francesjo - Tumblr blog

[francesjo]

This is giving me feelings

consider: aperture as a popular workplace for trans people in the 50s-60s because they’d help you transition, in whatever way you wanted, no questions asked

bill from accounting is brenda now? cool, if she made it out of the lab without antennae and her blood is still blood, we’re happy for her

[francesjo]

Not feeling queer enough for pride

[francesjo]

I came out to a roomful of people for the first time.

It was at a party of like ten other women where I was the only Male, sexual tension was in the air among them, tits were coming out, they were kissing each other and playing spin the bottle truth or dare. And my partner got asked "why do you call yourself a lesbian if you're with him?"

She started to make excuses and I couldn't make her lie anymore. So I told them.

The proximity to queer female sexuality is so important to me and I was so tired of feeling like I didn't belong in that room. Tired of being so aware of my differences and of making my partner lie. So in one fell swoop I doubled the number of people in the world who know.

They were kind and accepting and understanding and honored I told them and it was wonderful and I don't feel any better.

I still don't feel like I belong with them. I'm so aware of how my presence makes their flirting awkward. I can't flash people so casually and have it mean anything.

I feel like I'm trapped behind a glass wall looking in on the experiences I want.

[francesjo]

The urge to be surrounded by lesbians is equal parts overpowering and so out of reach

[francesjo]

Mood: sobbing uncontrollably when "I'm Just A Girl" unexpectedly plays during the Captain Marvel climax

Help

[francesjo]

I feel like I don't have permission to go looking for any potential partner in any space at all.

I hate bars, I hate poly spaces because they're full of gross straight poly guys, I hate spaces for trans women because any reminder of trans-ness reminds me I'm not a cis girl, I can't be out as whatever I am in my day to day and I hate being seen as a cis guy and nobody I'd be interested in would be interested in a cis guy anyway.

I want to be welcome in places populated exclusively by cis lesbians, but I cannot possibly expect to be and don't feel like I even should be welcome there.

I don't know what to do. I feel like the only solution is asking my partner to do the legwork, but that's not fair to ask plus feels really unicorn-hunter-y.

I don't know that I'll ever feel good about this and I'm tired of being lonely and starved of the experiences I crave. I don't know that I don't fetishize cis lesbianism and that might make me feel grossest yet but I still crave it and can't go get it myself.

I don't know what hope I have.

[francesjo]

.

[francesjo]

God I wish I was gayer

[francesjo]

I am not trans Trans is related to gender Gender is a meaningless social construct related to how one presents in culture That's not my issue My issue is related to my body, my phenotypes, my genitals, my form, everything gender is not I am not trans I'm just wrong

[francesjo]

What could have been

[francesjo]

I MAY have accidentally given myself a chemical burn on the testicle while nairing my legs

[francesjo]

I like shaving my legs. I do not like razor burn.

[francesjo]

I’m not sure about the 100% part but I still really needed this

if you’re a trans lesbian and you’re reading this, you deserve the world. twerfs are gross and you are 100% a woman-born-woman, and a lesbian. nothing about you is male. you’re a woman, and you belong in the lesbian community. no twerf can change that fact.

-mod key

[francesjo]

Life goals

PJO FEMSLASH WEEK • DAY 1 • Pipeynabeth: First Date •

Piper and Reyna were already dating. One day they were hanging out with Annabeth, who was single at the time. They told her that they were both polyamorous and started to explain what it meant but Annabeth just said: “Oh I know, I’m poly too”

The other girls already knew that Annabeth was bi and they realized that this was their chance. Reyna asked: “Would you like to come on a date with us someday?” “How about tomorrow? We’re planning on going to the beach” Piper added. Annabeth looked surprised at first, but slowly a smile spread across her face. “Sure”, she said. “It’s been a long time since I was on a date with anyone. It’ll be fun.”

Piper and Reyna high-fived each other. They all knew that this was the start of something special.

[francesjo]

Being inwardly transfemininine makes it worse

There is no way for an even outwardly seemingly heterosexual couple to seek girls who will like both of them for threesomes and any kind of emotional relationship without looking like skeevy slimeball creeps at worst or unicorn hunters at best but dammit we’re really lonely.

[francesjo]

Shoutout to polyamorous lesbians y'all rock

[francesjo]

I hate their insecurity, I hate their fear, I hate their territoriality, I hate their jealousy, I hate their competitiveness, I hate the way they feel like they own the fucking world and above all I hate that I share all these feelings.

I hate men

I hate men.

I hate men. I hate men. I hate men.

I hate men.