gender differences in orgasm rates between men and women may be more clearly explained by differences in preferred and practiced sexual behaviors than by particular biological or physiological sex differences in the “ability” to achieve orgasm.

To the extent that a single physiological process, regardless of whether one is engaging in solo or partnered sexual activities, governs such ability, the results of the current study suggest that any sex differences in orgasm experiences appear to exist only for partnered sexual activity. For example, women reported no difference in the frequency with which they were able to reach orgasm on their own as a function of relationship type, but did report differences in frequency of orgasm during partnered sexual activities. Future research should seek to confirm whether orgasms in women are, indeed, governed by a single physiological process regardless of context (solo versus partnered) to shed more light on whether comparisons between solo and partnered sexual activity and orgasm experiences provide a valid means through which to study sex differences in the ability to reach orgasm.”

- “Not only are women in same-sex relationships reporting greater frequency of orgasm from a greater variety of activities, past research has found that they also report longer durations of individual sexual encounters when compared to their mixed-sex counterparts (Blair & Pukall, 2014). Interestingly, women in mixed-sex relationships in the current study did not differ from those in same-sex relationships when it came to their satisfaction derived from orgasms as a result of self-stimulation, nor did they differ in frequency. However, there were significant differences in the satisfaction and frequency associated with orgasms resulting from their partner’s stimulation of their clitoris and oral sex, such that these orgasms were more satisfying and more frequent among women in same-sex relationships. Together, these patterns support the notion that women in same-sex relationships may simply be more in tune with other women’s bodies and more adept at manipulating other women’s bodies in the way they would their own (Garcia et al., 2014; Frederick, St. John, Garcia & Lloyd, 2017).”

-“ Finally, although groups did not differ in terms of satisfaction derived from partnered sexual activities without orgasm, differences emerged with respect to frequency. That is, women in mixed-sex relationships reported the most frequent partnered sexual activity that did not result in orgasm. These results are partly consistent with previous research, which has found that women are less likely to orgasm during partnered sexual activity than men (e.g., Laumann et al., 1994). However, the results from previous studies may be conflating rates of female orgasm during partnered sexual activity by ignoring the gender of the woman’s partner. Indeed, the results from this study suggest that women in same-sex relationships may be experiencing more orgasms during partnered sexual activity than women in mixed-sex relationships. Despite the difference in frequency of partnered sexual activity without orgasm, there were no differences in terms of the satisfaction derived from partnered sexual activities without orgasm, nor the desire to change the frequency—although the pattern of results (p = .05) did indicate a trend toward women in mixed-sex relationships desiring the experience of sex without orgasm less often. Although it is possible that women may not be distressed by engaging in sexual activity that does not result in orgasm, sexual scripts may again be at play in creating the underlying assumption that women are less likely to achieve orgasm, and therefore sexual activity stops after the man experiences his orgasm (e.g., Potts, 2002).”

-“The results of this study need to be interpreted within the limitations of the sample used, such that the sample was more White than the general population (90%); was quite well educated, although not wealthy; and had access to the means and time necessary to complete an online survey. On average, participants were in established yet still relatively young relationships (4.5 years), and thus the results may not generalize to older populations, more ethnically diverse populations, or to populations outside of Canada, the United States, or other Western cultures. In addition, much of the supporting research referenced throughout the article has also focused on the experiences of those living in Western cultures and therefore may not speak to the experiences of those living beyond such borders.”

- “The results of this study indicate that frequency and satisfaction of sexual behavior and orgasm differ as a function of gender and the gender of one’s partner. The current study adds to a growing body of literature that suggests that women in same-sex relationships have better sex lives than previously thought (Blair & Pukall, 2014; Frederick et al., 2017; Garcia et al., 2014). The term lesbian bed death was introduced in the 1980s to describe the reduced sexual activity that was observed in female same-sex relationships (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983). Corroborating evidence of this decline in sexual activity (Loulan, 1984; Peplau, Cochran, Rook, & Padesky, 1978) lent itself to the widely held assumption that queer women have lower sex drives than heterosexual women (Cohen & Byers, 2014). Recent research, including the present study, has helped put the myth of lesbian bed death to bed (Blair & Pukall, 2014; Cohen & Byers, 2014). In fact, the current results suggest that women in same-sex relationships may offer ideal sexual scripts that individuals in other relationship types may benefit from adopting.”

-“Finally, it is important that sex researchers take into consideration not only the sexual identities/orientations of their sample but also the configurations of their participants’ actual relationships. Sexual identity does not always align perfectly with the gender of one’s partner, with exceptions to the rule always being present, such that a heterosexual woman may find herself dating another woman, while a lesbian may find herself in a relationship with a cisgender or transgender man, and yet still maintain a lesbian identity because it most closely fits their overall experiences (Blair, 2016). Furthermore, not all sexual identities clearly point to a relationship configuration, such as bisexual and queer identities. Consequently, based on the research question at hand, it is important for sex researchers to consider whether sexual identity or relationship type may be better suited as a meaningful grouping variable. In the case of the current study, examining same-sex versus mixed-sex relationship configurations allowed for a better understanding of how sexual activity and orgasm frequency/satisfaction varies as a function of gender and relationship type that would not have been as clear if only relying on sexual identity labels.”

I do not disagree with most of your writing. I think most of the quotes written above prove your points about social norms and have they might influence our satisfaction on sexual pleasure, etc. My only concern about discussions like these is our predefined defintion of the world and the society we live in, which gives us bias toward a particular viewpoint. whether it is social norms or biological norms, that can make our discussion bleek.

I do not think stereotypes, or norms as I would say, are bad as long as we as people can see them, accept them, and understand them, and mitigate against them. Thus, I do not think studies about sex contra the relationship between same-sex couple and mixed-sex couple is bad, as long as we have a good and informed sexual education to contra that believe that men should be tough and women should not have the desire to have sex, etc. None of the studies above have that viewpoint. Thus the point is, we should have more open discussions and more important, informed discussions about sex so people can benefit from it. So we not only learn about the bees and the flowers and the STD’s, but pleasure, how to connect with a partner, fantasies, nudes, BDSM, etc.

Does it makes sense?

Alrighty -- I have an article you guys might find interesting if you guys want to disguise "Lesbian Bed Death", and it might just have something to do with "quality over quantity" 🙃. I can recommend reading: Blair, K. L., & Pukall, C. F. (2014). Can less be more? Comparing duration vs. frequency of sexual encounters in same-sex and mixed-sex relationships. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 23(2), 123-136. or just:

Just from the title I wonder if they don’t come to the same conclusion? That two women might have sex less often but like more “sensual”?

Which is actually what I read so often even here on Tumblr: Sex with women is “better” because it’s like... longer or less about just reaching orgasm and all that... (As opposed to what men are supposed to like: getting “down to business” as fast as possible).

Often automatically associated with the presumption that this is what women prefer and that you even have to kind of feel sorry for heterosexual women that they (presumably) don’t get that so often.

And I think that is such a stereotype, because there might be women who at least at times like it the other way as well and there might be men who prefer “cuddle sex”.

And even if it’s true that statistically sex between women more often is like that and that women statistically in general like it better that way (and men the other way) in my opinion that is still based on what men and women are supposed to like and if you want it the other way you’re considered too “soft” as a man and too “horny” as a woman.

Don’t get me wrong! Thanks a lot for the tipp about this article, it really sounds interesting and seems to contain exactly what we were wondering. And of course it’s interesting to read about that: If there is a general pattern and if so, what might be explanations. (I suppose in a study like that there are also theories on why it might be like that.)

But on the other hand every time there are statistics about anything like this I always wonder what do we get out of the information that “the majority of women prefers this, while the majority of men prefers that”?

1. Maybe they don’t really prefer it but were just taught their whole life that they have to prefer it if they want to be real men/women?

2. What does this tell men/women who prefer it the other way anyway? And is it worth having a statistic like this, if men/women who might struggle with not fulfilling the expectations of their gender anyway now get the official confirmation that they indeed are weird?

Do you get what I mean?

Btw: Is it possible that there is a link missing at the end of your ask?

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