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aftg in a nutshell

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“you don’t know fear until you know me.”

poem from the blog widowbitesandhearingaids

don’t repost | my instagram 

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they are so andreil coded

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So, after a life of near total social isolation, Neil’s first real connection you would call friendship is with Kevin

Kevin learned his friendship skills from 1. The Ravens (Mafia sport cult) 2. Andrew

After a life of abuse and abandonment, Andrew’s first real experience of friendship is Renee

And Renee’s main socialization in life before college is 1. Born-again church 2. Knife gang

Feel like the upperclassmen need to cut Neil more slack with the whole “doesn’t understand how normal friendship works” thing. He’s four layers deep into the world’s most unhelpful game of human interaction telephone

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hey! I hope those aftg asks aren’t getting tiring lol but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the recent fandom treatment of Kevin, which seems to be mainly seeing him as a victim mistreated both in canon by the other foxes & by nora himself? Like I remember in the earlier days of aftg (like maybe around 2016? 2017??) there definitely wasn’t this kind of focus or view of Kevin & I feel like he was treated with somewhat more nuance then? And this could be related to the growing hate for Nora since then but you don’t see people say the same things about the other foxes?? This is a very messy ask lol but I’m genuinely so confused about this trend esp because Kevin seems to be the only fox (as far ive seen anyways) that people are holding up as a victim w/o any nuance

I have a lot of fun answering these, I just sometimes take a minute to get to them lol

Okay so I definitely know what you’re talking about with the Kevin thing. The first major factor is that AFTG has finished coming you years ago, and Nora has not actively engaged with the fandom since 2016. I came around into AFTG in 2017 as a reader, and looking at the fanart. Mostly by then you see the race headcanons locked into place and the beginning of the split between fanon and canon. Without more canon, fanon content starts to develop as whoever is more influential the fan creators (fic authors, fan artists) start to do things that trend. As a time passes in a fandom, it tends to split into niches, people who see things a certain way and want to see more of that follow each other and gain followers who agree with them. 

There is definitely a Kevin centric niche that thinks those things. I don’t think there was as much focus in general on Kevin back in 2017, but I also was pretty new. But there were no extreme Anti-Andrew fans, back then it was “you are either a fan of Nicky or a fan of Aaron.” People didnt have “dni choking apologists” on their blogs. 

I think choking discourse is a good example of the rise of Kevin. Andrew must fall for Kevin to rise. There are kandreil fans that genuinely like all three, and some ace/aro Kevin fans that like him just as he is, but a lot of Kevin centric content I see now on tumblr is about how Andrew is the real villain of AFTG for choking Kevin, despite Kevin violently choking Neil in book 1. 

Back in 2018 they weren’t pitted against the other and I think the whole “you can only like one character or the other” thing is stupid imo. I like Nicky more than Aaron, but I still think they’re both interesting characters. Ive seen a lot of “Kevin was only a victim” takes, and in fact got cyber bullied for a while by some people who thought I was too mean to Kevin in some of my HC by implying he also had some power in the nest and likely hurt others, and that he feels guilt over it. :/ but there is also a similar niche with “you can’t blame Aaron for his homophobia, his mom was abusive, and she likely made him that way.”

It’s the most similar discourse trend I’ve seen to the Kevin discourse. It’s a similar lack of nuance, and I think people inflict it their favorite character because they don’t want to have a ‘problematic fav.’ Aaron is canonly homophobic, Neil says directly after him and Andrew ‘come out’ to the others, that he was waiting to see the same grief Aaron gave Nicky over his sexuality. It doesn’t mean he can’t be also a good character or a person someone likes, in fact well written characters have dimensions and flaws. 

Which that whole mess is similar to the whole Kevin thing. I think people fall in love with the idea of Nora’s characters, or maybe the fanon characters–but not the real characters. Which is also why they say the author hates them, because they got written to do bad things or not be in the story as much, they defend these characters as if they were real people who need defending, need to be saved from being erased. These characters become “their character.”

I think this also happens because people kin characters and identify with them a lot, so when I said “Kevin was in a position in power in the nest too, even in second place” and then receive threats for how I personally hurt someone who’s a CSA survivor because of my Kevin HC I’m like (o – o). I think these people project so hard onto Kevin and design him in their mind, they feel as if character flaw HCs or depictions of Kevin struggling and being mean are personal insults, or at least very personally insulting. And I don’t want to sound like an ass, but like my Kevin isn’t the same as their Kevin, my Kevin is my Kevin. 

I see skinny art of Andrew and art of Neil as white or ginger, these don’t align with my personal HC’s about them, but like that’s what I chose to go with. Nora uses language that makes me believe Neil has dark auburn hair, but if people want him to be ginger idc. In canon he was written with the intent to be white, I ignore that because I think him being mixed adds more depth to his character (as well as me being tired of only white mlm, and have updated my reading list). Andrew wasn’t imagined by Nora to be fat either, but I HC him as like a mini muscle bear instead of Toby Hemingway. 

I keep the canon intent in mind to remind myself how she actually saw them and how that can color canon and how other people are allowed to see Neil as white and Andrew as skinny. Like I understand why people get annoyed over other peoples hc’s, I feel similarly sometimes. But like at the end of the day, you just gotta move out of that fandom niche and into a new one or just ignore the post.

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my biggest obstacle as a writer is that i desperately want to be a popular and well-known fic author, but my main fic inspiration comes from characters most fans don’t want to read fic for, or ideas that go against popular fanon/characterization and so are doomed from the start. i end up feeling paralyzed and like i can’t write the unpopular ideas I want to write, because i hate knowing i could have done better by writing something with broader appeal. but whenever i try to write solely for numbers i lose motivation while the halfway through the fic. so i end up unable to write anything and feeling miserable because of it.

i want to see my unpopular ideas come to life, but i don’t want to see my fics crash and burn and keep missing the chance to create fic that people really love. so most times, i don’t write anything, but i hate that i’m so hamstrung by my own anxieties. i so desperately wish i could create one of those extremely well-known long fics that most people love and always rec everywhere, but i feel like i’m completely incapable of that. i know i should be writing for myself, but i’m greedy and want results and for people to like my fic, however unlikely that is. wanting to write my ideas but knowing i’ll limit my audience if i do is something that’s constantly on my mind. do you have any advice for me?

My biggest question after reading your ask is simply: why?

You're very clear about wanting to be a popular writer. You want to write a fic that lots of people talk about, and you want people to know who you are. Have you examined that desire at all?

You say that the things you actually want to write are not the things that will make you a popular author. That means you have a choice:

write things you don't care about with no guarantee of becoming that Big Name Fan or

write things you love and enjoy spending time writing and know that BNF status will probably never happen.

Writing fanfic is really not a great way to try to become popular. It's an even worse way to try to become "famous" in any kind of way. So dig into what it is that you hope to get from the "broader audience" that you could appeal to by writing something you don't really like.

Are you trying to get a feeling of being liked? Respected? Looked up to? Do you want to be someone other fans look to for advice or for setting the tone of the fandom? Do you want love? Power? Some kind of community connection? Recognition of the effort you put into your works?

Some of those things likely will require you to pretend to be someone you're not. You might even manage to write that one big fic that gets thousands of comments and tons of people talking about it on tumblr (or wherever else you care about, social media-wise).

Others you can probably still get by writing your "unpopular" ideas but seeking out your fellow fans. It will take more legwork to find them and you'll need to be willing to be the first one to reach out for a conversation, but it can definitely be done.

I'll leave it up to you to decide what you actually want, anon. But take your time and scrape off the top layer of shiny thoughts about popularity first. Then you'll be able to see what's underneath.

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Okay so I decided that I am incapable of making the post I wanted to before, so I’ve changed the way I’m doing it. Here are the things that I noticed while reading The Foxhole Court that are often gotten wrong in fanon:

I’m pretty sure Kevin was definitely physically abused in the Nest (and all of it’s sub-categories).

Kevin was actually pretty close with Jean.

Kevin is actually very violent.

Andrew doesn’t fight Kevin’s fights.

Matt’s relationship with Kevin is complicated.

Matt has an understanding with the Monsters.

Andrew doesn’t completely ignore the Upperclassmen – and even willingly interacts with them sometimes.

Andrew actually listens to Dan during practice.

Andrew comforts Kevin. A Lot.

Kevin knows that Andrew doesn’t like the word “Please.”

The way Andrew and Neil act when it comes to touch is so backwards.

I am 100% interested in explaining more and if you want to hear my reasons/see examples of any of these then I am more than willing to share and have a conversation about it!

However, do keep in mind that I gathered all of this from only the first book of the series - so even as confident as I am in this, I am also willing to go through the other two books if you feel that I am wrong about something, or if you want more examples! The point of me sticking to only the first book was to study the behaviors of the characters when they had little to no influence from Neil. Obviously some things do change later in the series! But this list is based only on things I could find in The Foxhole Court.

(Also, final note: Please understand that this is NOT me condemning the entire fandom, or any creators in particular, or anything like that at all. This was purely something I did for my own enjoyment, because I had been going through the book for another reason and began to notice these things. I completely support the creators of all kinds in this fandom, I’m just intrigued to see what kind of content is most often ignored or forgotten by the fandom!)

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Show your father some respect, aftg style

Has this been done yet?

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Smile, kid, smile. The thing that makes us humans

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I absolutely HATE how Kevin Day gets treated by the fandom like he’s this overly cowardly person that has no right to be traumatized because he didn’t have it as “bad” as characters like Andrew or Neil or Jean. Like??? First off, people’s traumas (even if they are fictional) shouldn’t be compared to each other??? Yes, there are DIFFERENCES in traumatic experiences and their severity but that doesn’t mean that peoples reactions to their trauma needs to reflect that.

Throughout the series, Kevin is trying to do his best and play a game that was the exact thing that was associated with his abuser. He was with Riko and Tetsuji for YEARSSSSSS and throughout the series he is trying to stand up against his abusers, people who have so much power that Kevin is aware of first hand, and people try to act like he is weak or cowardly and dramatic??? He does he succeed in standing up to them numerous times throughout the series, but even if he didn’t he is still directly facing the very people who he was essentially trapped with that caused him trauma.

His experiences in life differ from the other aftg characters (just like how EVERYONE does) which means that obviously his reactions are going to be different from others. Saying that he is weak or annoying or overly dramatic with his very realistic and real reactions to his literal abusers is just. so fucked.

Also, before going to the Moriyama’s Kevin was able to have at least a partially normal and loving childhood with his mom, and then getting that ripped away from him? That ALONE is enough to fuck someone up.

Anyways, you can’t compare traumas and peoples reactions to them!!! This turned into a massive ramble that doesn’t even make much sense, but in conclusion: I LOVE KEVIN DAY!

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Absolute bullshit in the aftg canon that I will nonetheless defend to my death:

- Wymack apparently having zero suspicions whatsoever that the fatherless baby born nine months after he banged Kayleigh Day might be his

- Nora’s fucked up all-the-seats-on-one-side bus design. The implications for weight distribution genuinely keep me awake at night

- Neil’s high school exy court was built on top of a football field, implying that all these high schoolers were playing sports in a huge outdoor glass box in the Arizona sun and somehow not dropping dead from heat exhaustion

- speaking of exhaustion, Neil somehow doesn’t collapse from sleep deprivation in his first year despite getting at best four hours a night. Not outwith the realms of possibility considering Neil’s general hardiness and suicidal dedication, but I’m concerned for him all the same.

- you can rationalise this to me all u like but I refuse to believe any justification for how the cousins plus Neil with their varying levels of German all know the word for “dashboard lighter”

- entire exy world collectively watching this weird emo teen bird cult running around with honest to god face tattoos and just being like yep :))) they sure are dedicated ::)))) nothing concerning here at all ::))))))))

- Nathan was canonically barefoot when he arrived in the basement to kill Neil. Not unrealistic per se, just... Very disturbing.

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reading the sunshine court truly made me realize just how unbelievably fucking insane the foxes were as a team/family unit.

like wdym your coach is your star players father and didn’t know? wdym multiple people on your team have killed people??? how do multiple people on your team have mafia connections??

usc could hardly believe the ravens intentionally injured jean while the foxes were used to the ravens regularly using vandalism, kidnapping, torture, psychological warfare, and murder against their team

usc talks out their interpersonal team problems while the foxes blackmail eachother into joint therapy until they break a bros before hoes pact

the trojans have no-touch jerseys for practice while the foxes were getting punched, stabbed, choked, and suffering major bodily harm at the hands of another teammate at any given moment in the series

jeremy makes sure jean doesn’t meet the team all at once to not overwhelm him while andrew has a habit of quite literally breaking in the new members in columbia

the trojans tiptoed around and almost didn’t believe kevin’s hand injury while one of neil’s first conversations w the man is yelling “fuck you cripple, you’re a dead weight has been” in french in front of half the team

jeremy avoids cops while neil forces fbi agents to wait for him to finish eating, proceeds to blatantly lie to their faces, and then fucks off

usc would’ve thrown the semi finals match if jean hadn’t survived but seth fucking DIED and kevin and neil were only worried about how it’d affect the line up

jeremy gets furious when he finds out about grayson while neil fucking orders a hit out on him right in front of jean on a napkin over lunch

i was surprised by how hard the trojans were taking things until i remembered the foxes were just grade a crazy

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I pity you a bit. If I really think about it.

Why must I fear you. I pity your soul, for it's corroded and festered and lost.

And maybe you hurt me, but as long as I know the shape of my soul I'll be just fine.

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Twinyards

First art piece I’ve done of the Minyard brothers! I thought I’d draw something with Aaron and Andrew because their relationship and their characters make my psychology brain go brrr…sometimes I consider writing an essay about them…

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Can you imagine how Andrew felt getting back from rehab? He’s just been through months of withdrawal and repeated trauma, but this is par for the course for him. This is what he does. He takes the brutality to protect his loved ones from it. And he gets back to find that the guy he had a crush on, who he thinks is a side effect of the drugs, walked into a torture dungeon for two weeks to try and save him from getting more hurt? No one in Andrew’s life had ever fought for him like that before. No one had tried to protect him before. Andrew knows how scared Neil is of Riko. But Neil went anyways. How heartbreaking must it have been for Andrew to finally experience being cared for?

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I wonder how the Japanese mafia would feel if they knew their ability to keep operating depends on Nicky Hemmick’s ability to keep a secret.

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The real tattoos

Drawing these made me realise I can’t wait for the rest of Jean’s reinvention. He’s the most powerful force on the board and hasn’t even got started yet…