fire-walk

[fire-walk]

dw about the announcement guys they’re together & in love <3

[fire-walk]

///OOC: hello, lovelies, wanted to say sorry and still not dead! life’s been hella busy, but I still think about the account and the cool peeps who interact with it. I’m about half way through my drafts, so hopefully I’ll have things resurrected soon! that said, I’mma vibe for a bit

[fire-walk]

///OOC: omg, I forgot to post my vacation post--sorry, all!! long story short: I'm not dead, I haven't abandoned the blog, and will be back very early May!

[fire-walk]

Au scenario set in bts chloe comes home and max is at the house but bruised all over hurt and terrified but all she’ll say is sorry and won’t explain anything how does 16 year old Chloe respond

Chloe’s jaw tenses tightly. Part of her wants to demand an explanation, but so much more of her is mad at whoever the fuck did this (who the fuck could do this?), but most of her is just moving. She takes her hand and when Max doesn’t recoil, she leads her inside, locking the door behind them.

Tearing open the freezer, she pulls out those shitty frozen vegetable packs because they’re too damn poor for proper, ice ones, but knows these will work in a pinch. She’d given up on taking care of her own bruises, but this is different. This is Max and who the fuck hurt her? Chloe wants to kill ‘em.

She settles for leading the other girl upstairs and into her room, which she also locks.

Handing her one of the vegetable packs, she all but cups her face with the other one, moving slow so she doesn’t alarm her. There’s a moment of quiet because Max doesn’t want to talk about it and also what the fuck. Chloe almost wants to cry out of frustration and sorrow and anger, but she keeps a lid on it. She’d wanted to see her again so badly--she’d been mad and bitter and gutted and desperate, but this...

God, this was so fucked. Up.

She looks into the other girl’s eyes and finally finds words. “They’ll never touch you again,” Chloe swears, and she fucking means it. They’ll have to go through her first. She’ll die before she lets it happen.

[fire-walk]

shesneverleavingme:

The last thing that Max wanted to do was draw attention to herself here. This hotel was much fancier than she’d ever been in and she could only imagine what kind of looks she might get if she acted in any manner unbefitting of its status. The thought alone made her stomach churn but it was neck-and-neck with the pain she felt in her heels.

“How about this,” she heard her fiancee say, and before she could furrow her eyebrows with a questioning look, Chloe had her arms around her waist and was lifting her off the ground.

“Chloe!!” she yelped, surprised more than scared, and her hands clasped onto Chloe’s shoulders just as she swung her a little bit to sit her on the railing. The cold marble through her dress was enough to give her a chill. Once she was stable, she took her hands away from Chloe’s shoulders and clamped her fingers onto the railing on either side of her body, holding herself steady as Chloe knelt in front of her. Max immediately felt her face heat up just from seeing Chloe in this position and lowered her gaze to watch Chloe take off the stupid heels that she’d been forced to wear. She couldn’t feel much relief yet from them just being removed, but the promise of not being in as much pain acted like a pain reliever in and of itself. It also helped that Chloe kissed her leg and Max shivered before pulling it back a little. “Chloe…” she said, her whine quiet and serious as much as she tried to hide the slight delight that came with a tease.

But she was lucky that Chloe wasn’t planning anything scandalous here (and she knew that Chloe wouldn’t try since she’d be uncomfortable with it). Instead, she was joined on the railing and she looked at her fiancee, smiling sweetly. “Thank you,” she said, before Chloe started to suggest getting a better look at the scenery. “Out there?” she asked, a little confused, “But it’s pitch blac—“

The kiss shut her up and Max’s grip tightened on the edge of the balcony. She wasn’t able to add anything more as Chloe pulled away, but she still had the confused look on her face. It didn’t take long for her to realize what Chloe meant, though, as she saw her legs swing over to the other side of the railing. Max’s jaw dropped and she looked behind her at the ground. It wasn’t a long drop, maybe five feet from the top of the railing, but to sneak away from prom when all of her classmates and teachers were here and go god-knows-where? Max looked further into the horizon, to the darkness that disappeared only a short distance away from the building. Was it just an endless expanse of lawn? A golf course? She wasn’t sure and she didn’t remember from their drive up.

But, regardless of where it led to, the sparkle in Chloe’s eyes told Max everything. It was an adventure, and even if she couldn’t ignore the instinctual pang of terror that came with Chloe’s impish smile, she also couldn’t ignore how attractive it was on her. Max looked back at the hotel, where the doors were open but that meant the actual doors kept them out of eyesight from anyone in the room… Max looked back at Chloe and then nodded. “Let’s go,” she said, waiting for Chloe to go first so she had some room to move her legs over the railing. She looked down at the ground and then back at Chloe. “Don’t let me break an ankle…” she said timidly before she shoved off, landing on her feet and, surprisingly, not hearing a snap of a bone. She sighed and then looked up at the railing where they’d abandoned her shoes before she looked back at Chloe with some mirth dancing in her eyes. “Come on you crazy pirate… Lead the way!” she said quietly, biting her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing. It would definitely be bad if they had to explain themselves running away from the hotel and across the grounds when they were supposed to stay there….

Though she didn’t act on it in the way she usually would have, the position they were in was no accident. Chloe relished in the color in Max’s features and the little whine she earned from teasing her poor, gorgeous fiancee. She smirked up at her, letting her know exactly the kinds of thoughts running through her head. Later, if all went well, she’d definitely repeat this, but without coming back up for a while.

Delicious thoughts, but ones that had to be put on hold for now.

“Anything for you, babe,” she told her, but ignored the rest as she placed the kiss.

And while it took her fiancee a hot second, it had landed. Chloe’s smile brightened as Max agreed and she moved to make sure she could catch her if she stumbled any. Stealing her hand into hers after she landed, she broke into a grin, then transitioned into a run. “Try to keep up!” Chloe teased, though she kept a pace that Max could match.

Well, mostly. She was slightly ahead of her, but not enough so that Max would stumble or be truly dragged.

Chloe tugged her along, openly laughing after some distance, always on the edge of safety and risk.

@shesneverleavingme

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

There are few moments in Max’s life that compare to this one, right here; in intensity and in how it makes her feel. The storm, watching it obliterate their hometown and so many people in it as she sobbed into Chloe’s shoulder, feeling small and safe within her arms even though everything else outside of them isn’t, comes to mind. She’d known then, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that she loved Chloe more than anything in the world and that she’d sooner die herself than have to watch her demise, and she feels the same way right now for another version of the very same girl.

And the way she kisses her is the same, the way her voice sounds is the same as she whispers between them words that mean everything, that soothe Max’s troubled heart at least for a little while.

Max’s smile for once leaves the bitter out and all that remains is sweet, as she looks into the beautiful blue of Chloe’s eyes. Her favorite shade of blue.

“Me neither,” she tells her honestly.

Max smiles, smiles without all of the bullshit that’s been plaguing them both and Chloe feels her heart warm and loosen in her chest.

It’s so much easier to accept things when Max looks like this--when she seems happy with her stupid ass. She’ll do anything for more of those smiles. All of the complicated shit can wait. They have a trip ahead of them and fuck if she’s going to make Max miserable during it. Chloe lets that look of Max’s wash over her and it feels so fucking good to let it happen.

“Then we keep it all,” Chloe says, squeezing her hand. “We keep it all and every moment will always be ours,” she swore, looking deep into her eyes.

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

Max’s hands don’t really feel like her own, just like this life doesn’t really feel like her own – even though undoubtedly it is, contradicting all logic. She feels distant as Chloe grabs her hands, squeezes them before setting them down much more gently than Max had done so herself.

Chloe’s hands on either side of her face are warm and Max wants to lean into her touch so badly, but she won’t let herself do it. She doesn’t deserve it.

Chloe explains to her that she’d been good for her, actually, that she’s the reason why she ever got to see the end of high school. It’s supposed to comfort her, Max knows that, but Chloe’s words end up having the opposite effect. After all, that… wasn’t even really her, was it? It was some other version of her that’s completely separate, has to be, because she has no memory of anything from this timeline prior to a few minutes ago.

Maybe that Max is a good person. A good friend, and a good girlfriend. She isn’t.

Max, this Max, is a fucking trainwreck who unwittingly brings chaos wherever she roams. She tries to help, desperately, but nine times out of fucking ten ends up making everything worse.

What does it say about Max that the best version of her out there is the one she doesn’t share a brain with?

“You don’t understand,” Max tearfully argues, shaking her head. Part of her wants Chloe’s hands to drop from her face, and part of her wants them to stay there forever. “You don’t– you can’t. I can’t…”

Max places a hand over one of Chloe’s and gently pries it from her face as she moves backwards and away from the other girl, putting her knees up to her chest like a barrier between them. She hugs herself tightly, her small body curled up as she sobs into her knees.

“I did this,” she says again. “I did this. I… fucked everything up.”

Chloe feels like the worst person alive as Max pulls away from her. The other girl should be mad--mad at her, not herself. She’s the one who’s always fucking up. Who Max had to put the fuck back together again and again because she fell apart, and backslid, and almost gave up in the most explosive ways possible. So, how was it Max’s fault?

It’s hard not to do anything. Not to touch or kiss or hold her when all she wants to do is comfort her. Shifting onto her own stupid ass, Chloe gives her a moment, but at least scoots closer after that.

“I don’t understand,” she agrees with that much. “You should be pissed at me...” Swallowing, she continues, “So, help me understand. Because all I remember is you being the reason I’m not piss-drunk in some ditch right now.”

As a matter of fact, she remembers Max taking the damn bus after she’d drunk-texted her not long after her dad died... How she’d taken care of her throughout the whole, frankly disgusting ordeal, including the hangover. How she didn’t hate her after all that shit and then some, Chloe didn’t know, but she didn’t.

Even now, when she’d almost rather she hated her instead of turning it all inward.

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

herpartnerintime:

Max feels like she and Chloe are inside a snow globe, like their universe is just them and this forest encircled by glass.

She’s breathing fast, whimpering, soft moans escaping, and saying Chloe’s name as Chloe showers her with so much love and affection Max’s entire world is electricity and spinning dizziness. Chloe soon has both their bras off, and the feeling of their skin pressing together brings a new wave of dizziness.

Chloe was very much so showing her how present she was – and Max needed that. She would never not be plagued with fears of losing Chloe, that she could blink and suddenly she’d be in another reality where Chloe was gone, but feeling Chloe’s kisses, her touches, the way their bodies were up against each other, bare skin pressed together – she was feeling Chloe in so many ways she was real she was here.

“You know how to make yourself feel present,” she tells her, a little breathless from all the kissing. "Like I always say, I’m not the only one with a super power.“

You have me. Forever. “You have me forever too,” Max says softly back. Chloe can put so much power into her kisses, each one meaning something different, a promise of forever, tenderness, warmth, passion, so much love in every way. The feel of her lips, now her tongue, it’s a rush of feelings and love and heat and Max never wants it to end…

Max wished she had always been with Chloe. She knew she was long forgiven, but that she had once brought Chloe so much pain wasn’t something she could ever forgive herself for, and so she always wanted Chloe to know she was never leaving her again, always wanted Chloe to feel loved. So as Chloe reminded her how present she was, how real she was, Max would make sure Chloe felt loved in every touch and kiss and moment.

Chloe is hovering over her now, and Max reaches out to touch her face. She feels so loved and safe under Chloe like this. “I love you too,” she says, as she stares adoringly at Chloe, the moonlight softly illuminating Chloe’s nakedness. “This would be a perfect picture, but I don’t think you’ll be letting me go get my camera right now,” she says, which is fine with her, because she doesn’t want to get out from under Chloe, or have Chloe get off her. Her camera can stay over there with her clothes. “That’s okay, my eyes are a perfect camera, I’ll never forget this moment.”

And she’s kissing her again, hands touching, clinging, Chloe is hers, forever, and she loves her so much she doesn’t know how she’ll ever stop kissing her…

God, Max always makes the prettiest noises. Chloe savors every one, whether they spill into the space between them, over her lips, or into her mouth. And the feeling of their bare skin pressed together? Amazing doesn’t begin to cover it. Maybe she’s glad Max feels like being this intimate, even with the risk. (She’s definitely glad.)

“That’s pretty gay, even for you, Max,” she teases, but lets it be known that it’s the opposite of a problem. Chloe kisses her again, catching her bottom lip between her teeth, and drags them over it lightly before releasing. “Good,” she murmurs afterwards. “I want you,” she says, emphasis on the double-meaning.

Her girlfriend comes back with some signature Max Caulfield tenderness, and the heat she feels goes a little warmer though it doesn’t diminish in the slightest. “Definitely not,” she agrees, somehow soft and sultry at the same time. She shifts her face, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s palm, then her wrist. “But your eyes? Full permission,” she smirks, then puts more of her weight over the other girl, pressing her hips to hers.

“You’re pretty perfect in general,” Chloe tells her with a kiss, then with tongue, and a harder press of her hips.

@herpartnerintime

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

Tears spill from Chloe’s eyes, but Max catches them halfway down her cheeks with gentle fingertips. Max’s natural response to seeing Chloe cry includes a furrow appearing between her brows, but once she sees a smile, it dissolves as quickly as it appeared.

It’s the most beautiful, sincere smile. The sweet overshadows the bitter with just how immense Max’s love feels, with how it comes right after I love you too. And it’s sweeter still as she gets to taste it on her lips, pressed to hers in a kiss that somehow manages to be just as magical as the first.

More than anything, Chloe says, and Max replies with “forever”. Max’s hand descends from its place against Chloe’s cheek, her fingertips gently tracing a line down her arm. Reaching Chloe’s wrist, Max’s hand turns to cover hers, which she holds as one would hold the most precious thing on Earth. She closes her eyes as she presses delicate kisses to two of her knuckles, before looking back up again to meet Chloe’s eyes.

“This trip,” she begins, her hand not holding Chloe’s brushing away the remnants of tears on her cheek and then tenderly tracing her bottom lip with her thumb. “We’ll make it count.”

Chloe drinks in Max’s ‘forever’, doing everything she can to immortalize it on her lips. Her touch solidifies the moment in her mind--only Max can be this gentle and still seep so deeply into her heart. She’s not sure how the fuck she’s going to let her go if she has to, but then again, she knows now more than ever that she’d do anything for her.

The way her eyes hold hers settles the matter in an instant. Anything, anything for her.

Her lips part as Max’s thumb brushes over one and Chloe doesn’t resist the urge to kiss her yet again, deeply. “Every moment with you counts,” she murmurs as their lips part. She squeezes the hand in her own and adds, “I wouldn’t trade any of them.”

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

Staring intently into the metal box in her lap as her vision blurs, Max doesn’t hear Chloe when she walks back in the room. She doesn’t even hear the blankets as they fall to a heap on the floor.

Max does hear Chloe’s excuses, but she might as well not have. It doesn’t matter that she didn’t mean to take them often (and, god, the way that’s worded implies that she might be); it doesn’t matter that she didn’t want Max to worry. It doesn’t even matter when Chloe says she’s being careful, because Max knows bullshit when she smells it.

“You can’t be careful with this stuff, Chloe,” Max says, the crack in her voice letting her tears through. “And you’re not– look at all those…”

Max gestures to the open suitcase filled with empty cans that once carried energy drinks in them more violently than she meant to, her anger towards herself showing in how her palm slaps against her thigh as her hand returns to her lap.

It stings, but it doesn’t sting half as bad as it does to know that she’s done this to Chloe – she’s the reason why she’s resorted to drugs.

Just like she’s the reason why her parents are broke and miserable.

“I did this,” Max says out loud, though it’s herself she’s talking to.

“I– I did this,” she repeats, shoulders slumping as she brings both hands to her face, viciously wiping away her tears.

Chloe nearly argues, her brain on the verge of using her science major as a point, but then Max’s voice cracks. Chloe’s heart does too. The newly formed words die on her tongue as she watches tears spill over her girlfriend’s cheeks. As if that wasn’t enough to signal how badly she fucked up, her gentle-ass girlfriend signals it in harsh motions.

The slap Max gives to her own thigh breaks Chloe out of her trance--she drops to her knees beside her, taking her girlfriend’s hands in her own as she settles on the floor next to her. “No,” Chloe says firmly. She places Max’s hands gently back to her lap, squeezing them before letting go. Cupping her face, she wipes away her tears gently.

“You didn’t know...you wouldn’t have let me. I didn’t ask you and I’m so sorry, Max...” It hurts to see her this sad. “The only thing you’ve done is make my life better. Do you think I would have even made it out of high school without you? Because I don’t. I was ready to give up...”

Her thumb moves back and forth, gently, over her cheek.

“I...listed one of the grants as rejected on our spreadsheet, but honestly, Max, I just fell the fuck asleep,” she admits, voice colored with guilt. “And I knew other people managed to squeeze more out of a day. So, I asked. And got those...”

One of her hands drops to her girlfriend’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “You didn’t do this, okay? You’re the best thing that ever happened to me...”

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

shesneverleavingme:

‘Okay, maybe walking wasn’t such a good idea…’ The thought came too late as Max stood up and started to drag her poor, willing fiancee over to the photo area to get their picture taken. Although they hadn’t been walking for a long time, and they’d sat down for dinner the entire time, every step made her heels ache and the bottoms of her feet could cry out with pain. It was bad enough that when Chloe offered to carry her that Max almost felt desperate enough to take her up on the offer. However, knowing Chloe, she either wouldn’t let her down ever or she’d complain about how sore her arms were afterwards or she would do something embarrassing that Max might never forget, so it was best not to tempt the karma that she was sure was coming her way.

The second they stepped outside though, into the crisp late-spring air, Max felt as if she had never taken a breath so sweet. It filled her lungs with a refreshing chill and almost revived her in a way that she hadn’t been expecting. That was just from the air itself, not to mention how beautiful the grounds were, just like she expected them to be. The lawn was a perfectly manicured expanse, lit up by the ambient light from the building but darker as her view went towards the far-off trees. What she could see in the light were the fresh-blooming flowers, the gigantic shadows from the few tall trees that were left close to the building, and the dim shadows that followed every curve and crescent of the marble pillars. Max looked around, feeling like she could be in a castle if it wasn’t for the fact that the building was almost completely brilliant white. The few students who were out here, no doubt, were ignoring her and Chloe as much as she ignored them. She couldn’t imagine anyone would come out here to socialize with other people but to escape from the boisterous party on the inside.

Her fiancee made a bow in her direction again and Max looked at her and giggled. “I’m gonna start calling you my butler if you keep bowing like that,” she joked. She’d been so taken in by the view and the romance of finally being sort-of alone that the pain in her feet had almost been forgotten. Max squeezed Chloe’s hand and looked back out towards the lawn, or whatever little she could see of it. “It’s pretty…” she said, walking closer to the marble railing before putting her free hand on it and looking outward still. She paused for a second before she reached down to her left hip, then looked down when her hand hit nothing. “Oh…” she muttered, “I left my bag inside…” Not that her camera would get much of this detail anyway, but it would have been nice to commemorate. Max looked up at the pillar directly beside her, then backed up a step to see around it at the other students before she stepped forward again, hidden from their view. “How much trouble do you think I’d get in if I took these shoes off for a few minutes?” she asked, looking back at Chloe. “No one can see, right?”

“Oooh, scandalous,” Chloe quipped in response to Max’s butler comment. She watched as Max took in the view, then let herself be as cheesy as...well, as she felt to be honest. “You’re prettier,” she said, and though it was cocky, the goopiness was definitely still showing.

Chloe took her own look around, but hers was much more calculating than nervous. “How about this,” she started with a smirk. She moved closer, then lifted her fiancee up so she could sit on the railing. “We give your feet a break,” she continued, kneeling down now so that she could take off her shoes for her, then hid them away from obvious sight. While she was there, she snuck in a kiss to her calf before getting back up.

She hopped onto the railing next to her and said, “And get a better look at the scenery out there...maybe I distract you from your forgotten camera for a bit before I run back in to get it for you.” Her look was as daring as it was devilish. “How does that sound?” To make things all the more tempting, she leaned in to press a lingering, teasing kiss to the corner of her mouth, then brushed her lips against hers before pulling away again.

Shamelessly, she leaned into a better position to hop off the other side--as if she already had her answer. “So, what do you say, Caulfield?”

@shesneverleavingme

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///OOC: sorry, I’ve been dead, everyone! been goin’ through it, but slowly gettin’ better--should have posts up either later tonight or sometime tomorrow. thanks for your patience!!

EDIT: okay, so I was wildly wrong about the timing, which I annoyingly needed more of, but I WILL BE BACK. very soon, with any luck

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

Being in this moment gives Max the solace she didn’t realize she desperately needed from guilt, worry, fear and all the other less-than-pleasant feelings that have constituted her reality lately. The nagging voice in the back of her head isn’t quite silenced but it speaks more softly now, fading to the background as opposed to speaking over everything else.

She allows herself to feel loved, to feel cherished and precious now as opposed to in a future that may or may not happen for a multitude of reasons. She allows herself to love and not to worry about what that love means. The focus is on how clear it is that they both want this so much, not on how long it’s going to last or how bitter the end might be.

It’s a long time before Max even considers breaking the kiss, and when she does, she refuses to go far. Keeping her hands on either side of Chloe’s face, she looks into the blue eyes she knows better than her own.

“I love you, Chloe,” she tells her. Her voice doesn’t waver and there’s no hesitation, because this is the most fundamental truth Max could think of. “Never forget that.”

Max has said those words before, but hearing them like this is different. It hits Chloe hard and fast, but doesn’t leave her hanging on for dear life. It holds her. Spills out of her eyes, but in a way that feels fuller and better. She needs the words, said to her like this. Chloe needs the way Max looks at her.

And as much as part of her hates it, she needs that last part too. That reassurance. Maybe she won’t have Max forever, but Max wants her to know this forever. Her love...

“I love you too, Max,” Chloe murmurs in response, the corners of her lips turning up with the truth of it. It’s not a huge smile, but it’s genuine. She closes the space between them again and kisses her slowly, as if sealing it as a promise that way.

“More than anything,” she whispers against her lips before placing an additional kiss there.

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

Max knew Chloe’s sweeter side from childhood, but she knew it from the perspective of her best friend, period. Nothing more, nothing less. She’d never even considered the possibility of being more than that until recently. With destiny and her own stupid actions having swept Chloe away from her before they reached the age to date, Max never got to see what Chloe was like as a girlfriend. It’s crazy that the way that she does get to see what that’s like is by being in the position of Chloe’s partner.

She’s dedicated and so, so sweet. Nobody, Max is pretty sure, would ever look at Chloe, blue-haired, punk, high school dropout Chloe, and think that she’s the kind of girl to unceremoniously kiss the back of her girlfriend’s hand like she just did. Max feels so goddamn special that she knows that, and the rest of the world doesn’t.

That thought lingers in Max’s mind even after Chloe disappears into the hallway. It’d be easy to get lost in her own head, daydreaming about what their life together is like, but Max remembers figuring that out through snooping is exactly what she needs to be doing right now.

Max rolls off the bed and, distracted by the plan of action she’s formulating in her head, her foot narrowly misses an empty can on the floor. Expecting it to be either beer or soda like the ones that clutter Chloe’s room in… her timeline, she’s surprised as she reads the label and finds that it’s an energy drink instead. A small crease appears on her forehead, one that deepens as she looks to her side and finds the suitcase-slash-garbage-can is no longer filled with beer cans and cigarette butts, but about a dozen other empty cans of the same energy drink.

That’s… excessive, right? It can’t possibly be healthy. In fact, it’s probably as bad as the beer and soda and cigarettes. For now, though, Max pushes the thought aside, telling herself that she’ll ask about it later.

Max moves on to Chloe’s laptop. It’s as chaotic as ever – folders, named and otherwise, clutter the desktop to the point that it’s overwhelming. She can’t understand how Chloe manages to find anything there.

She clicks on a folder titled with her name and finds that, unsurprisingly, it’s filled with pictures of her, pictures she presumably took, and most of all, pictures of the both of them. Max can’t keep herself from smiling as she tries to piece together a little bit of their history together. She can see that they’ve been going strong for a while now: she notices they both look a lot younger in some of the presumably older pictures, maybe around sixteen or so. It’s sweet, she thinks, that Chloe’s held onto those for years along with the more recent ones.

There’s a folder filled with spreadsheets, too. It documents just about every cent they earn and every cent they spend. That’s how Max finds out that apparently she works at the Two Whales now, and that Chloe’s juggling not one but two jobs… and apparently saving up her hard-earned money for an apartment as well as buying film for her camera every month. Max has apparently pissed away her full scholarship, since what little she earns at the Two Whales is going towards paying for her studies at Blackwell.

Immediately, Max worries that the reason why she has to help pay for her school is because something’s happened to one or both of her parents. Panicked, she feels her pockets for her phone, her hands trembling as she unlocks it and taps through to her messages.

There’s recent ones from both her mom and dad. She breathes out her relief.

What’s odd about it, though, is that the most recent one from her dad asks if he should pick her up from her mom’s or from Chloe’s on the weekend.

Her mom’s.

So they don’t all live together anymore…?

Max’s heart sinks as she realizes what that means.

So, apparently, deleting that job offer off her dad’s e-mail has caused her and Chloe to get together, but also her mom and dad to divorce.

Maybe she was always naive, but Max could swear that her mom and dad were happy. They’d been married for almost twenty years, yet Max can’t remember a single time she’s seen them have a serious fight. Something terrible must’ve happened if they’re no longer together.

Something terrible that Max caused.

It doesn’t take a genius, after all, to connect all the dots available to her. Her dad not getting the Seattle job seems to have obliterated her family’s financial stability, possibly stressing her parents out enough to split up… and stressing her out enough that she lost her scholarship, making everything even worse for everybody around her.

With her heart weighing heavily in her chest, Max stands up, trying to process everything. Her feet drag on the floor as she takes herself back to bed, accidentally kicking something that sounds vaguely metallic further under the bed. She barely has the energy to reach for it, but ultimately does in case it’s something important.

It’s a box, and nothing in the world could have prepared her for its contents.

It’s filled with pills – there are no identifying labels to be found, which makes it easy to assume, along with the fact that they’re hidden, that they’re not prescription. Max doesn’t know a lot about drugs, but she does know from being a teenager in high school that some people take pills to stay awake longer than their bodies are supposed to.

What if that’s what Chloe’s doing, too – putting her body through hell to juggle two jobs and school just so that she can keep herself and Max afloat…?

Max’s heart pounds in her chest as she stares, wide-eyed, at her discovery.

The pride Chloe wears as she rejoins Max, toting a stack of blankets, is short-lived. Her girlfriend is crouched down by the edge of the bed...holding the pills she forgot to hide better. Shit…

She'd known that Max would find them if she left them there, but she was so tired... She forgot. That was the whole problem--the reason she'd even resorted to getting the pills. She wasn’t sure she could juggle all the shit she needed to juggle to give them a future, but fuck, she was going to try. Chloe closes her eyes for a second in shame, knowing there's no good way to spin this.

Dropping the blankets down to the floor, she hesitates for a second, but then steps closer to Max.

"I...wasn't going to use them often,” she reassures her as much as she can in this damn situation, her words coming out quickly. She doesn’t want Max to stress about this. It feel inevitable, but she doesn’t want that for her. “Just on really busy days and during finals--” Chloe shakes her head, knowing she shouldn’t list any more than that. Swallowing, she tries to pull her shit together.

“I’m...sorry,” she says, looking at her girlfriend with knitted eyebrows. “I didn’t want you to worry, but I’m being careful. I promise.”

It’s hard not to remember when the Caulfields divorced. How much Max blamed herself and tried to stuff down things that made her happy as if some film here and there would have prevented everything that’d happened.

She wants to kneel down to hold her hand or something, but feels rooted where she stands. Paralyzed. 

It was so stupid not to hide that shit better, how did she let this happen? Fuck...

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

Chloe kisses her, and Max is reminded that there is happiness to be had in this world, fucked-up and twisted and sometimes perverse as it may be.

She welcomes the kiss like she needs it as much as she needs air. Maybe she does.

She breathes her in, takes in the familiarity of their kiss. Chloe’s face feels like it was made to fit between her hands – Max lets her hand go, only to cup Chloe’s other cheek. Her skin is soft beneath her fingertips; her touch softer still.

It’s wrong that they’re doing this, a small voice inside Max’s head reminds her. It’s so wrong that they’re sitting on Rachel’s bed, too, but that voice feels distant enough now that she can ignore it. Who cares about reason when reality finally feels good?

Guilt is going to rear its ugly head later like it always does, but for now, Max allows herself to just be in the moment. She allows her lips to move against Chloe’s in the most loving kiss, just the way she wants to. It’s not desperate, rushed or even heated; Max can taste alcohol on Chloe’s tongue but that’s about where the similarities between their first kiss end. It’s so much softer and no attempts are made to contain the overflowing love coming from both parts – as if they could, anyway. If today has taught Max anything is that this – their connection, their love – is an unstoppable force as it flows through time.

Max accepts the kiss and Chloe gives it to her in full.

The kiss is for Max, but Chloe feels so goddamn loved between her hands that it feels unfair. She pours more of herself into the kiss in turn. Pressing closer, she deepens it. There’s a deliberate sort of passion in the way she captures her lips. Chloe’s sure where Max isn’t and she spells it out for the other girl in movement, in love.

She can’t say that she doesn’t care if this is temporary, but she knows it doesn’t change a damn thing.

Nothing will stop her from wanting this. Trying to contain it is more trouble and misery than it’s worth. So, Chloe doesn’t.

Her thumb brushes lovingly across Max’s cheek and she gives her everything. Their love is bigger than what may or may not fucking happen. Their love is bigger than circumstance.

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

n0irangel:

“Only for literal years.”

Whoa.

Max almost exclaims aloud, but somehow manages to keep her utter shock to the realm of her thoughts.

How did this happen? Why? Up to what point is this version of Chloe the same as the one she knows, and where and why do the differences begin?

Max isn’t complaining, of course (god help her), she’s just confused. She feels a bit of guilt, as well – isn’t it kind of fucked that she gets to have this, but Chloe has no idea the only reason why it’s happening is because she somehow managed to mess with the past? How is she meant to stay here and… be her girlfriend, while she’s hiding so much from her?

It gets hard to focus on what Chloe’s saying again, but Max manages to piece it together enough to understand the message. As absolutely surreal as that is, Chloe’s asking what she wants to do for a date.

“Y-you, uh, haven’t been neglectful,” Max replies, attempting to sound as confident as she can when she actually has no idea what happened in the past five years of her life. It’s a bit hard to sound anything but nervous, too, when Chloe’s being so touchy-feely with her in a way that doesn’t even compare to what she’s experienced before.

She tries to relax beneath her touch, though. To enjoy it. The latter is easier than the former, to no one’s surprise.

“We could, uh… do something here?” Max suggests. There’s some reasoning behind it: if they stay here, then she can have a look around and try to piece together at least some of the things she missed from the last five years. In an attempt to make herself seem a little more natural (yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that’s the reason, Max), her hand twitches a little with hesitation before it finds Chloe’s, resting on the mattress.

Chloe’s expression softens as Max reassures her. She wasn’t terribly serious when she’d said that, but it was downright adorable that her girlfriend made sure to clarify anyway. She really nabbed the sweetest girl...

“You’ve got it!” About to move to get things rolling, Chloe stops as Max’s hand falls over hers. Her expression brightens and she eases her weight back onto the bed again so she can linger a little in Max’s touch.

When she shifts her weight again, it’s to turn her hand around, lacing their fingers together. She squeezes gently, then lifts their joined hands. “Since you’ve been such a good girl...” Chloe presses a kiss to Max’s hand before continuing, “Let me set up. You just relax and I’ll be right back.”

Giving her hand another squeeze, she then lets go so she can get to it. But before she ventures off into the attic for extra blankets and lights...

Leaning in again, she presses a kiss to the side of her girlfriend’s head.

Smiling brightly, she shifts away and forces herself off the bed and out of the room.

@n0irangel

[fire-walk]

shesneverleavingme:

If she had been faster, both physically and mentally, she might have taken the treat away in order to lean in and give Chloe a kiss instead. It could have been a playful ruse, something that would make Chloe laugh and grin with her devil-may-care smile. As it was, Chloe was so unbelievably cute that it made Max’s heart melt, and even when she was watching her fiancee chew she couldn’t help but swoon a little. ‘Not worth a rewind…’ she thought, knowing that any rewind she did might be cute in the moment but would erase how cute Chloe was right now, not to mention risk her getting a nosebleed and ruin her makeup or her dress…

Instead, Max smiled and looked over towards where the camera was set-up. A fake backdrop was set up in front of it, a photographer looking bored as they leaned against the wall, finally in a lull. Max reached for Chloe’s hand and squeezed it. “We should go,” she said, looking back at her fiancee with wide, sparkling eyes. “It’s quiet now so we won’t have to wait in line for forever… These shoes are already killing me.” The downside of dressing up, for sure, was that her favorite sneakers were traded in for the low heels. She wasn’t sure if there was a part of her feet that wasn’t sore right now. “I really wanna go for a walk around the building, if we even can, but I think my feet might fall off if I tried,” she said with a small sigh at the end. Oh well, it wasn’t like that would make or break her night, but she could only imagine how pretty outside of the hotel would be with the lights lighting up the columns and the stars sparkling over the perfectly manicured lawns.

Max slowly stood up and held out both hands for Chloe, as if Chloe wasn’t able to get up herself. “Come on, I know you’re not full enough that you can’t move yet,” she said with a teasing and sweet smile. “And, if you’re a good girl, we can swing back by the dessert table again and get you more.”

After getting their fair share of classic prom photos with a gay twist (and a few blurry ones where Chloe made Max laugh--hell yeah), Chloe grabbed Max’s hand and tugged before she could question it.

“If your feet are truly dead, I’ll carry you,” she insisted. Yeah, yeah, she was a lazy smoker, but it was her fiancee’s night and said fiancee was tiny anyways. She’d make it work. “But I think...you don’t want to miss this,” she said, leading her outside. Max had talked about it, after all, but it was different actually seeing the thing you wanted. Chloe wanted to see the ways her eyes sparkled--wanted to keep causing it, forever.

And, sure enough, Max looked as beautiful outside as she did inside. The fresh air was nice too and it was much less crowded, though there were a few students scattered about here and there.

Chloe didn’t pay them much mind, preferring to look at the same subject she’d been ogling all night in Max. “So, what do you say, m’lady?” Chloe asked with joking pompousness and a little bow. “Shall you walk or be carried?”

@shesneverleavingme