fmdyunseo

[fmdyunseo]

𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 !

he’s more than a little drunk, with drunken being a look that yunseo wore seldom, it was an exceptionally ill fit. when drinking with his members he always stopped himself short of drunk, tipsy was as careless as he liked to get. with so much on the line, and with the complex that lent his thoughts to presuming they needed him constantly (some might call it white knighting, he called it supportive), it was more than rare. he was in his apartment with feet propped up, soju and cheap wine both coloring his cheeks and words. with phone in hand he tries to dial a number he knows by heart (though he could select it from contacts, he’s too drunk to consider it) and without waiting for a voice on the other end, the moment the ringing ceases, he slurs into the receiver, “it’s your birthday right?” his tone is quiet and modest as always, with deep, mellow tones, were it not for the waiver of his syllables beneath the weight of soju, he might pass for sober. true, drunk calling some stranger on accident doesn’t account for sobriety, but at least he was exceptionally almost passing. “i’ve been wanting to call for a long time,” he admits (to the wrong person, at the wrong time, with no context what-so-ever) “i’m sorry it’s been so long since last time.” he continues his sentence like a car with no off-ignition until he’s ran out of gas, and sinks into his couch to await a reply with tired, drunken heavy eyes.

[fmdyunseo]

need new threads for @fmdyunseo and for @fmddaeil, like this post for me to hit up inboxes and try to get some plotting done! most of their prior plots have been dropped and they’re both so low on threads !

[fmdyunseo]

dawon

“Talking is just fine,” Dawon assured Yunseo with a small, lopsided smile. They’d had such a rocky start at the beginning, looking back he was pretty sure his fifteen-year-old self would’ve looked bewildered at the knowledge that one day, Origin’s leader would be the first person he’d seek out when feeling the pre-performance jitters (that felt quite a bit like earthquakes, really). They’d come a long way from where they’d started. Back in 2012 he probably wouldn’t have dared to ask Yunseok anything, let alone if he wanted to spend time with him without some sort of company-dictated reason.

“A future track isn’t serious things?” His tone lightened a little and the younger idol stifled a laugh into one of his sleeves. “I’m sorry, I’m taking this seriously, I promise,” he quickly added, though the lightness that had come with his laughter lingered for a little longer. “You’d want me to work on a track with you?” Dawon asked a little more seriously this time. “I’m… not really a lyricist. The stuff I write won’t work in songs and all of that…” He shrugged a little helplessly. “But I’d… really love to try, if you’re willing to kind of drag me along.” He lowered his gaze, shuffled on the spot.

Dawon’s thing had always been prose, if anything. He wouldn’t consider himself much of a writer, more just someone who took any creative outlet for his feeling that he could find. Writing, much like photography and, if he was to be honest, the very first beginning steps he’d taken with his singing, all of it had started out self-taught, built on what he’d seen around him and then promptly tried to recreate. The process all of that took with music, however, had somehow always been oddly hard, considered all of the separate pieces (a good ear for pitch and rhythm, natural musicality, a somewhat solid sense of language) were present. It was a bit embarrassing, in a way. But Yunseo had seen him in far more embarrassing situations in the past. That fear of his, unlike his performance anxiety or the panic he felt under extreme pressure, had faded with time and the ease they’d developed.

“not too serious,” he counters in a lighthearted way he would only do with a member, with dawon to be specific these days. “making music is just my whole life,” he jokes and this time it sounds like it, his smile soft and faded like the first strokes of watercolor on his otherwise usually blank canvas. “we don’t have to worry about specifics for now i just wanted to keep you in mind.” he pushes his hands into his pockets and thinks about the music his group makes together, the tracks that make the cut, the ones that don’t. tracks he works on with his members, ones he makes together. it’s too much thought for the space between dawon’s words and he loses track of his reminiscing to listen a bit more carefully. “don’t need to be good at that to work on something with me.” he thinks about how to word things, not being good with this sort of thing has become a staple. but yunseo feels a need to try, channels the white noise of his thoughts, his smile long ago dropped and now he looks thoughtful, “we’ll just do things as we always do,” he pauses for effect, “together.” it’s firmly spoken, a statement of trust, of fact.

they had become closer than usual since their vacation, since dawon had acted as a conductor to keep yunseo plugged into reality like a current. he can’t help but feel affectionate, the way his eyes soften in severity reflect that. over the years he had learned to read his team in colors like traffic lights. he had come to recognize the flash of caution when dawon needed him and it’s in his nature to brace for dawon’s habit of seeking him out. but sometimes he mixes up the act and service of protecting his loved ones with the pleasure of it. at times, it becomes a job to take care of origin. he had been feeling that with several of the members, the burden of fixing them that he had taken onto himself, that was a fixture of his personality yet a flaw of it. at least with dawon, there would always be a joy in it, somehow. something simple, not profound. “or maybe you can take the cover photo for my mini.” he thinks of it like a light bulb flickering on. he doesn’t care if it’s allowed, he’d have gold star see the reasoning in it. besides, their ability to create their own content was their appeal, right?

[fmdyunseo]

[fmdyunseo]

artemisia

📱 : well 📱 : toe socks are a lot of things. 📱 : they’re warm, fluffy 📱 : and they don’t talk back to me so i can speak whatever shit i want to them 📱 : therapeutic, you know 📱 : and sure sure, if you’re not in love you’re not in love 📱 : no one knows better than you yourself 📱 : i mean…if people are important to you then they naturally will deserve to stay in your music and on your mind.  📱 : its not bad to not let go of thoughts 📱 : remind me again why am i counselling you? 

〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: Don’t you just say whatever you want to others without worrying anyway? That’s become your brand. 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: I said I’m not. 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: Sometimes thoughts should be let go of. Just like how sometimes you shouldn’t tell people things like how you write music for your group about toe socks. Some things are best left in the silence of our minds. 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: That’s a very good question. Maybe I’m the crazy one for going to you about it of all people. Silly girl.

[fmdyunseo]

[fmdyunseo]

𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘰 𝘢𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘴   :    𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹   ::    𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙗𝙚𝙨  

𝗶𝘀𝗳𝗷. 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗹. 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗥.  𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿.  ➪  

deeply intuitive and sentimental, cancer can be one of the most challenging zodiac signs to get to know. they are very emotional and sensitive, and care deeply about matters of the family and their home. they sympathetic and attached to people they keep close. extremely loyal and able to empathize with other people's pain and suffering.

[fmdyunseo]

jiae

[ ✉️→ 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 😊❤️ ] : well if you agree i guess the stylist did a good job [ ✉️→ 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 😊❤️ ] : because we all know the demographic they’re trying to reach w/ me is 100% male. [ ✉️→ 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 😊❤️ ] : you? exaggerate? i’m shocked. [ ✉️→ 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 😊❤️ ] : i know what you mean. it’s hard for me to separate those memories from the you i see on stage.

〚 𝗷𝗶𝗮𝗲 〛: I’d say they did. It suits you. 〚 𝗷𝗶𝗮𝗲 〛: I don’t exaggerate much, don’t get used to it. 〚 𝗷𝗶𝗮𝗲 〛: It was a time long ago by now. 〚 𝗷𝗶𝗮𝗲 〛: It’s useless to hold onto them, just like it’s useless to keep talking to me now, as if we’ll ever be close again the way we were before. 〚 𝗷𝗶𝗮𝗲 〛: Don’t you think, Jiae? 〚 𝗷𝗶𝗮𝗲 〛: Sometimes I think about things like that.

[fmdyunseo]

artemisia‌

📱 : i do 📱 : and don’t call me jueun 📱 : i don’t like my name. 📱 : certain people…are you sure you aren’t hit in the head with that whatever love sickness bug thing 📱 : in other words are you in love 📱 : because why would you keep thinking of certain people 📱 : its not. i still write about socks even though i try to stop myself sometimes.

〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: I don’t understand that but, whatever works for you I guess. 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: It isn’t that I’m in love... 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: Thinking like this comes naturally to me. I want to stop...People don’t always deserve to stay in my music or on my mind. It’s hard to let go of thoughts for me, I’m the type who lingers. 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: how do you find inspiration from toe socks? What could possibly make sense about that?

[fmdyunseo]

[fmdyunseo]

chanmi‌

chanmi could say with absolute conviction and assurance that she was the happiest she’d been in a very, very long time. not only had her debut the previous year done well, but her most recent release had done even better, climbing the charts and bringing in not only sales, but a broader audience. a broader audience meant more fans, and more fans meant that chanmi was actually doing something right. that her parents and siblings were wrong - she could be successful dedicating her life to dancing and performing. she had never been one for gloating or being prideful, but there was a large part of her that wanted to rub it in her family’s faces - and the faces of everyone who ever doubted her. she wanted to see the looks on her parents’ faces when they realized that she was just as successful as her siblings, doing the exact same thing they never wanted her to do. 

she was so happy that she didn’t even mind the heavy schedules she had. she didn’t mind how exhausted she was when she retired home late in the evening, only to wake back up to a day filled with activities early the following morning. a lot of work was better than no work, and she’d keep taking on everything bc entertainment gave her without complaint. she wanted to debut, she wanted the fame, so she was going to work hard to obtain and keep it. she trained for nine years to get to that point, she wasn’t going to let a little exhaustion keep her down. 

it helped that she had a great circle of friends that were her support system. they gave her the strength to keep going. yunseo was one of the ones that she felt especially close to. she’d met him when she first became a gold star trainee and she’d been sticking to him ever since then. it was not surprising to find her hanging around his apartment at any given time, a place that she had quickly grown to see as her second home. “i got us a few bottles of wine!” she announced as she sat the bags on the kitchen counter, emptying the bottles along with a few food ingredients. “i wasn’t sure what you wanted to cook for dinner, so i got the basics and we can figure out where we go from there!” 

he had been working hard, in peace. often times, his members message, managers message, his mind implores. yunseo’s thoughts rarely quiet entirely, though they are focused whispers he’s capable of ignoring but never does. it had been a lonely night for him before her. isn’t it always? he paused in the act of cleaning his kitchen counters (already clean but he was fidgeting as he worked through the details of a to-be-written track in his head), busying himself, when she popped in. the door always open to her, after these years, it was more familiar with her than most, in truth. he gave her a startled look that turned into a mellow, pleased smile. throwing down his cleaning supplies, watching her stroll across the room with items that he no doubt wouldn’t think of getting himself. she looks out for him that way. perhaps that’s why he feels protective of her, welcoming, open arms to her when normally he holds an opposite stance. he leans his hips against the counter, crosses his arms as he watches her distribute the bags contents onto the counter he had only just cleaned. his smile immovable. “i wasn’t expecting you yet.” though he had been, generally. they have precious and rare time together when schedules line up. he frequently makes time to spend with her alone this way. maybe it’s better this way. that he didn’t have to exactly schedule the time, only mentioned he wanted to see her, and then poof, she appears. a cloud floating back into his empty sky. “i’ll cook.” he tells her with intent, firm and warm with it’s subtle affection as he pushes himself up and drifts towards her.

she’s so much smaller than him, he engulfs an arm around her, brushes her shoulders, his chest against her back, to reach ingredients. quickly and concisely, he helps her spread them out across the surface with effortless comfort of her presence. “you should relax.” he moves the rest of the ingredients into a neat line and then returns himself to the sink to wash his hands as though they hadn’t just been inches apart. it’s easy to forget being so close speaks so loudly of the intimacy he shares with her. yunseo doesn’t feel comfortable with women the way he does with her, not anymore. “you’ll only get in my way if you’re in the kitchen,” he teases, turns and shakes his hands out of the water with a smirk.

[fmdyunseo]

joohwan‌

joohwan stands in the same spot for a while. it feels like only a few minutes at the same time that it could’ve been hours. the corridor is deserted otherwise, most people not coming to work on a sunday morning, at least not in this side of the building. somewhere else the man knows idols of other groups are probably rehearsing. trainees too, are spending their only free day of the week dedicating themselves into improving their skills so they can get somewhere, so they can debut, just like hwan did seven years ago. other than that, he knows people have other priorities, have other places to be, have families to go back to and spend the weekend with. yet his own irresponsible decision had taken a bunch of people away from their family, from their peace, from their moment away from work. it’s one thing for him to suffer the consequences of his actions but another thing entirely for him to have dragged so many people down with him.

that’s a feeling that only gets worse when he sees yunseo. as much as he had spent a long time just standing there, his mind is not completely disconnected from reality that he doesn’t notice his leader approaching him from a distance. hwan had completely forgotten the possibility that yunseo would be called in as well. as the leader hwan was his responsibility just as much as the rest of the group – if one of them fucks up, it’s a reflection of him just as much as it’s a reflection of the company. it’s only then that his heart truly sinks, that the dimension of what had happened hits him for real. he had never wanted to be the type of person who thinks this much about others around him, always being too self-sufficient and depending on only himself for that to be a comfortable thought for him.

and yet here he is, hands shaking and bottom lip quivering as tears start to gather in his eyes – all because yunseo is here. joohwan is far from being someone who allows his emotions to be this transparent, even if he doesn’t believe in the idea that men are not supposed to cry. it’s exactly what he does, though, when yunseo gets closer, when a hand is rested on top of his head. hwan wants to lean forward, bury his face on the older man’s chest but instead he buries his face in his own hands. “ i’m sorry, ” joohwan whispers, loud enough to be heard. “ for everything. for making you have to come here today. i don’t know what to do to fix this, hyung. ”

years sometimes come back in waves that crash for what feels like eternity, but lasts in reality, only a few seconds. park yunseo sometimes can recall meeting joohwan, all those years ago. when he thinks on it, really presses himself, puts his all into it, he can remember the moment his heart shifted. or maybe it’s less a moment, more a collection of stars. winking stars in the sky what changed the bleak dark. he had little hope to like his members, let alone love them back then. but they wormed their way into his heart, and though he could never say as many words, he feels it. the collection of moments like a honeycomb that changed the way he viewed joohwan. with every snarky comment, every discussion that more and more over the years, grew serious and with every ounce of his trust he put in his teammate, yunseo knew it would be no going back. after all, he isn’t a man who gives up or turns astray. nam joohwan isn’t a man who’s easy to love either, well, not at first. but maybe that’s why it works. and yunseo knows just how much there is to love once you experience it first hand. 

his hand slips off hwan’s soft hair with a heavy slide when the man folds forward. his palm settles around shoulders that are firm and curved into his chest in a tight, awkward hold. he knows those shoulders are carrying too much weight lately. he hadn’t done enough to help lessen that burden, perhaps intentionally at times. that’s on him, isn’t it. he stares down at the tuft of hair with a frown he’s glad can’t been seen in its intensity. “stop apologizing.” it comes out a little gruff but it’s firm and not withstanding, and his arm squeezes as he says it. “i come here almost every day, this is no different.” he brushes the comment off, meant to be reassuring. it might be a joke but yunseo lacks the charm. “we get through this.” it’s past tense referencing the future, so certain its a statement that lacks the hopeful whimsy and just sounds like hellish rebuke.

his hold on hwan is patient, not to move and withdrawn until the other is ready, not to hold closer or tighter without being advanced upon. just a still-standing wall to lean against. “i talked to andy already. talked to the managers a little, i’ll go in now after this to figure things out. it isn’t the end of the world.” it sounds mildly dismissive, cool and hard in nature like dry ice, but in its delivery lies yunseo’s entire heart and soul; the way he trusts joohwan and his members, their future.

[fmdyunseo]

𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘰 @fmdartemisia .

〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: Do you really use toe socks and random pictures as inspiration Jueun? 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: Personally, I’m having a hard time summoning the inspiration I need lately. I keep thinking of certain people. Don’t you take inspiration from people too? 〚 𝗞𝗼 𝗝𝘂𝗲𝘂𝗻 〛: I just wonder, if it’s even possible to stop yourself from writing about others.

[fmdyunseo]

[fmdyunseo]

fmdxlux‌:

fmdkami‌:

[ kkt; klkami ] …i don’t even need to say it 

[ kkt; klkami ] option two by far 

[ kkt; klkami ] they’re a little funky, i like it 

⟶ the latter, but can’t you afford both? ⟶ not that you should buy those socks, they’re awful. ⟶ why the toes? why would you want fabric between your toes? ⟶ the audience needs to know, sia.

𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗬𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗼 ⇒  I don’t like either. 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗬𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗼 ⇒  is this really how you typically summon inspiration? 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗬𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗼 ⇒  just buy both. neither make sense anyway.

[fmdyunseo]

[fmdyunseo]

dawon

for @fmdyunseo​ At the Seoul Spring Festival Day Concert, backstage.

It’s been seven years. Not counting the time Dawon has spent training for this, it’s been nearly seven years since Origin’s debut. Yet here he is, mouth dry, hands shaking where he stuffed them into his pockets, expecting something bad to happen at every turn. It’s easier to deal with once he’s on stage, the in-ears blocking at least some of the noise, muscle memory taking over and guiding him. But the moments before a performance are always the worst.

Coming to Yunseo about his stage fright hadn’t always been this easy; Origin’s leader was strict and intimidating and at fifteen, sixteen Dawon hadn’t really known how to process that, least of all in situations of high stress. And maybe he wouldn’t have, hadn’t their job forced them to work in such close quarters for so long. But he did, and that was what really mattered in the end.

Hiding out around Yunseo was calming, in part because the rapper was tall and Dawon, even though of fairly average height himself, had an easy time disappearing behind the other’s frame. There’d be no pity either, nor coddling, the latter probably being the thing Dawon mourned the most, though he found Yunseo’s way to deal with his anxious bouts comforting all the same. 

“I’ve started making plans for the rest of the festival,” Dawon shared, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the backstage bustle. “But I think I forgot most of what I wanted already. So much for trying to distract myself.” For a moment he fell silent again, tried not to start nervously picking at the seams of his oversized blazer. “Tell me about your plans, hyung? You can even make things up, talk about something else, just–” He shrugged helplessly. “Not doing anything is a little hard to bear right now.”

sometimes it’s easy to forget the time they’d known each other. after a while, time stops ticking for yunseo, nothing exists but what’s at the center of his attention, whether that be music, origin, his fans, time stops. it’s why he gets lost, it’s why the crowd that screams can barely cut through the noise, quieted by the spiritual walls he keeps at all times. park yunseo thinks it had been too many years since he’d last thought about origin as anything other than an extension of himself. he hardly notices any longer, doesn’t recall a time he wasn’t with them. he fiddles with his vest, straightening it absentmindedly as he glances the area without seeing. he had been keeping an eye for his members, particularly joohwan, but catching sight of dawon was just as well received by yunseo. possibly more of late.

he glances over at first distractedly, a phantom look that passes through on his way to pay more attention to his thoughts, before he dials back. since the break, dawon had been a sort of life line for yunseo, in a welcome way, a tether to reality and the a reminder of the connection origin shared that brought yunseo back to earth, set the hands on the clock back in motion. so he takes a pause at dawon’s muffled voice. leans downward and inward a bit so that they’re closer, his gaze tangibly searching dawon’s features. he waits for the finish before answering, the slight nerves reading loud and clear despite dawon’s subtleties. he recognizes that dawon is seeking comfort, he’d seen it many times, but nothing about yunseo’s mannerisms changes. he puts on an understated smile, “you want to do something with me?” he looks up and out, scans the room in a way that’s become habitual of him, like a guard dog, or a bastion at watch. looks back as though nothing had drawn his gaze (and nothing had, not really), “i wanted to see some of the collaborative project stages.” he just wanted some way to waste his time, in truth. he back peddles, “don’t distract yourself with thinking about serious things,” he speaks, somewhat hypocritically, crosses his arms over his chest. “━do you want to work on a track with me in the future?” he starts over, asks something he had been planning to ask much later, when there was less noise, less distraction, but maybe he can turn it into a distraction at this point, and that’s good enough. it isn’t the same as usual concerts, where he can just give dawon a stern look, a rousing few words and postpone things until later. yunseo gazes expectantly and patiently, uncrosses his arms to reach out and straightens the lines of dawon’s clothing into perfection in a familiar, finicky manner, before crossing his arms again.