freshfromtherabbithole - Tumblr blog

[freshfromtherabbithole]

why is there such a stigma against wearing pads? like why is it that people who wear tampons are seen as ‘strong’ and ‘cool’? y’all know that someone people can’t wear them bc it hurts them or that they just don’t like them? stop making it seem like people who wear pads are childish and weak compared to those who wear tampons 

[freshfromtherabbithole]

My 20s have been such a rollercoaster I am so glad that they are almost over. I still have quite a bit of stumbling around and knocking things over to do but I feel like I have enough experience now to not make so much of a mess when I do.

[freshfromtherabbithole]

[freshfromtherabbithole]

[freshfromtherabbithole]

[freshfromtherabbithole]

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and

[freshfromtherabbithole]

when it’s 3 am and you’re alone with your thoughts

[freshfromtherabbithole]

but the good news is:

[freshfromtherabbithole]

Diary post #8 Chaos

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

This is and always has been one of my favorite quotes. But it feels like I’ve spent my life pedaling uphill and I’m wondering when I will ever reach the top. I understand and take responsibility for the fact that some of this is my fault. I'm not perfect and I have made some pretty bad decisions along the way, I’ve impulsive rushed into situations that I should have taken my time on, I have sought out chaos when there was none I'm not sure if it was for the thrill of it or if it was because when there is no chaos that it gets so quiet that I can hear all the dark thoughts in my head. But for the last few years all I have wanted is for all the chaos to stop, only it feels like the harder I try the more of it comes my way. When shit hit the fan with my ex-husband I worked so hard to provide for my little family. I worked 3 jobs and sold plasma just to barely make the bills when I finally landed my job with the school district I thought “finally I get to take a little bit of a break” and then a few weeks later my mom shot herself in the head leaving my 2 little sisters orphaned. So I did the right thing, I moved me and my two little ones into an apartment that was big enough for us and my two little sisters and at 25 I became a single mother of 4. That entire first year was dedicated to taking care of my sisters one of which was hell-bent on self-destructing. By the time she moved out my own daughters mental health had deteriorated to the point where normal counseling was not working anymore so we spent a year in an intensive therapy program to get her back on the right track and we did, but shortly after she graduated my sons mental health started to deteriorate and he was starting to have trouble in school, he has since been diagnosed with ADHD… but whatever is going on with him now is not that... My son has struggled with anger since his father stopped being apart of the picture but its like as soon as he had a name to attach his anger to it just got out of control... Or I guess it gave him permission to let everything he was holding back go. I don't know. All I know is that it's one in the morning now and I don't want to go to sleep because I'm afraid of what it's going to be like tomorrow. I feel for my son, I really truly do, he is in so much pain and he so desperately needs help but I don't think he knows how to accept it. He's now in the same therapy program that my daughter was in and I had to use the oncall services practically right after his paperwork was processed. It wasn't really how I planned to meet his case manager, and a couple hours later the situation with my son escalated to the point where the cops were called and my 7-year-old was in handcuffs in the middle of my sisters living room floor.. And after the officers couldn't get him to calm down he was transported to the hospital via ambulance. I am so drained both physically and emotionally at this point I don't know what to do anymore. I try so hard to stay upbeat with him despite everything because I don't ever want to make him feel like I've given up on him, I think if that ever happens it will make it even harder for him to get better. But I just don't know how much longer I can keep going with all of this. The first two years after everything where spent adjusting to some pretty major changes and the next two years are being spent recovering from some pretty severe mental health issues in the two little humans that I made. I really don't know how much more I can take I just really want things to be quiet for a while but I don't see that happening soon.

[freshfromtherabbithole]

[freshfromtherabbithole]

[freshfromtherabbithole]

[freshfromtherabbithole]

[freshfromtherabbithole]

the best way to save money is to act broke

“act” broke

[freshfromtherabbithole]

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

[freshfromtherabbithole]