Just a girl seeking for herself between the pages, documenting that search.christian | 19 | law major | infj | literature, gothic, God, love, dark academia
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i'm not the best at singing. but i'm gonna sing anyway dude. i'm not the best at painting. but i'm still going to paint. my dancing will never see a stage. but it's perfect for early mornings in my bedroom and late nights with people i love. so what does this mean? it means that people are designed to do. not to be the best. just to do. if you're doing what you enjoy, then you don't have to be the best. you just have to enjoy it. you have to live.
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Joan of Arc wearing armour and mounted upon a horse at the head of her troops
by Jules Prater
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„My Year of Rest and Relaxation” by Otessa Moshfegh — Book Review #6
My stars: 3/5⭐️ A young woman in her early 20s decides to sleep through one year of her life in order to rest and get a break from the world she hates. The year is 2000/2001, and she tries to navigate her despicable emotions, as well as her relationship with her so-called best friend. I though for sure it would be an amazing, deeply interesting and intellectual read. Well... "My year of rest and relaxation" isn't exactly that.
The story follows an unnamed young woman in New York, who is in a very privileged position — she is white, educated, beautiful and has money inherited from her parents. Despite her seemingly having everything, she still finds herself unhappy. She is also very, very unpleasant; her perspective is dripping with contempt and anger towards everyone and everything. While I personally enjoyed looking at the world through her eyes, it should be kept in mind that a lot of people will be bored/annoyed by the narration, and will find the book as a whole unbearable. She was touched by personal tragedy — death of both parents — and struggled to find deep and real, raw friends and lovers, which undoubtedly contributed to her depression. The only friend she has is Reva, a girl she met while they were in college.
Her relationship with Reva is not the best either, as it is rooted in jealousy of Reva and disdain of the main character towards her friend. Both girls cannot stand one another, however, they still cling to their friendship. Reva is the only one visiting the narrator and it is through those visits that we discover more facts about the life of the main character, as each conversation and interaction between them triggers memories or long monologues on certain topics. I personally found the portrayal of this dynamic really close to what I have experienced, as certain aspects of such friendships are very common amongst girls, especially when they're younger — hate and envy are what drove a lot of the girls I encountered in primary and secondary schools. The novel allows the reader to reflect on this particular issue, while not directly imposing a take on it.
Although I found the study of depression and the overall idea behind sleeping through a year very good & interesting (plus there were some funny, absurd moments with the psychiatrist), my main reservation towards this novel is it lacks depth and only poses as an intellectual take on certain subjects — in reality it is a shallow conversation between the author and reader. It was also very repetitive, particularly due to the vain of the main character. I come from a similarly privileged background, however I couldn't really feel the connection to the narrator on that ground, nor the question of "can the privileged be depressed and unhappy?" seemed particularly original, fresh. Mostly, the novel was just a mix of unpleasant thoughts of the main character that did not lead to anything. Furthermore, the ending could have easily been discarded, as it literally added no value to the story and evolution of the character whatsoever; she was still the same and the perspective of the reader on the entire story remained unchanged. A shame, really.
To conclude, I expected the novel, so widely praised on every platform over the last few years, to be better, or at least to give me more — to tackle important topics and not merely brush over them, open a deep discussion (as the issues are serious and quite important in my opinion), show another perspective on the subject... Literally anything. Nevertheless, I found "My year of rest and relaxation" to be quite engaging and hence the three stars, not less.
The picture at the beginning is mine. Feel free to reuse, repost.
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"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there
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girl who finally is going back to reading by finishing one book: now i'm going to read all the books in the world.
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mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately
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crazy how I think I'm not brave enough to do some things and then I just go and get them done. and it's always like this
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not normal about orpheus and eurydice. you loved someone so much it opened the stones of the underworld. so much that death had to listen. so much that everything stopped for your love. so much that you turned around. so much that even when you did wrong. she forgave you.
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platonic third base: when you get to know someone well enough that they start making mortifyingly specific observations about you
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