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hide and seek

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Jane Austen really knew what she was doing in making us swoon when she wrote the line: "My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever."

Mr Darcy's income of ten thousand a year and lovely estate in Derbyshire is nice and all, but the thought of a man actually shutting up if you told him "no" is very appealing indeed...

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Pride and Prejudice 2005 ☼ dir. Joe Wright

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“All right, Snivellus?” said James loudly. Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: Dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, “Expelliarmus!

Snape’s reaction wasn’t just quick—it was survival. How many times, starting at eleven, was he attacked, mocked, and reduced to nothing but the poor kid, targeted for his face and his poverty, turned into a joke by the Marauders? Just how much damage did it take for him to become conditioned to their voices, ready to defend himself at the slightest sound of his bully? Trauma like that doesn’t come from nowhere. And funny, people still say James wasn’t a bully but disarming Snape just for existing?

This wasn’t harmless fun; it was about crushing him.

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Ah, I feel so morally good. My childhood friend is being sexually harassed and humiliated in front of the entire school. But you know what? It's kinda funny. And he said a very bad word to me in the middle of everything. And we've been drifting apart, anyway. So I'll leave and I won't help. And when the sexual harassment evolves to sexual assault, I still won't go back to help. And when I hear about it tomorrow from the entire school gossiping and tittering and pointing at the boy, I won't do anything. And when he comes to apologise for calling me a bad word, I won't forgive him. Because it wasn't right. Because he's being groomed into joining a malevolent cult. And when his bully comes to tell me he's changed, well, I'll date him. Because he's not being groomed into a cult. I'm so morally good.

/s.

Lilly Evans. The moral compass, everybody.

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“How can you love Snape? He bullies kids.”

→ Because I don’t expect a deeply traumatized, unsupported, isolated adult to react with perfect grace in a job he didn’t even want.

Snape isn’t a role model. He’s not supposed to be. He’s a case study in what happens when a person is never given the tools to heal, and is handed responsibility for others before he’s ever learned how to care for himself.

⸻

He didn’t choose to be around children.

He chose to protect, ONE.

And in doing so, he ended up stuck teaching in a school full of the sons and daughters of the people who tormented him, under the watch of a manipulative headmaster, hated by half the school, and still actively risking his life to protect the son of the woman he loved — who looks just like the boy who once made his life hell.

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I reject the idea that kindness and gentleness and love needs to involve a bunch of gentle flowery language

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“And My Soul, Dumbledore?” — The Case for Snape Never Killing Before That Night

We often talk about The Prince’s Tale as the final reveal of Severus Snape’s true loyalties—but there’s a moment in that chapter that gets overshadowed by the big memories, the Patronus, the “Always.” And yet it might be the most damning and revealing line in the entire series.

It’s this:

“And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?”

Let’s sit with that for a second.

Snape is being asked to kill. Not for power, not for punishment, not for vengeance—but out of mercy. Dumbledore is dying. The end is already written. All he’s asking for is dignity.

And Snape balks.

He doesn’t recoil at the strategic risk. He doesn’t flinch at the morality of sparing Dumbledore’s life.

He flinches because of the possibility that this will damage his soul.

This isn’t the voice of a killer.

That one line unearths so much about who Snape is beneath the persona—beneath the spy, the double agent, the snarling teacher. It reveals that he has not taken a life before.

Because if he had? This would be a non-issue. He wouldn’t need to ask. The damage would already be done. The soul, already torn.

But instead, he stops and asks:

Will this be the thing that breaks me?

That’s the cry of a man standing on a line he hasn’t crossed.

And the fact that he still believes in the soul at all is deeply significant.

Let’s compare him to real killers in the series:

• Voldemort doesn’t flinch at murder—he does it for power, to fracture his soul on purpose.

• Bellatrix (and many other Death Eaters) kills for sport.

But Draco, when faced with the same choice, cannot do it. Harry, even in war, casts Expelliarmus.

And Snape—the supposed villain of the early books, the morally ambiguous double agent—asks if his soul will survive it.

He’s not worried about punishment. He’s worried about what killing will do to him.

That is not the thought process of a man with blood on his hands.

Dumbledore’s response is everything:

“You alone know whether it will harm your soul.”

Not “Your soul’s already lost.”

Not “It won’t make a difference.”

Not even “You have no choice.”

Dumbledore leaves it to him.

That means he believes Snape still has something to lose.

He wouldn’t ask this of someone whose soul was already fractured. He asks it of Snape because he knows this will be his first and only kill.

The implication is enormous.

This is a man who has done horrific things. He’s served Voldemort. He’s used dark magic. He’s endangered children.

But he has never killed. Not once.

And when he finally does, it’s to:

• Honour a dying man’s wishes.

• Spare a child’s soul (Draco’s).

• End suffering, not prolong it.

And even then, it tears at him.

So what does that make him?

A villain? An anti-hero? A deeply damaged man trying to atone? Maybe all of the above.

But not a murderer.

Not by choice. Not by pattern.

Just once. And it nearly breaks him.

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Gifsets of Severus Snape

{8/?}

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STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK | 1980

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You look like mama❤️

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Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi 1983, dir. Richard Marquand

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sometimes star wars is unsubtle in a bad way and sometimes luke skywalker is dragging his father’s dead weight across the death star floor, sobbing from love and exhaustion

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Star Wars: A New Hope dir. George Lucas | 1977

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STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE

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in fics where luke gets plopped into the prequels i want every jedi within ten metres of him to think hes the weirdest jedi theyve ever seen. he has negative lightsaber form. he doesnt know what a kata is. he handstands when he meditates. his solution to sith is to try and have a chat. hes a political radical who keeps suggesting revolution. you ask him what the jedi code is and he says "kindness and compassion and helping those in need :) ". you ask how he used the force like that and he says some shit about how you are a luminous being limited only by your mind. the councils authority is just a suggestion. he is somehow the new favourite of both qui gon and yoda

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I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi - like my father.