forestdwellingrat

[forestdwellingrat]

Pickles gave himself a bald spot from shoving his head through the cardboard box to eat the cat food yesterday

[forestdwellingrat]

The sizzling sound of coke in my hand is hypnotic to Escobar

[forestdwellingrat]

[forestdwellingrat]

Looking nasty today sir

[forestdwellingrat]

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

[forestdwellingrat]

im obsessed

[forestdwellingrat]

Maybe this therapy shit is working

[forestdwellingrat]

I mean you've threatened to kill me a bunch of times. You once told me you were gonna drown me in a river like a kangaroo.

[warm laugh of fond reminiscence] I did do that

[forestdwellingrat]

it sucks that even todo lists get affected by the adhd 'absorption of stationary objects into their environment thus leading to effective invisibility' thing

[forestdwellingrat]

every time i make vodka sauce, the peppermint twist vodka on the high shelf in my kitchen calls to me like the green goblin mask

[forestdwellingrat]

Me when I’m right

[forestdwellingrat]

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

[forestdwellingrat]

My uncle got a notification that someone was ringing his doorbell. This was the culprit. 

(Source)

[forestdwellingrat]

Literally sobbing. A judge, a US judge defended us. A judge brought up intersex people, uaing the term intersex, to *defend* us by not allowing our erasure. I'm having a lot of feelings right now

[forestdwellingrat]

They should install public grappling hook points

[forestdwellingrat]

Staying at a somewhat shitty hotel. Can’t get on the wifi. Tell the front desk. They have no IT support so the desk guy just gives me the admin password. Tells me “that should work. It’s just you and me using it.” Imagining the two of us skipping through the world wide web holding hands