after a productive therapy session yesterday, this sad and embarrassing thought went through my mind -
simple plan's song "perfect" perfectly (for lack of a better word) summarizes the core of who i was growing up and how i still move/interact with the world and with people as an adult
oops my millennial is showing
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not me sitting here when all of a sudden, the ending to âaftersunâ pops up into the forefront of my brain and iâm suddenly fighting back tears
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TRIANGLE OF SADNESS (2022) dir. Ruben Ăstlund
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âThis photograph of Joni Mitchell skating across Lake Mendota in Wisconsin is unreal to me. I love the negative space in the photo, and how it gives the sense of total freedom.â
© Joel Bernstein, 1976
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wish ppl would remember that gaslighting is a very specific form of deliberate psychological abuse meant to get someone to doubt themself and their memories and not just âsomeone telling me iâm wrong or disagreeing with meâ
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i hate when people say, "you need to forgive to heal/move on". no I do not. that motherfucker doesn't deserve my forgiveness + you can't forgive someone who's not sorry. they were supposed to protect me but instead they permanently damaged me. they do not deserve my forgiveness.
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âWithout Sister Rosetta Tharpe, we wouldnât have rock and roll as we know it now. Her pioneering guitar virtuosity was fueled by the gospel swinging, shouting, holy-spirit energy of the evangelical church and the blues she heard on Chicagoâs Maxwell Street, which crossed each other like crackling live wires in her hands â and boom, weâre at the beginning of the revolution that would later be widely and wrongly attributed, almost entirely, to the white teens and young men who emulated her. â - Cheryl Pawelski
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itâs hard to articulate your happiness when most of your life youâve been made to feel there wasnât room for you to express it, or made to believe you were living oh so miserably and oh so hopeless...
the world of difference it makes to finally be in a safe, healthy and loving place that i can finally give myself permission to be unapologetically happy.
i no longer have to look for moments where i can sigh with relief. iâve arrived.
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a few months into moving in with my partner, fun stories/moments similar to this one have become a regular occurrence. and it is one of my favourite things ever.
one of the first few times this happened was when i was up very late working away when she got up (seemingly fully conscious) and asked me what time it was. i clearly remember it being 3:30am because she responded with, âhaha you mean thicc thirtyâ before falling back asleep as if nothing happened.
typical. making me laugh even when sheâs half asleep.
apparently this morning my wife heard me make a noise in my sleep and she asked me if i was okay and i just responded with "yeah, i'm just pissed off" and promptly fell asleep again. like i was dead asleep and just fucking hating still i guess. the grind never stops
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#the original wednesday addams dance move
The Addams Family (1964 - 1966)
Wednesday (2022- )
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when dermot kennedy said âmy sense of wonder is a little tiredâ and when dermot kennedy said âso hold me when iâm home, keep the evenings longâ and when dermot kennedy said âsorrow wonât be finding me no moreâ and âlove is all about the wind, how it can hold me up and kill me in the endâ and âthis life, this love is briefâ and
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Okay. Come on, then. I love you, get up, we are going to keep going. Repeat this to yourself in a mirror or in a whisper or in the shower or in a shout. I love you, get up, keep going.
I am tired too. It's okay. We will sleep in the car ride over. We will sleep on each other's shoulders. We will sleep upside down and in the laps of new friends and on the bellies of our lovers and in the hands of better tomorrows. We will sleep and we will wake up rested and we will wake up happy and we will wake up home again.
I love you, get up. It's time to write "maybe next time" on our gravesite. It's time to write: it could not kill me, I would not die. It's time to write a love letter to the sun and our one-act play and the history of our keychains. It is time to write a future where despite everything, we are finally warm and safe.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Get up. Keep going. We are going to be okay.
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