firebreather-79996

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Frank: Did you just refer to that knife as "people opener"?

Annabeth: Should I have not?

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Person: Don't you miss the vivid happiness of childhood?

Nico: I would except I didn't have any.

Person: Childhood or happiness?

Nico: Yes.

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Percy: I'm ready to do anyone for this mission.

Annabeth: Don't you mean anything?

Percy: Yeah, that too.

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Nico: My boyfriend looks so good right now.

Annabeth: Oh, so Will is here?

Nico: No, I just know.

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Percy: Hey Jason, how're your eyes?

Jason: They're good. They're not in my head is the only problem.

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Hades: Ah, see these are the sort of family gatherings you can never forget.

Nico: Hopefully, with the help of a good therapist I just might.

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Will: You look so tiny and adorable.

Nico: I could kis- I mean, kick your ass right now.

Will[grinning]: I know.

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Jason: So...what's it like dating Annabeth?

Percy: One time I asked her for a glass of water when she was pissed at me. She brought me a glass of ice cubes and said, "Wait".

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Percy[in a deep voice]: Men are here.

Leo[deeper voice]: We make fire. Cook meat.

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Piper: Is that a hicky?

Annabeth: What? No, it's a mosquito bite.

Percy: Hey guys.

Piper: Hey, mosquito.

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Percy: I thought happiness started with an 'h'. Why does mine start with 'u'?

Annabeth: Because you're dyslexic, Seaweed Brain.

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Hazel: In the words of one of my actual friends, "Ya basic!".

The Giant King: ...

Hazel: It's a human insult. It's devastating.

The Giant King: ...

Hazel: You're devastated right now.

The Giant King: *confused expression*

Hazel: Please tell me you're devastated.

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Jason: Piper has a good heart.

Percy: Yeah, I've seen you staring at her "good heart".

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" My mother used to swear so much when I was younger. I thought my name was fuck "

- Hazel Levesque

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How It Should've Gone:

Leo: So ladies! I heard y'all like bad boys.

The nymphs: Yeah...

Leo: Well, not trying to impress y'all or anything but my bedtime is 09:00 p.m and I go to sleep at 09:05 p.m.

A nymph: Wow...is that even legal?

Leo: I don't think so.

The nymphs: Marry us!!

Narcissus an actual bad boy: What the literal fuck?

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Percy: C'mon guys, it's Halloween! Let's do something scary.

Nico: Uuuuuhh, we could go to bed early and be alone with our thoughts....

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Nico and Will Lying in Bed

Will: Are you sleeping?

Nico: Nah. I'm just practicing death.