fernlock-sholmes

[fernlock-sholmes]

I love new trends on the Internet

I don't have to think about what I'm going to draw today

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he called apollo by his actual name for the sake of the meme okay

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I want to start this off with some validation for my nonbinary audience. You are so valid, no matter how much you transition socially or medically. I know personally the discrimination you can face even without medical transitioning. I understand, and I'm here for you.

Leftists or left-leaning people are not going to make it through these next four years if we cannot stop the in-fighting and recognize nuance.

This whole debate I've seen about trans people who medically transition being the ones who face discrimination & not medically transitioning being a privilege seems (from the multiple posts I've seen on it) to really lack nuance and perspective.

There's no doubt that people who medically transition frequently face discrimination and can face more severe discrimination than others.

At the same time, I need people to know that even socially transitioning can put people at risk. It put me at risk, and I experienced physical violence for socially transitioning.

There are trans people (including nonbinary) who live in seriously backward places. I am one of them. I have not done any medical procedures, taken any hormones, or anything medical at all to transition. I use to present more "queer", playing with gender presentation, sometimes to the point of appearing "masculine". After multiple times of being harassed, I was threatened with a gun & knew I had to stop. All while never medically changing anything about myself. Of course, I'm not ignorant. I cannot imagine what it would be like for a black, visibly trans woman in my area. At the same time, that's why there aren't trans people here. The few trans people I've made connections with have left this area. When I tried to inquire about medically transitioning, no one knew what I was talking about. Even just asking about hormones, I was constantly transferred to womens' clinics with no notice because it was assumed I was a woman in need of more estrogen. When I tried to get a trans inclusive doctor, I was immediately medically marked as "female-to-male transgender". This doctor refused to hear me out about being nonbinary, tried to force me to take hormones, and when I rejected those hormones, he sent my prescription for birth control to a women's clinic (after he said he'd handle that scrip for me). After this, he even deflected my appointments to urgent care. Until recently, I had that female-to-male diagnosis on my patient chart. It was also stated I used he/him pronouns (not accurate, but still some trans visibility in my medical docs). Not a single medical professional in 7 years ever acknowledged that. The gynecologist didn't, nurses didn't, front desk attendants didn't, ER workers didn't, etc. I didn't even think that sort of thing was on my chart since no one ever acted like it was there.

This area is so bad, and it's only gotten worse under trump, that I've gotten to the point that I told my new doctor I was lying about being trans. That I was confused. Now, my female-to-male diagnosis is "resolved".

All I've been able to do is change my name. I can't mess with my presentation. People here (even so called leftists) have misgendered me because of my lack of medical transitioning or "looking like a woman".

While I'm not at all debating that trans people who are visibly trans face more discrimination, I also want these kinds of struggles and trans people to be seen. I wake up every day and have to be okay with both the fact that medically I can't transition even if I wanted to, and I can't even play with my gender presentation because it's so unsafe.

I wake up every day and am seen as someone I'm not, gendered as someone I'm not, with conversations and expectations happening around those ideas.

This can and does keep me safer than I was when I looked "queer". It also makes me feel so invisible and unseen. It's miserable being "stealth". There's privilege in that stealth, but it's also extremely damaging for the trans person who's hiding. I thought "I Saw the TV Glow" made it clear how much it hurts to not be your genuine self. That can and does apply to nonbinary people too. I hope the trans community as a whole isn't forgetting these things, or even overlooking them, while discussing trans-based discrimination.

Please remember to be kind. We've got a lot of pain ahead of all of us in these 4 years (and probably beyond, sadly).

[fernlock-sholmes]

happy valentine's day to my gay doctors💊🩺

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your favorite satan's son

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happy unease and uncertainty day

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Ace Attorney is so wild, the varying ages with prosecutors specifically means you get Phoenix, a 25-26 year old, arguing with a 17 year old (Klavier) and an 18 year old (Franziska). BUT ALSO. That means that multiple defense attorneys (who tend to not have the same age variety) argued with a fucking 13 year old, AND Franziska had an undefeated win streak until she was 18, meaning a ton of adult defense attorneys argued with a young teenager and lost.

In the wise words of one Phoenix Wright:

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it's them!!

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that’s it that’s the whole show

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My name is...

[fernlock-sholmes]

more Herlock with eyebags and crooked teeth cause he's so beautiful to me <3

[fernlock-sholmes]

i was compelled

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original below cut

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the four horsemen of the apocalypse (wherein you say something interestingly sus)

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i can be yuor angle or your devil…

[fernlock-sholmes]

I want him carnally