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[felawnie]

Singing the Approach

“You’re coming on this delivery,” Zhee told me with a flick of his antennae. “We have to make noises as we walk up.”

“What kind of noises?” I asked, accepting the tablet he held out. 

“There’s a sound file.” He angled his head away, but with eyes that big, he was still looking at me. “I’m not going to try to copy it. That’s on you.”

I opened the briefing for our newest clients, which included a rundown on their species and a sound file for a standard greeting. Well, standard for an offworld courier delivering something they’d ordered. Apparently there were many types of greetings. I played the top one, and it sounded like whale song. 

I looked at Zhee. “Sure we can’t just play this really loud?”

Zhee angled his antennae into a no. “Captain says they’ll like us better if it’s an actual voice. Are your human voice-bits up to that?”

“Yeah, shouldn’t be too hard.” I cleared my throat and gave it a shot. It sounded like a childish imitation to me, but a subtle twitch of Zhee’s antennae suggested he was pretending not to be impressed. 

“Good enough,” he said. “I’m going because I’ll need to open the crates before they accept them.” He flexed a pincher arm, purple exoskeleton shining. “You get to do the talking.”

“They speak Doorway, right?” I asked, looking through the file. “If it’s one of the more obscure trade languages, we may want to bring Coals or Trrili along.”

“Yes, Doorway continues to open many doors,” Zhee said with an aggravated sigh (his favorite kind). He was probably grumpy that a language from his own species hadn’t taken off like this one had. But not every race was up to the intricacies of that many different hisses. And the Heatseekers had crafted Doorway with interplanetary communication in mind, a level of cooperation that would have surprised me coming from Mesmer society as a whole.

“I heard my name,” said a voice from hip height.

“Hey, Coals,” I said to our shortest and most patient crewmate. “I was just wondering if the delivery will need your translation skills, but it sounds like not.” I angled the tablet so he could see.

He gave it a look then nodded, scaly face as calm as ever. “Oh, those folks. I wonder if there was ever a consensus on whether their own name for themselves translates as ‘Ground-grabbers’ or ‘Ground-huggers.’ They do embrace each other with their grabbing arms, so last I heard, it was hard to say.”

The customer was listed on the tablet as a “Ground-grabber.” It was kind of a silly name to my way of thinking, but I’d heard worse. I said, “It probably won’t come up in conversation if we just stick to business.”

“Keep an eye out for the Tree-grabbers,” Coals said. “They live nearby but higher up. And the things barely count as trees, but it’s the best we could do.”

“Right,” I said. I wanted to ask more, but the intercom chimed with the “about to land” noise. We all took our positions: I followed Zhee to the cargo hold and Coals continued on to whatever he’d been doing.

While I waited for the ship to land, I entertained myself with the realization that the species names could also be translated as “landlubbers” and “treehuggers.”

The view when the door finally opened was of a blue-skied desert scrubland, with a town made of sturdy one-floor buildings constructed out of dusty red clay blocks.

Coals would have blended right in, I thought as I helped maneuver the hoversled down the ramp. That might have been a problem, actually. The briefing had been clear that the Ground-grabbers had poorer eyesight than average, which was why the polite thing to do was to herald your arrival.

Speaking of which… I cleared my throat again and sang my best whale song while Zhee and I towed the package toward the three large figures walking toward us. Not for the first time, I was very glad for the captain and the pilots watching from the cockpit, who would let us know if there was a problem. They’d already gotten permission to land, and talked with someone who was sending out the right people to meet us.

People who looked an awful lot like rhinos with a creepy set of extra arms reaching out from their backs — long-fingered like they were meant to be wings, but had gotten sidetracked on the evolutionary path.

Right. Ground-grabbers.

They sang more whale song back, then to my relief, greeted us in Doorway. The conversation went smoothly. I described everything that we were bringing them — exactly what they’d ordered, packaged at an offworld store — and Zhee easily cranked open the lids for inspection.

The exotic food that they’d ordered was extremely sour fruit with a smell that made my eyes water. I would have worried about looking unprofessional for a moment there, but I was pretty sure they didn’t notice the face I made before wiping my eyes.

After they did some sniffing, and some careful fondling with the grabber arms, they declared the items acceptable and had Zhee put the lids back on. While the Ground-grabber in front was signing the payment tablet, I caught motion from the corner of my eye. I turned to look and I heard something like whale song, just higher-pitched.

Oh, I thought. So these are the Tree-grabbers. They scampered across the dusty ground like long-limbed monkeys, pausing every so often to look around for danger, in the manner of prey animals everywhere. They had big eyes and mousy ears, plus tiny little horn nubbins on their noses. Their top set of arms looked much like the lower ones, probably very useful for climbing the giant cactus-things in the distance.

I had a theory about the evolution of these two species.

The landlubbers turned to greet the treehuggers in a moment of beautiful music, with both groups singing together. Then it devolved into conversation that I couldn’t follow, since they weren’t bothering with Doorway now. But soon they turned to address me.

The Ground-grabber still holding the tablet asked me in her deep voice, “How long would it take for you to bring this same amount for them?” The Tree-grabbers hopped in barely restrained excitement.

“Let me check with the captain,” I said, glancing at Zhee. I took out my phone and called back to the ship, stepping away while he finalized the payment for the first delivery.

Captain Sunlight had of course been watching from the cockpit, and already had an answer for me. I relayed it to the Tree-grabbers, who thought it sounded fantastic, and the captain said she’d be right out to negotiate.

The bravest Tree-grabber asked, “Can your airwing land closer to our home?” He pointed a long arm toward the cactuses, which I now realized had tiny figures climbing the many spikes and branches, along with dark spots that looked like doors. “There is a section of high ground. We can meet there. We’d never ask an offworlder to climb.”

Zhee hissed a laugh. “This one might like the chance.” He pointed an elbow at me.

“Well,” I said. “It might be a bit of a challenge with this many crates.”

The Tree-grabber wiggled his ears like a cartoon mouse. “Oh? Maybe afterward?”

“I mean…” I looked at Zhee. “I wouldn’t say no to a quick visit.” Zhee was quietly laughing at me, which wasn’t a surprise.

“Excellent!” the Tree-grabber said.

The Ground-grabbers moved to unload the sled. “Don’t let the Air-grabbers catch the scent of it,” said the lead one.

This was news. “Air-grabbers?” I asked.

The big rhino’s arms were busy with the crates (and Zhee’s help), but the little monkey-mouse pointed behind our ship. I hadn’t really looked in that direction yet, and I found a flat mountaintop back there holding what might have been another city. And the sides were speckled with possible windows.

“They live up high, but they’re always down here pestering everyone else,” said the monkey-mouse.

“Nobody likes an Air-grabber,” rumbled the rhino, balancing a crate on her back. “They never herald their approach, and they come from above!”

“So rude,” agreed the Tree-grabber. “They think any door that’s open is an invitation, just because they can fly right to it. They would probably make you deliver to the side of their cliffs. Those are much harder to climb than trees!”

Zhee gave me a look.

“Well. Especially with the crates.”

The monkey-mouse looked shocked. “Really? Your people climb things like that?”

Zhee answered before I could. “Humans climb anything they can, and a few things they can’t. Plus they wear ‘wing-suits’ sometimes that lets them glide on artificial wings.”

I asked him, “When did I tell you about wingsuits?”

He spread his mandibles in a grin. “I looked it up after you climbed on top of that other ship at the spaceport.”

“Hey, that wasn’t my idea; she needed help with maintenance up there.”

“And you didn’t see anyone else volunteering without an antigrav pack.”

“Oh!” said the Tree-grabber. “Do you have a source for those? Some of our elders could really use them.”

“Let’s ask the captain,” I said with a look toward the ship. Captain Sunlight and Paint were heading toward us, two lizardy figures with a recording of whale song, since their vocal cords weren’t quite up to human-level mimicry. “I’m pretty sure there was a store that sold them at the same spaceport as these fruits. And yes—” I said to Zhee, “It was run by humans.”

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[felawnie]

eggplant/indigo/turquoise

[felawnie]

[felawnie]

some rp related stuff i drew on a whim, feat. me and friends' characters -- a bunch of rogue knights half of which are also legit wizards

[felawnie]

his princess sketch version

Since I make it for my portfolio so I want to post my sketch hehe

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A sailor fish man, I see I see, and what is the genitals situation on this fish man >_>

i have been laughing at the fact that when i first posted about him this hit my inbox within minutes. im delighted, having clearly done something right -- what is more ill resist the urge to just cheekily post that shape of water gif and give u an actual answer--

dolphin dick

[felawnie]

Witches On Tinder

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dirt/eldritch/eggplant

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Leila Chatti, from “Tea”

[felawnie]

“Please, ma’am.” Lara is using her very best patient civil servant voice. “I realise this is frustrating for you, but I cannot issue a birth certificate for that child!” This is shaping up to be a very confusing Monday morning. It’s not like working for the civil registry is particularly thrilling, but it’s usually quite pleasant at least.

“I don’t see why not!” the mother on the other end of the counter sulks. “He is my son, isn’t he? So I should be able to register him!”

Lara takes another desperate look at the child in question. Child, not baby, because he is standing on his own two feet and looks to be about ten years old. Even if he’s a bit short for his age.

“What’s wrong, Mama?” he asks, a typical child’s frown forming on his forehead, and Lara blinks. The child’s light brown skin has an odd pattern to it, almost like the grain of polished w—

“Nothing, honey,” the mother replies hastily. “This nice lady is just trying to explain something to me.”

Lara feels her cheeks burn. “Ma’am,” she says, bringing her voice all the way own.  “You’re supposed to register children within three days of their birth!”

The mother bristles like an angry hen. “He woke up the day before yesterday! It’s not his fault he wasn’t born.”

Lara stares at her, any sort of reply stuck in her throat. She can’t have heard that right.

She is just about to lose it – in front of a client no less – when one of her colleagues emerges from the copy room. “Is something the matter?” he asks concernedly. “Can I help?”

“All I want,” the woman huffs. “Is to register my child.”

Lara is about to apologise to Collin for dragging him into this, but as soon as he glances down over the counter and sees the little boy, he hastily stands up straight again.

“Ah, yes, I see,” he nods nervously. “No problem at all, ma’am. I’ll just— Asha?”

“Yes?” a voice answers from one of the offices in the back and Asha appears a moment later.

“A special registry for you,” Collin says, a tad sheepishly.

As soon as Asha sees the child, her eyebrows raise so high in delighted surprise that they nearly disappear under the edge of her hijab. “Hello,” she smiles. “How lovely to meet you. What’s your name?”

“Willow,” the boy replies cautiously.

“That’s a great name,” she answers decidedly and promptly turns her smile on the mother, who already looks considerably happier. “If you’ll follow me to the other desk, we’ll have Willow signed in in no time.”

Lara watches them go in silent bewilderment.

“I know,” Collin hums beside her. “It’s always the wooden puppets that come to life, never understood why.”

“…puppets?” Lara gulps. The boy’s hair had looked rather like spun wool…

“Mm,” he nods. “But Asha handles all the special registrations, so you needn’t worry about it. Just smile, nod, and go fetch Asha. That’s what I do.”

Her head is beginning to spin, but Lara nods all the same. “Right. All special cases are for Asha.”

“Exactly,” he smiles encouragingly. “Just remember, when it comes to birth certificates: living puppets, faerie changelings, babies from peaches, logs come to life, that’s all Asha. Oh, and with the marriages we do come across the odd brought to life statue, and they obviously didn’t have a birth certificate to begin with, so she handles those as well.”

Well that’s just too much to process at once, so Lara settles for a dutiful sound of agreement instead of a proper reply. She watches with growing admiration how Asha chats happily with the mother and child from behind her counter. A few minutes later the two of them walk off, smiling proudly, and with the new papers tucked safely into the woman’s bag.

“There we are,” Asha chimes. “No harm done. And another proud single parent.”

“Thank you,” Lara says, the apology clear in her voice, she really wishes she could have handled this a bit more gracefully.

“No problem,” Asha replies warmly. “It’s your first month, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Lara makes a grateful sound and Asha gives her an encouraging smile.

“I give presentations at the head office, if you’re interested,” she says cheerfully. “Bureaucracy, the Supernatural and You. You should come along some time! Because I’m telling you, with the number of young people stomping off into the woods for some escapism nowadays, there’s going to be a big influx of special cases. Mark my words.”

[felawnie]

laurie 😔

[felawnie]

Since first one was really popular, here is my next vampire comic. This one is inspired by old anime and....it is the tale about me and my friend and our love for vampire romances :D

(I put both of my comics on Gumroad if you want to support me https://chechula.gumroad.com/ ....well, it is same thing as here just in the PDF x_x )

[felawnie]

7th Headless Haunting: The Invisible Woman

A ghost's appearance can change over time depending on the emotional connection to their former lives. This change is involuntary and inconsistent. For some, their form shifts to mirror the cause of their death, or emphasizes some other lasting trauma. Others shift into a metaphorical representation of how they view themselves. But most just look like their living forms until time makes the details slip away. Because if there's no one left to remember them properly, and they can't really remember themselves, that can trigger a disconnection from their physical past. This disconnect causes the "sheet ghost" effect, as the soul loses the shape of its previous container.

It's a sad thing, catching a glimpse of a soul losing their face. But that's part of the cycle of life and death. Everything changes. Everything fades.

Sometimes that fading is even done on purpose.

Morgan doesn't call herself Morgan anymore because she doesn't want to metaphysically dox herself.

Through the efforts of the most annoying woman she's ever met, she's become one of the most famous ghosts in the south. She did not ask for this, she does not want it, and every day she wonders how she could have possibly been charmed into a barely 3 week relationship by someone she had to politely ask to stop making tictoks in the crystal shop constantly. It was easy to blame grief and depression for the drastic lowering of standards but still. Good lord.

She realized her mistake pretty quickly, but then "Luna's" roommate supposedly kicked her out with no warning and a sick cat named Quartz. And past!Morgan, who vividly remembered how much being homeless sucked, didn't want her out on the street.

(Okay, mostly she didn't want Quartz out on the street. He was goofy and sweet and the knowledge that she liked him way more than her new girlfriend made her feel guilty.)

This was a mistake.

She opened her home to them. Payed for emergency cat surgery. Dealt with arguments over filming in the house and random strangers coming over for "guided group spiritual exploration" sessions that she wasn't allowed to be in the room for because Luna was "working". Scrubbed Luna's essential oil covered bare ass marks off of her kitchen counters. And in return, she got this woman inviting something into her home.

One night while Luna was out with friends, it came into Morgan's bedroom and left her head on the other side of the house.

She never figured out exactly what got her, but the dark twisted shape made sure to find her terrified spirit before it left, and she could feel its irritation as it inspected her. She wasn't the right target. Luna owed a dept that she probably didn't even comprehend to something very pissed off.

All this would have been bad enough, but none of it was really worth being a ghost about. She'd had worse relationships, and since grandma was gone, almost all of her loved ones were dead anyway, so she really should have left.

But what about Quartz?

 She was the one handling all of his post operative care, and after watching Luna forget time after time to feed him or give him his meds or even really pay attention to him when he wasn't serving as a cuddly toy to cry on or an aesthetic set piece for videos, she decided to hang around until he was either stable or dead.

Which is how she found out about the haunted house tours.

Luna had been doing this for a while. It seems that every place she had ever lived was "haunted" and she made sure that the internet knew about all the trials and tribulations of being so spiritually gifted in a world filled with such trauma laden souls. She'd been kicked out of her last place for having a pretend spectral affair with her former roommate's dead best friend, and when she moved it didn't take a day for her to "sense something..." and start secretly profiting off of made up shit about Morgan's grandmother.

But now that Morgan was dead she had a goldmine on her hands. The gory, violent, locked room mystery death of a fairly attractive woman wearing nothing but a low cut night gown was already pretty good, but add in the lesbian romance, Morgan's family history, and the fact that Luna's True Love had recently Saved her from an Abusive Environment and Certain Homelessness? Well, that's money baby.

Morgan's friends, bless 'em, had stopped Luna from livestreaming the funeral, and got as many pictures of her body taken down as they could.

Sadly, the fundraiser to purchase her family home for "spiritual conservation" was successful.

She had no idea that her following was that big.

She really should have checked.

Anyway.

Because of Luna she's spent the last 8 years being stalked by the living. Strangers pay to sleep in her bed and record the ambient noises of her room hoping she'll show up and talk to them. They buy books made of private poetry stolen from her journals. They demonize her dead family members and speculate on horrific abuse that didn't happen because "if you pay attention to how she dressed/read between the lines in her writing, there are clues she had serious daddy issues".

Recently, there was a shitty romance novel published based on her death, implying that whatever killed her was simply mad with lust and wanted to make her his dark bride in hell.

Yes "his". Her proxy was straight in that one.

And way slimmer.

That's a reoccurring thing that she tries not to think about too hard.

But the point is that all this mess keeps her from moving on. She just... can't. She spends all her time trying to sabotage Luna's grift as best she can. She exposes all the little tricks Luna uses during her seances to show she's not talking to anyone. She actively keeps other spirits away from the house just in case any of the ghost hunting gear people haul into her living room actually works (it doesn't but better safe that sorry). She never speaks just in case a recording picks something up and she's thrown away chunks of identifying features like her face and most of her tattoos so that if she is spotted, she's harder to identify.

She's spent years staging the most intensive anti-haunting she possibly can.

Quartz died 6 months ago and walked right past the entrance to the rainbow bridge to settle in her lap, just like old times. He tries to lead her away from the house a lot. Into the sunrise, towards her grandma's loud bright laughter and the bustling sounds of a family reunion in full swing.

She wants to follow him so badly.

She just.

Can't.

[felawnie]

The 6th Headless Haunting: Dryad

It was easier to take the land with her out of the way. Money and threats didn't work, and poisoning the dog just made her louder and more annoying than ever about the plan that they were passing off to any local official who asked as a "conspiracy theory". So it was time to escalate. Send a few boys over one evening pretending to be lost hunters. Do it in the woods. Make it brutal enough that the rest of family FINALLY gives up, but give the cops they paid off leeway to lie and call it a bear attack.

1 stubborn 50 something year old woman living out in the boondocks alone. Light work.

The bodies started piling up before they even found her.

The trail cameras were mostly destroyed, but the ones that survived recorded lenticels shifting on tree trunks like bulging veins, and far off human screams playing in short strange bursts, like the sound itself was being chopped to pieces. By the time her ashes were scattered on the forest floor, the whole operation was in chaos.

If you love the woods like she does and you're willing to share space with everything living and dead inside it, you're welcome there. If not?

Get off her fucking property.

[felawnie]

The 5th Headless Haunting: Hand Rod

No one expected Rodney to come back to the studio after the accident. Some did, jokingly, wonder about how Lucy was taking it though. She was very level headed for a goose, but she was also sensitive, with a flair for the dramatic, and grief can really run a person (or puppet) through the wringer.

They made sure she was involved of course. She sat with the family at the funeral, noticeably quiet in her tiny gold trimmed black dress. His mother had requested her presence, even though some joyless news outlets found the whole thing a little silly. The people who actually knew Rodney didn't care though. He was a silly guy! That silliness created Lucy, and Lucy and her friends had touched enough hearts over the years that everyone was starting to doubt if they'd ever get through the piles of heartfelt letters and art dropped off at the studio every day.

So. Anyway. No one expected Rodney to come back. And he didn't.

It's been 6 years now and Lucy's "new performer " never talks to the public. Eggshell Workshop says that she's a little shy and eccentric, and would rather everyone just focus on Lucy. So far these wishes have been respected. So far, they're getting away with it.

These days the fans marvel at how perfect the voice match is. It's great. Sure everyone who Knows had to get used to...how things are now. Even when the cameras aren't rolling she's up and about a lot, wandering the studio, leaving sassy little notes in the writer's room, psychologically torturing that one executive maybe they don't know and also he definitely deserved it.

Once a year she has a nice mother daughter memorial brunch with Rodney's mom.

Everyone who Knows has vowed to guard Lucy's...private life. their goal is to keep lazy youtubers and ghost hunters focused on whatever gory creepypasta baby show fanfic they come up with this week instead of their actual haunted fleece-skinned coworker. Lucy finds all that fuss hilarious of course, she's never shied away from the spotlight, and she wouldn't mind a small role as the worlds most glamorous horror icon, but she appreciates how offended her studio family gets for her.

Maybe the truth will be revealed when (if) she ever decides to retire.