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my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

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A Thing Like You and Me, chalk pastel on paper

2023

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i LOVE severance marketing

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How do you know about the Exports Hall?

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this picture of him makes me feral

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feverish and forsaken. on my second glass of mulled wine. never kill yourself

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I have to upload this as a video bc you can see her think this in real time

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With severance season 2 around the corner it’s time for me to share the time I accidentally watched 4 minutes of an episode on mute and thought it was a brilliant way to show the sensory deprivation experienced by the innies

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Today I learned that Van Halen have that rider in their contract about “a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed” in order to know at a glance if the promoter read the entire contract.  And the reason they do THAT is because they once had a stage collapse because a promoter hadn’t read the proper way to set up all the specific technical stuff.

So if the band goes in the dressing room or catering and sees brown M&Ms, they know they have to double-check the stage setup for safety.

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he did not need to be this cunty

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When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

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It is them