feigned-ambivalence

[feigned-ambivalence]

Just watched Pinocchio again with my mother and it has become my goto to help her understand the importance of her voice in lending credence to some iffy news and the dangers of confusing credibility and fact when an idea/ fake news is echoed by people with supposedly higher social standing. Like pastors or retired CEOs. I just point to Pinocchio and she gets it, immediately. And starts googling.

[feigned-ambivalence]

There is something to be said about needs. They are like water. You either provide a canal for them to join mass bodies of water or they will build some place else. And depending on environment, can become toxic. 

Needs cannot be ignored, they need to either be cultivated or met. 

[feigned-ambivalence]

I am not okay

I’m married to a job that kills me inside. And that’s coming from a person who just survived leukaemia. It is bringing me back to the days of having anxiety so bad that my body tortures me for it. 

Working in a bank, means I’ve learned how to be financially secure. But because all the financial products I have are with the bank, it is going to be so painful to get all the contracts re-written. 

What do I do? I hate having to subject my body to this when I haven’t even fully recovered. 

[feigned-ambivalence]

I’m not confident. But I’m confident enough to know that self-doubt is but the beginning of a better me. 

[feigned-ambivalence]

Home by Kit Chan

Whenever I am feeling low I look around me and I know There's a place that will stay within me Wherever I may choose to go I will always recall the city Know every street and shore Sail down the river which brings us life Winding through my Singapore

This is home truly, where I know I must be Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows This is home surely, as my senses tell me This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

When there are troubles to go through We'll find a way to start anew There is comfort in the knowledge That home's about its people too So we'll build our dreams together Just like we've done before Just like the river which brings us life There'll always be Singapore

This is home truly, where I know I must be Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows This is home surely, as my senses tell me This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

This is home truly, where I know I must be Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows This is home surely, as my senses tell me This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

For this is where I know it's home For this is where I know I'm home  

This song will forever be etched in my Singaporean heart. Even though there are only 1.9m Singaporean adults. The 5-6 million of us that call Singapore our home, I believe that no matter where we are, we share the desire to build our dreams on this tiny island, with the our Singlish, while admiring its greenery and waters. 

[feigned-ambivalence]

So I’ve finally got around to watching Crazy Rich Asians and I must say..

Everything in the movie was quite crappy tbh, I mean having the matriarch of the family incorrectly state that “kaki nang” is Hokkien (it is Teo chew)  and then having your entire family speak cantonese and different accents of English? :/

But the mahjong scene. WOW. That was legendary. I don’t know how to play mahjong, but I know enough to know exactly what was happening. That scene was pure art. Everything else that was crappy was building to that one scene. So I forgive everything. 

[feigned-ambivalence]

The math just does not add up.

The concept of leftover women just does not make sense. You have a surplus of men. If all women got married, there would be leftover men. Not leftover women. lol

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Every time I realise I can’t translate a phrase, I wonder if I would have a different perspective if I didn’t know a second, third or fourth language. 

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Wow the hate is coming. The questions against the fact that automation is happening. And while reading the news, this played in the background. And it really hit home. 

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Part of me feels like if I know I have a new perspective on things and I want to be heard, I can be. But part of me knows that it is not easy managing people and too many opinions will mess up the whole thing.

[feigned-ambivalence]

Watch the sunrise with me - Joi Chua

[feigned-ambivalence]

UBI: Capitalism that doesn’t start at zero.

I watched Andrew Yang on Youtube today cus it is almost hard to believe that I would buy into such a radical idea. So I scoured the comment sections to see any valid point against it. And every point ever just got shot down so quickly. The biggest question mark is, is UBI sustainable?

And the answer is yes, it actually will. If not now, eventually. The goal of automation is so that humans don't have to work anymore. And if you don't have a shift of mindset he is proposing, you end up with a vast majority of people with no jobs and all the tech companies getting all the wealth (even if not from within the country) which is not sustainable for the country itself. Capitalism works if everyone or at least their parents/family member has capital but if labour is a capital that is of not much value anymore, and a lot of people only have that 1 form of capital,  how do you make capitalism work for an AI future when people can't participate? 

The $1000 is putting value into people just being in the economy. AI has made it such that you don't have to do as much work for the same amount of productivity or actually, 100x more. Instead of that benefiting the owners of tech only, he's saying that the layman should get a dividend too. Because the advent of technology belongs at least in part to the environment that created it, not just the people who thought of it. And I would argue that it is good for businesses too. Because you don't want to upend the stakeholder of the economy that gave rise to your existence but you can't sacrifice your company for all other companies. It has to be done by the government. 

The beauty of this is that people will still have to work to have nice things. And there are significantly more nice things to have in the 21st century other than just food on the table. So while people participated in the economy in the past to have basic necessities, we would be participating in the future to have wifi, computers, and mobiles. Which if you think about it, are not essential to survival, but essential to the 21st century. And you want to be able to afford those big things not on your UBI but on your paycheck which will give you access to a credit card. (Caveat: I think this is a good starting point, but he needs to iron out the deets on a lot of policies that target specific things)

One worry I have though is his take on the opioid crisis. I am all for legalising it but if you do, you need to come down very harshly on illegal drug traffickers. And I’m not sure America is ready to hand out tough punishments on “non violent crime” when in fact (as evidenced by current stats and the Opium Wars) it is actually extremely destructive to traffic drugs.

[feigned-ambivalence]

Mount Fuji (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

[feigned-ambivalence]

Everyone is born with a certain level of capability. To a certain extent, I appreciate it as God’s work.

But when I judge a person, I don’t judge based on what they can do but what they bother to do consistently. I forgive if they’re not able to do certain things. And give extra points if they are able to consistently work at their faults and improve their capabilities. On the other hand, I’m particularly unforgiving if they are able to but choose not to work their God-given talents. 

What I’m trying to say is, I believe everyone has some form of disabilities. And I find it absurd when lazy people judge people with more disabilities than others. If you are really worth your weight in salt, you should manage and be gentle to people who are less capable and earning less than you. Not label them or write their mistakes off with a label like “anger-management issues” or “low IQ”. Scientifically, that may be true, but your actions are disgusting. You write off the worth of their hard work in favour of your lazy ass sat on the throne of your own gross self-appreciation. When really, you should be grateful for the freedom of your independence. 

[feigned-ambivalence]

day 1/100 japanese vocabulary

預かる　あずかる　to look after, to take care of

預ける　あずける　to leave (in someone’s care), to put/place (in someone’s care)

高価　こうか　highly priced, expensive, valuable

個人情報　こじんじょうほう　personal information

指摘する　してきする　to point out, to identify

そもそも　in the first place, to begin with, from the start; after all

捕まる　つかまる　to be caught, to be arrested

掴まる　つかまる　to hold on to, to grasp

抵抗　ていこう　resistance, opposition

人見知りする　ひとみしりする　shyness, fear of strangers, stranger anxiety

[feigned-ambivalence]

In reality though 5-7 is a constant effort that you help each other achieve through trust and willingness to look in the mirror.

“Before I fall in love again 1. I want us to be friends. Which means, I want to be able to eat my favourite cheese crust pizza with you, while having cheese all over my face and even in my hair, without feeling embarrassed or concerned about it. I want to be comfortable with you, I want to be okay about being messy, irritating, embarrassing, disgusting, petty while with you. Because I will be petty when I see my ex best friend post a happy picture and I will be messy during my finals and I will be embarrassing when I meet your parents for I suck at meeting parents. I want to be okay with being the way I am and the only way to be okay is to know that you’re okay with me being things other than beautiful, graceful and composed at all times. 2. I want to be able to have long and passionate conversations with you not just about existential things but also about what went wrong in the ending of that book and how kids are affected by media and how tomato basil combination always works. I want to have conversations where we may not always have the same views but our fundamental values always fall in place. I want to talk to you about the beauty of the stars but I also want to talk to you about the disgusting mentality behind certain societal norms. 3. I want to see how consistent your actions are with your words. I don’t want to fall for love letters or poems, for sweet Instagram captions or long birthday texts, I want to fall in love with you showing up on time and keeping your promises. 4. I want to take it slow. I want our story to work out in years, not months. I want to respect time and space this time. 5. I want to make sure I am not seeking love from you for the lack of love I have for myself. I want to make sure you aren’t a void I am filling in, you are not an alternative to the things I can’t give myself. I want to make sure you are not doing the same. 6. I want to work out with my insecurities and fears from the past. I don’t want to project them on you, I don’t want to subject you to the doubts, suspicion and anger I carry from the people I have known in the past. 7. Before I fall in love again, I want to make a mattress with you. Of understanding and respect and trust. So when we fall, it doesn’t hurt.”

— creatingnikki  (via shareaquote)