flows9bomi

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Art G.Shvecova (Design graphics - Purple stars_1412)

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. 🌸🌸🌸 .

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I want to die. I shouldn’t but I want to

Nothing is ok. I’m just lying

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Nothing is ok. I’m just lying

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I can’t die. That sucks

I wrote you this

No I didn’t. It’s just weird to say out loud

I wish I could die. No I wish I could kill myself. Even though I know I can’t. Not because I don’t want to. I just have too many responsibilities at the moment

That makes it worse right? Imagine? Not even being able to have the option to kill yourself. My face burns from embarrassment

And shame. But this shame isn’t mine. You just make me feel ashamed of myself. And worthless. Worthless and unimportant. A lot of people do

Life is weird

You’re not allowed to say anything about that. It’s like we’re all playing the quiet game.

Shh! Nobody talk about life or what it’s like! Talk about something else!

I miss drugs. They made it easier to ignore people. Why’d I do that? Stop doing drugs? Why’d I open up?

I kind of preferred being high and ignorant. And lonely. I preferred being lonely. It was more fun than this. This is sadness and rejection. This is shame and embarrassment. This is ugly and useless

I miss not being told to be ashamed of myself and made fun of. Looked down on

I miss not being made to feel so worthless. Even if I was at least I didn’t have it told to my face as constantly

I did write you this. Sorry

Hey. Why am I not good enough? Why doesn’t anything I do matter? Is it about money? Is that all you want

I don’t have much of it right now. Does that mean I lose you? Is that the world? Is that everybody?

I wonder what would make me good enough

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I wrote you this

No I didn’t. It’s just weird to say out loud

I wish I could die. No I wish I could kill myself. Even though I know I can’t. Not because I don’t want to. I just have too many responsibilities at the moment

That makes it worse right? Imagine? Not even being able to have the option to kill yourself. My face burns from embarrassment

And shame. But this shame isn’t mine. You just make me feel ashamed of myself. And worthless. Worthless and unimportant. A lot of people do

Life is weird

You’re not allowed to say anything about that. It’s like we’re all playing the quiet game.

Shh! Nobody talk about life or what it’s like! Talk about something else!

I miss drugs. They made it easier to ignore people. Why’d I do that? Stop doing drugs? Why’d I open up?

I kind of preferred being high and ignorant. And lonely. I preferred being lonely. It was more fun than this. This is sadness and rejection. This is shame and embarrassment. This is ugly and useless

I miss not being told to be ashamed of myself and made fun of. Looked down on

I miss not being made to feel so worthless. Even if I was at least I didn’t have it told to my face as constantly

I did write you this. Sorry

Hey. Why am I not good enough? Why doesn’t anything I do matter? Is it about money? Is that all you want

I don’t have much of it right now. Does that mean I lose you? Is that the world? Is that everybody?

I wonder what would make me good enough

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I’m tumbling!

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I love you

I really do. Always will

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I really need to cum. But I don’t want to masturbate.

I want you

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Artist: Kool New Dimensions

Song: STEVE J*BS

Out everywhere. Video soon. Link in bio

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I’m starting to feel very undeserving of love

Very morbidly ashamed of myself

Embarrassed to be myself because being me is the reason people keep leaving me for people that aren’t like me

Very disgusting and ugly to look at

Very gross and unimportant to the world around me

I want to cry

And throw up

I’m not gonna but I want to

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I want to cry

And throw up

I’m not gonna but I want to

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I wrote you this

Because I can’t do anything else

You’ve invaded my mind and taken over

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I wrote you this

You never came

I like you better in my dreams

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I wrote you this

Because I’m so nervous about the idea of seeing you I can’t breathe. It’s turning into self doubt and embarrassment

And fear of canceling. I wonder if I should even write you at all

Why? To remind you of our plans. Is that how I should feel about myself? Like I’m something someone needs to be reminded about otherwise I’m forgotten?

Maybe you’re nervous too. That can happen too right? Maybe you’re just as worried I’M going to cancel and you’re waiting for me to tell you I haven’t forgotten you.

That can happen too right? Somewhere in the world. Mostly in my imagination