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In Defense Of Bella Swan

Bella Swan gets a lot of flack for...well, everything. She’s been called insipid, pathetic, a victim, a feminist’s nightmare. In many circles, she has become a by word for “weak, useless person.” It’s true that Bella is often pushed around by the men in her life. But why do we blame Bella for being pushed around and blithely ignore the men who are doing the pushing? There is a lot to admire in Bella. She’s loving and kind hearted. She’s self-sacrificing. She’s tenacious. She’s brave. But people often overlook these traits and instead choose to focus on Bella’s supposed victimhood and slavish devotion to Edward.

Yes, Bella loves Edward and would do anything for him. But, lest we forget, he’s not the only one for whom Bella is willing to put her life on the line. One of Bella’s most defining character traits is her love for her family, and she shows that love time and time again throughout the books. Edward’s first major rescue occurs not because the villain has swept away an unresisting damsel in distress but because the damsel sought out and surrendered herself to the villain in order to save her mother’s life.

This isn’t the only time Bella steps up for the sake of her family. She chews out a bunch of werewolves on behalf of her best friend Jacob, whom she sees as a brother. She faces down the Vulturi to save her daughter, and she does everything in her power to keep her father safe from the dangerous world she inhabits. Edward is not the single, all-consuming interest in Bella’s life: he’s part of her family, and she acts accordingly.

When Edward leaves her, it shatters her world. Many see this as a sure sign that Bella lacks the fortitude we expect from Strong Female Characters. They call her weak, stupid, pathetic...but here’s the thing: we would--or, rather, should--never, ever talk that way about a real woman who suffers from depression, regardless of the cause. Furthermore, what happens to Bella in the book happens to both women and men in real life all the time. It’s nothing like unheard of for people to fall into a severe depression after losing a loved one, be it to death or divorce or a simple breakup.

I myself have suffered from heartbreak twice in my life, and both instances took their toll. The first time, I was just a little older than Bella. I dropped twenty pounds in less than two weeks, and I wasn’t heavy to begin with. The second time, I had ten years on Bella in terms of experience and emotional development, and it still took me over a year to really feel like myself again.

Does that make me useless or pathetic or a poor role model for young women? It does not, and Bella’s suffering doesn’t make her any of those things, either. Mocking fictional characters and judging them for their depression only reinforces the stigma that we’re trying so hard to fight against in the real world.

If Twilight is a bad love story, it’s not because Bella is an anti-feminist pod-person worming her way into the minds of impressionable teens. The really disturbing stuff lies squarely in the court of our sparkly hero himself, Edward, who is constantly undermining Bella’s agency as a character. He’s overbearing, he’s controlling, and he’s constantly telling Bella that she’s fragile and vulnerable and his to protect, even if it means making decisions for her.

Let’s take his abandonment of Bella, which is arguably his most egregious offense. He readily admits that he knew he would have to lie to her in order to make her accept that he was leaving. He knew exactly how strong her feelings were, and he dismissed them. Rather than treat her like an equal, rather than accept her love and respect her ability to make decisions for herself, he treats her like a child. He takes away her right to choose. And, later, he has the gall to chide Bella for so readily believing that he didn’t love her when he himself is constantly telling her, not only through his actions but to her face, that she’s not strong or capable. Is it any wonder, then, that she doesn’t feel worthy of his love?  

It doesn’t stop there. Once he--grudgingly--accepts that Bella deserves to have him in her life if that’s what she wants, Edward loses no time in exerting his control over her, most notably in regard to her friendship with Jacob. Once again, Edward treats Bella like a child who needs to be protected rather than an equal partner in a romantic relationship. Which brings us to book four, in which Edward finds out Bella is pregnant and immediately begins making plans to abort the baby without consulting her. Once again, he completely ignores Bella’s right to make decisions about her body. What’s worse, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. It never occurs to him that Bella might have an opinion that doesn’t align with his.

It’s all pretty damning. But what people often forget, or ignore, is that Bella comes out on top every time. Let’s take stock, shall we? One: Edward abandons Bella because he has never taken her feelings seriously; he winds up back at her side after she flies halfway around the world to save him from the Vulturi, even while fully expecting him to leave her again. Two: Edward doesn’t like her friendship with Jacob and goes so far as to sabotage her vehicle in order to prevent them from seeing each other; Bella goes to see Jacob anyway. Three: Edward goes over Bella’s head to arrange an abortion; Bella takes the matter back into her own hands and has the baby. Bonus: In the process, Bella becomes an immortal, something which she has repeatedly told Edward that she wants and which Edward has just as repeatedly done his best to prevent.

The biggest problem with Twilight, in my mind, is that neither Edward nor Bella ever really acknowledges Edward’s lack of respect. As a result, it’s easy for readers to see Edward’s protectiveness as a romantic quirk instead of the huge, honking character flaw that it is. Though Bella fights back and doesn’t let Edward dominate her, she never holds him accountable for his attitude. This too is a flaw, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing--perfect characters are boring, unrealistic characters, after all. But we need to recognize flaws for what they are, and with flaws such as Edward’s and Bella’s, it’s important that the characters recognize them, too.

I’m sure much of this has been said before, but if it has, it bears repeating: Bella is not the problem, and Bella-bashing is just another instance of people--men and women both--blaming women for the things that are done to them by men. It happens all the time in the real world to real women, and it’s not okay. So let’s be a little bit more discerning and a lot more fair in how we discuss fictional characters. They’re not just words on the page; they’re reflections of ourselves.

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When I was younger and reading Order of the Phoenix, I didn’t know that punting meant like boating so when Fred and George make the swamp and Filch has to punt the students across I literally imagined him drop kicking them across

just another day at hogwarts

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Skye's daily attempt to sniff Loki's butt. Hope does spring eternal...

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I see a lot of people who tell young people–especially young people who are heading into college–that they should “do what they love.” And they’re right. You should do what you love.

But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck. 

I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.

You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.

You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should.  But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.

I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.

And I love it. 

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My stomach growled super loud in French omg

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And here I thought she didn't like bath time

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Skye's not sure what to do with her new antler.

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quest to Erebor day 18. the dwarves get bored and decide to have a ‘nicest beard’ contest. as the only non-bearded party member they decide Bilbo has to be the judge as he’s the only one able to be impartial.

unbeknownst to them Bilbo judges the Hobbiton pie-making contest AND best garden contest AND pumpkin growing contest every year. he spends 3 hours judging all their beards on various metrics including length, softness and fanciness. by the time he declares Balin the winner they’re all kind of tired of it.

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Are you awake yet?

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harry: butter is just food lotion

hermione: something is wrong with you

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Why? I'm tired but I don't want to take a nap.

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“Part of our job is to observe human behavior and reflect it back to people so they can feel less alone in the world.”

Sarah Paulson

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True life

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You know what’s fun about language is how you can use a word with perfect confidence 38,381 times but then when you go to use it the 38,382nd time you have to pull out the dictionary just to be sure you’re doing it right.

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It's a ruff life

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So my best friend is going through a nasty divorce, and one of the worst things about the whole debacle is how manipulative her ex is. He apparently has convinced everyone in his life that my bff is this horrible heartless monster, mostly by lying through his teeth. So this female friend of his keeps messaging and texting my bff with crazy rants or just random, hurtful profanity. Of course my first impulse was to break out my pointy pointy word knives, but we both agree that engaging with the crazy won’t solve anything. And, really, it’s funny if you can take a few steps back. Like this girl is 32 years old and she has nothing better to do with her time? I thought a visual aid might help remind my bff to find the humor in a sucky situation, so here it is. Whenever this pathetic piece of buttcheese opens her trap, my bff can imagine the stream of BS coming out of one of the faces in the pictures provided. 

There are a lot of small, cruel people in the world and a lot of people who might be hurt by the things these people have to say, so I thought I’d share in case others might find our method useful. Enjoy, and remember that people who go out of their way to try to hurt you are small and ugly and ridiculous. So laugh it up!

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