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ft. me from my ipad

another day, another clip of swiss molesting one of his girlfriends.

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I can’t get over this lmaooo

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Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

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If you’re an adult, do the stuff you couldn’t as a kid.

Like, me and my sister went to a museum, and they had an extra exhibit of butterflies. But it cost £3. So we sighed, walked past, then stopped. We each had £3. We could see the butterflies. And we did it was great. We followed it up with an ice-cream as well because Mum and Dad weren’t there to say no.

I was driving back from a work trip with 2 other people in their early 20s, and we drove past a MacDonalds. One of the others went “Aww man, I’d love a McFlurry.” And the guy driving pulled in to the drive through. It was wild. But it was great.

I went to a park over the weekend and I was thinking “Man, I’d love to hire one of those bikes and cycle round the park.” It took me a few minutes to go “Wait, I can hire one of those bikes!”

I guess what I’m saying is, those impulsive things you wanted to do as a kid - see the dinosaur exhibit, play in the fountains with the other kids, lie in the shade for 2 hours - you can do when you’re an adult. You have to deal with a whole lot of other bull, but at least you can indulge your inner 8 year-old.

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Love saying “awwwww~ how cuteeee” to subs, it’s like a cheat code to get them whining on all fours

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VERY IMPORTANT a dam in the Netherlands, the weerdsluis lock, is directly on a migratory path for spawning fish. They have a worker stationed there to open the door for the fish, but they can take a while to open it. So to keep the fish from getting preyed on by birds they installed a doorbell. Only, the fish don't have hands to ring the doorbell. If you go to their website, they have a LIVE CAMERA AND A DOORBELL that YOU RING FOR THE FISH when they're waiting, and then the dam worker opens the door for them! I can't express how obsessed I am with this. look at this shit. oh my god.

Please check on the fish doorbell once in a while :)

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I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

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can't stop thinking about when i was pounding into him and went to cup his face and without even thinking he took my fingers into his mouth like a good slut. every time i jack off i think about my beautiful boy looking up at me with pleading eyes, sucking on my fingers

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The fae smiled, sharply: “Give me your name, child.”

“Uhhhhh. Stick.”

“What.”

“Does Leaf work better? I’m just kinda looking around this clearing. Look, I’m trans, I haven’t decided on one yet, I’m throwing some spaghetti at the wall, you know how it is.”

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Happy birthday to me i guess

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If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.

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i got my grubby little mitts on a commission slot by the magnificent @kabukiaku , the omega3 angst is perfection

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in recognition of World Down Syndrome Day on March 21

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brought some fruit for the potluck