frankieroreleasethehounds - Tumblr blog

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

People who are like “asking for consent ruins the moment” have no imagination.

Like, I’m sorry, but purring “do you want it?” into your partner’s ear before you fuck is hot.

Looking into your partner’s eyes and asking “may I?” in a voice breathy with desire before you kiss them is super hot.

and “Do you want me to pin you up against this wall and fuck you till you’re screaming my name?” is just basically dirty talk.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you?  If asking for consent ruins sex you’re what?  A rapist who sucks at talking dirty?  

Is that a demographic whose fun we care about ruining?

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous– and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while.

i’d just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i’d overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home.

this girl’s eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren’t reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i’m feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said “dinner, y’know?”

for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion,

the fucking crickets started chirping.

so i guess i’m never going back there ever again.

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

remember how malia obama never tweeted incriminating emails of herself colluding with foreign powers. i miss that.

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

“Get Help”

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

no offense but marinas “AT LEAST I THINK I DO!” singlehandedly saved the music industry

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

Dashcon 2014.

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

Getting misty-eyed imagining the future: spaceships exploring strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations, going boldly &c., &c., all while triumphantly bearing “ARSE” in large letters on their hulls.

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

you know what? the years really do start coming and they really don’t stop coming

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

[frankieroreleasethehounds]

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[frankieroreleasethehounds]

[frankieroreleasethehounds]