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Just got in touch with a small org about doing some volunteer grant writing. May also volunteer marketing services to a small HIV/AIDS awareness org. So stoked! I miss working.

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platitudes.

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DTMFA

no time for douchebags.

also, started med-surg last week. shit just got real.

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masochistic hero complex

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Love anything that lives—a person, a pet, a plant—and it will die. Trust anybody and you may be hurt; depend on anyone and that one may let you down. The price of cathexis is pain. If someone is determined not to risk pain, then such a person must do without many things: having children, getting married, the ecstasy of sex, the hope of ambition, friendship—all that makes life alive, meaningful and significant. Move out or grow in any dimension and pain as well as joy will be your reward. A full life will be full of pain. But the only alternative is not to live fully or not to live at all.

M. Scott Peck

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(via the-girlieshow)

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"Stay strong through the struggle; that's what life is about."

Better day at the hospital today.  Our patient was going to be discharged in the afternoon so he was pretty healthy; able to move on his own and eat solid food. A needed break from the intense situations I've been in for the last few weeks. Seriously getting hazed hospital style, but I guess it could be worse.

Gotta stay focused...just putting in my time so I can get to where I want to be...

Side note: nurses do NOT make enough money for the service that they provide to society. Seriously underpaid and undervalued.

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Every time I get freaked out by something gross at the hospital, I think to myself, "if I can't do health care, there are always med spas..." Guh. Have to think of this as an investment...

So far I have seen: a 22 year old young adult in locked-in syndrome and suffering from multiple organ failure, condition arising from complications during a laparoscopic procedure for his ulcers. Prognosis very poor. A 67 year old man, hospitalized for pneumonia acquired at a nursing home, previously septic.  Nonverbal but responsive to pain.  HIV+. A 50+ year old man, hospitalized for seizures related to detoxing from alcoholism.  Mobile and verbal but couldn't vocalize due to his tracheostomy.  Was a candidate for weaning off the respiratory but needed to wait for his fever to subside. A 74 year old man, hospitalized for pneumonia. Positive for MRSA. Hx of chronic kidney disease, so he needed to be on dialysis but since he was tachycardic they couldn't proceed.

YEAH. My life is effing crazy right now. Med spa med spa med spa med spa.

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Ugh.

Emooooooooooo

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Love it when people hear that I am going to become a family nurse practitioner and they ask, "why don't you just become a doctor?"  Um, why don't YOU just become a doctor, douche?

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Dilemma

Columbia University or Johns Hopkins...a pretty sweet dilemma to be caught in, if you ask me.  :]

Although my life is far from perfect, right now I am content with just letting things be, focusing on my future career, and taking my butt to this candlelit vinyasa yoga class in a few hours.

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Got to stop letting guys treat me like dirt.

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Dear guy friend:

Not sure when in the last 3 years you turned into a douche and decided that hitting on me constantly and denying that it is happening or means anything is an OK way to treat a friend.  But, given that I know that you are a sweetheart deep down inside, that you are working your buns off to achieve your life goals and that this has isolated you recently, and that you are in the process of a long breakup with your ladyfriend of 3 years, I will accept you and give you the love and care you need right now.

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For me, modesty is seriously the sexiest trait a person could ever have.  Gimme dat.

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If Money Were of No Concern

I would fill my days with drawing, knitting, and ceramics, using my favorite music and imagery collected from the Internet to inspire me.  I would recharge my creative juices and stores of mental energy by reading a few pages out of a new novel, by cooking something simple but delicious, or by dancing in front of the mirror to give my body the love and attention it needs.  I would surround myself with handmade items crafted with intention, using my awareness of the humanity poured into each piece to enhance my awareness of the connected force that runs between all of us.

That would be, hands down, the most fulfilling personal life that I could ever imagine.

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k1, p1

So so so so so so happy that knitwear is FINALLY stylish!  I can now knit to my little heart's content and not feel like a total grandma.

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Holy crap.  Forever 21 just stocked a blue satchel that is pretty similar to the one that I had bought last year.  :buys ten: