fire-keeper

[fire-keeper]

it's always funny when someone's like "why can't we have a serial killer that targets awful people like abusive ceos" because like...the thing is serial killers are generally not great people who want to make the world a better place . this can be seen in the killing and torturing.

[fire-keeper]

nothing but heart eyes for the Angriest Boy Alive

[fire-keeper]

Elijah Wood, Daniel Radcliffe, and Robert Pattison all have this like... this vibe. This energy.

I'm not quite sure what it is...but it's something.

[fire-keeper]

Shane, during Ryan's solo investigation: I came out here to scare the shit out of Ryan Bergara, and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

[fire-keeper]

the most "fucking, fair enough i guess" response ive ever gotten to something i said was in the ER

me: hi, i need a rabies shot triage nurse: oh? why's that? me: i got bitten by a bat triage nurse: what were you doing that you got bitten by a bat at 3 in the morning? me: removing a bat from my bedroom

[fire-keeper]

I just know Damian Wayne has fallen victim to every single “spell icup” and deez nuts joke known to man at least once, poor kid has maybe even been subjected to the betrayal of a “down low, too slow” that has resulted in him vowing to never give anyone an “up top” ever again. The league did not prepare him for his siblings asking him if he’s ever been to Bofa.

[fire-keeper]

Tim: Like I said, we need more help.

Bruce: Maybe I should call my friends.

Damian: Your what?

Bruce: My friends.

Stephanie: Is he saying “friends”?

Jason: I think he’s being sarcastic.

Duke: No, no, no. This is delirium. He’s cracked from being awake all night.

Dick: Hey, Bruce, all of your friends are in this room.

Bruce: I have other friends. You asked me to make new friends. I made new friends. It was a task. I complete tasks.

[fire-keeper]

palmolive aquarium hand soap

[fire-keeper]

[fire-keeper]

"defend your thesis" why are you attacking my thesis

[fire-keeper]

[fire-keeper]

can i use a calculator on the ap french exam

this mother fucker trying to solve french

[fire-keeper]

the fact that none of the night at the museum movies were rated over 50% by critics is a reminder that some ppl don’t know how to have fun. the first two movies were flawless. a night watch guard has to babysit museum displays that come to life, complete w old school villains and endless historical crossovers? incredible concept, incredible execution

[fire-keeper]

You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.

[fire-keeper]

at first i was afraid i was petrified. after that i was still afraid and petrified. the fear and petrifaction continued on until the evening. and then i was sleepy. and i slept

[fire-keeper]

[fire-keeper]