francismaniac

[francismaniac]

I request to kill this miserable version of me in exchange of a new one. Its not that I can't deal, it's more of a pain in the ass to deal. Technically, yeah. I can't deal "me".

I have to die. This version of me have to die.

Pissed off all the time, dumb asf, can't do shit, cry whenever there's a chance. Currently I'm complaining and that's what I hate about myself too like stfu

Everyone has their own problems to deal with and wtf are you doing thinking you're bigger than everyone because oh you're so important. Everyone is important.

Stop complaining and move forward dipshit. Who cares if you're normal. You're just unfortunated to be normal, hence why you're healthy in this sort of stuff. You're physically an xx, not an xy. That's where the xx get off to. I understand its disgusting so do something other than that to rise the dopamine instead then.

You're not greatful, you're selfish.

Change that. Acknowledge.

You can do better.

[francismaniac]

If this is how it's going to be, I'll exchange this humiliation for scholarship in Taiwan.

Deal.

[francismaniac]

I lost 1$, total 6$ lost bcs I used a pocket

[francismaniac]

God you NEVER LEARN.

Are you fucking kidding me.

You're fucking pathetic.

You don't even remember shit like this.

You only know useless fucking dumb shit that you yourself don't even like.

Fuck you

I hate you

I hate you

I hate you so fucking much

Miserable piece of human garbage

Fuck you and your self esteem

Kill yourself

Depression my ass

Pathetic

I'M TRYING TO DO BETTER FOR YOU AND YOU KEEP GOING BACK DOWN TO WHERE YOU'RE THE SHITIEST??

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?????

God

You and me are the same person so don't dissapoint me you fucking asshole

It's just the morning and you already fucke

[francismaniac]

Bad morning, I hope everything goes well after this bad inconvenience throughout the day.

I hate humiliation

I'm sooooo pissed

[francismaniac]

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get. Out. Of. My. Head.

[francismaniac]

You've been very depressed lately, yet there's no help around you. You are dealing this your own.

[francismaniac]

God damn I should shut the fuck up lmao

[francismaniac]

I am depressed

I would be happy to disappear anytime.

I don't need to be known for my disappearance.

I don't need to be remembered

I don't want to be identified

I want to be nothing

I don't want to own anything

I don't need to mark anything

I don't want anything

I don't need them

I don't even know am I real anymore

If I want to, I'd prefer to just be a grim reaper

I want to be there for someone's last day on earth

Even if they can't see me, they feel a presence of something nearby

I want to love myself

I want to be selfish for me

I want to be my own admirer

I want to idolise myself

I want to fall in love with myself

I want to think I only need to depend on myself

I hate sex

I hate physical self pleasure

I hate feelings

I hate emotions

I hate lust

Leave me alone please,

I'm not weak,

I'm just too hard on myself and I put my own expectations too high for my own standard.

Never pity me.

Don't.

[francismaniac]

Why??????????? WHY??? ??? ????????????

[francismaniac]

Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it

[francismaniac]

MONDAY, JANUARY 17, 2022 : 8.17AM

I lied.

I lied to everyone saying I was sick when in fact I just don't feel like seeing anyone.

I was so depressed with my result but whining doesn't help either so why can't I just shut the fuck up

Every bad thoughts, I beat myself up until there's bruises.

I always thought self harm is dumb and here I am doing the same thing.

I'm greatful of a friend who stayed with me until now, I'm lucky to have a friend like them.

My parents are both supportive and doesn't want much from me.

I just, felt pressure in this fast paced world.

I wanted to be the best for my family.

Now I'm probably having imposter syndrome, I don't deserve to be sad.

My former dream was to be a comic artist. But there are much more people who are better than me.

So I thought I'll be a doctor, but the process is just too hard for me.

A psychologist? Everyone wants to be that.

I also want my parent to feel the need to brag to their friends about my success.

Now, I'm just here whining without doing anything.

2.42PM

I slept until 1.30PM and my head hurts like hell.

I was just too depressed to be awake that I didn't even eat.

This headache is a pain and I want to eliminate it ASAP. I hate pain.

I love myself...

[francismaniac]

MONDAY, JANUARY 17, 2022 : 8.17AM

I lied.

I lied to everyone saying I was sick when in fact I just don't feel like seeing anyone.

I was so depressed with my result but whining doesn't help either so why can't I just shut the fuck up

Every bad thoughts, I beat myself up until there's bruises.

I always thought self harm is dumb and here I am doing the same thing.

I'm greatful of a friend who stayed with me until now, I'm lucky to have a friend like them.

My parents are both supportive and doesn't want much from me.

I just, felt pressure in this fast paced world.

I wanted to be the best for my family.

Now I'm probably having imposter syndrome, I don't deserve to be sad.

My former dream was to be a comic artist. But there are much more people who are better than me.

So I thought I'll be a doctor, but the process is just too hard for me.

A psychologist? Everyone wants to be that.

I also want my parent to feel the need to brag to their friends about my success.

Now, I'm just here whining without doing anything.

2.42PM

I slept until 1.30PM and my head hurts like hell.

I was just too depressed to be awake that I didn't even eat.

This headache is a pain and I want to eliminate it ASAP. I hate pain.

I love myself...

[francismaniac]

MONDAY, JAN 17, 2022 : 3.58AM - 4.17AM

。

我沒有讀書.

我這兩天沒讀書.

昨晚告訴自己不收拾東西為了明早晨2.30AM 醒來. 醒來了，可是睡回多20分. 2.44AM才真的醒來，去做該做的. 我也幫我的化學考卷做改正. 我其實可以在上個星期六改，只是我騙了自己說明天再改，又明天，今天才終於改正了. 改也只改點點而已，好失望.

臨時抱佛腳

我好討厭自己為什麽會這樣，明明��夢想說要做聰明的人，為什麼不要加油？？？？？？

為什麼？為什麼？為什麼？為什麼？為什麼？

我不是讀書的料嗎？？為什麼我頭腦真沒用？是我自己的錯，對自己太好了嗎？

我想專心上課，竟然睡覺，真沒禮貌.

老師看起來都放棄我了.

我好生氣，好傷心，好失望.

這是什麼腦筋有問題的吗？我好討厭幫自己自我诊断說有ADHD.

我又不是很坐立不安，只是太正的話不動不說話，我會悶死.

就算有醫生诊断我真的有病，他們是不會理的.

你不會，不管我的事

說好有什麼問題請問老師，老師不會回覆，等明早上課才叫你去前面找他.

至少他有教吧

可是我那天問的話，我不想等答案.

真煩

[francismaniac]

Oh how I wish I'm naturally asexual. Fuck being sexual active.

Because of that I hate myself I hate you so much, so fucking much.

[francismaniac]

SATURDAY, 15 JAN 2022

。。。

我... 我得了5分...

我的化學... 5分... 在100分裡得5分.

我好尴尬... 好傷心... 我有那麼差嗎？

我不應該告訴自己很累，我一點都不累.

是我自己的錯，是我沒有好好讀書.

我好討厭這樣的我，不努力.

明明有夢���，結果不好好做而只會大夢.

TA都沒有再繼續讀科學了，我不知道要怎麼辦.

我對科學很有興趣，可是我本人不到那品格.

我本來只是想和TA，學TA，跟TA...

怎麼辦...

[francismaniac]

哈哈哈哈

做物理客观问题做到半夜12点，要回选做题时链接TMD过期了

我想生气不过，我还是给自己个赞for好好做完而不是乱猜

做的好，小伙子！