floregonzalez

[floregonzalez]

Some News that might be good

I know, yeah, you Might or might not be wondering: “Uh.. were’nt you gonna stay away from Tumblr, and move on in life?”

I was plainning to, as you can read in my apology and update posts from some weeks ago; but huh, I guess that wont be like it anymore.

I watched an old video of my favourite youtuber, DrossRotzank. The video is called “La gente Molesta de Youtube” (Youtube’s Annoying People) and its not in his channel anymore, I found it reuploaded by someone else. It made me think a lot about my own Internet experience, its not a lot different of what he described, and in his own terms, I lost the battle by letting those annoying people make me stop posting here, and even deleting my blogs.

Deleting my blogs made me lose all of my old drawings (or at least it made me lose track of em,, since I also ruinned my computer, with all my files, Im using my brother’s) And it made me lose what I had been building for so many time; A Fanbase around me and my art. . And by losing that, I lost the love and support of more than 30k people. I will have to start almost over again. At least I will try to not make the same mistakes I made when I started.

But I also learnt some good things when I was away, as my friends said, I needed a break, to think things out, and to get help. People who “hate” me seemed so many and so strong back then, but now I truly realize that theyre nothing compared to those who loved me.

So yeah, Hello!! I’m back from my Mental Rehabilitation, my Break, whatever,,

I dont think I’ll keep using this blog tho, since I made myself a new username and all, I dont want to waste it, so, I’ll just freely give it,

my new account username is @feliville here, on instagram n deviantart.

My name is still Felipe, Florence Felipe, and it took a while, but I now really like my name!

If you want to talk about something, you’re free to talk to me, I miss you all guys so much, I missed your support and your love, I want to be closer to yall,, heh, I dont think there’s much left of my Loyal Followers, but as long as there is 1, Im happy, because I can at leat love one person the way I used to love 1k 

(As you can tell I still dont know how to express myself, but, at least you know that I love you)

[floregonzalez]

For the people who wants an update about me:

I wont try to kill myself anymore.. and I dont want to self harm again.

I have been feeling so much better since I got out of tumblr, I want this feeling to keep going.

I dont want to stop posting my art online tho.. I still want to animate something that makes people happy.. I want to grow up as an artist and I want to keep growing up as a person. I want to keep learning and I want to find a style for me.

I dont want you (people who has supported me through the years) to be sad bc you wont ever be able to see my art.. I know some people got smiles whenever they saw me in their dash, so I wont be away from you, I know many people discovered that datfeli was me (yep. it was me. I didnt do a big effort hiding it tbh.. What a surprise. But good job to everyone who found out..? idk im surprised,,).

I am still on Internet tho.. I dont post drawings as often tho.. and I'm watching SU again (just wont interact with the fandom by drawing shipping, or drawing so much of it,, I just will maybe draw new charas and enjoy the show's excllent character design.) I wont get back in tumblr in a long while (idek if i will ever come back tbh) but I am in another social media: Instagram. If you find out what my username is there, youre free to ask if its me i guess. I still dont know if I will be open about it there on IG, but, still you can ask, I have nothing to hide.

Also, I'd like to give you a clue for what the account name is.. it also has "feli" on it, and atm it has 3 posts.

And yeah.. my name is Florence Felipe.. heh. also yesterday (january12th) was my bday and it was quite nice! 

I also want to mention someone: @wal-uigi, for being one of my most active followers, thank you so much for always being so nice to me. Im sorry I left,, but dont worry, Im ok, as in your dreams, and Im posting my art again. Thank you for being a loyal follower who could always agree with me, and defend me, even tho I used to have a bad behaviour in the past.

I know there's a lot like them, but I hardly remember many names of many people, I have some of you in mind, but I cant remember the exact url, so i cant mention you,, im sorry.. but you gotta know that I love you, and I want to thank you for being there for ne when I needed you.

I dont know what else to type, so, bye, and thank you all for understanding. I might have forgotten something, but if i remember, Ill type it in a new post.

[floregonzalez]

My deepest apologies

it has certainly been a long while since the last time I typed something in this website. It feels weird.

I'm really sorry but, I'm not coming back to tumblr, this will be my last post here, and I really need it to be for something important.

You have seen my many suicide attempts, my depressive and anxious behaviours, and you have also seen me doing things that werent the best to do. The things I drew/reblogged in my old enciowhy porn blog were things I saw other people draw, and liked, but didnt think too much about how it is seen by the majority of people (AKA, the bestiality porn, fin///nxjak////e, also the pe////wey fanart I drew in my old main floredoodler) I dont remember what else I did.. it was a lot of time ago.. on 2015 . I shouldnt have been so childish when replying to what people told me i was doing wrong, I should have been more responsible and I should have aknowledged what I did.. I didnt do these thought because I didnt know how, and i might have made excuses once, twice or more times. I realize I tried to run away from problems by remaking my blog. I did that twice i think.

I'd like to tell you that I have changed. Back in the day I didnt really have clear what is bad and what is good. Now I know. I will not draw certain things, because they're not ok..

(I just noticed I might be sounding repetitive but its mostly because I still dont know how to fully express myself in words, but I do know how to express myself better than before.)

I'd really love to say sorry for doing the things I did. I apologize for making you cry whenever I posted suicide notes, and I want to apologize for drawing hurtful content.

I wish I could have a way to let you all see how sorry I am.. this is my only way to do it.

Also, for the ones who support me, I want to apologize for leaving tumblr. I dont feel comfortable being here. I will always be in a negative place in some people's minds.. I will always be lesbophobic/transphobic/racist/pedophile for at least 1 person, and I cant change that.. I understand that if Someone becomes known, there will inevitably be people who hates them. I just am not used to hate (I grew up with it but Im not over it, and I dont consider myself strong enough to be around people who hates me)

Thank you for reading! I hope you understand that I never meant to harm anybody, ever. Its ok if you dont want to believe me tho, its up to you. I did what I had to do (accept my mistakes and learn from them)

If I excluded something you can point it out by commenting it and Ill to explain it and apologize too.