formerfbiagentbatman

[formerfbiagentbatman]

Adidas campaign ph. Jeff Mermelstein (2006)

[formerfbiagentbatman]

New carseatheadrest merch dropped

[formerfbiagentbatman]

[formerfbiagentbatman]

Indian Bull Frog

[formerfbiagentbatman]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[formerfbiagentbatman]

I asked dr house his opinion on the male loneliness epidemic and he told me to kill myself

[formerfbiagentbatman]

The only example of straight oppression is the fact that Amsterdam for straight people is associated with the red light district where generally straight men can pay for sex with beautiful European women. However, for gay people, Amsterdam has a legal gay cruising, clothing optional section of a park where gay men can have sex for free in public.

[formerfbiagentbatman]

I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.

[formerfbiagentbatman]

yeah, id like a large hand tossed pepperoni pizza with cinnamon sauce on the crust instead of garlic oil, oh and, please don't let that transgender delivery driver slice my pizza.

[formerfbiagentbatman]

i don't like john mulaney because he invited dave chappelle on stage with him after deeply praising him at the height of the transphobic controversy around him after his netflix special but i cant say stuff like hope he dies lest people think i'm in the camp of people that hate him because he got a divorce for some reason

[formerfbiagentbatman]

i love when people say “dopamine addiction” to refer to anything that makes you feel good ever

[formerfbiagentbatman]

[formerfbiagentbatman]

i hope someone kills elon musk in the street. i hope he bleeds out and dies without dignity or honor. 

[formerfbiagentbatman]

transmedicalist sad sack, conservative, anti gay marriage, anti trans rights, murderer Caitlyn Jenner saying things like "I would never wish this on anyone" in reference to being trans. i hate her so fucking much. such a lame bitch, I wish transgenderism on EVERYONE

[formerfbiagentbatman]

the thing about the house episode where chase kills a dictator is that the bizarre part isnt even that chase would kill someone if asked (entirely consistent with previous characterization) or that he gets away with it (youre watching house md) but that he does it out of moral considerations (has never exhibited those before)

[formerfbiagentbatman]

House has definitely sent Wilson a dick pic or several but he sends them by email because they are both old men and the titles are things like ‘URGENT: please identify if lung cancer’ or ‘patient biopsy results - respond ASAP’ so that Wilson’s guilt complex makes him feel obligated to open each one just in case someone’s life is actually on the line

[formerfbiagentbatman]

the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating