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#35 Max Boyens

Guest: Season 7, Main: Season 8

35/35, Men 16/16

It’s easy to forget now that season 8’s reign of terror feels so far in the rear view mirror, but this little shit was at one point one of the most prominent characters on VPR.

He was misogynistic to any woman he was involved with, unprofessional at his job and bickered constantly with his closest friend. Now these are usually great qualities for a male VRPer to have but Max never had any of the fun that a James or a Jax did.

Max & Brett are truly one of the worst reality tv duos ever. They’re dressing as the Toms! They’re disrespecting Scheana together! They’re tossing Dayna around like a hacky sack! Even when they were pretending to argue about their rivalling Dayna situationships it was super boring.

Max was a part of refresh where everyone had their counterpart - Charli was baby Scheana, Dayna was baby Stassi, Danica was baby Kristen, Brett was notionally baby Jax and I guess Max was a combination of the worst qualities of Jax, Schwartz and Sandoval put into an extremely untelegenic host body.

Best moment - when at the reunion he mentions that he slept with Kristen twice before even though we almost never saw them interact and Kristen had been cosying up to Dayna <3 more of a great Kristen moment I guess though

Worst moment - literally any Dayna & Max scene of the 25+ in S8

Would I fire him if I were LVP?: Yes, if not only for the many racist tweets that surfaced but also because he sucks.

I know it seems dramatic to put him last especially when the next two out are like alleged sex criminals but if you don’t understand please rewatch S8.

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I’ve just re-downloaded tumblr after about 7 years and decided to post a Vanderpump Rules cast ranking after 10 seasons and it’s most successful season yet. I’m using the Wikipedia page and I’m going to include all cast members main and recurring so we’ve got 35 cast members, many of whom I greatly doubt the validity of Wikipedia’s word but I’ll include them anyway. So let’s get this roast a-cooking!!

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big brother last night 😂👸🏽

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When I was 16, I had a fake I.D. and decided to go to a gay bar by myself because some friends bailed on me. While there, an older gentleman bought me a drink. He wasn’t a creeper, and he definitely wasn’t unattractive. I accepted the drink and began talking to him. No big deal. As the hour progressed, I felt myself feeling strange. I mentioned that I felt like I had a headache, and this guy helped guide me out of the bar. As we were walking down the street, the thought of, ‘Oh god, he’s drugged me, I’m going to die’ came to my head. I tried to get away, but I was so drugged up that I could barely walk, let alone speak. It also didn’t help that I had really large ‘goth’ platform shoes because I was going through a phase. Anyway, this guy brought me to his suv and began undressing me. As a final act of defiance, I hit him over the head with my platform shoe. He then punched me, and I remember thinking, ‘Why don’t they ever give workshops to gay guys about being victims of rape too?’ While I was as careful as possible, I never saw the guy slip something in the drink. I even watched the bar tender make the drink. Anyway, I lied there completely paralyzed while this pervert was lubing up. I locked eyes with his for a moment, and that’s when it happened. A very large and angry drag queen opened the door of the vehicle and beat the shit out of my attempted rapist. She and her other drag friends helped dress and care for me while the police arrived. I was saved by a group of guardian drag queens. They were basically the modern day ‘angels from heaven.’

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Me: I hate cleaning up dog shit Donald Trump: I hate cleaning up dog shit Me:

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DREAM REST OF RPDR8

-Spoiler- W1 - Naysha & Laila lipsync, Naysha sashays, Kim Chi wins W2 - Laila & Dax lipsync, both sashay, Chi Chi wins W3 - Tempest is brought back, Naomi & Acid lipsync to Shoop, Acid sashays, Bob wins the challenge W4 - Group singing, Tempest & Derrick lipsync to Hollaback girl, tempest sashays, Thorgy wins W5 - Snatch Game, Cynthia & Chi Chi lipsync to I am what I am, double shantay, Thorgy wins (again) W6 - Roast of Michelle Visage, Cynthia & Naomi lipsync to Primadonna, Cynthia sashays, Bob wins W7 - Movie Based Sewing Challenge, Derrick & Robbie lipsync to Let it Go, Robbie sashays, Kim wins W8 - Wizard of Oz makeover challenge, Derrick & Chi Chi lipsync to Defying Gravity, Derrick sashays, Kim wins again W9 - Gaming themed ball, Naomi & Chi Chi lipsync to Respect, Naomi sashays, Thorgy wins W10 - Chi Chi is eliminated W11 - Kim Chi is the winner!!! (I get that this is completely unrealistic but it's what I'd love to happen)

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Kim chi's looks need to leave me alone I'm trying to do homework and they're so perfect

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Trixie's look is highkey one of favourites of all seasons

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This top three will never be matched

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mark and lexie were never given a fair chance. Mark and Lexie> MerDer imo

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QUEEN OF THE 2000's & 2010's